Episode 3 - Part 2 - The Hoss

Lured into the ruined city of Hasath T'Pau by The Marsh Hag in the hunt for treasure, Lord Schlatt discovers The Marsh Hags skills for creating fashionable clothes out of human body parts and  comes face to face with an ancient King (who has been kept from death for thousands of years by a mysterious overseer) who divulges a shocking revelation about the future of  Hasath T'Pau.

Suffering from the perils of the Northern Marshes, notably allergic reactions and unavoidably stepping into marsh pools full of ooze, Lord Schlatt meets the Marsh Hag, a feral creature who speaks a language known as 'Olde Inkklish' who leads Lord Schlatt down an ancient path revealing the fate of a long lost civilization, welcome to Hasath T'Pau!

Join Lord Schlatt as he bounces upon the unreal waves and flies through the unreal skies on a trip to an unreal land and enter.....................THE CELESTIAL SEA!What will await them across this unreal landscape?Come to the Sunshine..............................................Welcome to Inkkland!

Lord Schlatt wanders aimlessly through the scorching desert wastes in the county of the Hookers Hoof, searching for a creature as old as time itself.This creature is as rare as a centaur wearing a bra. He is a magic man, a shaman, a poet, prophet and a priest, he is a tin whistle tootler and an avid conker player.Join Lord Schlatt as he asks questions no one else would think of and licks the back of a weasel.Come to the Sunshine.......................Welcome to Inkkland!

The Terrible sound of Fear? Job satisfaction guaranteed? Join Lazarus Bra as he comes face to face (sort of) with Tommy Tucker aged 8 and a half. What will Lazarus do next? will he move to the country? What's his terrible confession surrounding a laminated book of colour swatches? What is the worst nightmare you can face in the dead of night?Well as always, Listen on dear listener..............................

Join Lord Schlatt on his first assignment as he finds himself face to face with with Inkkland's own Bogeyman! What secrets will this masked midnight moocher reveal about his life in the darkness? Open your ears dear reader and listen on...……….listen on I tell thee!Oh! also be aware of that terrible disease called 'Cardboard Hand' - you can soothe the pain if you colour in the diseased area with wax crayons, but never use watercolour paints. That will just cause disintegration and loss of hand.

It’s the morning after the night before and Lord Schlatt awakes with “A bloody horrendous hangover”. As he sobers up, he comes to the realisation that the Festival of Feathers wasn’t “a couple of jolly drinks, light hearted conversation and in bed by 11pm” after all. What did he do? How does he solve his problems? Does he fight or flee?

Please join us here on The Island of Schlatt! Oh and here comes your guide for today's exhilarating excursion and the ruler of this fair Isle, Lord Schlatt! Allow him to introduce you to some of the Islands locals, inform you of the Islands history and spoon feed you a little taste of the preparations for tonight's celebration extraordinaire! The Festival of Feathers!BOW DOWN TO THE OWL FACED GODDESS!