440. Self-Compassion Without Self-Pity (Confidence Compass Skill 2)

Do you worry that if you practice self-compassion, you’ll stop getting things done or start letting yourself off the hook? This is a common fear, and it comes from confusing self-compassion with self-pity. In this episode, I’m teaching the second skill of the Confidence Compass: self-compassion. You’ll learn how self-pity, self-criticism, and self-compassion form a spectrum, and why real confidence comes from balancing self-awareness with empathy. I’ll show you how self-compassion allows you to meet yourself honestly and kindly while still taking responsibility for your growth and evolution. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/440Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Most of your thoughts are running on autopilot, shaping how you feel and act without you even realizing it. The good news is that you can learn to access those unconscious thoughts and bring them into your awareness, but only if you know how to look for them. This week, I’m answering two questions that get right to the heart of this work: how to uncover hidden thought patterns and how to stop feeling overwhelmed when you want to change everything at once. You’ll learn the simplest daily practice for making your unconscious thoughts visible, why confusion is your brain’s favorite form of procrastination, and how to get out of the “I have too much to fix” mindset that keeps you stuck. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/439Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I thought I was deeply self-aware. I’d read the books, gone to therapy, and could explain all my patterns in perfect detail. But nothing was really changing. It wasn’t until I learned what self-awareness actually means and why understanding your story isn’t the same as understanding your mind that I finally started to experience change. In this episode, I’m teaching the first skill of the Confidence Compass: true self-awareness. You’ll learn why intellectual insight doesn’t create transformation and how to uncover the subconscious thoughts that are really driving your feelings and actions. I’ll share examples from my own life and my clients, from dating anxiety to money blocks, to show how powerful this shift can be. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/438Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

In this week’s Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two questions that get to the core of how we manage our minds. The first explores how to handle phobias, like the fear of flying, and panic attacks by changing our relationship with anxiety itself. The second dives into a meta question about thought work: could managing our thoughts turn us into sociopaths? A listener draws parallels to Elizabeth Holmes and the Theranos scandal, wondering if there's a line between healthy thought management and dangerous self-deception. You'll discover why accepting anxiety instead of resisting it changes everything, and how true thought work differs from ego-driven deception.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/437Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

You’ve hit the milestones: the degree, the dream job, the relationship that looks right on paper. But no matter how much you achieve, that deep sense of confidence still feels out of reach. That isn’t because you’re missing something; it’s because we’ve all been taught to think about confidence the wrong way. Tune in this week to discover what The Confidence Compass is and how it brings together everything I’ve learned over a decade of teaching women how to live boldly and feel grounded in who they are. This framework will help you finally build a confident life, one where you stop chasing approval and start feeling fully alive. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/436Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

You’ve done the therapy, read the books, and gained awareness, but the same anxious thoughts still run the show. This week’s Coaching Hotline episode dives into why understanding your patterns isn’t enough to change them and what’s really required to create lasting emotional shifts. I help one listener who’s been through years of therapy without relief and another who’s stuck chasing validation after a breakup. Tune in to learn why insight alone doesn’t rewire your brain, how to move from self-awareness to self-mastery, and why rejection or stuckness never means you’re broken. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/435Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Most people think confidence is just about feeling good about yourself, but that is only the beginning. In this episode, I am revisiting one of the most important concepts I have ever taught: what true confidence actually is, and what it is not. When you stop thinking of confidence as a fleeting feeling and start seeing it as a mindset and a relationship with yourself, everything changes. Listen in as I explore how women are socialized to doubt themselves, why that erodes confidence, and what true confidence requires of you.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/434Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

In this free workshop and guide, you'll learn how to stop caring what other people think so you can care more about what YOU think, and live life on YOUR terms instead.Get it for free here: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hsc

In this week's Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that get to the heart of managing our emotions and taking action despite resistance. The first listener struggles with guilt when their actions unintentionally cause someone they love pain. The second listener is trying to build a consistent thought work routine, but often doesn’t feel like doing it and avoids the work.Through hearing my answers to these questions, you’ll learn why it's not your job to manage or fix others’ emotions, and how taking responsibility for them only adds unnecessary guilt and keeps you stuck. You’ll also discover how to change your relationship with the “I don’t want to” thought and how successful people show up and take action regardless of their feelings.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/433Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!

Confidence doesn’t come from promotions, degrees, or other people telling you that you’re impressive. In this episode, I revisit one of the earliest conversations on the podcast to break down the myths about where confidence comes from and why relying on external validation alone never works.You’ll learn why starting with your past accomplishments is helpful but not enough and how the deeper work of confidence comes from developing internal trust in yourself. This episode lays the foundation for building confidence that is self-generated, resilient, and ready to support all areas of your life.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/432The Socratic Coaching Method Certification: thesocraticcoachingacademy.comFollow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheilMentioned in this episode:Learn How to Stop Caring What Other People ThinkGet this FREE workshop + guide by going to: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/hscGet the How to Stop Caring What Other People Think Workshop here!