Unfair Funfair

Diddy Dick and Diddy Dom have boarded the 15.32 to Milton Keynes, following a red hot tip off that Samuel L Jackson is going to visit his aunt. After being chased out of First Class for having No Class, they take on the stewardess in a game of Tea Time Slamdown and visit a very noisy Quiet Carriage, but if they’re going to reach Jackson it’s going to require a full on Hollywood action sequence that it’s a shame you can’t see!

Diddy Dick and Dom are at the funfair. They’ve been told that David Walliams is visiting.

The Diddies have gone intergalactic as they broadcast live from a space station orbiting planet earth. They’ve been given a top tip that star Star Wars star John Boyega is up there right now getting ready for a new role. This is the perfect chance for Dick and Dom to annoy people in a completely different galaxy with their inane trivia and collection of Star Wars memorabilia before trying to get a scoop on what’s next in the franchise. It all goes wrong when a game of ‘What Does This Button Do?’ sets off an emergency sequence.

Diddy Dom has dragged Diddy Dick to the Diddy National Theatre for a star interview with Helena Bonham Carter. It turns out this is because he’s hoping to audition for a part in the Midsummer Nights’ Dream that she’s directing. He secures an audition by the simple process of it being open casting, so with a little help from wardrobe supervisor Bruno Tonioli – and a great deal of hindrance from Diddy Dick – Diddy Dom gets the chance to show HBC his Bottom. He’s gonna blow it.

The Diddies have parked their ice cream van on Diddypool Beach (free parking, luvvie!) to enjoy the sea, sand and slots, and also nab an interview with Benedict Cumberbatch who’s here getting away from it all. Which includes getting away from them, in a high speed donkey chase and a Punch and Judy disguise, before finally collaring him for a game of Sherlock Holmes Under The Hammer. Their perfect seaside day ends as the tide comes in and floods the van, shouldn’t have left the hatch open!

Diddy Dick and Dom are on the hunt for another celebrity interview – this time it’s Bear Grylls! He’s on a one man expedition in the Arctic. He’s going to be the first man to reach the South Pole single handed. Or so he thought. Diddy Dick and Dom have smuggled into the back of his one man sled and have munched their way through his rations. He’s going to get the surprise of his life when he finds them. Especially as his one man expedition is now a one man and two Diddy expedition – even more special. Unfortunately Bear isn’t too happy and wants them gone. In a tense game for the right to the sled, Bear loses and Diddy Dick and Dom head off for the pole. They’re going to be the first Diddies ever, and as for Bear, well, he’s good at surviving isn’t he?

It’s time for another podcast, but Diddy Dom can’t get out of his Saturday job at the local supermarket CostaBomb. No matter, Diddy Dick will bring the podcast to him, which is why we find ourselves broadcasting live from the store room of Costa Bomb while Diddy Dom tries to convince his boss Brenda that he’s just spending an inordinate amount of time looking for a particularly difficult to find flavour of Pot Noodle for a tricky customer. After all it’s the CostaBomb slogan – The customer is always there!

It’s time for another podcast, and Diddy Dom is determined to make sure they don’t get interrupted in their broadcast by broadcasting from somewhere no one would DARE interrupt them – a lion’s den in the local safari park. Dom knows the regular keeper and has borrowed a couple of hats, they just have to do a couple of jobs while they’re there and no one will be any the wiser. And while he’s right, no human would be brave enough to stop them, the lions have other ideas.

The Diddies are coming in your ears from 30,000 feet – from First Class, no less! Diddy Dom’s really impressed until he realises that Diddy Dick has got them work experience as stewards, they’re at everyone’s beck and call until they disable all the call buttons. Diddy Dick’s found out that Brie Larson, Captain Marvel herself, is on this plane and it’s their chance to get an exclusive interview – if everyone will just stop pressing those ruddy buttons every five flipping seconds. Get your own pretzels, lazybones!

It’s time for another podcast, and Diddy Dick has snuck the Diddy Pod into the men’s changing rooms at Wembley Stadium – the England squad are practising today, it’s their chance to surprise them (no kidding) and get an interview with the captain. Diddy Dom doesn’t know the first thing about football, good job Diddy Dick’s a real know it all.