329: Dirty White Gremlin

Celebs will always let you down, don’t claim to be native unless you have proof, the holiday party is almost here and increase pay for all teachers! Cats speak English, Pat the barber, above average social skills and let’s be ants. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

The holidays are here, eat some weevils, we love a mullet and Zach had a nice breakfast. Crystal had an oops, there’s something strange in the neighborhood, don’t flush honeydew and no more Campbell’s soup! For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Get your Holiday Hangout tickets, old episodes are crazy, Crystal loves dirty bears and grief is weird. Growing up without parents is hard, don’t gamble with Pat, some kids need hit and shoplifting class.  For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Earthquake! Happy Birthday Carolyn, we had a garage sale and no more pennies. Teeth are a luxury, Christmas is cancelled, churches aren’t walking the walk and art theft is so lazy. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Happy Birthday Will! Crystal is in disguise, daylight savings is whooping us and poor people can scam. We’re only good at war, push kids to learn phonics, Aileen didn’t get a fair trial and Crystal snuck off to the movies.  For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Marysville is different, we’ve been mispronouncing words, turn off automatic braking and we want women drivers. Pat made a calm down corner, ghosts are attention seeking, don’t shop this holiday season and what did YOU take for show and tell?  For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

The universe said Pat’s been too happy, people have been mean to Crystal, Blueface is possibly Pat’s soulmate and Peez dances to her own drum. Don’t knock b*tches at the gym, get your merch while you can, protect your neighbors and you can’t pray away mental illness.   For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Happy 7 years, Columbus Day my *ss, sunglasses at the gym and no more jean jackets? White dog poop, nostalgic snacks, some new bills and separate beds.  For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Teach your kids to keep their hands to themselves, Crystal had an awkward encounter, Peez taught herself piano and Happy Birthday Kandi! We miss churro cheesecake, don’t scam people with photoshop, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and we’re making ourselves impatient.   For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

Don’t copy Peez’ mom, Crystal misses Jnco’s, the daytime isn’t so bad and today is Orange Shirt Day. Spumoni is a top tier dessert, let people wear what they want, sometimes you have to tattoo your face and some celebrities don’t deserve anyone’s  attention.   For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com