How Veterans And Partners Can Communicate, Reconnect, And Thrive At Home

Send us a textA homecoming can feel like a finish line, but for many veterans and partners it’s the moment everything shifts. Roles change, routines collide, and good intentions get lost in translation. We brought in David and Alexis “Kiwi” to share the tools that helped them turn a painful communication breakdown—yes, including a hard‑boiled egg in a birthday lasagna—into a marriage that’s resilient, connected, and aligned.We explore how unspoken expectations sabotage closeness and why building a common language is the fastest way to sync meaning with message. You’ll learn the “three businesses” framework that lowers anxiety on the spot: own what you think, feel, do, and create; influence but don’t control others; trust the timing and outcomes you can’t manage. We dig into mindset science too—how your reticular activating system filters reality to match your focus—and how a simple physiology reset can break the spin cycle of stress in seconds. Instead of command-and-control habits that backfire at home, we model curiosity, clear requests, and practical rituals.Expect concrete steps you can use tonight: five to ten minutes of daily couch time with three prompts (best part, hardest part, how can I support you), the “what’s in your cup” check to upgrade your inputs, and the same-team mindset that turns arguments into joint problem-solving. Whether you’re navigating reintegration, launching a business together, or simply trying to feel close again, these tools help you reclaim presence and rebuild trust without guesswork.If this conversation gave you a new way to show up for your partner, share it with someone who needs it, subscribe for more veteran-focused tools, and leave a review telling us your favorite takeaway. Your feedback helps more families find the habits that heal.Support the show

Send us a textWhen Joe Kramer received his medical discharge from the Army due to hearing issues, his decade-long dream of military service came crashing down. As a West Point graduate raised in a military family, the sudden transition left him experiencing what he calls "identity whiplash" - that jarring moment when the future you've envisioned disappears overnight.What followed was a tumultuous journey through multiple civilian careers and layoffs, all while supporting a growing family including newborn twins. Rather than succumbing to bitterness or despair, Joe maintained a relentless optimism that ultimately guided him toward meaningful work aligned with his values. His story resonates with anyone facing unexpected career pivots or searching for purpose after a major life transition.The conversation takes a fascinating turn when Joe reveals how he founded "Ruck On," an initiative that began as his personal fitness journey but evolved into a platform helping veterans reconnect with physical activity and personal development. By transforming military rucking into a civilian practice on his own terms, Joe rediscovered a piece of his military identity while reclaiming his personal agency. This became a powerful metaphor for his broader transition - taking familiar elements from military life but adapting them to serve his civilian goals.Perhaps most valuable are Joe's three transformative practices for veterans in transition: reading ten pages daily, consistent journaling, and intentionally focusing on positives. His practical exercise of listing what you don't want and then flipping each item provides a roadmap for clarity when feeling lost. As Joe wisely notes, "People get hung up focusing on the negatives and what they don't want, and you just get more of that." His journey proves that with resilience and the right mindset, veterans can create fulfilling lives beyond service, choosing meaning over expectations.Subscribe and follow @RuckOnVentures on Instagram to continue the conversation about finding purpose after military service. What transition challenges have you faced, and how did you overcome them?Support the show

Send us a text"The moment I handed over my M4—the weapon that kept me alive for a year through hell—I felt naked." These powerful words from US Army veteran Danny O'Neel capture the vulnerability many veterans experience when transitioning from combat to civilian life.Danny's story begins with childhood trauma, continues through combat as a Fire Support Specialist, and transforms into a journey of healing that offers hope to struggling veterans everywhere. Scoring a 10/10 on the Adverse Childhood Experiences test before even entering military service, Danny carried psychological burdens that would later compound with combat trauma. After losing nine brothers during deployment and witnessing many more succumb to suicide afterward, Danny himself reached a breaking point."I didn't want to be an asshole anymore," Danny candidly shares, describing how pushing away loved ones and self-medicating with alcohol led him to attempt suicide. His awakening came with the realization that he needed to "unpack Pandora's box of trauma"—not just from war, but from his childhood as well. The process wasn't easy, but it transformed him.Danny's approach to resilience draws from a powerful metaphor: when storms come, cows run and keep running, exhausting themselves as the storm follows. Buffalo, however, charge directly into the storm, getting wet and uncomfortable, but reaching sunshine much faster. This philosophy—facing challenges head-on rather than avoiding them—forms the cornerstone of Danny's recovery and his message to other veterans.Today, Danny runs multiple businesses and nonprofits dedicated to veteran support, including Warfighter Overwatch. His journey from not wanting to live to helping others find their path demonstrates that healing is possible, even from the deepest trauma. His parting wisdom resonates with profound simplicity: "Resilience doesn't happen when it goes your way."Want to connect with Danny's work? Visit warfighteroverwatch.org or find Kinetic Ink Tattoos and Kinetic Threads on social media to support veteran-focused initiatives that are changing lives one warrior at a time.Support the show

Send us a textEver notice how easy it is to flip your lid when life gets overwhelming? In this powerful conversation, Mike Cole welcomes back retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Tina Parker to explore the transformative shift from reactivity to creativity.Tina vulnerably shares her journey through unimaginable challenges—losing her first child to stillbirth, facing cancer after her daughter's birth, and navigating divorce—and how these experiences taught her to choose creativity even in life's darkest moments. Rather than asking "why me?" she demonstrates how shifting the questions we ask ourselves can completely transform our experience.The discussion reveals a simple yet profound framework anyone can use: Pause, Notice, Choose. Your breath becomes the bridge between reactivity and creativity, creating space for intentional responses rather than automatic reactions. This isn't about never experiencing difficult emotions—it's about recognizing we always have a choice in how we respond to them.Perhaps most compelling is the understanding that our reactions send ripple effects—or as Mike puts it, "tidal waves"—affecting not just ourselves but everyone around us. When we react negatively to our children, partners, or colleagues, that energy spreads; when we respond consciously, that positive energy spreads instead.For women in leadership particularly, this shift offers a powerful alternative to pushing against existing structures. Instead of exhausting ourselves fighting systems not designed with us in mind, we can create something new through a pull towards possibility rather than a push against resistance.Ready to break free from reactivity and become the conscious creator of your life experience? This conversation offers practical wisdom for anyone seeking more balance, fulfillment, and authentic power in their daily life. Visit empowerperformancestrategies.com to continue your journey!Support the show

Send us a textAre your thoughts empowering or draining you? In this eye-opening conversation with Robert and Cathy Casteel, we explore the powerful State Trilogy that shapes your energy levels and determines your quality of life.The Casteel's, drawing from their military backgrounds and coaching expertise, break down how focus, physiology, and language work together like a three-legged stool to create your mental and emotional state. When one element weakens, your entire foundation becomes unstable. Through practical examples and personal stories, they demonstrate how consciously managing these three elements can transform your energy from poor to rich, dramatically changing how you show up in the world.We dive into the fascinating Hawaiian Ho'oponopono prayer—a simple yet profound healing practice that can repair relationships even when the other person isn't physically present. Robert and Cathy vulnerably demonstrate this prayer during our conversation, showing how four simple phrases—"I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you"—can create powerful energy shifts in yourself and others.For veterans especially, who often struggle with the transition from military to civilian life, these tools provide a practical framework for managing challenging emotions and creating a new empowered reality. The Casteel's share their technique called "BOP" (Breathe, Open, Pause) to interrupt negative thought patterns, plus their advice to create a personal list of activities that "fill your tank" when energy runs low.Whether you're battling negative self-talk, feeling disconnected from others, or simply wanting more energy and joy in your life, this episode offers concrete strategies to transform your thoughts and, ultimately, your reality. Listen now, then visit empowerperformancestrategies.com for more resources to support your journey.Support the show

Send us a textAnxiety isn't just "all in your head" — it's a complex neurological process that can be understood, managed, and even rewired. Brain coach Dominika joins Michael Cole to explain exactly how anxiety works in your brain and provide practical tools that actually work to interrupt anxious patterns.Dominika breaks down the science simply: anxiety occurs when your amygdala overreacts "like a Christmas tree," triggering your limbic system and taking your prefrontal cortex (the logical part of your brain) offline. The result? You're ruled by emotions, feeling paralyzed, struggling to breathe, and unable to think clearly. But understanding this process gives you power to change it.Rather than generic advice to "just meditate" when you're anxious (which Dominika explains is nearly impossible in that state), she offers specific, science-backed techniques like mental rehearsal, pattern interrupts, and the counterintuitive but crucial practice of staying in anxiety-provoking situations rather than fleeing. This last point is particularly powerful — when you leave, you reinforce your brain's belief that there was real danger.What makes this conversation uniquely valuable is how Dominika connects psychology with biology. She explains why checking specific nutrient levels (ferritin, iron, magnesium, and D3) is essential for managing anxiety, why hormone fluctuations during perimenopause can trigger anxiety symptoms, and why taking random supplements without testing first can actually harm rather than help.Most importantly, Dominika reminds us of neuroplasticity — your brain's lifelong ability to change and adapt. No matter your age or how long you've struggled with anxiety, you can create new neural pathways and responses. With her three powerful tips for veterans and their families, she leaves listeners with both practical tools and renewed hope: who you've been until now has nothing to do with who you can become.Support the show

Send us a textTechnology has woven itself into the fabric of our daily existence—from how we work to how we parent, communicate, and even think. In this enlightening conversation with Laura Ollinger, a certified digital wellbeing coach and founder of Positively Healthy Coaching, we unpack the hidden costs of our hyperconnected lives and discover practical paths toward healthier digital balance.Laura shares her personal journey from tech-rule skeptic to digital wellness advocate, revealing how her experience parenting four teenagers transformed her understanding of screen time's profound impact. Rather than viewing digital wellbeing through a lens of restriction, she offers a refreshing perspective focused on what we can add to our lives instead of what we must take away.The conversation dives deep into "technoference"—how our devices disrupt genuine human connection—and the neurological hooks deliberately engineered by app designers to keep us scrolling, checking, and engaged. Laura explains how these digital experiences trigger dopamine pathways similar to slot machines, creating powerful habit loops that hijack our attention and erode our presence.Most valuable are the actionable strategies shared throughout: incorporating nature exposure to reset attention spans, establishing healthy work-life boundaries in a culture that expects constant availability, and cultivating what neuroscientists call the "default mode network"—the mental state where creativity and innovation flourish. Laura's approach meets us where we are, acknowledging technology's benefits while empowering us to reclaim control over how we engage with it.Whether you're a parent concerned about your child's screen time, a professional struggling with digital boundaries, or simply seeking more meaningful connections in a distracted world, this episode offers both the understanding and practical tools to transform your relationship with technology. Laura reminds us that true digital wellbeing isn't about perfection—it's about intentional choices that align with our deeper values and authentic human needs.Support the show

Send us a textWhen resistance shows up in your life, are you quick to push through it, or do you pause to consider what it might be trying to tell you? This powerful conversation with retired Air Force Lieutenant Colonel Tina Parker challenges everything we think we know about resistance and authentic leadership.Tina, founder of Lead Outside the Lines and a certified neuro encoding specialist, draws from her 23 years of military service to unpack how resistance often signals growth rather than warning. She reveals the critical distinction between resistance that stems from fear of the unknown versus resistance that signals genuine misalignment with our values and purpose.What makes this episode transformative is Tina's explanation of how our bodies physically respond to resistance – shutting down creativity and higher thinking precisely when we need these resources most. You'll discover practical tools for replacing self-judgment with curiosity and learn how to regulate your nervous system to access your natural wisdom.The conversation takes a fascinating turn when Tina shares research on gender differences in confidence: women typically need to feel 85% confident before pursuing opportunities, while men need only 15%. This "expectation gap" creates unique challenges for women in leadership positions – challenges Tina herself navigated when requesting part-time work in the federal government during a personal crisis.Whether you're facing internal doubts or external naysayers, this episode offers a revolutionary framework for discernment. Tina's three simple yet profound questions – "Am I in alignment? Am I in integrity? Am I on my path?" – provide a compass for navigating resistance authentically. When the answer to all three is yes, resistance becomes not an obstacle but a signpost of growth on your journey toward truly authentic leadership.Connect with Tina at leadoutsidethelines.com and discover her upcoming Conscious Leadership Accelerator for visionary women. Your relationship with resistance will never be the same after listening to this episode.Support the show

Send us a textThe heaviest burden you'll ever carry isn't physical – it's emotional. Carolyn Ozuna returns to share how radical forgiveness transformed her from living in her sister's basement during a painful divorce to building a multimillion-dollar business and finding her soulmate."Forgiveness isn't condoning behavior," Carolyn explains, dispelling the most common misconception holding people back from healing. Instead, it's a powerful act of self-liberation. She reveals five core principles that form the foundation of radical forgiveness: nothing happens by accident, we are not victims, emotions should be fully felt (but only need 90 seconds to process), healing comes through acceptance not analysis, and forgiveness benefits you, not them.The conversation takes a profound turn when addressing how to find gifts in seemingly unforgivable traumas. Carolyn doesn't shy away from difficult truths – that victim consciousness perpetuates more victimization, while conscious awareness creates new possibility. She shares the story of a client who discovered his mother had been raped, resulting in his birth. While never condoning the violence, he ultimately recognized that without that terrible event, he wouldn't exist to impact countless lives today.Perhaps most practical is the pattern-interrupt technique Carolyn offers. By choosing a silly word (hers is "pineapple") to break negative thought spirals, we can create space between our thoughts. "I find God in the space between my thoughts," she reveals, explaining how this practice opens us to higher consciousness and new perspectives.Ready to break free from the prison of pain you've been decorating for years? This episode provides actionable steps to release what no longer serves you. As Carolyn beautifully states, "My destination in life is no longer a place—it's a new way of seeing the world, because through new eyes, I live a new life."Support the show

Send us a textWhat happens when you achieve everything you've ever wanted, yet find yourself driving past the same cliff everyday, contemplating suicide? Yolanda Ayala, a 25-year veteran nurse at UCLA, takes us on her raw, transformative journey from the depths of depression to discovering authentic purpose and joy.Despite having the perfect life on paper—loving family, successful career, financial stability—Yolanda spent three years planning her suicide. The turning point came unexpectedly at a business conference where she encountered personal development concepts that planted seeds of hope. "That little glimpse of light in the darkest time," as she calls it, gradually expanded through intentional growth practices and a commitment to rediscovering her authentic self.Yolanda's story illuminates a paradox many face: the emptiness that can follow achieving our goals when those goals don't align with our deeper purpose. After realizing nursing had become her identity rather than her passion, she courageously stepped into public speaking and coaching—discovering work that doesn't feel like work: "I come to life, no matter how hard it is."This conversation delivers practical wisdom for anyone feeling unfulfilled or stuck. Yolanda shares her daily practices—morning routines, gratitude journaling, goal-setting—that create sustainable transformation. Most powerfully, she suggests asking yourself: "When you're on your last breath, are you proud of yourself?" This perspective helps separate genuine purpose from societal expectations.For veterans navigating difficult transitions, Yolanda offers three transformative insights: meet people where they are, commit to personal growth, and never give up hope. As host Michael Cole emphasizes, "You cannot be depressed if you're grateful"—highlighting how mindset practices can literally rewire our neural pathways toward positivity and purpose.Ready to transform your own darkness into purpose? Visit empowerperformancestrategies.com for resources to begin your journey.Support the show