When kids say “I’m stupid”: How to rebuild confidence and self-esteem

As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to hear your child say “I’m stupid.”Whether it comes after a tough day at school, a frustrating homework session, or a comment that hit the wrong nerve, that feeling can really stick. Dr. Kristin Carothers joins us to unpack where this kind of negative self-talk comes from. What’s happening beneath the surface? And how can adults respond in ways that build confidence — not pressure?For more on this topicOpportunity Gap: Supporting confidence in kidsHow to rebuild self-esteem in the new school yearWhat to say when kids are hard on themselvesTimestamps(02:50) How parents can respond to negative self-talk(06:08) What not to say to your child(14:30) Modeling positive affirmations at homeFor a transcript and more resources, visit the In It show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

What happens when we stop talking about kids with learning differences — and start listening to them? Kids are the experts in their own experience. When we truly listen, we all learn.Today we’re joined by 15-year-old Caris, a smart and determined teen with dyslexia, and her dad, Kevin. In this honest conversation, they talk about the everyday challenges and small wins of growing up with a learning difference. Caris shares what she wishes more people understood about dyslexia and how she’s found confidence in unexpected places. And she introduces “Through My Eyes,” a new digital experience from Understood.org that lets you step into her world.Want to learn more about her story? Explore Through My Eyes at Understood.org and help others see your child the way you do.For more on this topicSigns of dyslexia in high schoolSigns of dyslexia in grade schoolPodcast: What if I think my child might have dyslexia?Timestamps(01:50) Growing up with dyslexia(06:19) Facing stigma around learning disabilities(11:17) How “Through My Eyes” reframed their experience(13:06) Telling friends about her diagnosisFor a transcript and more resources, visit the In It show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

There’s a lot of talk these days — on social media and in parenting circles — about kids and therapy. But with all the noise, it can be hard to know what’s true and what actually applies to your child. Psychologist (and friend of the pod) Dr. Andy Kahn joins us today to clear up any confusion. He unpacks common questions and offers honest, stigma-free insights into how therapy for kids really works.For more on this topic:5 steps to take if you  think your child is depressedWhat is CBT?Questions to ask a therapistTimestamps:(04:42) How do you decide if therapy is necessary?(11:30) How do you talk to your child about starting therapy?(15:16) What if my child doesn’t want to go to therapy?(18:20) Will I know what’s happening in the sessions?For a transcript and more resources, visit the In It page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It’s hard to believe, but back-to-school is almost upon us! We’re bringing back a favorite episode to help kick off the school year. Hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek chat with DeJunne’ Clark Jackson — education consultant, parent advocate, and mom of two. She shares smart, doable strategies for setting goals and easing back-to-school stress. For more on this topic:Download: Back-to-school update for families to give to teachersDownload: Goals calendar for kids who struggle with planningMy kids have different strengths and challenges. Here’s how I set goals with them.Hear more from DeJunne’ in this episode about parent-teacher conferencesGet back-to-school tips from executive function coach Brendan Mahan in this episode about building executive function skills We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected] Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Summer’s in full swing and routines are out the window, which can be both fun — and frustrating!That’s why we’re replaying this episode with psychologist Dr. Andy Kahn, who shares practical, low-stress tips for surviving and thriving this summer. From managing screen time to making travel more manageable with kids who learn and think differently, this episode is full of smart, doable advice to help your family stay grounded while still having fun.For more on this topic:How to make a sensory travel kit for your child10 tips to help kids avoid travel meltdowns and sensory overloadListen to this episode of In It to hear more about summer campWe love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected] Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

We’re taking a quick summer break for the holiday weekend here at Team In It. Instead of a new episode this week, we’re sharing a great episode from our sister show, Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn. In this episode, Dr. Andy teams up with pediatrician Dr. Liz Harstad to discuss whether melatonin is safe for kids.  Check out Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn and related resources from this episode on the show’s page. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It’s no secret that physical activity can make a big difference for kids with ADHD. The hard part is figuring out how to give kids the time and space to move when they need to.In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Dr. Andy Kahn. Andy is a licensed psychologist and the associate director of behavior change and expertise here at Understood.org. He’s also the host of the podcast Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn.  He helps us take a good look at movement and why it makes such a difference for kids with ADHD. Tune in for easy tips to get more activity into your child’s daily routine.Related resourcesTeaching tip: My “go to” teaching technique for overstimulated kids What can I do if my child’s teacher takes recess away?How to get your child involved in sports7 tips for improving your relationship with your child’s teacherListen: How to get your child to try new thingsTimestamps(1:15) Exercise vs. physical activity(3:53) “Spending” energy to regulate(9:42) Ideas that encourage movement(10:20) How much time is the right amount of time(13:04) Afterschool sports and activities(16:29) The importance of recess(21:52) 504 plans, IEPs, and movement(22:18) Getting creativeFor a transcript and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected]. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

What happens when a child with learning and thinking differences gets labeled as the “bad kid”? In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Aleesha, a parent of five children, four of whom have an ADHD diagnosis. Aleesha has seen the effects of a child being perceived — and named — as the “bad kid.”She shares what it’s been like to navigate school systems and the painful experience of seeing her child misunderstood.We talk about why kids with ADHD and other learning differences are often mischaracterized. And Aleesha shares tips about what parents can do to support their children—and themselves—through it all.Related resourcesWhat should I do when my child says “I’m bad”?7 tips for improving your relationship with your child’s teacherFeeling socially isolated as a parent? You’re not alone8 things I wish people knew about parenting a child with ADHDWhat to do when your child is the bullyTimestamps (2:19) First sign of a “bad kid” perception(4:17) First parent-teacher conference(4:48) End-of-year experience(7:04) Important sign of a challenge with the teacher(11:27) Talking with your child who feels like the teacher doesn’t like them(12:39) Another perspective(15:25) Talking to teachers about the impacts of their words and actions(19:02) Advice for parents in a similar situation(21:50) Focusing on the positiveFor a transcript and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].  Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

In this episode, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek welcome Amy Lang. Amy is a sex educator who works with kids with learning and thinking differences. She is also the founder of birdsandbeesandkids.com. She helps the hosts tackle a tricky but essential topic: talking to kids with ADHD about sex. Here are just a few of the topics Amy talks about:Ways to talk about — and not talk about — body parts.Helping kids understand how to navigate these topics both inside and outside the home.Why these conversations are so important.Listen for tips on how you can make these talks comfortable and effective. It’s a thoughtful, honest conversation that will help parents, caregivers, or anyone wondering how to support kids as they learn about sex.Related resources8 ways to help teens with ADHD avoid dating trouble spotsADHD and sexSex, intimacy, and ADHDBirds + Bees + KidsTimestamps(1:39) When your child starts the conversation (7:00) The importance of social cues(9:21) Kids being well-informed(11:28) What age to start talking about sex with your kid(14:00) Using the real names of body parts(17:04) Talking to kids at different ages(20:00) Potential challengesFor a transcript of this episode and more resources, visit the episode page on Understood.org.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected]. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.This week on In It, we’re sharing an episode from another Understood podcast. It’s called Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson, and we’re big fans.When she first became a parent, Rae experienced a bout of severe postpartum depression. But at the time, there wasn’t much information about ADHD and women, let alone ADHD and postpartum mental health.Rae had heard that there was a link between ADHD and postpartum depression. But with a tiny baby to care for and a life to navigate, she had more pressing things to deal with. But the question kept bugging her: Does ADHD make you more likely to have postpartum depression?This week on Hyperfocus, Rae finally gets some answers to questions she has had for years. Her guest is Dr. Catherine Birndorf, an expert on postpartum mood disorders and co-founder, CEO, and medical director of The Motherhood Center of New York.Related resourcesCatherine’s book: What No One Tells You3 things I’m learning as a new mom with ADHD72 hours in the life of a working mom with ADHDParenting tips when you and your child have ADHDTimestamps(02:55) ADHD as a postpartum concern(09:47) PMADs: Not just the ‘baby blues’(14:21) What can struggling parents do?(21:07) Medication and pregnancyTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected]. Explore Through My Eyes today. Step into the world of three kids with ADHD, dyslexia, and dyscalculia — helping you see differently so you can act differently.Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give