Happiness Break: How to Be Your Own Best Friend

Show yourself real self-kindness in less than 10 minutes with this self-compassion break guided by psychologist Kristin Neff.How To Do This Practice: Identify what’s hard right now: Bring to mind a real situation that’s causing you stress, sadness, or self-criticism, something that’s currently difficult. It could be a mistake, a relationship challenge, or a feeling of not being enough. Acknowledge your pain: Notice what’s happening inside you without judgment. Gently name it: “This is hard,” or “I’m really struggling right now.” Remember you’re not alone: Remind yourself that struggle is part of being human. Say something like: “Others feel this way too,” or “It’s normal to have moments like this.” Offer yourself kindness: Bring warmth to the part of you that’s hurting. You might place a hand over your heart, hold your face gently, or clasp your hands. Physical touch helps calm the nervous system and signals care. Speak supportive words to yourself: Say something to yourself that you’d say to a good friend in the same situation like, “I’m here for you.” “It’s okay to be imperfect.” “You’re doing the best you can.” Let the compassion sink in: Take a few slow breaths. Feel your body softening. Notice any sense of calm, warmth, or ease that arises, even if it’s subtle. You can return to this practice anytime you feel overwhelmed or self-critical. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Today’s Happiness Break Guide:Dr. Kristin Neff is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin's department of educational psychology. She's also the co-author of 'Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout,' which offers tools to help individuals heal and recharge from burnout.Related Happiness Break episodes:The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8A Self-Compassion Meditation For Burnout: https://tinyurl.com/485y3b4yTap into the Joy That Surrounds You: https://tinyurl.com/2pb8ye9xRelated Science of Happiness episodes:How to Stick to Your Resolutions in 2024: https://tinyurl.com/mub9z9z4How Holding Yourself Can Reduce Stress: https://tinyurl.com/2hvhkwe6Why We Need Friends With Shared Interests: https://tinyurl.com/bp8msacjWe’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at [email protected] or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/3eep76z6

What happens when imagination meets perception, and ordinary objects come alive? We explore the science of pareidolia.Summary: Our minds are wired to find meaning, even in randomness— which is why sometimes we can see faces and patterns in everyday objects. In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we explore how this phenomenon, called pareidolia, can shift how we experience our surroundings and open ourselves to more creativity, connection, and calm.How To Do This Practice: Pause and settle: Take a few slow breaths and allow yourself to slow down. Let your mind soften its focus. Choose your space: Look around your home, your walk, or wherever you are. Everyday objects work best— walls, trees, clouds, shadows. Let curiosity lead: Notice shapes, textures, or patterns that catch your eye. Don’t try to find something, just observe. See what appears: Allow your imagination to play. Do you see a face, an animal, a tiny scene hidden in plain sight? Stay with it: Notice how it feels to find meaning in randomness. What emotions or memories come up? Reflect and return: Take a final look around. Does your space or the way you see the things around you feel any different now? Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Today’s Guests:MALIK MAYS is an Oakland-based musician who also releases music under the name Mahawam.Learn more about Malik here: https://mahawam.com/bioANTOINE BELLEMARE-PEPIN is a neuroscientist and artist, who researches the connection between pareidolia and creativity. Learn more about Antoine here: https://tinyurl.com/233w9rymRelated The Science of Happiness episodes:  The Healing Effects of Experiencing Wildlife: https://tinyurl.com/bde5av4zWhy Going Offline Might Save Us: https://tinyurl.com/e7rhsakjHow To Tune Out The Noise: https://tinyurl.com/4hhekjuhRelated Happiness Breaks:Pause to Look at the Sky: https://tinyurl.com/4jttkbw3How To Ground Yourself in Nature: https://tinyurl.com/25ftdxpmMake Uncertainty Part of the Process: https://tinyurl.com/234u5ds7Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at [email protected] or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/yzp9hykv

Dedicating a little time to tune into your body fortifies you to better handle the stresses of daily life.How To Do This Practice:  Find your space: Choose a quiet place where you feel safe and comfortable. You can sit, stand, or lie down, whatever helps you relax. If sitting, rest your hands on your thighs; if standing, let them hang by your sides. Begin with your breath: Close your eyes. Inhale slowly to a count of four, feeling your belly and chest expand. Exhale to a count of four, letting your body soften. Notice the temperature of the air as it moves in and out through your nose. Start at your feet: Bring your attention to your feet on the ground. Notice sensations— pressure, warmth, tingling. Gently wiggle your toes. On the next breath, move your awareness to your ankles and calves, then your knees, thanking them for their steady work. Move up the body: With each breath, shift attention upward. Thighs, hips, and lower back, then your stomach. Feel it rise and fall with your breath. Continue up through your back and shoulders, releasing any tension there. Soften the upper body: Turn your attention to your throat, face, and head. Relax your jaw, smooth your forehead, and feel any soft tingling at the top of your head. Then bring awareness to your hands and fingers. Close with awareness: Take a few final deep breaths. On your last exhale, open your eyes gently. Notice how your body feels and carry that awareness into the rest of your day. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Today’s Happiness Break Guide:DACHER KELTNER is the host of The Science of Happiness podcast and is a co-instructor of the Greater Good Science Center’s popular online course of the same name. He’s also a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley.Related Happiness Break episodes:A Mindful Breath Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/mr9d22krEmbodying Resilience: https://tinyurl.com/46383mhxThe Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8Related Science of Happiness episodes:Breathe Away Anxiety: https://tinyurl.com/3u7vsrr5How To Show Up For Yourself: https://tinyurl.com/56ktb9xcHow Holding Yourself Can Reduce Stress: https://tinyurl.com/2hvhkwe6Follow us on Instagram: @ScienceOfHappinessPodWe’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at [email protected] or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/4fjwac6y

We explore how embracing uncertainty enables us to move beyond climate anxiety and despair to hope and action, with author and activist Rebecca Solnit.Summary: When you think about climate change, do you feel hope? In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we examine what it means to feel hopeful for the future of our planet. Renowned writer and activist Rebecca Solnit shares why she loves uncertainty, what gives her hope, and how hope empowers her. Later, we hear from climate scientist Patrick Gonzalez about why he believes climate hope is scientifically sound, and how much power we truly have to create meaningful change.How To Do This Practice: Acknowledge the hard stuff: Hope doesn’t come from ignoring reality, it begins with honesty. Naming the fears, grief, or overwhelm we feel about climate change and life’s challenges. Remember uncertainty leads to possibility: Despair often assumes the future is fixed. But history is full of surprises and turning points. When we leave space for uncertainty, we leave space for possibility. Focus on progress, not perfection: Every step forward matters. Clean energy expanding, policies shifting, communities protecting what they love. Small and large wins alike fuel the feedback loop between hope and action. Nourish yourself with beauty, awe, and joy: A sunrise, music, dancing, kindness, or the courage of others can all awaken something bigger in us. Awe quiets despair and helps us see new ways forward. Connect with others: Hope grows when it’s shared. Joining movements, communities, or simply leaning on friends creates a sense of belonging and power. Together, the ants can move the elephant. Practice hope daily: Some days hope comes easily; other days it doesn’t. That’s normal. Journaling, noticing progress, limiting bad news, and showing up in community are all ways to keep practicing. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode. Today’s Guests:REBECCA SOLNIT is an author, activist, and historian. She has written over 20 books on Western and Indigenous history, feminism, social change, hope, and disaster.Learn more about Rebecca Solnit here: http://rebeccasolnit.net/PATRICK GONZALEZ is a climate change scientist and forest ecologist at the University of California, Berkeley.Learn more about Patrick Gonzalez here: http://www.patrickgonzalez.net/Related The Science of Happiness episodes:  Climate, Hope, & Science Series: https://tinyurl.com/pb27repThe Healing Effects of Experiencing Wildlife: https://tinyurl.com/bde5av4zRelated Happiness Breaks:How To Ground Yourself in Nature: https://tinyurl.com/25ftdxpmPause to Look at the Sky: https://tinyurl.com/4jttkbw3Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at [email protected] or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/3uw3hdk3

Zen and mindfulness teacher Henry Shukman guides us in a meditation that invites us to listen deeply and find clarity in quiet.How To Do This Practice: Find Stillness: Sit comfortably in a quiet space. Close your eyes if you’d like, and allow your body to settle. Bring Your Attention to the Present: Take a few deep breaths. Let go of to-do lists or distractions, gently arriving in this moment. Tune In to the Sounds Around You: Begin to notice the soundscape of your environment. Near or far, loud or soft. Don’t judge or label the sounds, just hear them. Notice Background Silence: Beyond individual sounds, sense the quiet in which all sounds arise. This isn’t just an absence of noise, it’s a felt sense of stillness. Soak in the Quiet: Rest your awareness in this space of quiet. Let it wash over you, soften you, and bring you back to yourself. Gently Return: When you're ready, bring small movements back to your body. Wiggle your fingers or stretch. Open your eyes and carry this quiet awareness into the rest of your day. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Today’s Happiness Break Guide:Henry Shukman, is a poet, mindfulness teacher, and author of Original Love: The Four Inns on the Path of Awakening. Learn more about Shukman’s work: https://henryshukman.com/aboutOrder his book, Original Love: The Four Inns on the Path of Awakening: https://tinyurl.com/mwv5cuxrRelated Happiness Break episodes:A Mindful Breath Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/mr9d22krA Meditation for When You Feel Uneasy: https://tinyurl.com/4x27ut3pFind Calm When You Can’t Clear Your Mind: https://tinyurl.com/3u8k2j8hA Meditation on Original Love and Interconnectedness: https://tinyurl.com/ye6baxv3Related Science of Happiness episodes:How To Tune Out The Noise: https://tinyurl.com/4hhekjuhHow To Show Up For Yourself: https://tinyurl.com/56ktb9xcHow Holding Yourself Can Reduce Stress: https://tinyurl.com/2hvhkwe6Follow us on Instagram: @ScienceOfHappinessPodWe’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at [email protected] or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/3bs7udur

Learn why uncertainty fuels anxiety and how noticing our body’s stress signals can help us find calm.Summary: One in five adults in the U.S. report living with anxiety, and many of us struggle to control or avoid the feelings that come with it. Science shows that tuning into the body, rather than resisting discomfort, can actually reduce anxiety and strengthen resilience. Join us on The Science of Happiness as we explore what anxiety teaches us about control, uncertainty, and how to care for ourselves with more compassion.How To Do This Practice: Create a quiet moment for yourself: Find a space where you won’t be interrupted—even just for 30 seconds. Close the door, silence your phone, and step away from distractions. Take a deep breath in: Begin with one slow, steady inhale. On the exhale, let your body soften. Keep your breathing gentle, not forced. Do a quick scan: Where are you holding stress? Maybe in your chest, shoulders, or jaw. Simply notice the tightness or pressure without trying to change it. Breathe into those sensations: With each inhale, imagine sending your breath to the place where stress lives in your body. With each exhale, release a little of that tension—like letting it flow out. Name what’s on your mind: Ask yourself: What am I feeling? Am I anxious about the past, worried about the future, or caught up in uncertainty? You don’t need to solve or fix anything—just acknowledge it. Let it go, even briefly: Tell yourself, I don’t have to fix this right now. Allow the stress to soften as you exhale. Even 20–30 seconds can bring a sense of calm and clarity. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Today’s Guests: JENNY LITTLE is a Health and Fitness Director at the Albany YMCA.DR. ELISSA EPEL is a psychologist and professor at UCSF. Her research shows how chronic stress and anxiety affect our bodies at the cellular level.Learn more about Dr. Elissa Epel here: https://www.elissaepel.com/Related The Science of Happiness episodes:  How Holding Yourself Can Reduce Stress: https://tinyurl.com/2hvhkwe6Hot to Tap Your Way to Calm and Clarity: https://tinyurl.com/psmskjypHow To Tune Out The Noise: https://tinyurl.com/4hhekjuhRelated Happiness Breaks:Make Uncertainty Part of the Process: https://tinyurl.com/234u5ds7A Meditation for When You Feel Uneasy: https://tinyurl.com/4x27ut3pA Meditation For When You Have Too Much To Do: https://tinyurl.com/5dvk3d7mTell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at [email protected] or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/mskvfmv4

When was the last time you thought about your ancestors? This guided meditation by Indigenous scholar Yuria Celidwen will help you connect to your heritage and reap the potent benefits of remembering your roots.How To Do This Practice: Arrive and Center: Find a comfortable position. Close your eyes if you’d like. Place your attention at the center of your chest. Notice how your chest expands as you inhale, pauses, and gently releases as you exhale. Rest in that pause between breaths. Open the Heart Space: Imagine your chest softening and opening. With each breath, sense a feeling of spaciousness there. Let this space become an anchor to return to. Invite Your Lineage: In that pause of breath, bring awareness to your ancestors. Elders of the past, present, and those yet to come. Acknowledge the richness and complexity of your lineage.  Remember Origin Stories: Call to mind the stories of your elders and their elders before them. Picture their journeys, the lands they once touched, and the lives they carried forward. Imagine their footsteps across the earth, leading to where you stand today. Connect Land and Heart: Visualize the lands your ancestors belonged to. The soils, waters, and skies that sustained them. Bring those lands into the center of your chest, merging them with your breath, your heart, and your pause. Feel the connection ripple from them to you, and from you back to them. Rest in Home and Belonging: Let the word home echo silently in your heart. With each breath, feel this home expand outward—into belonging, togetherness, and care for all living beings and for the Earth itself. Rest in that pulse of vastness and possibility. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Today’s Happiness Break Guide: DR. YURIA CELIDWEN is an indigenous scholar of contemplative studies, and author of the book, Flourishing Kin: Indigenous Foundations For Collective Well-Being.Learn more about Dr. Celidwen: https://www.yuriacelidwen.com/Related Happiness Break episodes:Where Did You Come From: https://tinyurl.com/2y9uyjj6How To Tune Into Water’s Restorative Power: https://tinyurl.com/2k6ybzrsHow To Ground Yourself in Nature: https://tinyurl.com/25ftdxpmRelated Science of Happiness episodes:Are You Following Your Inner Compass: https://tinyurl.com/y2bh8vvjHow Water Heals: https://tinyurl.com/utuhrnh3Follow us on Instagram: @ScienceOfHappinessPodWe’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at [email protected] or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/ycy9xazc

Even just a few minutes of dancing can shift energy, release emotions, and remind us to care for ourselves while we care for others.Summary: Dance isn’t just fun—it’s scientifically shown to make us happier, ease stress, and strengthen social bonds. From swaying in the kitchen to joining a community class, movement helps us regulate our nervous systems and reconnect with joy. In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we explore what the science says about how dancing supports well-being for parents, caregivers, and families.How To Do This Practice:  Pick a Song You Love: Choose music that makes you want to move. Even if it’s just a little sway. It could be something upbeat or a song from your childhood that feels comforting. Start Small: Give yourself permission to move for just five minutes. No pressure to “work out”—the goal is to shift your energy and lift your mood. Follow Your Body: Sway, step, shake, or spin. There’s no right or wrong way. Let your body lead instead of worrying about looking a certain way. Play with Pausing: Try stopping mid-song for a “freeze” moment, then move again. Pausing helps build awareness, self-control, and a sense of play. Invite Connection: If you have kids, family, or friends around, pull them into the movement. Science shows that dancing together strengthens bonds and amplifies joy. Release and Reset: Notice how you feel after moving— lighter, calmer, maybe more grounded. Let dance be a way to release tension and return to your day with more energy. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Today’s Guests:  MAGDALENE MARTINEZ is a licensed clinical social worker who works with children, teens and adults. Learn more about Magdalene here: https://www.oceandustwellness.com/DR. ÖZGE UGURLU is a behavioral scientist in the social interaction lab at UC Berkeley. Her research centers on emotions, self-control, and child development.Add Dr. Ugurlu on Linkedin here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ozge-ugurluRelated The Science of Happiness episodes:  Caring for Caregivers Series: https://tinyurl.com/4k2hv47jOur Caring for Caregivers series is supported by the Van Leer Foundation, an independent Dutch organization working globally to foster inclusive societies where all children and communities can flourish. To discover more insights from Van Leer Foundation and others on this topic, visit Early Childhood Matters, the leading platform for advancing topics on early childhood development and connecting diverse voices and ideas across disciplines that support the wellbeing of babies, toddlers and caregivers around the globe.Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at [email protected] or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/2ma3f4k7

Through breath, compassion, and kind words to yourself, this guided meditation helps you forgive yourself, let go, and move forward with love.How To Do This Practice: Get Comfortable: Sit upright but relaxed. Close your eyes or soften your gaze, and take a few slow, deep breaths. Inhale gently through your nose and slowly, twice as long, through your mouth. Bring Something to Mind: Think of a mistake, harsh word, or regret you’re holding against yourself. Notice how it feels in your body, without judging it. Acknowledge What Happened: Silently say to yourself: “I acknowledge that I made this mistake.” Take a breath. Remember Your Humanity: Remind yourself: “I am human. Being human means I will sometimes fall short.” Offer Forgiveness: Place a hand over your heart (or somewhere comforting) and repeat: “I forgive myself for this. May I learn from it and move forward.” Close with Kindness: Breathe deeply. Once more, say: “I forgive myself. May I treat myself with kindness.”  Check In with Your Body Again: Notice if anything feels lighter or softer—maybe your breath, your shoulders, or your chest. Allow yourself to rest in that shift, however small. Take one final deep breath: When you feel ready, gently open your eyes and return to your day. Scroll down for a transcription of this episode. Today’s Happiness Break Guide:DACHER KELTNER is the host of The Science of Happiness podcast and is a co-instructor of the Greater Good Science Center’s popular online course of the same name. He’s also a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley.Related Happiness Break episodes:A Meditation on Original Love: https://tinyurl.com/5u298cv4Who Takes Care of You: https://tinyurl.com/5xmfkf73A Note to Self on Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/y53tkn87Related Science of Happiness episodes:Nine Steps to Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/vb7kk5kyHow to Show Up For Yourself: https://tinyurl.com/56ktb9xcThis episode is part of "Putting the Science of Forgiveness into Practice," a multiyear project run by the Greater Good Science Center and supported by the Templeton World Charity Foundation (TWCF). Learn more about forgiveness on TWCF's Discover Forgiveness website.Follow us on Instagram: @ScienceOfHappinessPodWe’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at [email protected] or use the hashtag #happinesspod.Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapHelp us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/yh2a5urt

Research shows that simple practices such as self-hugs, soothing touch, and hand-to-heart can calm the nervous system, supporting caregivers and the children in their care.Summary: From parents to teachers, caregiving can be overwhelming and exhausting. This episode of The Science of Happiness dives into simple touch-based strategies that promote calm, reduce stress, and foster stronger connections. Researchers share how even brief moments of self-soothing or supportive touch can improve mental and physical health for caregivers and children. How To Do This Practice:  Sit or stand comfortably and take a moment to notice your body. Soften your jaw and shoulders. If it feels safe, close your eyes or lower your gaze. Place one hand on your belly, both hands over your heart, or give yourself a self-hug— whatever feels most comfortable and natural. Let the weight of your hands feel steady and supportive. Take a slow inhale through your nose and a longer exhale through your mouth. Silently repeat a kind phrase to yourself, like “How can I be a friend to myself today?” and “It’s okay to make mistakes.” Feel the warmth and weight of your hands. On each exhale, invite a little ease into your face, shoulders, belly, and back. Notice any tiny shift toward calm. Wrap your arms around your torso and apply comfortable pressure, finishing with a gentle self-hug before returning to your day.  Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.Today’s Guests:THERESA ALEXANDER is a pre-K teacher based in Arlington, Virginia, with nearly 20 years of teaching experience. She’s also a new mother.MICHAEL BANISSY is a psychology professor at University of Bristol and the author of “Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being.”Learn more about Michael here: https://www.banissy.com/Related The Science of Happiness episodes:  Caring for Caregivers Series: https://tinyurl.com/4k2hv47jRelated Happiness Breaks:The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8Our Caring for Caregivers series is supported by the Van Leer Foundation, an independent Dutch organization working globally to foster inclusive societies where all children and communities can flourish. To discover more insights from Van Leer Foundation and others on this topic, visit Early Childhood Matters, the leading platform for advancing topics on early childhood development and connecting diverse voices and ideas across disciplines that support the wellbeing of babies, toddlers and caregivers around the globe.Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at [email protected] or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aapTranscription: https://tinyurl.com/4ppzs8kw