2 - The Rukus

This week we talk to our very first guest! Sam's story kicked off around the same time as mine - June/July 2019. But our paths are very different. Sam stayed in the marriage and has worked hard ever since to build a new one. Listen to the ups and downs of Sam's story and where she is now.

This week we talk about Girl Dinner and why it's soooo good. 

Today I talk about our things. What's important to us before and after our relationship breaks down can be very different.How do we set up our lives with things that will serve us moving forward?

I was away for three weeks, then I’ve been back for three weeks trying to get back into the swing of things. It's tough to do anything apart from hibernate in Melbourne in winter!If you if you listen to my last podcast you'll know that I decided to take myself away for one of my bucket list travel locations, and so I spent 2 and a half weeks in Egypt and Jordan this May. This is a bonus/mini episode talking about my trip

On this week's episode we talk Maitri. What the hell is Maitri you ask? It’s a Sanskrit word. Sanskrit is an ancient language popular with spiritual teachings such as Hindism and Bhuddism. The meaning of the word maitri that tends to be translated as unconditional love and friendship with yourself. It’s acceptance of who you are. It’s about a loving kindness and support to yourself, by yourself.  It is how you would treat your best friend in the world, your children, your dog. Yet sometimes we find it hard to treat ourselves with the kindness, empathy and love that we show the other important beings in our lives. So how can we bring loving kindness to ourselves?

This week's episode looks at who we want to be during our separation and divorce, and how it impacts our experience of it and our life moving forward. Life has handed you a bombshell. It’s exploded in the middle of everything you thought was safe and true. And as with these types of disasters the rebuilding process doesn't create exactly the same environment as it was before . It's giving you a bit of a clean slate and what you do with it now is up to you.You don't need to fulfils society's expectations, you don't need to do what others think is right. You can take this and make it into a gift of rebirth. of starting afresh, of a clean slate. You decide what is built now. All previous previous bets are off.So who do you want to be? 

I started to do a lot of reading and research about recovering from infidelity. The trouble was that most of it was either to help repair a relationship, or prepare yourself for a new one. Which is fine for some, but not for me. Where was the stuff about healing just for my own sake? About letting go of the pain and anger just for the purpose of my own peace and wellbeing? I just couldn’t find it in the infidelity stuff.I then decided to branch out a bit from infidelity topics and move to more the self-help, self growth material. And there’s where I found my happy place. And the biggest one was the concept of above the line and below the line thinking. You may heard of it as victim vs victor mentality. This week we explore the concept of above and below the line thinking and the benefits of living above the line.As always, you can contact us on [email protected]

Rukus: A row, a commotion, a fuss, an uproar. A state or situation where people may be angry or upset.This week I talk about finding out and and I share my top tips for surviving the crisis. The key to all of this is TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF. I would also add that your kids are a very close second, but remember what they say about your oxygen mask in a plane – put yours on first before helping others, otherwise you are no good to anyone.I  welcome questions and feedback about anything we talk about, or anything you'd like to suggest we talk about. Contact me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you 

On our first episode I talk about deciding to save myself rather than my marriage.I liken my  emotional investment to  investing in shares in Super. I have a finite amount of time, emotion and energy to invest, and those investments can pay off at different rates. So what does it look like moving forward for me after infidelity? What do I choose to stop investing in, and what do I double down on?