007 - Cheating

The idea of marriage is something that for some has been planted in our brains since we were kids. Somewhere, somehow we were taught about finding the one, and finding the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with… In a perfect world you were going to meet somebody, have a family, and live happily ever after… So, what happened??? Is it necessary to have a marriage to feel more secure in a relationship or is marriage simply outdated? Are we scared of marriage??? And does the relationship change following marriage? If you could have a “progressive marriage” would you? And what roles do family upbringing and cultures play in whether or not you choose to get married? If you’re still waiting, just ask him!!! Or are you scared of the rejection??? Listen to the 40 Something ladies share their experiences.

The 40 Something ladies invite Sampz and Schaffer from the podcast Perspective 5 and Dean aka DJ Skinz to join them on this episode to get a male view on cheating... And those who have cheated admit it.... If you’re deceiving your partner, not being transparent with them and also know you are doing something that is fundamentally wrong and trying to hide it - then it’s cheating. Why do people cheat? Because they can? Because the relationship is broken? When you find yourself traumatised from being cheated on, how do you bounce back? Where does self-reflection begin and end? And as the cheater... are you an opportunist or do you not know how to practice respectful love of your significant other and self love? And yes, platonic relationships can and do exist - even if we don’t all believe that. What did we conclude: both men and women cheat and the reasons behind it are similar if not the same. Piece of advice... hold yourself to a higher standard and know that cheating is a choice – period. You CAN choose to be a better version of yourself.  Also what is more attractive? A partner who only has eyes for their beloved, or a partner who displays traits of narcissism, selfishness and indifference… the choice is yours.

The ladies discuss H&M’s interview with Oprah Winfrey and also the tragic murder of Sarah Everard. How do these life events affect us as women and as black women…

All 8 of the 40 Something ladies discuss THEIR hair and THEIR personal views on how THEIR hair has been received and commented on growing up and, still is... This episode clearly brings up some experiences suffered...yes, suffered when it comes to Afro hair. What is good hair and who determines what good hair should look and feel like??? In the work place...why is black hair always commented on? Does it make others feel uncomfortable? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Is it micro aggression? Or is it pure inquisitiveness? Have you experienced hair discrimination from within your own race/culture? Believe me, it exists!!! If your hair is of a particular length and/or texture, are you asked about whether it’s real or whether you got ‘some kind of mix in you’? Do we need to accept the diversity in our own race before we expect it from others? Does this backdate to the slavery casting system? This new generation is much more confident and accepting of what they can do with their hair. - something to be celebrated, the embracing of Afro hair!!!

Friendships... the good, the bad and the ugly... The ladies discuss when they met and what they thought of each other - sounds like it wasn't love at first sight for some (more like frenemies)!!! Should we have expectations within friendships and does having those expectations set us up to fail? What do you do when your supposed friend is always putting you down and hating on you? And do platonic friendships exist between the opposite sex or is there a silent underlying lust for your friend? Where there is jealousy, enviousness or the green-eyed monster can a friendship really exist? Cherie, Hannah, Michelle, Nina, Shakira, Toni and Vanessa discuss the importance of love, loyalty, respect and trust in friendships and when it's best to walk away and keep it moving.

So, your man goes out with a female friend and doesn’t tell you… is that cheating? You’re texting a guy and flirting, is that considered cheating? Or is it micro-cheating??? If you don’t know, you’ll have to listen to find out! Melissa, Michelle, Nina, Shakira, Toni and Vanessa, have very different views on this…hmmm Can you forgive cheating? Is it ever the same? Why do people cheat???

Cherie, Michelle Nina and Shakira reminisce on dating experiences… So, listeners, we don’t have any pearls of wisdom here, we are just sharing the #### Ups!!! Michelle ‘fasted’ up herself and jumped on a plane for a weekend date with a man she’d met rollerblading in Hyde Park…fool! Cherie went on a date with a man who couldn’t dress and showed up in a white van to pick her up… that’s not the worst part, they ended up at Stratford Rex where several people knew this ‘IT gyal’. Shakira is currently publishing her book on dates…she’ll happily admit she’s had many…including the unpolished blind date and the man whose house hygiene was below par… And Nina… has not had many bad dates - LUCKY HER!!!!!

Part 2!!!! Listen as the 40 Something ladies TRY to handle technology and do their first recording with half of them at home and half in the studio due to the COVID restrictions… We won’t lie, TRY they did and TRY they… let’s just say that whilst the content will keep you hooked, the audio is a little frightening…everyone has to start somewhere right? (– don’t give up your day jobs ladies!!!) The 40 Something ladies continue their conversation on parenting. This time looking at Co-Parenting. Is it hard? Is it easy? Does it depend on who your baby daddy/baby mamma is???? Has it worked? Or did someone decide to check out on their parenting duties??? What happens when a new partner enters the existing co-parenting scene – does it impact the parenting relationship and how much does it affect your child(ren)? What about the men??? Do we think baby mammas make it difficult? Are mothers making it difficult when you move on?? Who has a successful co-parenting relationship and what’s the secret???

Part 1 Do you know the difference between Millennials and Gen Z’s??? As a parent what has worried you as you watch your child(ren) transition though the years? How has social media played a part in your child(ren)’s upbringing and to what extent do you think they are influenced and conditioned by social media? What about peer pressure: When your child wants to be accepted by a society that has no regard for them… Is it different raising girls from boys? We’ve all experienced the mood swings (yes, boys have them too!) our children have, even though they’d like to call us the moody ones. Grooming… from sexual to gangs to being stereotyped by the police… when as a parent do you feel you can exhale…if at all? And who should be providing ‘Sex Ed’ for your child(ren), how should we confront this and who provided it to you??? Who remembers their parent’s response when ending a conversation always being, “because I said so…” Are we (as parents), talking to much when ‘one look’ should be enough? How much of their privacy should you invade…if at all??? Listen to Hannah and Vanessa reminisce about writing songs called “I want to make love to you” and then trying to share it with their parents at the age of 15…how did that go down… And Toni will tell you how she handled the tissue incident…it’s just a cold... How Mel took the approach of explaining the “Whys?” And how Shakira dealt with the back chat and, still does….

We are now middle aged… your words not mine!!! Sore knees, stiff hips – what is your multivitamin poison of choice? What is expected of us now that we are considered ‘middle aged’??? Body image… are you willing to reveal more? Bikini or one piece? Are we considering surgery and should we – at our age??? Should we be raving with our children??? Cherie Melissa, Shakira, Toni and Vanessa will tell you what they think 😊