220: John Eldredge: The Wounded Boy Inside Every Grown Man | Adam's Failure Is Still Destroying Men Today

Website: johndeloney.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/johndelony/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JohnDelony/Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@johndelonyYoutube Channel:  @TheDrJohnDelonyShow  I don't say this lightly — I finished this book in a single day. Dr. John Delony's Building a Non-Anxious Life is one of the most practical, honest, and genuinely helpful things I've put in front of the men who follow Brave Co. And before I even started asking questions, I had to be upfront with John about something: anxiety hasn't just been an academic topic for me. It's been my life. From OCD as a kid that I couldn't name, to coping in ways I'm not proud of, to a full nervous breakdown — I've spent years clawing my way out of a hole I didn't fully understand until much later. That's exactly why this conversation matters so much to me.Dr. Delony has two PhDs, has worked in mental health for decades, and somehow manages to take the most complex stuff about how our brains and bodies work and make it simple enough to act on. In this episode, we unpack what anxiety actually is — not a disease, not a character flaw, not a broken brain — but a smoke detector. A signal. Your body working exactly the way it was designed to work to get your attention about something that isn't right in your world. We talk about the ticker tape of shame that runs under most men's lives, why so many high-achieving guys are secretly falling apart, what it means to actually love yourself, and why you absolutely cannot do this alone.Dr. Delony also walks us through his six daily choices framework — Choose Reality, Choose Connection, Choose Freedom, Choose Health and Healing, Choose Mindfulness, and Choose Belief — and we get into the ones that hit me hardest personally. If you're a man who has ever felt like you're behind, like you're not doing enough, like no matter what you accomplish it still doesn't feel like it's working — this episode is going to stop you in your tracks. Go grab the book. Take the anxiety test at johndeloney.com. And stay brave.Chapters:00:00 – Jason Gets Personal About His Own Battle With Anxiety07:02 – Your Body Isn't Broken — It's Working Exactly as Designed14:05 – We've Built a World Our Bodies Can't Survive In21:07 – What Anxiety Actually Is28:09 – The Ticker Tape Lie35:12 – The Real Cheat Code42:14 – The 6 Daily Choices49:16 – Freedom, Health and Healing, and the Power of Mindfulness56:19 – Why Self-Actualization Is a Myth1:03:21 – What Are You Really Worth?CONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Connect with Michael: https://michaelkoulianos.org/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelkoulianos/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichaelKoulianos1/Youtube: https://studio.youtube.com/channel/UCBKurdZlFEMaLdwxSYMRNAwI'll be honest — I almost didn't record this episode the way I did. Because it required me to sit across from one of my closest friends and one of the most gifted men I know when it comes to the presence of God, and admit that I've been struggling. Struggling to feel connected. Struggling to cultivate that place with the Holy Spirit that I know I'm supposed to have — especially after walking through five weeks of watching my mother-in-law die of cancer. That's not an easy thing to say as a pastor. But I said it anyway. And what Michael gave me back was one of the most practically powerful and spiritually deep conversations I've ever had on this podcast.Michael Koulianos leads Jesus Image, a church and global movement, and there is genuinely no one I know who flows in the presence of God the way he does. In this episode, he walks us through his personal morning prayer routine — two hours, early, consistent for 20 years — and breaks down exactly what it looks like: silence, Bible reading from Genesis to Revelation looking for Jesus the whole way, worship, and a prayer list he's been building for years with names being crossed off one by one. But more than the mechanics, he talks about what it means to feel God's presence not as an emotional high but as a continual awareness. And he talks about mourning — why giving yourself permission to grieve is actually the door that opens to the Holy Spirit's comfort.We also get into the real cost of leading a movement, the false sense of responsibility that burns leaders out, what God is actually doing on the earth right now, and why the cross isn't just the starting point of the Christian life — it's the whole shape of it. If you're a man who's been running on empty spiritually, or you've been grinding so hard you've lost the thread of why you started, this episode will recalibrate you. Carve out the time to watch the whole thing. It's worth every minute.Chapters:00:00 – Welcome: Jason Gets Honest07:15 – Little Ezra, Grief, and Why Mourning Opens the Door14:31 – Sensing vs. Feeling21:46 – Inside Michael's Morning Routine29:01 – Prayer Lists, John Eldridge, and Hearing God's Promises36:16 – How to Find Jesus in Every Page of Scripture 43:32 – The Hardest Part of Leading a Movement50:47 – Burnout, Boundaries, His Church Doubling While Michael Couldn't Speak58:02 – What God Is Doing on Earth Right Now1:05:17 – Living on His Mission, the Cross-Shaped Life & Closing PrayerCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

This week's Brave Co podcast is a moment I've been waiting to share with you guys — John Eldredge live from our BraveCo conference last year, and I'm telling you, this one carries weight. John takes us all the way back to Adam in the garden and shows us how the original failure of masculinity — passivity, the failure to engage — is still being passed down through every generation of men. He unpacks the fig leaf every man wears, why what you meet when you meet a man is rarely his true heart, and how the poser inside of us is quietly keeping us from the life God designed us for.John gets vulnerable about his own story — growing up as the only son of an alcoholic father, the trips to the river that ended, the police station ride home in absolute silence, and the vow he made as a teenager that he would never trust anyone. He talks about the wound every boy carries, the two questions every man is secretly asking — am I loved, and do I have what it takes — and how the way those questions were answered in our childhood is still shaping who we are today. If you've ever wondered why you medicate with work, alcohol, sex, or constant achievement, John explains it with a clarity I haven't heard anywhere else.The back half of the episode moves into one of the most powerful guided prayer experiences I've ever sat in. John walks every man through inviting Jesus into the wounded places, forgiving the people who hurt us, breaking the agreements we've made about ourselves, and letting the older us finally bless the younger boy we've been ashamed of for years. This is sacred ground. Sit with it. Don't rush it. If this episode meets you in a deep place, share it with a man in your life and start marking your calendar for next year's BraveCo conference, June 21–23 in Redding, California. Subscribe, rate, and review — and stay brave.Chapters:00:00 — Jesus, I Want My Whole Heart Back07:29 — Adam's Failure and the Birth of the Fig Leaf14:58 — Masculinity Is Strength on Behalf of Others22:27 — Love, Validation, and the Father's Voice29:56 — The Police Station and the Vow That Shaped a Life37:25 — Raising Boys and the Bestowal of Manhood44:54 — Naming Your Wound and What You Believe52:23 — A River Runs Through It and the Lost Father59:52 — Jesus Asks, "Where Do You Need Me?"1:07:21 — Blessing the Younger Boy Inside YouCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

This week on the Brave Co Podcast, I'm getting personal about something that's been stirring in my heart for the last eight months — the role of a man as a watchman, a priest, and a contender in prayer. I'll be honest with you, I've never thought of myself as a prayer warrior in the same league as men like Lou Engle or Watchman Nee, but God has been pulling me into a deeper place. After a lunch with a friend who is genuinely a man of prayer, I started making small shifts — five minutes here, ten minutes there — and watching what God was doing in real time. This episode is me inviting you into that same stirring.I walk through the four roles every man is called to step into — priest, prophet, king, and warrior — and zoom in on what it means to be a priest who goes to God on behalf of his family. We look at Isaiah 62, Ezekiel 22, Psalm 106, and the story of Moses literally changing God's mind on behalf of a rebellious nation. The truth is, God isn't lacking power. He's looking for men who will take ownership, men who will stand in the breach, men who refuse to let their families, their churches, and their cities go unprotected. That's you. That's me. That's our actual role.I share a story from my childhood about falling asleep under the chairs at my dad's Friday night prayer meetings while men like Bill Johnson and Danny Silk contended in the room, and how that model is still shaping me today. I talk about the Businessmen's Revival in America and why I believe God is waking men up right now to do the same thing in this generation. If you've been passive, distracted, or unsure where to even start, this episode gives you a simple challenge — just five minutes. Start there, build the habit, and watch what shifts. Subscribe so you don't miss the next drop, and head to braveco.org for hats, gear, and more.Chapters:00:00 — A Time When Masculinity Is Shamed02:15 — A Lunch That Stirred Me to Pray04:29 — Priest, Prophet, King, and Warrior06:44 — What a Real Watchman Actually Does08:59 — God Found No One to Stand in the Gap11:13 — How Moses Changed God's Mind13:28 — You Are a Royal Priesthood15:42 — Falling Asleep Under the Prayer Chairs17:57 — The Businessmen's Revival and Your Five Minutes20:11 — A Prayer Over Every Man ListeningCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

This week on the Brave Co Podcast, I'm doing my absolute favorite thing — going live with you guys and tackling the questions you don't want to ask out loud anywhere else. We covered some heavy ground, from a husband who feels triggered by his wife's silent attitude, to a stay-at-home dad of five wondering if he's hit his ceiling, to a man wrestling with whether he's truly hearing God's voice about a big move. I tried to give each guy real, practical tools — not Christianese platitudes — because that's what we men actually need to grow.A few themes kept rising to the surface as we worked through these conversations. Conflict resolution is a learned skill, not a personality trait, and most of us never had it modeled for us. The culture of your home is something you build on purpose, not something that just happens to you. And when it comes to hearing God, I'm convinced more men are paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong than are actually missing His will — because we serve a Father who's kind, not a trickster waiting for us to mess up. I shared the exact framework I use when I'm trying to make big decisions, and how I keep moving forward without spiritualizing my own passivity.We closed with a powerful conversation with my friend Alejandro who's about to plant a church in Washington while caring for a wife who's hurting. I unpacked the three needs every woman has — to feel safe, seen, and known — and gave practical, doable steps any husband can start using this week to hit that target. If you want to lead your home well, this episode is loaded with tools. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss next week's drop, and head over to braveco.org if you want to check out our gear and resources.Chapters:00:00 — Welcome to the Live Q&A05:24 — Conflict Is a Learned Skill, Not a Personality10:47 — Invest in Your Marriage Like You Mean It16:11 — A Stay-at-Home Dad Hits the Wall21:34 — Optimize Before You Escape26:57 — How Do I Actually Hear God's Voice?32:21 — Green Lights Until God Says Stop37:44 — Called to Plant a Church, Wife in Pain43:08 — Stop Solving, Start Validating48:31 — Build the Culture, Hit the TargetCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

This week on the BraveCo Podcast, I sat down with one of my closest friends, Richard Gordon, for a conversation I've been wanting to have for a long time. Richard is on our executive team at Bethel Church, and over the years I've had the privilege of watching him grow from a son in our house into one of the strongest fathers I know. We dug into the journey of moving from "what can I get?" to "what can I give?" — that quiet, often invisible shift that turns boys into men and sons into fathers.We got real about marriage, parenting, and the things nobody warns you about — bedtime battles, sensory struggles with our kids, co-sleeping, and the seasons where you feel like you're failing even when you're showing up. I shared what it was like walking my daughter Edy through years of dysregulation after my mother-in-law passed, and Richard opened up about how God keeps inviting him deeper into leadership through his family first. We also talked about what I call "the noble drug" — the way work and ministry can quietly become an escape, even when it looks valiant from the outside.If you're a husband, a dad, or a leader feeling pulled in a thousand directions, this conversation is for you. My prayer is that it gives you permission to make your family your number one team, to be led by vision instead of need, and to remember that the seasons that feel the hardest are often the ones you'll look back on as the most sacred. Hit subscribe so you don't miss next week, and check out our new gear at braveco.org. Love you guys.Connect with Richard: https://richardgordon.org/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/richardgordon_/Chapters:00:00 — Welcome Back & Meet Richard Gordon03:24 — From Son to Father: The Mindset That Changes Everything06:48 — How God "Tricked" Richard Into Leadership10:14 — Jesus as Lord AND Friend: Leading Your Kids Without Losing Connection13:38 — Bedtime, Routines & Why Connection Regulates Everything17:04 — Walking Through Edy's Sensory Journey & Our Hardest Season20:28 — Co-Sleeping, Emotional Safety & Building a Bubble at Home23:54 — Your Family Is Your #1 Team (And Why That Matters)27:18 — Led by Vision, Not by Need: The Noble Drug of Overworking30:44 — Your Greatest Assignment & Final EncouragementCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Website: https://www.dadawesome.org/In this episode, I sit down with Jeff Zaugg, host of the Dad Awesome podcast and author of Dad Awesome, to talk about what it really takes to become an intentional, healthy, and present father. Jeff shares the story behind his new book, the lessons he has learned from years of conversations on fatherhood, and why every dad needs more than good intentions to lead his family well.We talk honestly about the moments we have missed it as dads, the anger, pain, passivity, and unprocessed wounds that can come out on our kids if we do not bring them into the light. Jeff shares a powerful story about a snowball that broke trust with his daughter, and we discuss how repentance, self-awareness, brotherhood, and humility can bring healing instead of shame.This conversation is for every dad who wants to grow, lead, and love his family with greater purpose. If fatherhood matters to you, it is worth investing in. Grab Jeff’s book at dadawesome.org and start building a plan for the kind of father you want to become.Chapters:00:00 Welcome Back to Brave Co03:21 The Weight of Becoming a Dad06:42 The Snowball That Broke Trust10:03 When Dads Lose Control13:24 The Grenades Fathers Carry16:45 Healing Pain From the Past20:06 Self-Awareness and Brotherhood23:27 Growing as Sons Before Fathers26:48 Loved, Learner, Leader30:09 Why Dads Need a PlanCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

In this episode of the BraveCo Podcast, I sit down with Martin West, a former fighter pilot turned leadership coach, to unpack what actually makes teams succeed or fail. After spending several days with him working on our own team, I realized something that challenged everything I thought I knew about leadership. It’s not just about having a great plan. It’s about what’s happening beneath the surface of your team dynamics.We dive deep into the concept of vulnerability-based trust, constructive conflict, and why most teams settle for artificial harmony instead of real progress. Martin shares powerful lessons from his time flying F-18s, where every mission was scrutinized and feedback was constant. That level of accountability shaped how he now helps leaders eliminate dysfunction, build trust, and create environments where people can actually grow.If you lead a team, a business, a family, or even want to become a better man, this conversation will challenge you. The biggest takeaway is simple but hard to accept: the leader is always the limit. But the good news is, once you become aware of it, you can start building a culture where truth, feedback, and growth become the norm—and that changes everything.Connected with Martin West: https://www.xgap.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/martin-west-93123a1a/Chapters:00:00 – Vulnerability, Creativity, and the Power of Disagreement04:31 – From Fighter Pilot Dreams to Elite Training Reality09:02 – The Cost of Constant Feedback and Accountability13:33 – Leadership Lessons from High-Stakes Environments18:04 – The Five Dysfunctions of a Team Explained22:35 – Why Conflict Is the Key to Team Breakthrough27:06 – The Leader Is the Limit of Every Team31:37 – The Power of Feedback and Ego Removal36:08 – Breaking Artificial Harmony in Teams and Relationships40:39 – Building a Culture of Truth, Vulnerability, and GrowthCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

In this live Q&A episode of the Brave Co Podcast, I answer real questions from men navigating some of the hardest parts of life and relationships. We talk about anxious attachment in dating, how to slow down and build trust the right way, and why so much relationship anxiety comes from asking questions too early. I also break down a framework for healthy dating, emotional boundaries, physical intimacy, and how men can lead relationships with clarity instead of fear.We also dive into what it looks like to take responsibility after failure without spiraling into shame. I speak directly into relapse, p*rnography, healing, counseling, and how to understand the deeper need underneath destructive patterns. This conversation is about ownership, connection, recovery, and learning how to respond to failure in a way that actually leads to growth. If you are trying to become a stronger man emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, this part of the episode will hit home.In the final section, I answer a question from a husband and father trying to love his wife well during a demanding season of work, babies, financial pressure, and exhaustion. I share practical advice for marriage, communication, small daily connection points, supporting your wife, and leading your family when life feels stretched thin. This episode is packed with honest coaching for men who want to grow in masculinity, relationships, emotional health, and responsibility.Chapters:00:00 Why Masculinity and Manhood Matter Today04:40 Dating Anxiety and the Pressure of “Is She the One?”09:20 The Relationship Ladder and Why Intimacy Must Be Slower13:59 Emotional Boundaries, Trust, and Healthy Dating Pace18:40 How to Reconnect With an Ex the Right Way23:19 Failure, Relapse, and Taking Responsibility Without Shame27:59 P*rnography, Pain, and the Search for Real Connection32:39 Counseling, Ownership, and Rebuilding After a Fall37:19 Marriage Pressure, Young Kids, and the Bond Formed in Hard Seasons41:59 Practical Ways to Love Your Wife While Carrying Heavy DemandsCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

In this episode, I challenge men to look at marriage from a completely different perspective. I ask one honest question: if your marriage was a business, how would it be doing? Most of us would never run our company, career, or mission the way we run our marriage. We plan for business, measure business, invest in business, and protect business. But too often, we let marriage drift and then wonder why it feels disconnected.I break down the four things every successful business has that every strong marriage also needs: ownership, investment, regular check-ins, and vision. I talk through practical ways Lauren and I have applied these principles in our own marriage, from daily touch points and intentional conversations to taking responsibility for areas I used to avoid. This is not about treating your wife like an employee. It is about leading with stewardship, clarity, and purpose.If you feel like your marriage has been running on autopilot, this episode will help you slow down, take an honest look, and make meaningful changes. I believe strong marriages do not happen by accident. They are built through intentional leadership, daily investment, and a clear vision for what you are creating together. If this episode helps you, send it to a friend and share it with another man who needs it.Chapters:00:00 The Question That Changes Everything02:47 Why Marriage Needs an Audit05:34 Applying Business Strategy to Marriage08:21 The First Key: Ownership11:08 Passivity, Pain, and Taking Responsibility13:55 The Second Key: Intentional Investment16:42 The Daily Habits That Transform Marriage19:29 The Third Key: Regular Check-Ins22:16 The Fourth Key: Vision for Your Marriage25:03 A Final Marriage Audit for MenCONNECT WITH BRAVECOJoin Our Free Community for Men (ladies, sign up your man): https://www.braveco.orgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/braveco.menInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/braveco.men/Shop: https://shop.braveco.org/ABOUT BRAVECO: We live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.