​​​​Preparing for Divorce Month: Coaching for an Exit Strategy

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)The holidays promise cheer, yet for many families they amplify tension, unmet expectations, and quiet grief. We open the door to a calmer path by guiding clients through a practical, humane pre-decision continuum that reduces conflict before lawyers, filings, or ultimatums take center stage. Since January is known for a surge in divorce inquiries, we make the case that it should be known for something better: thoughtful coaching that stabilizes emotions and turns fear into informed choice.In this episode, host Tracy Callahan and guest, Dori Braddell, DCA Certified Divorce Coach and Director of Education and Development for DCA Canada, discuss divorce client preparation. They break the journey into three clear stages. First, Stay Well: we focus on stabilization and containment—sleep, nutrition, mindfulness, supportive connection—and name the SCARF triggers (status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, fairness) that fuel reactivity. We help clients separate emotional distress from decision urgency and build safety plans and communication guardrails. Next, Wait With Intention: a purposeful pause for values clarification and fact-finding. We reverse-engineer desired outcomes for parenting, housing, and cash flow; gather financial data and process options; and model neutral, non-adversarial language. We stay in lane ethically by sharing general information and framing precise attorney questions without offering legal advice. Finally, Go With Purpose: clients convert preparation into action with a scripted, respectful approach to “the talk,” a short-term financial buffer, interim housing choices, parenting status quo, and a calm first agenda that sets the tone for mediation and collaborative solutions.Throughout, we underscore leadership and empathy: the prepared spouse takes care to avoid blindsiding and offers space for the other to process. For fellow coaches and ADR professionals, we share practical readiness tips—open discovery slots, align messaging to “divorce decision month,” refresh templates, and protect your own container against compassion fatigue—so you can meet the January surge with clarity and heart. Preparation is peace. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague who needs a January playbook, and leave a review telling us which stage your clients struggle with most.To connect Dori through her role with DCA:Dori Braddell, DCA Certified Divorce Coach; Director of Education and Development for DCA Canada Email: [email protected] Dori's private practice: https://www.thedivorcementor.ca/about-me Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Divorce can knock the wind out of the protector identity many men carry. We explore what happens when that role shakes, why so many dads go silent, and how outcome-oriented coaching can turn conflict into a proving ground for empathy, clarity, and calm co-parenting. In this DCA Podcast episode, Tracy welcomes JH Harper, a DCA-certified ADR divorce coach and executive communication coach, who works primarily with fathers. Together we get practical about the tools that actually help: the three phrases men struggle to say without a caveat (“I’m sorry,” “I don’t know,” “I need help”), cognitive empathy through role-play, and the SCARF model for mapping triggers around status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness.We dig into the stories men tell themselves—about failure, blame, and masculinity—and replace them with questions that move things forward. What kind of dad do you want to be in five years? What experience do you want your child to have at big milestones when both parents share the room? Instead of staring at the obstacle, we focus on future mapping, micro-scripts for hard conversations, and agreements that stabilize kids’ routines. JH shares how fatherhood becomes a live wire to empathy and purpose, and why “combat is optional” can be a north star during negotiations and co-parenting.You’ll hear honest talk about the loneliness men face, shifting gender roles, and the subtle ways language in the divorce space can exclude fathers. Most of all, you’ll get a playbook for redefining strength as accountability, presence, and calm leadership. If you or a dad you love is navigating separation, this conversation offers a way to lift your eyes from the rear-view mirror to the horizon line of a healthier family dynamic.If this resonated, share it with someone who needs it, subscribe for more real-talk on divorce and conflict, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your feedback shapes future conversations.______________________________________JH Harper is a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach. A former journalist, he is also an executive coach who works with high-profile leaders globally on communications principles. He lives in New York City. To follow and connect with JH:Divorce Transition Coaching For Men: Website The Good Change: Substack newsletterInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoachfordads  Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)When love gets loud, decision-making gets messy. We sit down with family law attorney, mediator, and certified ADR divorce coach Lauren Fair to unpack why support from family and friends often feels good in the moment but can quietly anchor clients in rigid positions. From “my cousin got the house” jurisdiction myths to the rallying effect of loyal allies, we trace how emotional justice can overshadow long-term interests and derail reasonable agreements.Together we map a different path: neutrality, structure, and reality testing. Lauren shares how she helps clients separate feelings from facts, weigh costs against outcomes, and align choices with core values like stability for kids, financial sustainability, and healthier communication. We talk through funding dynamics—when a parent pays for services and expects a say—and how to reset power imbalances without blowing up negotiations. You’ll hear practical tools you can use immediately: boundary scripts that honor love while declining directives, somatic cues to sense whether a choice is grounded, and a simple framework for designing a support circle on purpose.For clients, treat advice as data and keep your hands on the wheel. For family and friends, the most loving move is to listen more and fix less. And for coaches, expect outside opinions to surface weekly and have a clear protocol ready to normalize the noise, test realities, and protect client agency. Love and protection matter, but clarity and resolution move families forward.If this conversation sparked insight, subscribe, share it with a colleague, and leave a review. Your support helps more professionals and families move from chaos to clarity.To reach Lauren and learn more about her practice, visit https://www.sensiblesplitdivorce.com/legal-team/lauren-m-fair/  or reach her by email at [email protected]  Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)The hardest part of co-parenting isn’t agreeing when things are calm—it’s knowing exactly what to do when life changes. We unpack how to design a parenting plan that functions like a family operating system: practical, plain-language, and built to reduce conflict before it starts. With DCA ADR Certified Divorce Coach Dori Braddell joining Tracy, we dig into the decisions that matter most—daily schedules, holidays, make-up time, communication, medical and education choices—and show how to write terms that hold up under stress.We talk strategy first. Rather than rely on boilerplate, we coach clients to identify intentions, predict “sticky bits,” and reality test assumptions about the other parent. You’ll hear how to draft three-tier proposals that show flexibility without giving away your core interests, how to keep Amy the amygdala buckled in during tough talks, and how to pick the right process for your situation: kitchen table conversation, mediation, collaborative practice, or a structured four-way. We share simple scripts and boundary tools that make saying no, countering, and pausing the conversation feel safe and effective.Then we get practical. Dori’s parenting plan builder gives clients sample clauses they can mark up and tailor. Visual schedule tools like Custody X Change help families compare 2-2-3, 2-2-5-5, and week-on/week-off rotations at a glance. We outline expense categories beyond basic child support—drivers ed, braces, mental health, extracurriculars, graduations, even grooming—plus thresholds for joint approval to prevent petty fights. Finally, we emphasize review paths and built-in dispute resolution ladders so parents can adapt as kids grow without running to court.If you’re a divorce coach, mediator, or parent navigating separation, this deep dive will help you create a plan that is clear, fair, and truly usable. Subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review telling us the one clause you wish every parenting plan included.To contact Dori, visit her personal practice website at https://www.thedivorcementor.ca/about-me  or reach her at her DCA email at [email protected] Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)What if the missing piece in most divorce processes isn’t another document or courtroom strategy, but a steadier, more prepared client? Tracy goes deep on the questions coaches ask most—how to define our role, hold firm boundaries, and position divorce coaching as an essential part of modern alternative dispute resolution.We start by drawing a bright line between coaching, therapy, and legal work, then show how that clarity protects clients and strengthens outcomes. From there, Tracy shares practical scripts for redirecting legal and clinical requests without losing rapport, and explains how referrals build trust with attorneys and therapists. You’ll hear why coaching functions as the first tier of ADR—stabilizing emotions, clarifying goals, and training low-reactivity communication so mediation and collaboration actually work.For new coaches, Tracy maps a grassroots growth plan: speak to real pain points, offer community workshops, collaborate with mediators and attorneys, and use authentic content that sounds human, not salesy. We also tackle high-conflict dynamics, teaching tools for nervous system regulation, boundary clarity, documentation with intention, and reframing interactions as moments of leadership rather than battles. Finally, we look ahead: growing standards, stronger certification norms, deeper integration on divorce teams, and technology that increases access while preserving the craft of conflict coaching.If you care about elevating this profession—with integrity, clarity, and measurable impact—this conversation is your playbook. Listen, share with your ADR partners, and help us build a future where divorce coaching is recognized as the bridge from reactivity to readiness. Enjoyed the episode? Please follow, rate, and leave a review, and send any questions you have to [email protected] Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Ten mentoring rounds don’t happen by accident—they happen because mentorship works. We sit down with mentor and certified ADR divorce coach, family mediator, and co‑parenting specialist Carolyn Jacobs to unpack how structured labs turn theory into confident practice, why the “week five slump” is a turning point, and what shifts when coaches stop chasing answers and start asking sincere, judgment‑free questions. If you’ve ever felt stuck between frameworks and real clients, this conversation offers a practical roadmap and a dose of relief.We explore the laboratory of mentorship—observe, practice, reflect—where risk is safe, feedback is specific, and humor keeps the room open. Carolyn shares the dance from counting steps to feeling the music, and we expand on a useful analogy: the curriculum is the map; clients are the weather; mentorship is the simulator where you test your gear before the storm. That framing helps new coaches spot activation, set boundaries, stay neutral to outcomes, and build a container strong enough to hold conflict, grief, and big emotions without losing presence or ethics.Then we move to the next, often-missed step: case consultation. Mentorship builds skill and confidence; consultation nourishes and sustains them over time. We lay out why peer consults prevent blind spots—especially for seasoned coaches who have seen “this kind of case” before—and how listening to newer voices keeps perspective fresh. Carolyn explains how consultation becomes an on‑going quality assurance system for ethical decisions, complex dynamics, and professional growth. We close with what mentoring teaches the mentor: accountability, sharper standards, and a deeper sense of community impact.If you’re ready to grow—from first sessions to lifelong practice—consider joining a DCA case consultation group or exploring our certification and advanced programs. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague who could use a lift, and leave a review to tell us your biggest coaching breakthrough.Connect with Carolyn Jacobs at Ally in Divorce: https://www.allyindivorce.com Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)The loudest voice in divorce is often the one inside your head—the story that explains everything your ex does and why you’re “right.” We dig into how confirmation bias narrows your view, fuels conflict, and drains families, and we show a better path: shifting from case-building to problem-solving with tools you can use today.We start by naming how adversarial systems reward selective evidence and turn parents into opposing counsel in their own lives. From emails read in the worst light to kids’ struggles being used as proof, bias escalates stress, legal fees, and the sense of moral certainty that keeps you stuck. Then we pivot to what actually helps: future-focused questions, validation without villainizing, and the move from positions (“I want the house”) to interests (“I need stability and financial security”). You’ll hear practical reframes, co-parenting communication tweaks, and real examples that replace blame with clarity and choice.For professionals—divorce coaches, mediators, therapists, and attorneys—we offer a blueprint to interrupt bias at the intake question, honor emotions without fueling grievance, and design processes that lower costs while protecting kids. For parents, we highlight simple, child-centered habits that rebuild trust and keep decisions grounded in what matters most. The punchline is simple: being right won’t raise your children or heal your nervous system; building a livable future will.If you’re ready to trade adversarial autopilot for collaboration and calm, press play. Then share your biggest reframe, subscribe for more grounded guidance, and leave a review to help more families find their way forward. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)What happens when a country makes mediation free for every separating family—but removes the preparation that makes it work? We dig into New Zealand’s bold FDR shift with Mediator and Divorce Coach Nikki Bould, unpacking the real-world impact of funding cuts, waitlists, and the shortage of child inclusion specialists. From the outside, “free” looks like progress; inside the system, parents are queued up, dysregulated, and often walking into high-stakes conversations without the skills or context to succeed.We walk through the practical trade-offs: why even a short prep window can change outcomes, what child-inclusive practice adds to parent decision-making, and how coaching complements therapy by building forward-focused skills when emotions run hot. Nikki shares on-the-ground insights from mediators and family lawyers, highlighting where families stall, why some head straight to court after a failed mediation, and how a coaching-led approach can reduce escalation and make every professional’s job easier. We also explore a Kiwi-specific vision for parenting coordination—interdisciplinary, culturally aligned, and designed to keep agreements durable and kids at the center.If you care about child well-being, equitable access to justice, and practical tools that actually move families forward, this conversation offers clear next steps. Learn how early coaching can stabilize parents, how to translate a child’s voice into better plans, and what advocates can do to build bridges across law, mediation, and mental health. Subscribe, share with a colleague who supports separating families, and leave a review to help more people find these tools.To contact Nikki Bould:[email protected] or [email protected] Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)Ever wondered what's truly driving the most difficult divorce cases? Fear might be the hidden force behind excessive legal fees, ongoing conflicts, and harmful decisions that impact families for years to come.The fears inventory is a powerful but often overlooked tool in the divorce coach's arsenal. As divorce coaches, when we help clients identify and address their deepest concerns—about conflict, finances, and parenting—we transform their ability to navigate the process. Fear doesn't always announce itself clearly. Instead, it manifests as controlling behavior, conflict escalation, perfectionism, or complete shutdown. Most tellingly, it appears as decision paralysis, where clients believe they're being strategic when their nervous system has actually thrown them into fight-flight-freeze mode.Through techniques like validation, exploring emotional undercurrents, using a future self lens, externalizing fear, and building body awareness, coaches can help clients move from fear-based to values-based decision making. This isn't about eliminating fear entirely—it's about putting it in the backseat so it's not driving the divorce process. When we help clients distinguish between what they can and cannot control, we reconnect them with their agency during a time when helplessness often takes over.The real magic happens when clients can align their decisions with their values instead of their fears. This transformation builds not just a better divorce outcome but long-term emotional resilience that serves clients well beyond the signing of final papers. Are you helping your clients identify what's keeping them up at night? If not, you might be missing the most powerful intervention available in your coaching toolkit. Join us to discover how addressing fear changes everything in the divorce coaching journey. Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)What can a children's fairy tale possibly teach us about divorce? As it turns out, quite a lot. The story of the Three Little Pigs offers a surprisingly perfect framework for understanding how different approaches to divorce preparation yield dramatically different outcomes.Some clients rush through their divorce process, making quick, reactive decisions—building with "straw." They might retain the most aggressive attorney they can find out of anger or fear, or just try to "get it over with" because they're exhausted. Others put in a bit more effort—the "stick" builders—talking to lawyers, downloading checklists, maybe reading a book or two. But they often miss the deeper emotional preparation, conflict pattern awareness, and values clarification that truly matters.The wisest approach? Building with "bricks"—taking time to assess the landscape, understand the risks, and plan for resilience. This means assembling the right team (attorney, financial specialist, therapist, and yes, a divorce coach), getting clear on values and goals, developing communication skills, and learning emotional regulation. When the inevitable "wolf" comes—whether that's court conflict, custody challenges, or financial hurdles—this brick foundation stands strong.As divorce coaches, we help clients slow down and shift from crisis thinking to strategic planning. We serve as the quarterback of their professional team, helping them engage the right specialists at the right time in the most effective ways. We aren't just offering emotional support (though that matters too); we're strategists, thinking partners, and often the only person in their life who sees the whole picture rather than just one component.The difference between merely getting through a divorce and going through it well lies in this brick-by-brick approach—intentional, informed, and aligned with long-term wellbeing. When you work with clients who are panicking, remember the pigs. Are you helping them rush toward a straw solution, or are you guiding them to build something that will truly protect them when the winds of change start blowing? Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.comInstagram: @divorcecoachesacademyLinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academyEmail: [email protected]