EP 44 - I don’t think comparison is the problem anymore

You said you were going to do it, you committed, you told everyone, you spent the time, the money, the energy and now? You’re not sure you fcking want it anymore😂What happens when the version of you who made that decision isn’t the version of you who has to live with it today?After reading an entry in The Daily Stoic about the flexibility of the will, I started thinking about how we’ve confused determination with refusing to change direction even when we’ve learnt something new.In this episode, we’re talking about the pressure to stick to your word, the fear of looking inconsistent, the sunk cost trap and how to tell the difference between something being difficult and something no longer being right for you.Changing your mind doesn’t automatically mean you’ve failed and you don’t have to keep living an old decision just to prove it wasn’t a mistake.Healing Girl HomeworkIf I were making this decision today, knowing everything I know now, would I still choose it?Past you made her decision with the information she had, current you is allowed to make different one🖤

'Just stop giving a f*ck what people think'Okkkkk… but HOW?😂You can read every self help book, repeat every affirmation and repost every quote about not caring what anyone thinks but if Katie from Year 8 can still make you question your entire existence with one Instagram view, you probably still give a f*ck.I don’t think the goal is to stop caring.In this little cosy chat, we’re talking about why 'just don’t care' is pretty useless advice, about where we put our energy, the ridiculous amount of access social media gives people to us and how I’m learning to decide whose opinions actually deserve access to me.Some people’s opinions matter, some are worth listening to and some people really do not need a f*cking seat at your table.The goal isn’t to stop giving a f*ck, it’s to get much more selective about where you give them🖤

For the last six years, I’ve had a scoreboard of followers, views, likes, engagement, sales, bookings, recognition and without even realising it, I stopped using those numbers to measure my work and started using them to measure me.Since stepping away from the version of my life and business I’d become known for, I’ve found myself comparing, questioning my place and wondering whether I’m doing enough even though I know I don’t want my old life back.Sometimes the person you’re comparing yourself to isn’t another woman. It’s a previous version of you.In this episode, we’re talking about external validation, tying our worth to achievement, what happens when the applause goes quiet, and why starting a new chapter can make you question yourself even when you KNOW it’s the right one.Sista there’s no analytics dashboard for peace, no follower count for being present and there’s no metric that can tell you whether you actually like your fcking life.We need a new scoreboard.Healing Girl HomeworkAsk yourself:'What am I currently using as proof that I’m worthy?'And then:'If nobody could see my life, no likes, praise, money, status or applause, what would I still choose?'I don’t want my next chapter to look successful,I want it to feel like mine🖤

Ever had someone ask you one tiny question and thought, if one more person asks me to make an effin decision today, I'm gonna lose it?😂This one's for you sister.You're not lazy, unmotivated or even necessarily burnt out, your brain is just FULL.From what everyone's eating, what needs buying, messages you haven't replied to, appointments, work, workouts, plans, life admin and the 47 tabs currently open in your head… we're constantly making decisions and eventually even the tiniest one can feel exhausting.In this episode, we're talking about mental load, decision fatigue, why everything starts to feel harder when your brain is overloaded, and how routines and habits can actually give you some of that mental space back. You don't need more motivation, you need fewer things to think about.Healing Girl Homework:Ask yourself'What three decisions could I remove from my week?'Your body might be sitting down but when was the last time your brain actually got to rest?🖤

We’ve all heard the quote (I’ve been saying it for the last 3 years)‘comparison is the thief of joy’butttty what if that’s only half the story?In this episode, I’m challenging one of the most repeated sayings in personal development and sharing why I now don’t think comparison itself is the problem.Because comparison can either steal your joy or deepen your gratitude.It all depends on the direction you’re looking and the story you choose to tell yourself.In this episode, we exploreWhy comparison is a natural part of being humanThe difference between comparing backwards and comparing sidewaysHow comparing your present to someone else’s highlight reel fuels insecurityWhy comparing your life today to your life five or ten years ago can create gratitude instead of guiltHow the meaning you attach to comparison shapes the way you feelThe comparison isn’t what hurts, the story you create afterwards is.Healing Girl HomeworkThink about the last time you compared yourself to someone else.Then ask yourself‘What story did I tell myself because of that comparison?’Because maybe the answer isn’t to stop comparing maybe it’s to start comparing differently.

If you've ever found yourself saying 'yes' when every part of you wanted to say 'no' this episode is for you.People pleasing isn't just about being nice, more often than not, it's about fear.Fear of disappointing people, fear of conflict, fear of being misunderstood, fear that if you stop being everything to everyone else, you'll no longer be enough.In this episode, we explore✨Why people pleasing is often a survival response, not a personality trait✨The hidden cost of constantly putting everyone else first✨How self abandonment disguises itself as kindness✨Why resentment builds when your needs are always last✨How to set boundaries without feeling guiltyBeing a good person shouldn't come at the cost of losing yourself. The people who truly love you won't need you to shrink, overgive or abandon yourself to earn your place in their lives.Healing Girl HomeworkAsk yourself'Where am I saying 'yes' to keep someone else comfortable, while making myself uncomfortable?'Then ask yourself one more question'What would choosing myself look like in that situation?'Sometimes the kindest thing you can do, is stop abandoning yourself.

What if you’re not stuck?What if the thing keeping you where you are isn’t a lack of confidence, motivation, or clarity…What if it’s the truth you’ve been avoiding?In this episode, we’re diving into the uncomfortable reality that many of us already know what we want, what needs to change, or what decision needs to be made.The problem isn’t that we don’t know, the problem is that admitting it means we’d have to do something about it.We explore✨The difference between being confused and being conflicted✨Why 'I don’t know' is often a form of self protection✨How avoiding the truth keeps us feeling stuck✨The hidden cost of staying in misalignment✨Why the hardest decisions are usually the ones we’ve already made in our heartsBecause sometimes you’re not waiting for clarity, you’re waiting for permission and maybe this episode is it.Healing Girl Homework'If fear wasn’t involved, what would I do next?'Don’t overthink it, don't justify it, just answer it.You might already know more than you think🖤

This episode is a powerful conversation around self worth, discipline, healing and the way we speak to ourselves while trying to change our lives.So many women are trying to build confidence, health, success, or happiness but from a place of shame.(eventually, that catches up with you, trust me)In this episode, we explore✨Why self punishment is often disguised as self improvement✨The nervous system impact of shame based motivation✨Why all or nothing cycles keep repeating✨The shift from punishment to self respect✨Building the life, body, and mindset you want from love not hateYou don’t need to destroy yourself to become your next level, you deserve to feel good while becoming her.Healing Girl Homework'Would I speak to someone I love the way I speak to myself?'The relationship you build with yourself matters more than the outcome🖤

After six weeks away from the podcast… ye b*tch is backkkkkkk.Ngl sis, I needed the break more than I realised.In this episode, I open up about✨Burnout and why I hit a wall✨Losing my grandad and being forced to slow down✨Taking time away from constantly producing✨Why this break changed my perspective completely✨Outgrowing old identities and stepping into a new chapter✨Learning that rest doesn’t make you fall behindThis episode is about evolution, alignment, and giving yourself permission to change because sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop.Healing Girl Homework:Ask yourself'What part of my life have I outgrown… but I’m scared to admit it?'Rest didn’t ruin me, it brought me back to life🖤

A short, no BS reminder for the days you’re doubting yourself.This episode is a mix of powerful truths, real talk and reminders you probably need to hear right now because you’re not behind, you’re not failing & you’re definitely not starting from scratch.You’re building, you’ve come further than you think and you’re doing better than you give yourself credit for.Take a breath, give yourself a minute.. then keep going🖤