165. Food, the Nervous System & Navigating Conflict Without Losing Yourself, with Luis Mojica

What if the food you ate today already decided how much conflict you can handle? I sat down with Luis Mojica, Somatic Educator, Certified Holistic Nutritionist, and author of Food Therapy, to talk about something most of us have never connected: the direct link between what we eat and how safe or threatened our nervous system feels. We get into his framework of food as stimulant, depressant, or balancer, and how understanding that shift can change your relationship to stress entirely.From there, the conversation opens into something even bigger: conflict. Luis shares his own story of growing up in an intersex body and facing years of bullying and harassment, and how that experience shaped his life's work in helping people move through disagreement and division without shutting down or attacking. We talk about "over couplings," the difference between being triggered and actually being unsafe, and practical tools for staying present in conflict, whether it's with a partner, a family member, or someone on the opposite side of a political divide. This is a rich, generous conversation, and one I think a lot of us need right now.Connect with Luis:https://www.holisticlifenavigation.com/the-bookhttps://www.instagram.com/holistic.life.navigation/?hl=enPodcast: www.holisticlifenavigation.com/podcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@holisticlifenavigationWORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"Your food, literally every few hours, gives your body the ability to handle things that normally would overwhelm you, or it will create more overwhelm in your body." - Luis Mojica"You're not responsible for what gets triggered in me. You're responsible for your words. But what gets triggered in my body is mine to tend to." - Luis Mojica"The more capacity you have, the less you'll get triggered. You'll disagree, and you'll have preferences, and you'll be like, I don't like that, but you won't get triggered." - Luis Mojica"It's literally discerning the difference between discomfort and threat." - Luis Mojica"When you get really comfortable with conflict and you have more capacity for it, you're not triggered. You end up doing more." - Luis Mojicafood and nervous system, somatic nutrition, food therapy, conflict transformation, nervous system regulation, trauma and conflict, over couplings, trauma healing, polarization, political conflict, holistic nutrition, somatic healing, trigger vs threat, deep within podcast, Luis Mojica 

Two years ago I went through what I can only describe as a dark night of the soul. Divorce, financial loss, estrangement, war in the countries I am from, and the slow drifting of family. And recently — something has shifted. A profound sense of aliveness has returned to me that I had not felt in a very long time. In this episode I want to talk honestly about how I got here, because for those of you with complex trauma and dysfunctional family dynamics, this is not a story of one day everything was fine. It is a story of layers dying, of shame being felt all the way through, of co-regulation, somatic resources, and the moment I decided I would not allow my childhood to rob me of my life. I also share what I have been doing practically — dancing, nature, breath, sound and movement — and why aliveness is not something you can force, but something you come back to through the body. WORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"The point of being alive is to feel aliveness. If I don't feel alive, what is the point of going through everything we go through?" — Marina"I will not allow my childhood dysfunction to rob me of my legacy. I will not allow anything in my life to rob me of my life." — Marina"On the surface, so many overachievers look really good. But on the inside there is very deep pain — and they don't feel like they can just pause and take in life." — Marina"Feeling the pain from a place of safety means you have enough capacity and space in your body to be with painful things — and know it is okay." — Marina"You deserve to feel good. You deserve the lightness. You deserve to feel great on this planet merely because you exist." — Marinasomatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, complex trauma, dark night of the soul, shame healing, inner child work, emotional regulation, self trust, burnout recovery, survival mode, people pleasing, perfectionism and trauma, aliveness and joy, co-regulation, disconfirming experiences, embodiment, deep within podcast, Marina Triner, somatic coaching 

In this episode I sit down with Colette Fehr, licensed psychotherapist, couples therapist, and author of The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love, whose 2025 TEDx talk Secrets of a Couples Therapist was selected as a TED Editors' Pick and whose work has been featured in The New York Times, Oprah Daily, and The Wall Street Journal. Colette makes such a compelling case for why avoiding conflict is not keeping the peace — it is costing us our relationships, our sense of self, and our emotional freedom. We talk about the neurobiological reason hard conversations feel so dangerous, what a healthy apology actually sounds like, how to identify your needs when you have spent years not having any, and how to soothe your inner child before you ever say a word to someone else.This conversation is going to change the way you think about conflict — and I think you are going to feel that shift in your body as you listen.Connect with Colette:www.colettejanefehr.comwww.instgram.com/colettejanefehrBook: www.thecostofquiet.comSubstack: www.colettejanefehr.substack.comPodcast: www.insightsfromthecouch.orgWORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"Conflict might just mean someone stepped on an old wound — and now you have the opportunity to heal, to be known more deeply, and to feel more connected." — Colette Fehr"Your voice deserves to be spoken. Your needs matter. We get sick physically and mentally when we are not clear and honest." — Colette Fehr"It is never about the dishes. It is about the old wounds, the insecurities we carry inside. We are all, as human beings, afraid of abandonment and rejection." — Colette Fehr"Vulnerability naturally invites vulnerability. We have mirror neurons — when we come forward this way, people start to open up and be on that same channel without even thinking about it." — Colette Fehr"How you talk to yourself first sets you up for success. You have to tend to your inner child before you communicate with anyone else." — Colette Fehrsomatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, hard conversations, attachment healing, inner child work, emotional regulation, relational healing, self worth, people pleasing, self abandonment, codependency healing, self compassion, conflict and connection, secure attachment, boundaries, deep within podcast, Colette Fehr, cost of quiet, couples therapy 

Every once in a while you speak to someone whose story just shakes you to the core. Brian Pennie is a former heroin addict turned doctor of neuroscience and psychology, a lecturer at Trinity College Dublin, an author, an award-winning TV presenter, and the founder of Change is Possible. He lost 15 years of his life to addiction before a near-death seizure became the moment everything shifted — and what followed was one of the most profound awakenings I have heard anyone describe. In this conversation we talk about surrender, the fear of anxiety versus anxiety itself, breathwork as a daily practice, the paradox of connection, and what it means to find your other self through the greatest challenges of your life.I recorded this intro with an open heart and I think you will feel that as you listen.Connect with Brian:http://www.brianpennie.comhttps://www.instagram.com/brianpennie78/https://www.youtube.com/@brianpenniephd1073WORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"I fundamentally believed I needed drugs to be able to live in the world. Changing that belief — that anxiety is just information, and I have a tool to work with it — changed everything." — Brian Pennie"Surrender is not passive. When you're stuck in the mud, you don't stay stuck. You surrender to the reality of it — and then you ask what you can do about it." — Brian Pennie"Be true to your wonderfully weird self. You'll attract what you need and repel what you don't." — Brian Pennie"Saying no is trading popularity for respect. When I say yes to that thing, I am saying no to something else — and that has been the biggest tool for me." — Brian Pennie"The greatest gift I have ever been given has been the trauma and the addiction — because it gave me the joy, the awareness and the mindset I have today." — Brian Pennietrauma healing, nervous system regulation, somatic healing, addiction recovery, surrender and healing, breathwork, inner child work, emotional regulation, self trust, burnout recovery, survival mode, attachment healing, connection and co-regulation, embodiment, neuroscience and healing, anxiety healing, deep within podcast, Brian Pennie, change is possible, complex trauma 

In this episode I sit down with Wendy Behary, one of the world's leading experts on narcissism with over 30 years of experience, founder of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey, and author of the international bestseller Disarming the Narcissist, selected by Oprah Daily as one of the top books on the subject and now in its third edition translated into 18 languages. Wendy cuts through the myths that flood the internet around narcissism, explains the real difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder, and shares what she has learned from three decades of sitting in the room with both narcissists and the people who love them. We talk about when to stay, when to leave, what healing actually looks like for a narcissist, how to build your healthy adult self, and how to regulate your nervous system when you are living in close proximity to someone deeply volatile.This is one of the most clear, grounded, and genuinely rare conversations I have had on this topic,and I learned an enormous amount.Connect with Wendy:https://www.instagram.com/donsanddivashttps://disarmingthenarcissist.com/https://www.schematherapytrainingonline.com/p/empathic-confrontation-wendy-beharyhttps://courses.schematherapytrainingonline.com/p/empathic-confrontation-wendy-beharyWORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"It's not your fault that you are the way you are — but it is your responsibility, if you want to be responsible, to work on this." — Wendy Behary"You don't have to be angry all the time to justify your position. The best place we can get ourselves to is solid, steady conviction." — Wendy Behary"Narcissists don't sit there plotting to hurt you. They are acting in defense of their ego — and they will run you over to protect it, but that is a different thing." — Wendy Behary"When you're in your healthy adult mode, what would that part of you say about this? That's always the question I bring people back to." — Wendy Behary"The grandiosity is a masquerade. It is covering the shame. All of it is a compensation for feeling deeply insecure at the core." — Wendy Beharynarcissism, trauma healing, nervous system regulation, somatic healing, narcissistic abuse recovery, attachment healing, schema therapy, inner child work, emotional regulation, relational healing, people pleasing, self abandonment, codependency healing, self worth, healthy adult self, trauma bonding, complex trauma, deep within podcast, Wendy Behary, disarming the narcissist 

If you've ever sat across from someone you care about and felt your body go on high alert, unsure whether you're in danger or just remembering what danger used to feel like, this conversation is for you. I sat down with Amy Fiedler, Certified Trauma Support Specialist and relationship educator who has helped more than 2,000 clients worldwide understand how past trauma continues to shape their relationships, to talk about hypervigilance: how to recognize it, how to work with it, and how to finally tell the difference between an old wound and a present-day reality.Amy and I get into how relational trauma quietly pulls us toward what's familiar instead of what's good for us, how to identify the values that can actually guide our choices, and what it really takes, beyond a quick "I'm sorry," to repair trust after rupture. This one is honest, practical, and full of permission for anyone who's ever been told they're too much.Connect with Amy:https://amyfiedler.com/https://www.instagram.com/amythelifecoach/https://www.tiktok.com/@amythelifecoachhttps://www.threads.com/@amythelifecoachWORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"What's familiar seems safe in our heads, but familiar and safe are not the same thing." - Amy Fiedler"You are never asking for too much. Unless you're asking for something like a hundred thousand dollars a day, in terms of our emotional needs, that's very different." - Amy Fiedler"The minute you catch yourself eliminating the ands, I want more communication, and I'm okay if I don't always get it right, that shows you growth." - Amy Fiedler"We don't fully heal and move on to the next thing. It's a part of you. It's created what you want now. So lean into that." - Amy Fiedler"If they don't know why they did it or said it, there's no chance at them changing it. There's none." - Amy Fiedlerhypervigilance, relational trauma, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, attachment healing, self trust, boundaries, codependency, relationship values, survival mode, somatic healing, inner child healing, self worth, apology and accountability, trust rebuilding, emotional regulation, trauma informed relationships, deep within podcast, Amy Fiedler 

In this episode I sit down with Dave Nelson, author of The Tao of Flow and performance coach to C-suite executives at Fortune 500 companies, whose work sits at the intersection of ancient Taoist wisdom, modern neuroscience, and elite performance science. Dave shares his own burnout story — the migraines, the exploding phone, the 2500 staff and the moment his body finally said enough — and we talk about what it actually means to balance the yin and the yang in your life, why most people never experience flow state even once, and how being regulated in the nervous system is the real foundation of high performance. We also get into breathwork, meditation, the magic of doing nothing, and why playfulness is not a luxury but a biological necessity.This one surprised me in the best way — deeply practical, honest, and full of things I needed to hear.Connect with Dave:https://taoofflow.ai/Instagram.com/davenelson.officialWORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"High performance is yin and yang. We all think it's all yang — but the mastery of flow, peak performance and longevity is being able to dance between the two." — Dave Nelson"The real secret of flow state is being able to relax in the most tense moment. That is where peak performance actually lives." — Dave Nelson"Most people live rushed and agitated and overthinking. And being stuck in the head — that's the hardest one to fix. Everything else is easy." — Dave Nelson"You want to be flow-ready every day — with a playful, regulated nervous system. That is level one. Being able to stay relaxed when you're triggered is level two." — Dave Nelson"Yin should be our natural state that we navigate through life from — and we enter short periods of yang when needed. Most of us have that completely backwards." — Dave Nelsonburnout recovery, nervous system regulation, flow state, somatic healing, trauma healing, yin and yang, high performance, breathwork, emotional regulation, survival mode, self trust, embodiment, inner child work, Taoism and wellness, stress and the body, regulation and productivity, deep within podcast, Dave Nelson, Tao of Flow, parasympathetic nervous system

In this episode I sit down with Lauren Ohayon, creator of the Restore Your Core method and a renowned yoga and Pilates instructor with over 25 years of experience who has helped more than 10,000 women reconnect with their pelvic floor and core when nothing else worked. We talk about why the pelvic floor is so much more than what we have been taught, why Kegels are not the answer, what completing a stress cycle actually means and why it matters, and how so many women are empowered and yet completely disconnected from their own pleasure and sensation. Lauren also busts some of the biggest myths around orgasms, vibrators, and what a healthy pelvic floor actually feels like — and shares one of the most grounding personal stories I have heard on this podcast.This one is rich, funny, deeply educational, and long overdue.Connect with Lauren:https://restoreyourcore.com/www.instgram.com/thelaurenohayonWORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"You can't be safe anywhere if you're not safe in all of you. All of you needs to be known to you, felt by you, to really have true agency, embodiment and safety." — Lauren Ohayon"The human brain is designed to get us through the day. But the human body needs to complete the stress cycle — and those are two very different things." — Lauren Ohayon"We have raised such empowered women who know everything about sex but know nothing about pleasure. And those are not the same thing." — Lauren Ohayon"A tighter pelvic floor is not what we're after. The idea that tighter means healthier is a myth — and it's doing a lot of harm." — Lauren Ohayon"Embodiment is going that layer in where you're not just performing with your body — you are your body. You've become the object you're working with." — Lauren Ohayonsomatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, pelvic floor, embodiment, stress cycle, pleasure and sexuality, women's health, inner child work, emotional regulation, attachment healing, self trust, body based healing, sexual trauma healing, burnout recovery, survival mode, deep within podcast, Lauren Ohayon, restore your core, somatic coaching 

In this episode, I sit down with Michelle Chalfant, holistic therapist, life coach, and creator of The Adult Chair model, whose podcast has surpassed 11 million downloads and whose work has helped thousands of people heal codependency, emotional wounds, and relationship patterns at the root. Michelle shares her five-pillar methodology for living as a healthy adult — covering how to own your reality, build self-compassion, feel your emotions, work your triggers, and set boundaries that actually stick — and we go deep on narcissism, codependency, why we keep attracting the same people, and what it actually takes to change the signal we're putting out. She also shares practical tools, free resources, and one of the funniest and most grounding stories I have heard in a long time.This one is rich, practical, and full of permission to do this work in a way that actually makes sense.Connect with Michelle:https://www.theadultchair.com/https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfantFree Course: https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/z2vYXUwr/checkout Adult Chair Book: https://courses.theadultchair.com/the-adult-chair-book WORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support: https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinatriner.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinatriner.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinatriner.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinatriner.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinatriner.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinatriner.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/marinatriner/ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"Codependency is an identity we form when we're younger. Other people become our oxygen to exist in the world — and we don't even know we're doing it." — Michelle Chalfant"No one can trigger you. You are triggered because you have an unconscious belief inside of you that's being activated by them." — Michelle Chalfant"When you can say I wonder why this is happening for me — not to me, for me — you pivot out of the victim seat and into empowerment." — Michelle Chalfant"Boundary scripts do nothing if you don't feel worthy. You've got to set boundaries chin down — fully embodied, believing what you're saying." — Michelle Chalfant"Self-compassion is the Kryptonite to shame. You have to reach for that voice, cultivate it — it is a conscious choice." — Michelle Chalfantsomatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, inner child work, emotional regulation, narcissism, codependency healing, people pleasing, attachment healing, self worth, self compassion, triggers and trauma, relational healing, boundaries, adult chair, embodiment, survival mode, burnout recovery, deep within podcast, Michelle Chalfant 

In this episode I want to talk about something that sits at the heart of so much relational pain for complex trauma survivors — needs. Specifically, why the needs we crave the most are usually the ones that were never met in childhood, why that creates a desperateness that can push people away, and how we end up in a cycle of repressing our needs until we finally explode. I share the distinction that has changed everything for me and for my clients: the difference between expectations and standards, and why one comes from a wounded child place and the other comes from a grounded, secure sense of self. This one is practical, personal, and I think it is going to land somewhere deep. WORK WITH ME 1:1:❥Softening into self- 3 month 1:1 with Whats App Support:https://marina-yt.mykajabi.com/offers/PAWQhZHu❥❥1:1 Coaching with me: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfWcZM5s9c2OjOLwoGMI5jE6rh_JAzjN2d_vCtuVe7e3pVGxw/viewformDOWNLOAD FOR FREE:Stay or Go: 5 Clarity Questions to Reconnect with Your Inner Knowing: https://marinayt.com/stay-or-go-guideAttatchment Practice: Discover the actual blocks beneath the surface so you can actually have the deep intimacy you crave: https://marinayt.com/attachment-practice Connect & Ground: 10 Incredible Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation: https://marinayt.com/connect-and-groundAlive & Aligned: 7 Embodiment Practices For Self Connection: https://marinayt.com/alive-and-alignedTrigger to Rooted: A step by step process of working with your triggers: https://marinayt.com/trigger-2-rooted VIEW MY COURSES & RESOURCES:https://marinayt.com/resources CONNECT WITH  ME:Follow me on Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/marina.y.t⁠⁠ Subscribe to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@marinatriner Top Episode Quotes:"Just because you have a need, you're not needy. It's not the need itself — it's the energy behind the need." — Marina"A need is just a need. It's like a desk. Is this desk too much? I don't think so. It's just a desk." — Marina"When we again and again abandon ourselves by saying that's okay, I don't need that — we've already left the relationship. We're already gone." — Marina"Expectations come from a child place that says I need an adult to meet me or I won't survive. Standards come from inside yourself — they are yours." — Marina"Because I feel this loyalty to myself that I am going to get this need met no matter what — I don't linger in desperation. I just know." — Marinasomatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, complex trauma, inner child work, emotional regulation, attachment healing, self trust, needs and boundaries, people pleasing healing, self abandonment, relational healing, codependency healing, secure attachment, standards vs expectations, embodiment, survival mode, burnout recovery, deep within podcast, somatic coaching