The Twelfth - "Potatoes"

The Twelfth: "Potatoes". Coming only 18 months following our last venture into cyberspace, Faither and I bring you our promised episode about football. Well, except it's actually about food. Stealing excerpts from Maw Broon's nutritious cookbook we make stomachs either rumble or turn with talk of pieces and dripping, finnan haddie, rabbit stew, stovies, and even something pretty rude called 'tickling trout'. We're glad to be back in your ears again so please let us know your own Glasgow food tales and check back soon (or in a few years...) for our next episode. About football?

The Tenth: "Rabbits". In this, the tenth instalment of our regular fortnightly podcast, Faither yaps about holidays in and around Glasgow. So as you can imagine, this involves stories about hunting for small change on the beach, skinning rabbits at scout camp, and, of course, saving up all year to afford a taxi ride to the train station. Nowt like today's expensive breaks to sunnier climates for him, no siree. Up there on his soapbox he'd much prefer the good old summer days of being chucked out the house at 9am and not allowed back in until teatime. Feel free to give us some of your own holiday memories at [email protected]. Thanks for continuing to listen, despite the content...

The Ninth: "Muscular". This one was supposed to be all about Glasgow's unfortunate tag as the "No Mean City", but as expected, we digress into the usual nonsense including the Burns Howf and the Muscular Arms, Maggie Bell and Stone the Crows, playing "jorries" and working out what "gird wi a cleet" means. Charlie gets corrected once again by our ever-vigilent listeners, and we yap about the only cinema in Glasgow that was located up a close. Don't worry though, we do manage to cram in a minute or two about the dark crimes and gangs of old, and Charlie even recalls with fondness the only time he was beaten up as an adult. So it all ends well really...

The Eighth: "Dizzy". In an embarrassing family meltdown of an episode, Faither takes us through his drunken exploits at the Majestic, the Locarno and various other haunts from ol' Glesca in the 50s and 60s, including what happened when the dance halls closed and everyone staggered into midnight mass. This one was supposed to be all about music though, so as usual, that guarantees that we stay on the subject for at least two minutes. Keep the emails coming into [email protected] and we'll try and prompt the auld yin to keep him on track next time...

The Seventh: "Beatstalkers". So after six episodes bursting with many droning tales of lacklustre 'lore in ye olde Glesca, Faither finally gets into his stride. This one marks the start of no doubt twenty shows about his life in music. We start off here yapping about Radio Luxembourg and the pirates of Caroline; we dance around the old Eglington Plaza and the Maryland Jazz Club; get out the old Dancette to play the dusty 45s and 78s; listen to Victor Silvester, Dean Ford and the Gaylords, and, well, a ventriloquist on the radio; and finally sit down before the TV to watch the 6.5 Special and reminisce about getting beaten up at school for defending Tommy Steele. Music to your ears? Erm...

The Sixth: "C'moangetaff". Out of the depths of silence and the choppy seas of disinterest, comes our new instalment of rambling Glasgow folklore, proving that after a truly unearned Summer break, we're finally back to work. And this one's all about ra graftin: going to the steamie and making up the coal fire in the morning, putting on your first pair of long trousers and a decidedly dodgy sweater, getting treated like a glorified slave at work, before getting fired for annoying the wife of the boss and ending the day scrambling back to yer mammy in the pitch blackness of the tenement. A grand day's work in Glasgow indeed. After all that, some might suggest another break would be a great idea!

The Fifth: "Peas". It's been a while, so to treat you all for waiting so patiently, this time around we've made sure to talk about the usual nonsense. There's a wealth of useless memories about eating mushy peas at the Barras, playing 'stage coaches' in a coalbunker, the magnificent toys you used to get for handing over rags in the street, why the Broons became the world's first reality series (way before those crazy Osbournes got in on the act), why Faither should have built his career on designing bikes, and there's even some introduction to future episodes where he'll try and convince you that he was the precursor to the Beatles. A welcome return? Err...

The Fourth: "Fleapit". Once again we run out of time yapping on about the street games of old in Glasgow. Maybe it's because we diverge into wandering tales of camping in Benderloch and faither's early romantic liasons (ahem...), but at least we manage to cram in some stuff like playing 'P or a K' and 'Red Car' in the street, the local boxing club in Townhead and going to the Saturday morning swimming baths before picking up a well-earned penny bag of broken biscuits from the local baker. What will really attract your attention however, is Charlie's living-on-the-edge story about keeping a notepad of the street's car licence plate numbers! We cap it all off with some chat about the cinemas of old like the Grafton and the Casino, but no doubt we'll spill all of this nonsense into the next one as usual.

The Third: "Sugarolly". This time around it's all about the street games in old Glesca. We hear all about the wee toerags wreaking havoc with the tenement folk tying their doors together with rope, catching hudgies at the BRS depot in Lister Street, being chased by Limpy Dan from the Kennedy Street playground, making what sounds to have been a very early poor man's version of soda stream drinks except with a particularly dodgy ingredient, and playing endless football through dinner which consisted of jeely pieces thrown down by the parents from the windows above. Ah yes, you might get your PS3s and your HD TVs nowadays, but if the kids of today were to listen to this episode, without a shadow of doubt they'd choose "kick the can" or "dreep the dyke" over all your fancy technology any day. Ahem...

The Second: "Coal". This one's all about Christmas and Hogmanay in Glasgow back in the day, and I think you'll soon come to the understanding via Charlie's fading memories about the festive period, that when he was growing up in the City, the real celebration was at the Bells rather than around the Christmas dinner table. He really tries his best to call up some recollections of the homemade toys and penny caramels, visiting the genuine Santa at the old Lewis's store in Argyle Street, and saving for some Italian treats at Christmas, but what becomes clear is that back in the 40's and 50's in Glasgow, the New Year parties were far more important, with the spinning of bottles until 8am, the first footing of all the tenement neighbours, the walking through the East End to find another bash, and the strange tradition of polishing coal... ...That said, the main revelation in this episode is actually the choice of faither's first record, but it's probably best to keep that one quiet. Have a great festive break on us and we'll see you in 2010!