Tourist Stuff

Wanderlust is embedded into the human DNA. It is as much a part of us as thirst or hunger, and just as powerful a motivator. Humanity did not cross the Bering Strait because Asia ran out of space, we crossed because it was there. We spread across the world like a global pandemic, and now that we have airplanes, that pandemic has become airborne. Travelers traverse everywhere, and thus citizens of foreign lands need a place to put all these explorers. Just like airports have customs lines, and the Everglades has Alligator Alcatraz, popular cities have Tourist Traps. Some random, worthless artifact is given Can’t-Miss status and these groups flock to line-up and self-contain. But if your goal is to explore a new city, why waste time taking a selfie at the most photographed places in the world? Blend in with Mat and Veronique as we seek out new life and new civilizations by boldly going where everyone else already lined up for Tourist Stuff! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Tourist Stuff appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind has risen far above the nasty marshes and bubbling swamps of our natural beginnings. We have created order and society and cleanliness. And pleasant smells. Nature, on the other hand, is smelly. Our own bodies disgust us with their odors. So we made fragrant soaps and deodorants and eau de toilette. We created Time-Release-air-Fresheners and Bubblegum Vapes. But we still need our crops to grow and so we need fields covered in cow dung. So when we don’t like natural odors, but we want to decorate our parks in nature, we need to bring something natural and fertilizing into our pristine neighborhoods. Let’s dig a little deeper, with Mat and Veronique, as we break down the rotting decay of fresh Mulch! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Mulch appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Welcome to the Future. We are now past the Information Age. Not only because mis-information has taken over, but also because we have been surpassed. It was fun living in the Now, but we can no longer keep up. Language-Learning Artificial Slop is the new reality and make-believe productivity is moving faster than we can blink; yet meanwhile, our lives are a hectic chaos of never-ending tasks and catching-up to yesterday’s To-Do list. Ironically, incrementally handing our society over to the machines has left us more frantically burdened than before. When did we lose the future of flying cars for this future of Slack tasks? Pencil yourself in with Mat and Veronique as we skip lunch, breaks, and blinking in order to still fall behind on our Time Management! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Time Management appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind is a herding species. We thrive when we work in groups. Alone, a person would have to build their own shelter, forage their own food, sew their own clothes, and create their own streaming platform while writing and producing their own bingeworthy content. But together, we can spread that work around. The drawback is that if you didn’t build your own roller-coaster, then you have to wait your turn to ride someone else’s. But the National Attention Deficit is at an all time high, so how can we be expected to sit still in this militaristically rigid system of single-file waiting? Be patient, while Mat, Veronique, and Guest – Jack Utrata-Claridad – seethe and bemoan that enough is enough and decry the end of the Lines! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ Follow Jack on Insta: @jackutrataLearn more about Jack: jackutrata.comGet ready for 11 Blocks to Go: 11blockstogo.comAnd start following 11 Blocks to Go: @11blockstogo _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Lines appeared first on Mat Labotka.

We live in the computer age. Everything is computer. Communication happens through our instant messaging, banking happens through the ATM, groceries are ordered via app, and applying for jobs is HR portals. Gone are the days of firm handshakes and human interaction. Though, there remains one hospitable refuge. There exists one business model that pairs a live liaison with each human guest. When you go to a restaurant, it is a human that greets you and waits on your needs. But what happens when even that modicum interaction is split by a machine? Build an appetite with Mat and Veronique as we skip the appetizers and digest the other app the server brings to the table on that Waiters Device! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Waiters Device appeared first on Mat Labotka.

What was once spread-out nomadic tribes, Humankind has transformed into overpopulated, sky-scraping mega-metropolises. Progress has created super-city-states of civilization that clump humans together almost as tightly as explorers in OceanGate’s Titan Submersible. And with such a dense population, we create waste. While the computer-age technology has created a much brighter Times Square and faster Wall Street algorithms, waste management has not moved far beyond throwing garbage out our front doors. The steaming, repulsive heaps of sidewalk trash are a magnet for disease and rodents. And some of these filthy monsters, it turns out, are our neighbors. Trash talk with Mat, Veronique, and Guest – Marianne Goodell – as we dissect the putrid underbelly of human nature by sifting through our insufferable Curbside Garbage! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ Find Marianne on Insta: @marianne_goodellFind tickets and Info for ‘The Comeuppance’: Headwall Theatre Company _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Curbside Garbage appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind has developed an obsessive encyclopedia of rules, ordinances, and law. We thrive in discipline and orderliness. Laws dictate where we can go, how we behave, and exactly how inebriated we can be driving home. But we are also beholden to our nature. And the one Law of Nature is ‘Kill, or be Killed!’ But when we are good boys and girls, how can we scratch that killer itch? Tune into your sinful, guilty pleasure with Veronique and Mat as we indulge that baser instinct vicariously through the dulcet sounds of True Crime! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post True Crime appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind loves systems and order. We obsessively name and categorize everything in nature. We divided all of the branches of life into Species and Genus and Kingdoms. We plotted every element in the universe into a table of contents. We put the square block in the square hole. And in our kitchens, we stack the plates with the plates and the bowls with the bowls. Forks go on other forks and spoon nestle with other spoons. But there is one cupboard that is given to entropy. Chaos reins on the coffee cup shelf. There is no organization or stacking when no cup matches another in any dimension. Ponder this dilemma over a cup of coffee with Mat and Veronique as we confront our addictions, not to caffeine, but to the uncontrollable hoarding of coffee Mugs! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Mugs appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Healthcare is a vital part of our society. Just like access to food and water, healthcare is a necessary part of maintaining these fleshy avatars we call bodies. While hospitals and medical access may be a wildly mismanaged, robber-baron industry of government-sponsored organized crime, most of our healthcare starts at the home. Staying hydrated and choking down brussel sprouts is basic health maintenance. Self-care starts with avoiding Hot Pockets and Baja Blasts. Physical Fitness beats Physicals. But Ten Thousand steps is also wear and tear. What happens when healthy hurts? Rest and Recuperate with Mat and Veronique as we struggle through the misery of healing from Aches and Pains! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post Aches and Pains appeared first on Mat Labotka.

Humankind is a product of nature, and thus we are beholden to nature. Despite living in a world of caller-ID and screening-calls, when Nature calls we must answer. And that answer happens the same, every time. We use the toilet; a toilet that is has a pretty universally recognized shape and function. Everybody uses this apparatus multiple times a day, and so we must all be exceptionally well-versed in the operation of these simple artifices. But then why are they always labeled with warnings and remonstrations? Who keeps breaking the toilets? Hop a squat with Mat and Veronique as we struggle to decide what to flush down the toilet in loo of That Bathroom Sign! *Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble. _____________________________________ Support the show and become a Grumble Kid! Patreon.com/GrumbleGoatJoin the adventure in Mat’s novel!!! Amazon | Audible _____________________________________ Mat’s Play, ‘Gruff: an Origin Story’ Feb. 11th!Court Square Theatre in Long Island City: Theatre East _____________________________________ For more information or to share: GrumbleGoatPodcast.comGrumble Goat on Instagram | Facebook | TikTokFollow your hosts: Mat | Veronique The post That Bathroom Sign appeared first on Mat Labotka.