Why Do I Actively Try To Stay Sick?

Why do we cling to the behaviors that hurt us most? In this episode, Kati Morton, LMFT, dives into the physiological and emotional complexities of eating disorder recovery, trauma responses, and the "why" behind our most difficult survival mechanisms. We explore the "safety" found in cycles like bulimia or anorexia when living in neglectful environments, and Kati provides actionable tools for those navigating C-PTSD, DID, and intimacy after divorce. The "Freeze" Response: Understanding "bed-locking" and C-PTSD. Complicated Grief: Why you might feel numb when an abuser passes away. The Feelings Wheel: Practical tools for naming emotions when you feel disconnected. Dissociation & DID: Managing treatment while living in an unsafe home. Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offers: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code KATI oneskin.co/KATI Zocdoc: find and book top-rated doctors, therapists, or mental health providers near you in minutes zocdoc.com/kati Remi: protect your teeth from grinding with a custom-fit night guard. Go to shopremi.com/KATI and use code KATI at checkout for 50% off Hers: visit forhers.com/kati to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you 00:00 – Intro: Mind-body responses 00:43 – ED cycles in abusive homes & Mandated Reporting 07:02 – Grieving an abuser: Understanding emotional numbness 12:41 – Why we "enjoy" or miss our eating disorders 25:01 – Tools for naming emotions (The Feelings Wheel) 32:27 – Navigating DID treatment in unsafe environments 39:09 – Is "bed-locking" a normal C-PTSD response? 47:09 – Shame and intimacy after divorce 53:03 – When your therapist challenges your recovery YouTube: youtube.com/@Katimorton Books: Why Do I Keep Doing This?, Traumatized, and Are u ok? Online Therapy: Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/kati Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. Please consult with a qualified professional for diagnosis and treatment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eating disorder shapeshifting explained, therapy dissociation tips, no contact with adult child response, self-acceptance after weight gain, feeling unseen or outcast, skin picking dermatillomania, broken UK NHS mental health system, social anxiety in sessions, neurodivergent experiences, body image struggles, anxiety after injury, DSM vs ICD-11 differences, parasocial relationships advice. Licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton answers your real questions in this Ask Kati Anything episode—get expert insights on coping, recovery, and feeling seen. Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offers: • Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://www.hero.co/ and use code KATI at checkout • Hers - visit https://www.forhers.com/kati for personalized, affordable weight loss plans with licensed medical support • Zocdoc - find and book top-rated doctors, therapists, or mental health providers near you in minutes. Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/kati Audience questions: 0:47 - Q1: Mind goes blank when therapist asks 'what do you need?' (social anxiety, dissociation) 6:16 - Q2: Why eating disorders shapeshift from restricting to bingeing (neurodivergent impact) 15:17 - Add-on: Self-acceptance vs weight loss first mindset in ED recovery (body image fears) 21:03 - Q3: Anxiety, depression after injury and loss of independence (positive mindset tips) 29:05 - Q4: Key differences between DSM and ICD-11 for diagnosing mental illnesses 34:05 - Q5: Feeling like an outcast or invisible - how to build inclusion and connections 43:20 - Q6: Dermatillomania (skin picking) - causes, tips, and tricks to stop 47:35 - Q7: Navigating broken mental health systems and feeling unhelpable 54:21 - Q8: Best response when an adult child goes no contact (with compassion and respect) 1:01:04 - Q9: Navigating parasocial relationships with content creators and celebrities MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY? Enjoy 10% off your first month: While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] DISCLAIMER The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Ask Kati Anything ep. 303 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether you are struggling with depression, addiction, or seeking motivation, Justin’s story is a roadmap for anyone feeling lost in the dark. "I was the youngest heavyweight in the country, and I was losing the only fight that mattered." In this powerful episode Kati speaks with Justin Wren for a raw conversation on mental health, resilience, and the recovery journey. Justin pulls back the curtain on a life of extreme highs and devastating lows, from the "merciless" bullying he faced as a child in Texas to the secret OxyContin addiction that haunted his professional MMA career. We dive deep into the "living nightmare" of substance abuse, where Justin managed a massive intake of pills while fighting on the world’s biggest stage. He shares the heartbreaking moment he hit rock bottom after missing his best friend's wedding and the moment in Tulum that gave him a second chance at life. Justin also discusses his work with Fight for the Forgotten, his nonprofit dedicated to providing clean water and land rights to the Mbuti Pygmy people in Uganda and Eastern Congo. He shares the beautiful, life-altering lessons he learned about community, grief, and Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) that helped him find true healing. Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offer: • Function Health - visit www.functionhealth.com/KATI and use gift code KATI25 for a $25 credit toward your membership • Warby Parker - our listeners get 15% + Free Shipping when they buy 2 or more pairs of prescription glasses at https://www.warbyparker.com/KATI • Care.com - for a limited time, go to https://www.care.com and use code KATI for 20% off your initial subscription or a Senior Care Advisor Plan • Remi - protect your teeth with Remi by using code KATI to get 50% off your new night guard at https://shopremi.com/KATI In this episode: 00:00 – Meet guest Justin Wren 01:41 – The "merciless" bullying Justin faced in grade school 08:34 – Moving schools and finding mentorship through Olympic wrestling coaches 13:54 – Discovering the UFC 18:18 – Learning to "swim in the deep end" by wrestling 200 matches a year 18:49 – Finding purpose by speaking in over 100 correctional facilities 26:54 – The freak injury that led to a massive opioid addiction 33:07 – Rock bottom: "I can't believe you missed my wedding." 34:10 – The attempt to end it all in Tulum and the miracle survival 44:48 – Understanding Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) with Dr. Daniel Amen 49:32 – The cycle of "dry drunk" vs. real recovery 53:51 – Fight for the Forgotten: Deep work on land rights and sustainable water 01:04:13 – Explaining depression to a culture that has no word for "suicide." 01:17:08 – The Statue of Responsibility and giving a "hand up," not a "handout." JUSTIN WREN https://www.fightfortheforgotten.org/ Ask Kati Anything ep. 302 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton addresses eight deeply personal mental health questions from the community. From navigating chronic suicidal ideation to coping with hearing voices while trying to study, Kati provides clinical insight with compassion and practical guidance. Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offer: • Get 15% off OneSkin with the code KATI at https://www.oneskin.co/KATI • Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order. Go to https://www.hero.co/ and use code KATI at checkout. • Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://www.zocdoc.com/KATI to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. TOPICS COVERED 0:00 - Introduction 1:19 - Living with chronic suicidal ideation and finding hope when treatments haven't worked 7:04 - Distinguishing between personality and mental health symptoms (especially when medication changes) 18:30 - Grieving a version of yourself you never got to know 27:15 - Eating disorder relapse and navigating inadequate care systems 35:42 - What to say when therapy isn't the right fit 42:08 - How clinicians approach weight changes and honesty in eating disorder treatment 47:51 - Shame, self-doubt, and dissociative identity disorder (DID) 52:36 - Coping with hearing voices while studying in college RESOURCES MENTIONED • VNS (Vagus Nerve Stimulation) • Ketamine treatment • ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy) • EMDR therapy • DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) CRISIS RESOURCES • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 • International resources: http://findahelpline.com CONNECT Subscribe for weekly mental health Q&As and don't forget to leave a review to help others find this podcast. Ask Kati Anything ep. 301 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Disclaimer The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, Kati is joined by Jen Birn, editor of Austin Lifestyle magazine. Jen has built a life on her own terms, parlaying her high-octane success in the celebrity journalism scenes of New York and Los Angeles into a career that is currently transforming the landscape of Austin. Jen’s path was built on pure grit and "fake it 'til you make it" scrappiness. From waitressing in a music bar where she convinced the Gin Blossoms to give her an interview that launched her career, to navigating family crisis, Jen has faced the kind of relatable struggles that define a survivalist spirit. Along the way she shares stories from a career spent crossing paths with figures like Richard Branson, Johnny Depp & David Arquette, transitioning from the 24/7 hustle to finding balance, biohacking for longevity, and reclaiming your time. Jen Birn is an inspiration who proves that success isn't about having a perfect start—it's about the resilience to keep chasing the sunset until you find home. Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offers: • Remi - Go to www.shopremi.com/KATI and use code KATI at checkout for 50% off your Custom Night Guards • Function Health - Get a $25 credit toward your membership at www.functionhealth.com/kati with gift code KATI25 MORE JEN Chasing Sunsets Down I-80 https://amzn.to/3LHpVgU https://citylifestyle.com/austin/issues MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Ask Kati Anything ep. 298 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your best days haven't even happened yet? In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, I’m joined by the incredible Amy Edwards—CEO, author, and host of The Amy Edwards Show. At 53, Amy is the happiest she’s ever been, but getting here required walking through some of life’s darkest valleys. We dive deep into the messy, complicated, and ultimately beautiful process of transformation. Amy opens up about the stigma of being twice-divorced, the "blackout" period of losing her voice during a legal battle, and her unconventional journey through psychedelic healing and sobriety. Whether you are struggling with a "failed" relationship, feeling stuck in a cycle of rumination, or wondering if it's too late to start over, this conversation is a reminder that you don't need anything outside of yourself to access hope. Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offer: Feel like your best self again, visit https://www.forhers.com/KATI to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you! Chapters 00:00 – Meet Amy Edwards 03:04 – Becoming the "Matriarchs" after losing parents 04:29 – Religious differences and choosing love over judgment 09:35 – The reality of divorce at 25 vs. later in life 13:57 – A perfect storm: Pregnancy, losing a mother, and a broken leg 17:46 – The "Rebound Marriage" and learning to stand up for yourself 21:14 – Why "Staying for the Kids" can be the real failure 26:42 – Modeling resilience: Showing children that women can do anything 30:12 – Mental health tools: The "Don't Drink the Drano Today" logic 36:32 – Psychedelics and Ego Death: Rewiring the brain 40:32 – Ketamine therapy and clearing the "ruminating sand" 43:10 – The road to sobriety and finding a growth-mindset partner 54:19 – The "Table" Metaphor: Breaking the cycle of transactional love 01:03:16 – Losing your voice: When the body forces you to slow down 01:07:37 – Radical Self-Love: doing mirror work 01:15:45 – Your best days haven't happened yet MORE AMY https://www.youtube.com/@TheAmyEdwardsShow The Trouble with Becoming a Witch: A Novel by Amy Edwards https://amzn.to/4ahkoFU https://www.instagram.com/realamyedwards/ MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] DISCLAIMER The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Ask Kati Anything ep. 300 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed therapist Kati Morton, LMFT, dives into the complex intersection of social media and mental health. We explore how to protect yourself from "rage-bait" and identity-driven outrage while still using platforms productively. Kati also breaks down the vital differences between flashbacks and hallucinations, the ethics of acting out trauma in therapy, and how to navigate anxious-avoidant attachment dynamics with your own therapist. Plus, a deep dive into recovery tools and Kati’s personal strategy for overcoming a "funk" using a unique gratitude practice. Shopping with our sponsors helps support Ask Kati Anything. Please check out this week's special offers: • Hungryroot - Go to https://www.hungryroot.com/KATI and use code KATI at checkout to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. • Hero Bread - Get 10% off your order at https://www.hero.co and use code KATI at checkout Chapters: 00:00 Protecting Your Mental Health Online 01:30 How to Curate Your Feed & Avoid "Rage-Bait" 03:55 Awareness, Resilience, and Critical Thinking Skills 08:48 Identifying "Emotion Mind" vs. "Wise Mind" 10:33 Acting Out Trauma in Therapy: Safety & Perspective 14:40 Flashbacks vs. Hallucinations: What’s Actually Happening? 18:19 Can Trauma Cause Psychosis? 20:11 Spirituality vs. Religion in Healing 24:55 The Truth About Forgiveness & Resentment 30:19 Addressing Shame & Responsibility in Abuse 36:04 Navigating Anxious-Avoidant Attachment in Therapy 41:21 Meal Replacement Drinks in ED Recovery 44:13 Kati’s Personal Practice for Pulling Out of Depression MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist. Enjoy 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we are diving deep into the complexities of trauma, connection, and the healing journey. If you’ve ever felt like your therapy progress is backsliding or that you’re becoming more overwhelmed as you open old wounds, this episode is for you. Shopping with our sponsors allows us to continue bringing you these important conversations about mental health. Please check out this week's special offers: • Hungryroot - Get 40% off your first box at https://www.hungryroot.com/kati • Hers - Start your personalized journey at https://www.forhers.com/kati 00:45 – The Therapy Balance: Why a therapist shouldn't work harder than the patient to maintain a healthy therapeutic space. 03:55 – Therapist Self-Disclosure: When it is ethical for a therapist to share personal information to benefit the patient. 05:30 – Why Healing Feels Worse: Understanding why trauma processing can lead to a temporary increase in symptoms. 11:01 – Building Coping Skills: How to use coping tools and impulse logs to manage the discomfort of change. 15:24 – Therapist Self-Care: Kati shares how she separates her personal and professional life to avoid burnout. 22:05 – Trauma and Disconnection: Why survivors may feel alienated and how finding relatability can break emotional numbness. 32:13 – Empathic Boundaries: How to stop absorbing other people's emotions while still offering support. 39:54 – Parents and Boundaries: What to do when parents ignore boundaries and why a boundary is about your own actions. 42:07 – Love vs. Limerence: The difference between slow-built intimacy and intense, involuntary obsession. 46:50 – Neurodivergent Marriage: Advice for couples with complex PTSD on discussing triggers and expectations before marriageWhether you are struggling with complex PTSD, navigating a new marriage while neurodivergent, or trying to set boundaries with difficult parents, we’re covering it all today. MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Ask Kati Anything ep. 297 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether you are dealing with childhood trauma and shame, navigating the grief of life transitions after graduation, or learning to trust your instincts after years of self-betrayal, this episode provides practical therapeutic insights for your healing journey. Join us as we explore how to set healthy boundaries, overcome loneliness, and stop the cycle of self-abandonment to build a more authentic relationship with yourself. Kati also discusses the heavy burden of caregiver burnout, the physiological necessity of sleep for mental health, and how to support those struggling with suicidal ideation. In this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton answers listener questions and takes a deep dive into the true meaning of forgiveness and how it serves as a tool for personal liberation rather than condoning hurtful behavior. Support the show! Check out our sponsors and exclusive deals: Hero Bread - get 10% off your order when you visit http://hero.co and use promo code KATI at checkout.• OneSkin - skin health products powered by the OS-01 peptide - get up to 30% off OneSkin with the code KATI at https://www.oneskin.co/KATI Timestamps 00:57 - Q1: How can I forgive people who have hurt me deeply? 04:47 - Q2: How do we keep going when we’re exhausted (Caregiver burnout & sleep)? 10:04 - Q3: Suicide prevention: How to help and what society can do. 13:22 - Q4: How to open up about trauma without feeling shame. 17:34 - Q5: Dealing with regret and unemployment after quitting a job. MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY 22:30 - Q6: How to trust yourself and manage triggers. 24:06 - Q6 (Continued): Setting boundaries vs. overreacting. 31:12 - Q7: Moving on and finding routine after graduating high school. 43:06 - Q8: How to trust yourself again after years of self-betrayal. 54:07 - Q9: Navigating loneliness and outgrowing old friendships. Ask Kati Anything ep. 296 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT ONLINE THERAPY (enjoy 10% off your first month) While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | [email protected] Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton dives deep into the complex psychology of eating disorders, the lasting "blueprint" of childhood trauma, and why certain coping mechanisms feel impossible to give up. We explore the often-misunderstood need for validation in recovery, the erratic behavior of some therapists, and why mental health struggles can feel like an addictive cycle. Whether you are navigating your own healing journey or trying to understand a loved one, this episode offers professional insight into breaking cycles of shame and finding a path toward a healthier sense of self. Support the show! Check out our sponsor Remi:  Get professional quality custom night guards for 80% less than the dentist.  Go to https://www.shopremi.com/KATI and use code KATI  at checkout for 50% off Timestamps 00:00:50 – Kati discusses whether "attention-seeking" in eating disorders is actually a cry for unmet emotional needs from childhood. 00:07:02 q1 – An exploration of why childhood sexual abuse deeply impacts one's psychological foundation and sense of safety. 00:15:54 q2 – Kati explains the addictive nature of self-harm and how to discuss the fear of stopping with a therapist. 00:22:45 q3 – Insight into why a therapist might show inconsistent personalities and how to handle unprofessional boundaries. 00:31:16 q4 – Advice for a student in India facing academic pressure and unsafe living conditions while dependent on family. 00:34:53 q5 – A look at "behavioral activation" and what to do when standard depression treatments and medications haven't worked. 00:39:09 q6 – How OCD can "rob" you of your interests by demanding a level of control that makes joy impossible. 00:44:40 q7 – Why it is common to feel terrified of fully committing to recovery after years of struggling with anorexia. 00:49:09 q8 – A professional breakdown of how therapists ethically intervene when a patient self-harms or dissociates during a session. MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This?  (JUST RELEASED)  https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0j   Are u ok?    https://geni.us/sva4iUY  PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman |  [email protected] Disclaimer The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Ask Kati Anything ep. 295 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices