The Substance - Guildcast Review

This is the 18th version of this Guildcast episode. It's cocky, arrogant, has a thirst for blood and killing, is a little bit horny, and always throws caution to the wind. Unlike the 17th version of this episode which was far more well mannered and reasonable.Ali, Ollie and Marlowe discuss the latest shenanigans on the big screen with this unique film idea starring Robert Pattinson, Mark Ruffalo and Steven Yeung to name a few. That's the only few I can name really.Poll question for today: Do you like the creepers?

I want everyone to know that this is only Nicholas Hoult's second greatest piece of work, only topped by his early performance as Tony in Skins.Much like Skins, Nosferatu is about someone who goes over to a mates house, eats and drinks whatever they provide, then falls into a pit of hallucinations, sweat, constant heart racing and the feeling of losing time and forgetting events. Nosferatu might be the local dealer.

How does it feel, how does it feel? To be without a home? To be in the Guildcast zoooonneee.Come take a step back in time with us as we follow young Bobby (Bob) Dylan in the swinging 60s. Set during the time when folk music was facing challenges like electric guitars and massive amps, and Bob was facing challenges like which of my two only girl friends shall I sleep with and take refuge with for a few hours.Timothée Chalamet plays the man himself in a split-ly decisive review from the lads today.

This episode will split itself in half, and then every 7 days when you come back to listen to it you'll experience a different version. The first version will be a bit more old and wise but not as good looking, the second version will be much younger, sexier and far more active. The first version might also go a bit gammy over time. Take your pick which you prefer, I know we certainly do, in this latest epsiode of Guildcast. Today we're reviewing one of the wildest and most mental films anyone's seen for a long time in The Substance, starring Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley. I hope you like the 80s, lots of blood and needles.

Do you like Russia? Do you like Russian women? Do you like Russian women strippers? Do you like Russian women strippers, partying hard, marrying rich young men, lots of action and violence and a dash of romance? Boy have we got the film for you. With an impressive $6m budget, this could almost be classed as a B-Movie, but it's actually really well done and is worth a watch. Didn't see it in the Cinema? Nah neither did we. But you can find it online *ahem* I mean, it's on Apple TV.

What have the Romans ever done for us? It's been 24 years since Gladiator hit the screens. Apologies for everyone that's been waiting for the sequel, Ridley clearly had other priorities but here comes Hanno to save the day in Gladiator 2. Or is he Lucius? Mescal & Pascal (Paul and Pedro) star as the main protagonists in this interesting sequel. Denzel Washington also becomes far more of a main character than you ever imagined. Watch in awe as the colliseum gets completely filled with water and sharks within a 24 hour period. Percy from Blackadder (Tim McInnery) makes a stellar appearance. Little Britain's Matt Lucas leads proceedings in the arena. What else, what else... Oh! The same song returns from the first movie, which was lovely. Enjoy!

Right then chappies, we're back in Middle Earth again! Have a Celebrimbor at this latest foray into the world of Sauron, Galadriel, Isildur etc. Gandalf... Theo is back too hurray! We love Theo... In this highly eventful and similarly fascinating follow up series, the rings start getting forged, power starts to spread, and Sauron gets his elvish gear on for the entire season. Not much else to say really, have a listen.

Carmy & the gang are back, or should I say Sydney at the gang, in what I like to describe as Season 2.5. Carmy has definitely taken a back seat this series, by basically doing the same thing as last season. Olivia Coleman returns, John Cena makes a cameo appearance (but you can't see him) aaaand the whole series waits with baited breath for the Chicago Tribune to review The Bear. Join Ali, Ollie and Marlowe as they chop, dice and blend this difficult third series of FX's The Bear.

"If I could describe this movie in one word, it would be pointless" - Ollie Shrimpton, 2024. The hills are alive with the sound of Joker. To be fair, his awesomely creepy laugh might be one of the best things about this movie, or at least the best thing that carried over from the first film. Also the way he smokes is still fantastic. Lady Gaga features as Harley Quinn, in this questionably irrelevant and potentially pointless Joker experience. Singing, dancing, smoking, and really long court scenes make up the vast majority of this sequel - to the one that came out a few years ago. We're split on our opinions, what did you think?

You'll be hugging eachother while watching a face hugger hug someone else's face, in Fede Alvarez's take on the latest in the Alien franchise. Cailee Spaeny (❤️) headlines the cast list as Rain, and that guy from Industry plays an android called Andy. Also Ian Holm returns from the dead to feature in the most questionable choice of CGI'd cameo in a long while. The Alien also returns, this time playing the Alien unlike the Alien it played in the first movie. Join Ali, Ollie, Marlowe and Dan as they peel back the egg on this mother of a podcast. You'll be bursting out of your chest to hear it. Uhhhh insert any other puns here. Cast expendable.