EFR 921: Why You People-Please: Understanding the Fawning Trauma Response (Toxic Hope vs Reality) with Dr. Ingrid Clayton

This episode is brought to you by Strong Coffee Company, Supp Co, and WHOOP. In this episode of Ever Forward Radio, psychologist and addiction expert Dr. Adi Jaffe reframes addiction, compulsive behavior, and self-sabotage as intelligent coping strategies rather than personal failures. He explains why labeling people as "addicts" creates shame and traps identity, how early childhood and even preverbal experiences shape adult behavior, and why most habits don't change through awareness alone. Dr. Jaffe introduces his SPARO Behavioral Loop—stimulus, perception, activation, response, outcome—to show how emotions and bodily sensations, not events themselves, drive behavior. Together, they explore identity, responsibility without blame, growth mindset, emotional regulation, stoicism, belief systems, and why sustainable change comes from reshaping perception and nervous system responses rather than fighting behaviors directly. This conversation offers a compassionate, practical framework for breaking patterns and moving forward—without shame. Follow Adi @dradijaffe Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – Addiction Is Not Your Identity 02:00 – Why Calling Someone an "Addict" Causes Harm 05:10 – The Thing Is Never the Thing 07:30 – Coping Starts Earlier Than You Remember 10:00 – Attachment, Safety, and Early Nervous System Wiring 14:45 – Resilience vs. Disconnection 17:20 – It's Not Your Fault, But It Is Your Responsibility 19:50 – The Sphere of Control Framework 23:30 – Perception Shapes Reality 25:45 – Introducing the SPARO Behavioral Loop 29:15 – Why Awareness Alone Doesn't Change Behavior 33:00 – Emotional Menus & Coping Patterns 35:20 – Changing Beliefs to Reduce Triggers 38:40 – Stoicism, Detachment & Emotional Regulation 41:30 – Identity Change Without All-or-Nothing Thinking 44:50 – Becoming Someone Who Can Change 48:05 – Choosing Your Hard 49:30 – How to Know You're on the Right Path ----- Episode resources: 15% off organic coffee and lattes with code CHASE at https://www.StrongCoffeeCompany.com FREE supplement companion app at https://www.Supp.Co/everforward  $30 off physical activity tracker 5.0 at https://www.Join.WHOOP.com/everforward Watch and subscribe on YouTube Learn more at AdiJaffe.com

This episode is brought to you by LMNT, Audible and Strong Coffee Company. You've probably heard of the trauma responses fight, flight, and freeze — but there's a fourth response that may be shaping your life without you even realizing it: fawning. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Ingrid Clayton, PhD a clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and author of Fawning, to understand why people-pleasing, over-accommodating, and self-abandonment are not personality flaws — they're intelligent survival responses your nervous system learned to keep you safe. You'll learn how fawning develops when fight, flight, or freeze aren't available — especially in childhood, unequal power dynamics, toxic relationships, and work environments where your safety or stability feels at risk. You'll also discover how living in a chronic fawn response can quietly disconnect you from your needs, your voice, your body, and your sense of self. This conversation helps you recognize why "just setting boundaries" often feels impossible, why you may disappear in relationships, and why choosing yourself can feel terrifying even when you know something needs to change. Most importantly, you'll hear why none of this means something is wrong with you — you make sense. If you've been stuck in survival mode, waiting for permission, approval, or safety outside yourself, this episode will help you understand what's been happening beneath the surface — and how you can begin moving forward by reconnecting with who you truly are. Follow Ingrid @ingridclaytonphd Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – Introducing the "Fourth F": What Is Fawning? 02:16 – Why Fawning Is Not a Conscious Choice 03:40 – Power, Safety, and Why Fight or Flight Aren't Always Options 07:43 – Living in Chronic Survival Mode 09:27 – When Fawning Becomes Your "Personality" 12:09 – Empaths, Hypervigilance, and Nervous System Trauma 13:40 – Apologizing to People Who Hurt You 16:22 – Befriending Bullies as De-Escalation 20:29 – Gender, Power, and Why Context Matters 24:03 – Ignoring a Partner's Bad Behavior 26:43 – Toxic Hope vs Reality 28:27 – Presence as a Path Out of Fawning 31:24 – Reality as a Regulating Force 35:02 – Fawning in the Workplace & Overgiving 37:26 – Choosing Yourself for the First Time 40:29 – Becoming Who You Already Are 43:56 – Why "Just Set Boundaries" Fails Trauma Survivors 48:02 – Listening to Yourself as the Path Forward 51:12 – Writing Fawning & Seeing the Bigger System 55:06 – Somatic Tools to Regulate the Nervous System 01:02:27 – Health Costs of Chronic Fawning 01:04:03 – Self-Abandonment Explained 01:06:19 – What "Ever Forward" Means Through Trauma Healing ----- Episode resources: FREE electrolyte sample pack with any purchase at https://www.DrinkLMNT.com/everforward FREE 30-day trial of my favorite audiobook app at https://www.AudibleTrial.com/everforward 15% off organic lattes and coffee with code CHASE at https://www.StrongCoffeeCompany.com Watch and subscribe on YouTube Get Dr. Clayton's book "Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back"

This episode is brought to you by Audible, SuppCo and Momentous. What if the foods you believe are "healthy" are quietly driving chronic inflammation, hormonal disruption, and behavioral issues in children? Julia Putzeys is here to expose the truth about ultra-processed foods, misleading food labels, artificial dyes, seed oils, and chemical additives hiding in plain sight. Julia breaks down why front-of-package marketing is designed to mislead consumers, how certain ingredients are still legal in the U.S. but banned abroad, and why simply "hitting your macros" is not the same as eating real, nourishing food. We explain how food additives impact children's brain health, gut health, metabolism, and long-term disease risk — and how parents and everyday shoppers can take back control at the grocery store. This conversation will empower you with practical tools to read ingredient labels properly, make smarter food swaps, and protect your family's health without falling into fear or overwhelm. ----- 00:00 – The Biggest Lie the Food Industry Tells 01:15 – Why "High-Protein" Processed Foods Are Still Dangerous 03:41 – Seed Oils & Chronic Inflammation Explained 05:35 – Why Food Labels Are Designed to Confuse You 08:10 – Are Brands Intentionally Misleading Consumers? 10:45 – Why Front-of-Package Claims Mean Nothing 12:49 – Ultra-Processed Foods vs Real Food 16:02 – Ingredient Order & Label Red Flags 18:07 – Why Modern Bread Is So Dangerous 19:41 – Artificial Dyes & Kids' Brain Health 23:36 – The Top 5 Most Dangerous Food Ingredients 27:54 – High-Fructose Corn Syrup & Hidden Sugars 31:32 – Artificial Sweeteners & Gut Damage 33:56 – Why Europe Bans Ingredients the U.S. Allows 37:48 – Ultra-Processed Foods & Chronic Disease 42:23 – How Parents Can Protect Their Children 56:10 – Why Calories ≠ Health 57:53 – What Is the Trash Panda App? 01:02:12 – How Trash Panda Rates Ingredients 01:08:20 – Consumer Power vs Big Food 01:10:10 – Ever Forward ----- Episode resources: FREE 30-day trial of Audible Try Supp.Co to see how your supps stack up Male hormone support stack from Momentous, code CHASECHEWNING Watch and subscribe on YouTube

This episode is brought to you by Joi & Blokes, Fatty15, and Strong Coffee Company. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Will Bulsiewicz, MD joins Ever Forward Radio to explore why true healing goes far beyond food, supplements, and exercise—and into the nervous system, emotional health, and human connection. Drawing from his new book Plant Powered Plus, Will explains how inflammation is driven by an inseparable triad of gut microbiome imbalance, immune dysfunction, and a compromised gut barrier, while also revealing how chronic stress, unresolved trauma, loneliness, and circadian disruption can prevent the body from ever feeling safe enough to heal. This episode clearly explains the gut–brain–immune axis, the role of parasympathetic "safety" states, why PTSD and trauma leave measurable signatures in the gut, and how practices like sunlight exposure, breathwork, meaningful relationships, and spiritual purpose are not "woo"—but biology.  Follow Will @theguthealthmd Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – Introduction: Why You're Not Healing (It's Not Just Food) 01:30 – Inflammation, Strength & the Core Thesis of Plant Powered Plus 02:25 – 70% of the Immune System Lives in the Gut 03:40 – The Inflammation Trifecta: Dysbiosis, Gut Barrier & Immunity 05:10 – How Fast the Gut Microbiome and Gut Lining Can Heal 06:00 – 450,000 New Gut Cells Every Second 09:00 – Why the Body Wants to Heal (If We Let It) 10:00 – Morning Sunlight, Circadian Rhythm & Energy 11:30 – Gut Microbes Follow a 24-Hour Schedule 12:45 – Why the Immune System Is Active at Night 14:00 – Serotonin, Melatonin & Gut Repair 16:00 – Cortisol: When Stress Helps vs. Harms 18:30 – The Sympathetic Nervous System & "Berserker Mode 21:45 – How Chronic Stress Damages the Gut Barrier 24:00 – Trauma, PTSD & Inflammatory Disease 26:00 – Why You Can't Out-Diet Trauma 29:00 – Science, Pattern Recognition & the Mind–Body Connection 32:00 – Parasympathetic Healing: Safety, Rest & Digestion 34:00 – Breathwork, Meditation & Nervous System Regulation 36:00 – Human Connection as Medicine 38:30 – Loneliness, Mortality & Modern Society 43:00 – Why Meaningful Relationships Are Essential for Health 46:00 – Can You Be Healthy Without Deep Connection? 49:00 – Measuring Stress: HRV, Wearables & Inflammation 55:30 – Trauma, PTSD & the Gut Microbiome 58:00 – Healing Trauma and Healing the Gut Together 1:03:30 – Dr. Bulsiewicz's Personal Healing Story 1:09:30 – Reconciliation, Grief & Spiritual Healing 1:18:00 – Purpose, Faith & the Limits of Science 1:22:00 – Ever Forward ----- Episode resources: Get 50% off any diagnostic labs with code CHASE at https://www.JoiAndBlokes.com/chase Get an additional 15% off the 90-day starter kit of C15:0 essential fatty acids https://www.Fatty15.com/everforward Save 15% on organic coffee and lattes with code CHASE at https://www.StrongCoffeeCompany.com Watch and subscribe on YouTube Get Will's new book, Plant Powered PLUS Learn more at TheGutHealthMD.com

This episode is brought to you by Caldera Lab and WHOOP. Today we sit down with interior designer, TV host, and wellness advocate Sabrina Soto to explore how our homes profoundly shape our mental health, nervous system, relationships, and sense of identity. Sabrina shares her deeply personal journey—from growing up in chaos and creating a safe haven as a teenager, to landing her first HGTV role through a Craigslist ad—and explains why design isn't about trends or perfection, but alignment. This episode explores the emotional weight of clutter, how environment influences cortisol and stress, why small changes can create massive life shifts, and how designing your space is ultimately about designing the life you want to live—one intentional step forward at a time. Follow Sabrina @Sabrina_soto Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – Why Your Home Might Be Keeping You Stuck 01:21 – Sabrina's Daily Wellness & Non-Negotiables 04:36 – How Home Design Directly Impacts Mental Health 05:21 – Childhood Trauma, Chaos & Creating a Safe Haven 06:15 – Why People Dread Coming Home (and How to Fix It) 09:12 – Creating "Vignettes" That Support Your Best Life 11:00 – Why Sabrina Rejects Design Rules & Trends 12:13 – How Life Phases Shape Your Design Style 13:01 – Music, Culture & Identity in Home Design 14:14 – Using AI Wisely (Without Losing Your Intuition) 15:09 – The Craigslist Ad That Changed Everything 18:25 – Acting "As If" Before the Opportunity Arrives 21:01 – Why You're One Phone Call Away From Changing Your Life 24:30 – Cuban Culture, Perfectionism & Letting Go 28:39 – How Sabrina Scans a Room in the First 60 Seconds 30:16 – The 5-Minute Declutter That Lowers Stress 32:22 – How to Refresh a Room With $500 35:16 – 3 Cheat Codes for Instant Room Elevation 36:20 – Where People Waste the Most Money in Design 39:49 – Timeless Design vs. Trends You'll Regret 42:25 – Should Your Whole Home Match? 43:27 – What HGTV Doesn't Show You About Makeovers 47:06 – Designing a Home That Calms the Nervous System 49:29 – When a Bedroom Makeover Saves a Marriage 52:14 – How Your Environment Creates a Ripple Effect in Life 56:48 – Ever Forward ----- Episode resources: Save 20% on the best men's skincare with code EVERFORWARD at https://www.CalderaLab.com Get the WHOOP 5.0 activity tracker at https://www.Join.WHOOP.com/everforward Watch and subscribe on YouTube

This episode is brought to you by Timeline, Strong Coffee Company and Fatty15. In this episode of Ever Forward Radio, performance coach Natalie Hummel reframes what it truly means to be a high performer—arguing that excellence isn't built through discipline, talent, or mindset alone, but through nervous system mastery. Natalie explains how fear, pressure, and self-sabotage are not problems to eliminate but sensations to build capacity for, and why separating sensation from story is the key to performing with ease under stress. Together, we will explore identity, upper limits, resilience, flow states, and what high performance looks like in everyday life. This conversation offers a grounded, practical, and deeply human approach to performance—one rooted in presence, self-mastery, and the courage to feel what most people avoid. Follow Natalie @nataliehummelcoaching Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – What Is High Performance, Really? 01:10 – Pressure, Purpose, and Choosing Your Arena 03:40 – Is Life Happening To You or For You? 05:40 – Performance Mastery vs. Self-Mastery 07:50 – Fear, Ego, and the Nervous System 10:50 – Why Competition Really Means "Striving Together" 12:30 – Identity, Ego, and the Default Nervous System 14:50 – How Your Past Sets Upper Limits on Success 17:15 – Why Discipline Eventually Stops Working 20:10 – Revisiting the Places That Formed Your Nervous System 23:00 – Freedom From vs. Freedom To 28:45 – Signs of Nervous System Dysregulation 31:20 – Separating Sensation From Story 33:20 – What Resilience Actually Is 36:20 – How to Train Resilience (The Nightly Practice) 40:30 – Parenting as a High-Performance Practice 45:10 – Giving Up Discipline for Presence 47:50 – Expanding Capacity Under Stress 49:30 – Reframing Failure Without Identity Collapse 53:00 – Why You Must Acknowledge the Past (But Not Live There) 57:30 – Nervous System > Mindset 01:01:00 – Spiritual Bypassing and Wellness Culture Pitfalls 01:06:20 – Flow State, Ease, and Pressure 01:10:20 – Why Pressure Is a Privilege 01:14:15 – High Performance for Non-Athletes 01:18:30 – The One Practice That Changes Everything 01:20:20 – Ever Forward ----- Episode resources: FREE 3-day sample of MitoPure longevity gummies at https://www.Timeline.com/everforwardsample  15% off organic coffee and lattes with adaptogens and collage with no crash or jitters with code CHASE at https://www.StrongCoffeeCompany.com  Extra 15% off 90-day starter kit of C15:0 essential fatty acids at https://www.Fatty15.com/everforward Watch and subscribe on YouTube Learn more at NatalieHummelCoaching.com

In this expansive and deeply personal conversation, we sit down with Apostle Kathryn Krick to explore faith, spiritual authority, healing, and what it truly means to live a life "ever forward." Kathryn unpacks the biblical foundation of apostleship, the modern restoration of spiritual gifts, and her belief that healing, deliverance, and miracles are meant to be accessible today—not confined to Scripture. This episode examines demonic oppression versus possession, the power of words and faith in daily life, navigating wilderness seasons, and why gratitude and obedience are essential to sustained spiritual growth. Kathryn also shares her improbable journey from years of obscurity to global revival, offering a powerful reminder that progress isn't always visible—but obedience always matters. Follow Kathryn @apostlekathrynkrick Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:01 – Welcome to Ever Forward Radio Introducing Apostle Kathryn Krick and today's conversation 02:10 – What Does "Apostle" Really Mean? Biblical foundations of apostleship and modern ministry 05:45 – Why the Book of Acts Matters Today Modeling faith through healing, deliverance, and miracles 07:00 – When God Feels Silent Seeking God, faith, and personal responsibility in spiritual growth 09:45 – "Revival Is Now" Explained What's missing in modern Christianity—and what's being restored 12:00 – Belief vs. Experiencing God Why intellectual faith isn't the same as transformation 15:04 – Personal Faith vs. Church Community Why both are necessary for spiritual maturity 16:03 – The Power of God and Spiritual Authority How healing and freedom occur biblically 18:53 – What Do Miracles Actually Look Like? Mental, emotional, and physical healing explained 21:12 – Can Spiritual Power Be Misused? Humility, surrender, and responsibility in ministry 24:58 – Faith, Wilderness Seasons & God's Timing Why valleys are necessary for spiritual growth 30:43 – The Power of Words and Gratitude How mindset, confession, and obedience shape outcomes 35:03 – Understanding God's Love (Not Condemnation) Breaking free from religious performance 42:12 – Demonic Oppression vs. Possession A grounded explanation of spiritual warfare 46:00 – Anxiety, Healing & Spiritual Authority Rejecting lies and reclaiming peace 53:01 – How to Know If You Need Deliverance Signs of spiritual oppression and freedom 01:01:29 – Waiting on God vs. Taking Action Obedience before results 01:03:35 – From Obscurity to Global Revival Kathryn's viral breakthrough and ministry explosion 01:11:33 – Living a Life Ever Forward ----- Episode resources: Watch and subscribe on YouTube  

This epsiode is brought ot you by Quickbooks, Audible and Caldera Lab. What if the most important financial decision you ever make has nothing to do with investing, real estate, or your career—but who you choose as your partner? In this powerful episode of Ever Forward Radio, Chase sits down with attorney, financial expert, and author Pattie Ehsaie for a no-nonsense conversation about money, power, relationships, and financial independence—especially for women. Pattie breaks down why "never falling in love with potential" isn't cold, it's practical; why money remains the number one cause of relationship failure; and how financial independence is not about greed, but freedom. Drawing from her own journey as an immigrant, lawyer, and self-made financial authority, Pattie shares hard truths about hustle, mindset, modern dating dynamics, the "lonely male epidemic," stealth wealth, prenups, and why owning your financial future is the ultimate form of personal sovereignty. Follow Pattie @duchessofdecorum Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – Why Your Partner Is Your Biggest Financial Decision 01:35 – Meet Pattie Ehsaie & Her Core Philosophy on Money and Power 02:04 – "Never Fall in Love With Potential" Explained 04:10 – Dating a Broke Mindset vs a Broke Bank Account 04:56 – When You Support a Man, You Become His Mother 07:00 – Financial Red Flags Most Women Ignore 11:10 – The Money Talk: Credit Scores, Savings & Debt 12:09 – Why Money Is the #1 Reason Relationships Fail 13:33 – Why Men Fake Wealth (And Women Don't) 18:15 – What Happens When the Provider Loses Everything 23:20 – Why Financial Independence = Power 25:10 – Women Out-Earning Men & the "Lonely Male Epidemic" 29:18 – What's Wrong with Andrew Tate's Money Narrative 31:48 – How to Be a "Rich B*tch": The 5-Account System 36:28 – Why Starting to Invest Late Costs You Hundreds of Thousands 38:16 – Hustle vs a Broke Mindset 41:27 – Prenups, Assets & Protecting Your Future 42:53 – Women Who Did Money Right (Oprah, Taylor Swift) 44:36 – Fake Rich vs Real Rich (Why Housewives Go Broke) 50:13 – Pattie's Immigrant Story & Relentless Work Ethic 55:38 – Ever Forward ----- Episode resources: Get 30% off six months of Quickbooks 20% off men's skincare and haircare with code EVERFORWARD at Caldera Lab FREE 1-month trial of Audible Watch and subscribe on YouTube

This epsiode is brought ot you by LMNT, Strong Coffee Company, Legion Athletics and Fatty15. After healing from Hodgkin's lymphoma in her 30s, Elissa Goodman turned her personal health crisis into a lifelong mission: helping others prevent and recover from cancer through holistic nutrition and mindful living. In this episode, she opens up about her journey from stress-driven corporate life to deep healing through green juicing, plant-based eating, and inner work like yoga, trauma release, and plant medicine. Elissa discusses how trauma, inflammation, and our toxic environment create the "cancer terrain"—and how we can reverse it with simple, nutrient-dense habits and radical self-love. Her story is not just about healing cancer but transforming one's entire way of living. Follow Elissa @elissagoodman Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – The Current Cancer Epidemic 03:00 – Diagnosis at 32 & Discovering Juicing 07:00 – Taking Healing into Her Own Hands 11:00 – The Power of One Question: "Are You Happy?" 15:00 – Losing Her Husband & What Holistic Healing Taught Her 21:00 – Top Anti-Cancer Foods & The Inflammation Connection 28:00 - Cacao, Grief, and Plant Medicine as Emotional Healing Tools 33:00 - The Cancer Terrain: Internal Environment vs. Genetics 38:00 - Detoxification Basics: Sweat, Sleep, & Simplicity 43:00 - Myths About Juicing, Water Fasting, and Sugar ----- Episode resources: Get a FREE electrolyte variety mix with any purchase at https://www.DrinkLMNT.com/everforward Save 15% on organic coffee and lattes wiht code CHASE at https://www.StrongCoffeeCompany.com  Get an additional 15% off the 90-day starter kit of C15:0 essential fatty acids at https://www.Fatty15.com/everforward Get 20% off your entire first purhcase with code EVERFORWARD at https://www.LegionAthletics.com  Watch and subscribe on YouTube

This episode is brought to you by Joi & Blokes, Troscriptions, and Caldera Lab. In this episode of Ever Forward Radio, registered dietitian Ashley Koff, RD breaks down the truth behind GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy, reframing them not as magic weight-loss shots but as hormone replacement therapies that reveal how dysfunctional most people's "weight-health hormones" have become. Ashley shares how digestion, nutrient status, genetics, and modern environmental pressures diminish the body's natural ability to regulate appetite, cravings, metabolism, and fat distribution — and why GLP-1 drugs can offer clarity but not a cure unless the underlying issues are addressed. She dives into muscle preservation, the limitations of BMI, the importance of fat-mass vs. scale weight, the root-cause approach to sustainable weight health, and what the future of GLP-1s means for generational wellness. This is a powerful conversation that blends science, personal insight, and actionable strategies to improve metabolic health — with or without medication. Follow Ashley @ashleykoffapproved Follow Chase @chase_chewning ----- 00:00 – GLP-1 hype: weight loss, risks, and whole-body benefits 02:00 – What GLP-1 drugs actually do in the body 02:20 – Understanding "weight-health hormones" 03:00 – Why society is functioning with suboptimal hormones 12:00 – Why total weight doesn't matter — muscle, fat, and bone do 14:00 – BMI is broken and misleading 15:00 – Weight regain, muscle loss, and metabolism 17:00 – Genetics, survival traits, and appetite regulation 23:00 – Root-cause approach: digestion, nutrient status, vagus nerve work 26:00 – How GLP-1s validate hormone dysfunction 28:00 – Side effects like nausea and constipation explained 30:00 – Why digestive repair is essential for long-term success 33:00 – How GLP-1s quiet obsessive thoughts, cravings, and food noise 36:00 – Supplements that support GLP-1 and weight-health hormone function 38:00 – Hop extract research and natural "GLP-1 activators" 42:00 – Limitations of natural alternatives vs. true hormone replacement 1:12:00 – Glucose spikes, CGMs, and metabolic flexibility 1:27:00 – The future of GLP-1s and redefining "obesity" 1:28:00 – Generational weight health and epigenetics 1:29:00 – Final thoughts and Ashley's Ever Forward message ----- Episode resources: Get 50% off any diagnostic labs with code CHASE at https://www.JoiAndBlokes.com/chase  Try CALM and save with checkout code EVERFORWARD at https://www.Troscriptions.com/everforward  Get 20% off the best men's skincare with code EVERFORWARD at https://www.CalderaLab.com  Watch and subscribe on YouTube Get Ashley's book on Amazon