Father Ted Podcast S3E4 - The Mainland

The TOP FIVE EPISODES, as voted for by YOU, the listeners of Ecumenical  Matters. Lindsay Mitchell and Glenn Hamill take us through the  Contenders we picked throughout the run of the podcast and have been  voted on over two months by the public. Find out what fans think the best Father Ted episodes are, and let us know if you agree!

IT'S CHRISTMAS! So naturally it's Golden Cleric time on Craggy Island! Dirty Words members Colin Hassard and Ashley Manners get trapped with Ted and Dougal in the Largest Lingerie Department in Ireland. Mrs Doyle gets a new, mechanical nemesis and Jack prepares for his own awards.

Writers and producers Muireann McGinty and Dee Harvey dream big in the final ever episode of Father Ted!  😢 After talking Tommy Tiernan off a ledge at a priest's convention Ted is  seduced by visions of a glamourous life in America, but can he really  leave Craggy Island and it's inhabitants behind? The episode takes a reflective tone towards the end, and we discuss  Kevin Spacey's relative anonymity in 1998, the draw of Magic America and  Radiohead: depressing or not?

Kiel Cathers, lead singer of folk rock behemoths The Logues wards off  the huddled masses of Eoin McLove fans in this hilarious send up of  Daniel O’Donnell. Mrs Doyle is besotted when she wins a competition to have her beloved TV  host Eoin McLove visit her, but she's not the only one on the island  who wants to meet him. Dougal thinks he's very cheeky, Ted doesn't  approve of his poetry tastes and Jack waxes lyrical on the nature of  fandom. We also talk about treacherous male bonding games such as Eyeball  Chicken and Killerball, fainting Michael Jackson fans and false rumours  about Pope John Paul II.

LIVE EPISODE! We broadcast live from the Fenderesky Gallery on Belfast's North Street during Culture Night Belfast 2016 in front of an adorning audience and streamed to Facebook Live. All with the obligatory Craggy Island production values! After losing the bet to Dick Byrne in the Over 75s Football Challenge in the last episode, Ted has to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse to satisfy his forfeit. Dougal is on hand to document the kicking with photographic evidence, while Jack and Mrs Doyle have their own way of dealing with the world's most sarcastic priest.

Another Road Show! This time to Mexico. Well south of the (Ireland/UK)  border in Letterkenny. Ted is embroiled in a high stakes bet with his  hated rival Dick Byrne in the Annual All-Priests 5-a-Side Over 75 Indoor Football Challenge Match. Dougal's on a career break from being physio, in order to protect the  corner flags. Jack downs a full bottle of Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy  Snooze (banned in most European countries, so you know it's good), while  Mrs Doyle rounds up a firm of fellow football converts for the  terraces. We also discuss Amazon's toilet roll delivery service, lying in a  confessional and there's a host of expertise offered by self-proclaimed  Bikram Yoga Expert, Sean Treanor.

I don't believe it! Twenty episodes, so celebrate with actor Glenn  Hamill and Vince! The Islanders take a day trip to the Mainland, despite  Mrs Doyle's misgivings. Ted and Dougal spot Victor Meldrew from One Foot in the Grave, but learn  very quickly that you should never meet your heroes. A hasty exit sends  them to a sojourn into the Very Dark Caves, where they run into Noel  Furlong. Mrs Doyle argues over a cheque and Jack's eyesight deceives  him. We discuss the etiquette of Irish fighting, what made Bruce Willis a  miserable scrote and we have a very deep (and controversial) discussion  about the nature of offensive humour

PAT MUSTARD! Comedians Victoria E Armstrong and David Doherty-Jebb commandeer a milk float in this seminal episode. Randy milkman Pat Mustard has been getting Mrs Doyle all hot and  bothered, and Ted doesn't like it. He organises a sting operation and  the fallout has Dougal in charge of the milk run. Unfortunately, Pat has  left a little surprise on it if Dougal's speed goes below 4 mph. Jack  adopts a new pet brick that comes in useful later on. We also talk about Francophones misunderstanding Touts Out graffiti in  Belfast, the virtues and follies of Mrs Brown's Boys (The Greatest  British sitcom of the 21st Century according to Radio Times readers),  ageing ferrets and I officially respond to Graham Linehan's comments on me appearing in Father Ted tribute shows.

Actor, writer and improv artist Michael Keane is at the Edinburgh Fringe  Festival, cowering from the menace of the Beast in this terrifying  mystery episode. Ted's got in over his head, betting the entire heating allowance on  Chris winning the King of the Sheep 1998, but Chris artistic temperament  has been put askew by the howling of the beast. Everything is a bit  askew as Mrs Doyle finally gets to use the sheep tea, Dougal takes up  shoplifting and Jack temporarily feels the serenity of a leap year. We also delve into running the numbers at weddings, extreme artistic  temperament, Yeats quotes and Tropical Birds in South East London.  Fuckin' 'ell.

Belfast Comedy Writers Johnny Nicholl and Jonathan McCoy watch Ted  insult a sixth of the world's population when he tries to impersonate a  Chinese person. Dougal helps him come up with an idea, but he didn't  realise there were a lot of small ideas after. Mrs Doyle uses a novel  form of chiropractic after she falls off the roof and Jack develops agoraphobia. We also fill in the cultural and historical gaps between seasons two and  three, discuss the racism in Breakfast at Tiffanys, the Nazi marketing  machine, how the Irish kids TV show The Den delayed the news EVERY DAY,  and how hard it is to find black clothes (the regular shops shaft us  every time!).