God and the Call to Our Deepest Freedom With Colleen Thomas (Episode 53)

What if the God you were taught to fear is not the God who has been calling you all along? Many of us carry images of God shaped by fear, shame, or the pressure to get it right. But what happens when those images begin to fall away? What if the spiritual journey is less about becoming someone else and more about becoming deeply, authentically yourself? In this conversation, Britta sits down with spiritual director and contemplative teacher Colleen Thomas to explore the initiations that transformed her understanding of God, freedom, and the spiritual life. Colleen shares her journey from a rigid, fear-based religious upbringing to discovering a contemplative path rooted in love, mystery, and belonging. Together they explore the courage it takes to follow an inner call, the invitations hidden within uncertainty, and why the deepest freedom is found not in escaping ourselves, but in becoming who we truly are. If you've ever questioned your faith, wrestled with uncertainty, or sensed an invitation toward a deeper and more mature spirituality, this conversation offers a spacious and hopeful companion for the journey.   A Spiritual Director and long-time practitioner of Centering Prayer, Colleen Thomas delights in companioning others on their spiritual journey, facilitating contemplative prayer groups, workshops, and retreats with a particular passion for curating contemplative spaces for younger contemplatives and the BIPOC community in the Christian tradition. She serves as the Diversity Outreach Coordinator for Contemplative Outreach Ltd., where you can also hear her in conversation about Centering Prayer and the contemplative life on their podcast Opening Minds, Opening Hearts. After graduating from Fuller Theological Seminary with a MA in Theology and Art, she worked in television in Los Angeles for 15 years before relocating back to her hometown of Washington, D.C. where she enjoys thunderstorms, free museums, and frequent travel.     - - - - - - - - -   Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.   Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References:  Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love Opening Minds, Opening Hearts Show Notes:  1:08 - Britta welcomes spiritual director and contemplative teacher Colleen Thomas, introducing the conversation through the lens of Colleen's lifelong love story with God 3:00 - Britta frames Colleen's journey as an Initiation in Love, exploring how the spiritual life unfolds through invitation, freedom, and relationship with the Divine 4:00 - Colleen reflects on her earliest experiences of God's presence and the people who first nurtured her spiritual life 7:40 - Colleen shares how an early call to God coexisted with a fear-based religious upbringing, exploring perfectionism, shame, and the pressure to earn God's love 13:30 - Colleen recounts breaking away from the rigidity of her faith tradition after high school, discovering freedom while wrestling with the tension between the sacred and the secular 17:40 - Britta and Colleen explore the paradox that true freedom is found not apart from God, but within God, even as old images of fear continue to soften 19:55 - Colleen describes the inner call that led her to seminary, trusting divine guidance over certainty as a new chapter of her life began 28:00 - Britta reflects on how saying yes to a genuine calling can completely change the trajectory of a life, as Colleen shares why she ultimately chose not to become a pastor 31:40 - Together they explore the adventure of following God's invitations, embracing mystery over certainty, and discovering the sacred in ordinary life 35:15 - Colleen reflects on spiritual flexibility, letting go of attachments, and allowing life's invitations to stretch and transform us 38:57 - Britta and Colleen discuss how growth in love always brings us to an edge, returning to the theme that God continually invites us into greater freedom 40:41 - Colleen shares how contemplative practices, new communities, and unexpected experiences—from Centering Prayer to television production—expanded and transformed her image of God 51:00 - Colleen reflects on her years in reality television, the tension between security and deeper purpose, and how every chapter ultimately became part of her spiritual formation 59:00 - Britta and Colleen discuss the cost of ignoring the soul's deeper longings and the courage required to create space to truly listen 1:07:00 - Britta reflects on the ripple effects of following one's calling, while Colleen shares how letting go of familiar identities opened her to the next invitation 1:13:00 - Britta reflects on the cyclical nature of the spiritual journey, where each ending becomes the beginning of a deeper invitation 1:15:00 - Colleen expands on what she means when she says her deepest freedom is found in God 1:16:35 - Colleen offers final wisdom on embracing uncertainty, loosening the grip of the false self, and trusting that every authentic call invites us into greater freedom and love 1:26:40 - Britta brings the conversation to a close Production: This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].  

Have you ever looked back on one of the hardest seasons of your life and realized it changed you in ways you couldn't have imagined? What if the very challenge you wished had never happened was shaping the gift you were always meant to give? In this follow-up to Britta's conversation with Mark Steven Porro, Britta explores one of the most hopeful stages of the initiatory journey: The Gift. Drawing from Mark's moving story of caring for his aging mother and a reading from her Initiations in Love spiritual memoir, she reflects on how our greatest struggles can become the very places where love, compassion, wisdom, and purpose are forged. Through guided reflection and journaling, Britta invites you to look at your own life through a new lens. Instead of asking, "Why did this happen to me?" be curious about "What gift might this experience be growing in me?" If you're walking through a difficult season, or looking back on one that shaped you, this episode offers a gentle reminder that Love never wastes our suffering. If we're willing to let ourselves be taken all the way through, we, too, become the gift.   - - - - - - - - -   Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References:  Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love Show Notes: 1:10 - Britta welcomes listeners back and reflects on her conversation with Mark Steven Porro, tracing his initiation from the unexpected call to care for his mother through to the gifts that emerged from the journey 3:00 - Britta revisits the profound role reversal of becoming a caregiver, the testing of unconditional love, and the unexpected beauty that can emerge through end-of-life care 6:00 - Britta explores Mark's guiding philosophy, "Find the Joy," as a spiritual practice of choosing gratitude, beauty, and connection in the midst of life's challenges 7:00 - Britta reflects on one of the deepest insights from the conversation: Mark believed he was rescuing his mother, but ultimately discovered that his mother was transforming him through presence, humility, devotion, and a deeper capacity to love 9:22 - Britta introduces today's reading from Initiations in Love, Stage 5: The Gift, exploring how our greatest challenges often become our greatest offerings 11:05 - Britta reads the introduction to Stage 5, "The Gift," reflecting on how the fruits of our initiations become gifts not only for ourselves but for the world around us 16:36 - Britta invites listeners to pause, notice what the reading stirred within them, and begin reflecting on the gifts hidden within their own initiations 19:00 - Britta offers guided journaling prompts exploring the gifts that emerge through suffering, hidden invitations within life's burdens, unexpected teachers, and the qualities of love strengthened through adversity Looking back on a difficult season in my life, what gifts emerged that I could not see at the time? Is there a responsibility, challenge, or relationship that I have been viewing only as a burden? What gift might be hidden within it? Have I ever discovered that someone I thought I was helping was actually transforming me? What did I receive from them? What qualities of love, compassion, joy, wisdom, or presence have been strengthened through my own suffering? 21:20 - Britta closes the reflection by inviting listeners to remember someone whose love shaped their lives, and reflects on how our greatest gifts are most often shared through ordinary acts of kindness, presence, and compassion 23:00 - Britta brings the episode to a close with an invitation to trust the initiatory journey and become the gift that life has been shaping all along    Production: This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].  

Have you ever found yourself caring for someone you love and wondered how to keep your heart open when life becomes difficult, exhausting, or uncertain? In this episode of Initiations in Love, Britta sits down with author Mark Steven Porro for a moving conversation about caring for his aging mother during the final years of her life. What began as an unexpected interruption became a profound initiation into love, compassion, and presence. Together, they explore the realities of end-of-life caregiving, the role reversal between parent and child, and the surprising joy that can emerge even in the midst of grief and decline. Mark shares how learning to preserve his mother's dignity, create moments of beauty, and simply be present transformed not only her final chapter, but his own life as well. This conversation is an invitation to discover that even in life's hardest seasons, love can deepen, joy can coexist with sorrow, and sometimes the person we think we are caring for becomes our greatest teacher.   Mark Steven Porro, a New Jersey native, earned an Industrial Design degree from The Ohio State University. After years of agency work, his love of acting led him to Hollywood, where he appeared in dozens of television, film, and stage productions. Mark also spent his twenty-eight years in Tinseltown, entrepreneuring. He started five non-profit companies. Mark is an award-winning designer, writer, director, and now a best-selling, award-winning author. He has written lots of jokes, several screenplays, and one award-winning short film. A Cup of Tea on the Commode—a sad, sweet, and funny debut memoir—chronicles his multitasking adventures of filling his mother's last years with love, laughter, and joy. He now lives in the South of France.   - - - - - - - - -   Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References:  Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love acupofteaonthecommode.org Show Notes: 1:05 - Britta welcomes author Mark Steven Porro and introduces the theme of caregiving as an initiation into deeper love 3:00 - Britta frames the conversation through the Initiations in Love lens and explores the rite of passage of end-of-life caregiving 5:15 - Mark shares his mother's lifelong struggle with depression, her sudden decline, and the unexpected call that led him to become her full-time caregiver 14:00 - Britta reflects on Mark's growing sense that he was being called to play a bigger role for his mom, and Mark shares stories of his siblings and his initiation into becoming a parental figure to his own mother 17:00 - Mark speaks to caregiving as a profound expression of unconditional love 18:30 - Britta highlights Mark's wholehearted response to the call, and Mark shares how creating salon days, beautiful clothes, and "Days of Beauty" helped preserve his mother's dignity and joy 26:00 - Britta recognizes Mark's creativity and gift for innovation, and Mark reflects on using those gifts in service to his mother, eventually realizing that she had, in many ways, rescued him 30:00 - Britta explores the deeper spiritual dimension of caregiving and asks Mark what made him say yes to such a difficult path; Mark shares why caring for his mother simply felt like the right thing to do 40:40 - Britta asks about the hardest moments, and Mark opens up about the vulnerability of witnessing his mother's physical decline, navigating her darker moods, and wrestling with his own moments of frustration and doubt 47:45 - Britta reflects on how unconditional love gets tested through caregiving and names it as a true rite of passage; Mark shares the origins of his lifelong motto, "Find the Joy" 56:45 - Mark describes how creativity became part of his grieving process and reflects on the gifts that emerged from this initiation, including his book and a deeper appreciation for life 1:03:00 - Britta and Mark speak to our shared humanity and Mark offers words of encouragement for those walking the path of end-of-life caregiving 1:08:00 - Britta brings the episode to a close with a reminder to find the joy, even in life's most difficult seasons   Production: This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].  

Are you exhausted from trying to hold it all together? Constantly striving, performing, managing, fixing, and controlling in order to feel safe, worthy, or good enough? In this follow-up episode of the Initiations in Love podcast, Britta explores one of the deepest Survivor Self strategies of all: the illusion of control. Following her conversation with Dr. Ilana Nankin, who shared how a devastating 44-foot rock climbing fall shattered the identities she had built around achievement and productivity, Britta dives deeper into what happens when life interrupts our carefully constructed sense of self. Reading a powerful passage from her spiritual memoir, Initiations in Love, Britta recounts a profound unraveling experience during a COR Leadership Training, where the masks, identities, and Survivor Self strategies she had relied upon suddenly revealed themselves as a fragile house of cards. What emerged was a humbling but liberating truth: beneath the striving, beneath the performance, beneath the need to control, there is something far more real. Through reflection and guided journaling prompts, this episode invites you to gently examine the roles, masks, and identities you may be working hard to maintain, and to consider what might become possible if you loosened your grip and allowed truth to emerge. If you're tired of performing, carrying the weight of responsibility for everything, or trying to control what cannot be controlled, this episode offers a compassionate invitation to return to what is real. - - - - - - - - - Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References:  Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love Show Notes:1:15 - Britta welcomes you to the podcast and reflects on her conversation with Ilana Nankin, the impact of her 44-foot fall, and how life interrupted the identities she had built around achievement, productivity, and being the one who always keeps going  3:00 - Britta explores the deeper questions beneath Ilana's initiation: Who am I without striving, accomplishing, performing, or controlling? She examines the illusion of control and the ways we attempt to create safety through doing 5:30 - Britta discusses the "linchpin" of the false self, the sophisticated strategies of the Survivor Self, and how our masks, roles, and core beliefs keep us separate from the truth. She reflects on how awakening begins when life exposes what we have been unwilling to face 11:35 - Britta introduces today's reading from Initiations in Love, Stage 4: Emerging, from the chapter "The House of Cards" 13:40 - Britta reads a powerful excerpt describing her own unraveling experience during a leadership training, where identities, masks, and survivor strategies began to collapse in the light of truth 23:20 - Britta invites listeners to notice what was stirred by the reading and reflects on the sacred process of allowing the false self to unravel in service of discovering what is real 24:30 - Britta offers journaling prompts exploring masks, control, performance, truth, and the identities we work so hard to maintain: What identity, role, or mask am I working way too hard to keep intact? Where am I calling it responsibility, when it is actually control? What truth would collapse the house of cards if I finally admitted it? What would remain if I stopped performing? Where am I full of shit (Please excuse our language!), and what would it cost me to finally tell the truth?  29:20 - Britta closes with a gentle invitation to bring awareness and compassion to the masks that once helped us survive, loosen our grip on control, and allow life to return us to what is real, true, and loving   Production:This podcast is produced, mixed, and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own podcast, please visit www.cardinalstudio.co or e-mail [email protected].  

What happens when life suddenly interrupts the identity you've worked so hard to build? What if the very thing that breaks your momentum… also breaks through the masks you didn't even realize you were wearing? In this episode of Initiations in Love, Britta sits down with educator, entrepreneur, and Breathe For Change founder Dr. Ilana Nankin for a powerful conversation about achievement, perfectionism, control, and the identities we construct to feel worthy, successful, or enough. After surviving a devastating 44-foot rock climbing fall that should have left her paralyzed or worse, Ilana found herself in an initiation she never saw coming. Forced to slow down and unable to operate at the same pace and productivity that had long defined her, she began confronting what lived underneath the striving. Together, Britta and Ilana explore miracles, mortality, authenticity, the "achiever mask," and how life's disruptions can become invitations into deeper presence, gratitude, and truth. This conversation is an invitation to pause… listen inward… and ask yourself if you're willing to find out what remains if the masks fell away.   Dr. Ilana Nankin is the Founder and Co-CEO of Breathe for Change, a transformative higher education institution. Ilana is an award-winning educator and entrepreneur whose classroom experience revealed a powerful truth: when teachers thrive, students succeed. That realization led her to earn her Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction, where her research on educator well-being became the foundation for Breathe for Change. Through evidence-based Master's of Education programs, teacher trainings, and graduate-level certifications, Breathe for Change has empowered more than 20,000 educators across thousands of schools and districts nationwide to enhance their own well-being, improve educational outcomes, and unlock their full human potential. Learn more about Ilana and her movement at breatheforchange.com   - - - - - - - - -   Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References:  Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love breatheforchange.com Show Notes: 1:00 - Britta introduces Dr. Ilana Nankin, educator, entrepreneur, and founder of Breathe For Change 2:50 - Ilana shares the origins of her life's mission and the inner drive that taught her to keep going until she arrived at what mattered most 6:25 - Britta introduces the "Initiations in Love" framework and invites Ilana to share the miraculous, life-altering story of surviving a 44-foot climbing fall 18:00 - Ilana reflects on the profound gratitude that emerged from her near-death experience and the perspective shift it created 21:45 - Ilana shares what feels most alive and integrated now: quieting the achiever identity, appreciating what she already has, and living with greater joy, awe, and presence 24:00 - Through personal stories, Ilana reflects on becoming more attuned to the preciousness of everyday life and the shift from victimhood into welcoming what is 27:20 - A deeper initiation unfolds as post-accident concussion symptoms force Ilana to stop working, leading to the crumbling of identity, surrender of control, and quieter layers of healing 34:50 - Britta and Ilana discuss being "in the midst of it" and what Britta refers to as the Emerging stage of initiation 37:15 - Britta reflects on the loosening of ego structures, the invitation to face deeper truth, and the awakening of awareness and meta-awareness 42:10 - Together they explore the "big bang" awakening moments that radically interrupt the familiar sense of self 44:00 - Ilana shares her growing intolerance for what feels misaligned or inauthentic, while Britta reflects on the subtle call to come home to oneself and cultivate a more balanced inner life 53:00 - Ilana speaks to authenticity, the exhaustion of "wearing masks," and how the experience reshaped the way she relates to herself and others 59:00 - Ilana offers final words of wisdom on gratitude, presence, and cultivating an "attitude of gratitude" 1:02:00 - Britta brings the episode to a close

Do you ever feel a pull inside you… an inner knowing that something in your life is asking to change, awaken, or deepen, even if you can't fully explain it? Or perhaps life has already disrupted your familiar way of being, and you sense you can no longer continue as you once did. In this follow-up episode to Britta's conversation with John Prendergast (Episode 47), she explores the nature of "The Call," that unmistakable invitation that asks us to listen and respond from the heart. Through a deeply personal passage from Initiations in Love, Britta shares her own initiation into the sacred feminine and the moment she first recognized the calling that would eventually become COR and her life's work. This episode explores what it means to trust the intuitive, receptive parts of ourselves, to loosen the grip of fear and overthinking, and to say yes to what is unfolding, even before we fully understand where it will ultimately lead. Through reflection and guided journaling prompts, you'll be invited to explore where a call may already be stirring within your own life, and what it might mean to stay close enough to truly hear it. - - - - - - - - -   Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References  Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love Show Notes 1:05 - Britta welcomes you to the podcast, reflects on her conversation with John Prendergast and explores themes of awakening of the heart, early spiritual openings, the seeking mind, grief and suffering as portals, the sacred heart, and the subtle inner call that asks us to respond 7:10 - Britta introduces today's reading from Initiations in Love, Stage 2: The Call, exploring initiation, receptivity, and what it means to say yes to something deeper calling from within 9:38 - Britta reads the excerpt "The Call of the Feminine," sharing one of her first profound experience of initiation, sacred sisterhood, and awakening into her life's calling 22:18 - Britta invites listeners to pause and notice what was stirred by the reading: emotionally, physically, and spiritually 23:15 - Britta invites you to grab paper and a writing utensil for journaling prompts Where in my life do I sense a call—whether quiet or unmistakable—that is asking for my response? What form is that call taking right now? A subtle pull, a restlessness, a disruption, a clear knowing? What makes it difficult for me to say yes to this call? When I imagine responding to it, what do I feel in my body? How do I relate to the more receptive, intuitive aspects of myself—the parts that listen rather than figure things out? Is there a place in my life where I am being invited into a deeper expression of who I am, even if I don't yet know what that fully looks like? 27:20 - Britta closes the episode with a reflection on listening from the heart, connecting with the body's centers of receptivity, and trusting that something within is already listening and already knows  

Have you ever felt a quiet sense that there must be more to life… even if everything looks fine on the surface? Or found yourself cracked open by loss, grief, or a moment that shattered the familiar? In this episode of Initiations in Love, Britta sits down with spiritual teacher and depth psychologist and therapist John Prendergast to explore the path of awakening, through both suffering and the what he calls "subtle inner call." John shares how early spiritual experiences, deep loss, and decades of devoted practice led him into a profound opening of the heart. Together, they explore what it means to move from seeking with the mind to discovering a deeper truth within, and how even our most painful experiences can become portals into love, presence, and connection. This conversation is an invitation to listen more deeply… and to trust that what you are seeking is already here. John J. Prendergast, Ph.D., is the author of Your Deepest Ground, The Deep Heart, and In Touch. He is a retired Adjunct Professor of Psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies and a retired psychotherapist. He studied for many years with the European sage, Jean Klein, as well as with the American spiritual teacher, Adyashanti. He offers residential retreats with his wife, Christiane, as well as various online offerings.   - - - - - - - - -   Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References:  Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love John's website: www.listeningfromsilence.com   Show Notes: 1:00 - Britta introduces John Prendergast and the theme of awakening into Love 3:12 - John shares early awakening experiences and his seeker's path through religion, meditation, and psychedelics, describing a sense of remembering and dissolving into something deeper  9:30 - Britta and John explore the visible and hidden aspects of awakening, and why such experiences are often held quietly within 14:30 - John reflects on his deep commitment to meditation and the "love of truth," meeting his teacher, and how his path evolved into psychology and into the depths of the heart 19:45 - Britta notes that John distinguishes the three different centers of awareness: head, heart, and belly 20:10 - With immense gratitude, John shares the story of his own awakening of the heart center 29:15 – Britta invites John to share more about his former anxiety of relating; he reflects on his attachment with his mother, his fear of abandonment, and the role of safety in allowing the heart to open  36:05 - Together they discuss the role of safety between the heart center of awareness and the Great Heart, the Universal Heart, as well as the importance of tending to the inner flame of "loving awareness" 42:00 – John speaks to the moment where he said "Yes" to what Britta refers to as "The Calling" stage; he shares how the heartbreak and powerlessness of the loss of his first wife was a profound initiation into grief and compassion 50:15 - Britta reflects on John's initiation; they discuss the fabric of normalcy being ripped away, the moment of crisis – or as Britta refers to it as "The Transformation Cauldron" stage – and the invitation to go deeper, to know one's true nature 57:00 - Britta acknowledges John's gifts that emerged from his initiation: his capacity to be with other people, deeply present and open and welcome all they bring, no matter where they are or need to go 60:00 - Britta brings the episode to a close, inviting John to give final guidance: learn to hear and trust the inner voice of heart wisdom and you'll discover it is your very self that is calling you  

Do you ever feel like you have to be better, get it right, or prove yourself in order to be loved?  In this follow-up episode of the Initiations in Love podcast, Britta explores the deeply rooted belief that love must be earned and how it shapes perfectionism, fear of abandonment, and the way we relate to ourselves and others.  Britta reads a passage from her spiritual memoir, "Initiations in Love," and offers journaling prompts to help you see where you might be overperforming in relationships, trying to prove your worthiness.  If you are ready to soften the grip of perfectionism and open to the possibility of unconditional love, this episode will support you.   - - - - - - - - - Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References: Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love Show Notes: 1:00 - Britta welcomes you to the podcast and reflects on the discussion, themes, and learnings from our previously released episode with Monica Tanner, a marriage coach 4:00 - Britta introduces today's reading from Chapter 22, "First Reconciliation," from her spiritual memoir, Initiations in Love. This passage takes place in the Transformation Cauldron, where Britta faced the long-held stories of her worthiness. 6:50 - Britta gives a reading of today's chosen excerpt "First Reconciliation" from her book, Initiations in Love 17:33 - Britta asks processing questions to sense how you've been affected by the passage she read 18:45 - Britta invites you to grab paper and a writing utensil for journaling prompts Where in my life do I still believe I have to earn love? What did I learn, as a child, about being "good" or "bad"? How does that still shape me? When I make a mistake, what story do I tell myself about my worth? What might shift in my relationships if I truly believed that love cannot be earned — and cannot be lost? 22:40 - Britta brings the episode to a close, with an invitation to remember and trust that you are loved just the way you are.   

What does it mean to take true responsibility for the quality of our relationships? In this episode of Initiations in Love, Britta speaks with relationship coach, podcast host, and author Monica Tanner about the power of agency in love. Rather than blaming our partner or waiting for them to change, real transformation begins when we are willing to face our own wounds, fears, and patterns. Monica shares her personal journey through anxious attachment, perfectionism, and fear of abandonment, and how healing those inner dynamics changed the way she shows up in her marriage. Together, Britta and Monica explore how couples can support one another through this kind of healing, learning to recognize their "losing strategies," communicate vulnerably, and build the skills that make love more resilient. This conversation is an invitation to move out of survival mode and into conscious partnership, where two people take responsibility for their own growth while supporting each other in becoming more loving, aware, and free. Monica Tanner, RLT trained, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast, transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, new Amazon Best-Selling book, Bad Marriage Advice, vibrant social media community, and couple's coaching practice, Monica's expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story. - - - - - - - - - Want to know which initiation stage you're in? Take the quiz and learn how to meet it with greater awareness and courage. Click here. If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References  Take the Quiz - What Stage of Initiation are You In? Britta's Book - Initiations in Love Website: monicatanner.com Monica's Book - Bad Marriage Advice Show Notes [01:02] - Britta welcomes relationship coach, podcast host, and author Monica Tanner and introduces the theme of agency in relationship [02:50] - Monica shares how her parents' divorce sparked her lifelong curiosity about relationships and the search for "happily ever after" [04:38] - Monica describes her breaking point and the anxiety that forced her to confront her patterns [7:15] - Monica shares the role her mother played in helping her heal generational wounds, what she describes as her initiation into loving herself [12:15] - Britta and Monica explore Monica's "Calling" to do deeper work and the idea of agency in relationship [19:00] - Monica explains how learning to face her fears and release control transformed the way she showed up in her marriage, a process Britta notes happens in the 3rd stage of initiations, "The Transformation Cauldron" [26:40] - Britta and Monica discuss vulnerability in partnership and how sharing our inner experience can open the door to deeper understanding and connection [30:40] - Monica shares her insights from this initiation [36:26] - Britta and Monica explore the "relationship gym" metaphor – why love requires awareness, skill, and ongoing practice – and Monica introduces the concept of "losing strategies" to protect ourselves in relationship [47:24] - Britta invites listeners to "just get there," to get yourself to the couples gym. [48:21] - Monica shares her final encouragement for couples who feel stuck, reminding listeners that relationship challenges are part of the growth process [50:30] - Britta brings the episode to a close and says good-bye

Feeling underwhelmed by your own life? Holding tightly to something that no longer feels alive? In this follow-up episode of the Initiations in Love podcast, Britta reads a passage from her spiritual memoir, "Initiations in Love," that speaks to how the extraordinary lives inside the ordinary, a truth that was revealed in the previous episode "Stop Waiting – and Follow What's Alive for You! with Jen Aly." In that powerful interview, Jen shared how the sudden loss of a dear friend became a profound initiation, awakening her to the preciousness of being alive. A year later, she answered an even deeper call: releasing the identity, belongings, and home she had worked so hard to build in order to step into a nomadic life. If you sense you're being invited into something new, or are ready to loosen your grip and see your life with fresh eyes, this episode will meet you right where you are.   - - - - - - - - - If you liked this episode of Initiations in Love, tell your friends! Find us on iTunes, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to podcasts to rate/review/subscribe to the show.  Looking to buy Britta's book Initiations in Love? Click here. Want more? Visit our WEBSITE, connect with Britta on FACEBOOK, and follow her on Instagram: @brittaeskey or @cortrainings. Thanks for listening and joining the conversation! Resources and References  Britta's Book- Initiations in Love Show Notes   1:10 - Britta welcomes you to the podcast and reflects on the discussion, themes, and learnings from our previously released episode 5:40 - Britta introduces today's reading from the very end of the book: the closing passage titled "Everything is a Miracle." This passage speaks to Jen's discovery that the extraordinary lives inside the ordinary 7:11 - Britta gives a reading of today's chosen excerpt "Everything is a Miracle" from her book, Initiations in Love 15:57 - Britta asks processing questions to sense how you've been affected by the passage she read 16:36 - Britta invites you to grab paper and a writing utensil for journaling prompts Where in your life are you holding on, possibly too tightly, to an old vision, identity, or dream - even though life may be nudging you in a different direction? What recent challenge or "problem" might actually be life inviting you into greater aliveness, clarity, or alignment? When you consider that the extraordinary lives inside the ordinary, what small, everyday moments could feel more miraculous to you today? If you fully trusted the current flow of your life - even the parts you don't yet understand - what small step might you take next? Where have you experienced Grace protecting you, redirecting you, or guiding you in ways you only recognized later? 21:15 - Britta brings the episode to a close, thanking you for taking time to turn inward, and inviting you to say YES - not someday, but NOW!