Public Speaking 101: How Tristan de Montebello Mastered Public Speaking in 7 Months

Elite athletes don’t just train harder. They recover better. Between points, plays, and games, they use small, intentional rituals to reset their bodies and minds so they can perform again at a high level. In this episode, Jay Papasan makes the case that business owners and leaders need the same approach. Inspired by a classic Harvard Business Review article, Jay breaks down the difference between habits, systems, routines, and rituals—and why rituals stand apart. Habits and systems automate outcomes. Rituals create meaning. That meaning helps us shift emotional states, regain focus, and sustain energy over the long haul. Jay walks through four key areas where rituals matter most: physical recovery, emotional regulation, mental clarity, and connection to purpose and values. From walking meetings and white space to end-of-day transitions and goal-setting retreats, these practices help prevent burnout while improving results. The takeaway is simple: if you want rituals of performance, you need rituals of recovery. The goal isn’t just a great year—it’s a great career.  Shoutout to Anne-Laure LeCunff, author of Tiny Experiments and our guest in episode #497, whose writing on habits, routines, and rituals added depth and scientific grounding to this episode, even though it wasn’t called out during the recording.  Listen to that episode of the podcast here. Also, read Anne-Laure LeCunff’s fantastic article, Why Your Brain Needs Everyday Rituals. Challenge of the Week: Design one new ritual that adds recovery or meaning to your day. Put it on your calendar and protect it. We talk about: [00:00] What Elite Athletes Teach Us About High Performance [03:45] Habits vs. Routines vs. Rituals [12:35]  The Importance of Recovery in Any Profession [14:02] A Ritual for Regulation: Emotional Clarity & Composure [16:10]  A Ritual of Transition: From Work to Home [20:02] How Can YOU Build Rituals Into Your Life? [22:40] Rituals to Realign with Your Core Values [28:27] What One Ritual Could You Add to Improve Everything Else You Do? *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Why elite performers recover faster than everyone else The difference between habits, routines, systems, and rituals How recovery rituals actually increase performance Links & Tools from This Episode: The Making of a Corporate Athlete (Harvard Business Review) The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Listen: Permission to Pause: Reclaim Your Identity Outside of Work with Jen Davis  Produced by NOVA

Public speaking consistently ranks as one of our biggest fears, but what if the real issue isn’t technique at all? In this episode, Jay sits down with Tristan de Montebello, co-founder of Ultraspeaking, to explore why confidence breaks down when we communicate and how to rebuild it from the inside out. Tristan shares his rapid journey from beginner to finalist in the World Championship of Public Speaking and the lessons that reshaped how he thinks about mastery, coaching, and performance. Together, they unpack the idea of “leaking” insecurity, why audiences feel it instantly, and how small moments like pausing, blanking, or making mistakes can actually build trust when handled with confidence. The conversation moves beyond stages and spotlights into everyday moments: meetings, conversations, questions left unasked, and opportunities we quietly avoid. This episode is about learning to stay present, trusting what’s already inside you, and stepping into discomfort long enough to let your best thinking show up. Challenge of the Week: Volunteer for something without fully preparing. Raise your hand, ask the question, or take the turn you’d normally avoid and notice what shows up when you stay confident anyway. We talk about: [00:00] Intro: What is Ultraspeaking? [02:21] What People Get Wrong About Public Speaking [04:33] Why Do “Quick Fixes” Not Help in Speaking? [05:58] Speaking Is About One Thing: Psychology [08:28] Are You Leaking Your Insecurity? The Impact of Stumbling in a Speech [10:28] Small Signals of Confidence - How to Stop Leaking [18:47] Tristan’s Journey at The World Championship of Public Speaking [24:16] The Truth about Great Public Speakers [36:16] Your Weekly Challenge *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Why confidence leaks before technique ever matters The role of coaching and deliberate discomfort in mastery How staying present changes the way people receive your message Links & Tools from This Episode: Ultraspeaking Website  World Championships of Public Speaking The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

How do you stay afloat when everything is falling apart? Life can - and will - hit you hard. And how can you lead others when you feel like you can’t lead yourself? This week, Jay sits down for an interview with Tiffany Fykes and Sarah Reynolds from Empire Building, to share some of the deeply personal hardships he has navigated in the past several years, and opens up about what it really looks like to lead when your systems, confidence, and energy are all under strain. Rather than pretending strength means pushing through alone, Jay shares how adversity can become an ally if you’re willing to learn from it. He introduces the idea of building “lighthouses”: simple frameworks, reframes, and support systems that help you navigate future storms with more clarity and less damage. You’ll hear why reframing self-talk matters most when standards feel impossible, how recalibrating expectations can keep you moving forward, and why re-engineering your village is essential for sustainable leadership. This conversation is an honest reminder that extraordinary results don’t come from avoiding storms, but from learning how to lead through them with grace, transparency, and purpose. Challenge of the Week: Take one challenge you’re facing right now and turn it into a solution. Then ask: can this solution become a simple framework, checklist, or ritual for my future self? We talk about: [00:00] Introduction to Empire Building and Jay Papasan[03:38] Jay's Personal Storm[10:00] Building Lighthouses and Helping Others[15:50] Reframing Standards and Recalibrating Priorities [20:42] What Does “Doing Your Best” Actually Mean Right Now[24:17]  How Do You Re-Engineer Your Support System[34:00] What Changes When You Build Rituals of Connection[37:46] Why Coaching is so Important  *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: How to reframe adversity without lowering your standards   Why done is good and good is great in hard seasons   The power of intentionally rebuilding your support system Links & Tools from This Episode: The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan   Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy   Empire Building podcast Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

Big goals have a way of starting strong and slowly falling apart. Motivation fades. Life intervenes. Momentum stalls. In this episode, Jay Papasan shares what actually separates the people who follow through from those who stay stuck in restart mode. After studying more than 400 entrepreneurs and business owners who went through The First Domino program, Jay distills their success into five repeatable commitments. This is not about working harder or piling on more habits. It’s about design. Alignment before action. Simplicity before scale. Jay explains how identifying your first domino, the small but meaningful action that starts momentum, creates progress even on your worst days. He walks through why time blocking turns intention into execution, how defending your calendar protects what matters most, and why accountability beats willpower every time. If you’ve ever felt busy but not effective, driven but burned out, this episode offers a clearer path forward. Small actions. Smart structure. Consistent momentum. Challenge of the Week: Make a commitment to apply the five practices from this episode for the year ahead. Ask yourself: Are my goals truly in alignment with what matters most to me? Have I gone upstream far enough to identify my real first domino? Have I put that action on my calendar? Am I actively defending it over time? And do I have some form of accountability beyond just relying on my own willpower? We talk about: [00:00] Introduction and Welcome [03:16] Defining the First Domino [04:28] Principle One: Alignment [09:58] Principle Two: Focus [20:05] Principle Three: Time Blocking [25:35] Principle Four: Defend [32:22] Principle Five: Commit [40:39] Conclusion and Call to Action *** Sign Up for The First Domino Course Here We talk about: Why alignment prevents burnout before it starts How to find the first domino that actually creates momentum The role of time blocking and accountability in keeping promises to yourself Links & Tools from This Episode: Sign Up for The First Domino Course Jordan Freed’s Website Warren Buffett, Chairperson of Berkshire Hathaway Core Values Workshop & Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

For years, Jen Davis did what high performers are taught to do. Say yes. Move faster. Carry more responsibility. Lead at a high level and keep pushing. From the outside, her career looked like the definition of success. Then she was forced to pause. And that pause completely shifted her thinking. She had been running full speed ahead, without realizing the impact it was having on the things that matter most to her - her family. In this conversation, Jay Papasan sits down with Jen to talk about the moment she realized her calendar no longer reflected her priorities, her identity had become tied to her work, and margin had disappeared from her life. Stepping away from running one of the largest coaching organizations in the industry wasn’t about quitting. It was about creating space to think, to feel, and to reconnect with who she wanted to be as a mom, leader, and human being. Jen shares what surprised her most during the pause, why busyness can be a form of self-soothing, and how decision fatigue quietly erodes both joy and clarity. Together, she and Jay unpack the difference between reacting and responding, the power of reflection, and why 15 minutes of intentional thinking can become the first domino toward a healthier, more grounded life. Challenge of the Week:  Set a timer for 15 minutes. Put your phone face down in another part of the room. No scrolling. No reading. No to-do lists. Just sit with your thoughts and decide what truly matters today.  *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. Links & Tools from This Episode: Visit Jen Davis’s Website The Road Less Stupid by Keith Cunningham Follow our friend Jordan Freed on Instagram Dr. Robyne Hanley-Defoe Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

We’re closing out the year with a special highlight reel from some of Jay Papasan’s favorite conversations of 2025, all centered on two big themes: taking action and sustaining action. On the “taking action” side, Jenny Wood reframes fear as a signal of agency, Pat Flynn walks us through his “DeLorean” future-casting exercise, and Sahil Bloom challenges us to let our calendars prove what truly matters. Morgan Housel explores defining “enough” beyond money, Brandon Turner breaks big dreams into MINS—most important next steps—and Anne-Laure invites us to lower the stakes with tiny experiments instead of perfectionism. On the “sustaining action” side, Coach Jordan Freed shares his awareness–agency–accountability cycle, Chris explains why self-care is a strategy (not selfish), Dr. Robin Hanley-Defoe shows how to process emotion in real time, and Liz Bohannon gives us a practical path to building real community. Revisit the moments that moved you most, then dive into the full episodes linked in the show notes to go deeper and share them with someone who needs them. Challenge of the Week: Pick one lesson from this episode and turn it into a simple daily practice for the next week. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: [00:00] Why This Episode Exists and What We’re Reflecting On [01:44] Fear as a Compass and a Source of Agency (Jenny Wood) [06:01] Using the DeLorean Exercise to Gain Perspective [09:31] What Would a Stranger Say About Your Priorities (Sahil Bloom) [12:05] Defining Enough Beyond Money [14:29] What Is the Most Important Next Step (MINS) [17:21] Why Consistency Is Intensity (Gary Keller) [21:20] Lowering the Stakes with Tiny Experiments (Anne-Laure Le Cunff) [24:51] How Long Success Really Takes (Dorie Clark) [30:11]  Why Self-Care Is a Strategy, Not a Reward (Chris, The Long Haul Leader) [34:04] Processing Emotion Instead of Carrying It (Dr. Robin Hanley-Defoe) [37:26] Building Community Through Consistent Rhythms [42:53] Choosing One Lesson and Carrying It Forward Links & Tools from This Episode: The Unconventional Traits That Fast-Track Success | Jenny Wood and Jay Papasan Why Smart People Stay Stuck in "Getting Ready" Mode | Pat Flynn & Jay Papasan Define Success on Your Own Terms | Sahil Bloom & Jay Papasan The Art of Spending Money (And Why Most of Us Get It Wrong) | Morgan Housel & Jay Papasan How to 6X Your Goals Using The ONE Thing | Jay Papasan & Brandon Turner Tiny Experiments: The Neuroscience of Getting Unstuck | Anne-Laure Le Cunff and Jay Papasan The Way: 5 Principles That Create Extraordinary Results | Gary Keller & Jay Papasan The 10 BOLD Truths for Building an Amazing Life | Gary Keller & Jay Papasan How to Win The Long Game (When Everyone Else Plays Short) | Jay Papasan & Dorie Clark The 4 Hidden Thieves Destroying Your Productivity | Jay Papasan & Jordan Freed How to Lead for the Long Haul Without Burning Out | Jay Papasan & Chris Ducker Why High Achievers Burn Out (and What to Do About It) Leadership’s Hidden Cost: Loneliness - And How to Build Real Community | Jay Papasan & Liz Bohannon Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

So much of life runs on a “default” operating system—school, work, productivity tools, even your phone. But what happens when that default just doesn’t work for you? In this episode, Jay Papasan sits down with BestSelf Co. founder Cathryn Lavery to talk about being diagnosed with ADHD at 31, realizing she was a “Mac forced to run PC software,” and how she began designing systems that actually matched her brain. Cathryn shares the INCUP framework (interest, novelty, challenge, urgency, passion) and how she uses gamification, short time frames, and keystone habits to stay focused. You’ll hear the origin story of the wildly successful BestSelf Journal, the shift from being a “product company” to a “problem company,” and how relationship struggles inspired tools like the Intimacy Deck and other conversation decks. Challenge of the Week: Start a “problem log” in the notes app on your phone. For the next week, capture every small friction or annoyance in your day—personal, work, or relationships. At the end of the week, review your list and ask: Which of these problems am I uniquely suited to solve? *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. Links & Tools from This Episode: Learn more about BestSelf Co. BestSelf Journal Intimacy Deck Self-Discovery Deck Core Values Deck Helm Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

Are you choosing the right book for the season you’re in—or just grabbing whatever looks interesting? In this solo episode, Jay Papasan walks through the ten books he recommends and gifts more than any others. These are not simply his “favorites”—they’re the books that shaped his craft as a writer, helped him level up as an entrepreneur, grounded him in discipline, clarified his thinking about money, and strengthened his understanding of character and growth.  Jay shares why "The War of Art" has become an annual reread for so many, how Peter Drucker’s "Managing Oneself" can reset your approach to personal mastery, why Ryan Holiday’s "The Obstacle Is the Way" remains essential for anyone doing hard things, and how Morgan Housel and JL Collins make the world of money simple, sane, and actionable. He also covers his top writing books, the research-backed lessons of Adam Grant, and the beautifully illustrated gift book he’s given to hundreds of clients. Challenge of the Week:   Ask yourself: "What is the book I need for this season of my life?" Read for what you need—not for what’s trending. Choose one book, commit to it, and let it gift you something you’ll someday pass forward. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Why certain books become “sacred shelf” books Jay returns to again and again How creativity, discipline, money, and character are shaped by what we read How to choose the ONE book you need right now based on the season you’re in Books Mentioned: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield Managing Oneself by Peter Drucker The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday On Writing by Stephen King The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel Your First 1000 Copies by Tim Grahl Give and Take by Adam Grant The Simple Path to Wealth by J.L. Collins Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy Links & Tools from This Episode: Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything “right”? Performing at a high level, meeting everyone’s expectations, carrying the load—and yet still feel yourself slowly wearing down? It’s more common than you might realize—and there’s a way out. Jay Papasan is joined by behavioral psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe to unpack why the people who look the strongest are often the most at risk for burnout. She calls it “the curse of the strong”—the slow erosion that happens when high achievers overuse the very muscles that once made them successful. Together, they explore why burnout isn’t just about workload, but about losing agency, operating outside your values, and ignoring the subtle signs your body sends long before the collapse. Dr. Hanley-Dafoe shares practical, compassionate strategies to prevent burnout, restore alignment, and regain control—from tiny daily decisions to intentional pauses, grounding techniques, and value-based prioritization. Challenge of the Week:Look at your to-do list. If you have more than three items, you’re writing fiction. Remove one thing. Delegate it, delay it, or release it completely—and notice how much agency returns with that single act. To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about:  Why high performers are uniquely vulnerable to burnout    How agency, choice, and language shape resilience    The role of values alignment in preventing exhaustion and cynicism Links & Tools from This Episode: Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe  Follow Dr. Hanley-Dafoe on Instagram: @dr_robynehd Her Books: Calm Within the Storm  Stress Wisely Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

We all want to make a difference — but how do you start giving when life already feels full? In this solo episode, Jay Papasan shares his personal “5 Step Giving Framework,” a simple and strategic way to turn good intentions into consistent action. Drawing from research, experience, and years of purposeful practice with his wife, Wendy, Jay outlines how gratitude, time, money, leadership, and wealth form a natural progression in becoming a generous, fulfilled person. You’ll hear stories of everyday generosity, examples from inspiring philanthropists, and practical steps for integrating giving into your daily routine — even when resources are tight. The goal isn’t just to give more, but to give smarter and more intentionally. Challenge of the Week:For the next seven days, be purposefully thankful to one person each day. Write a note, say it out loud, or send a message — and notice how that simple act of gratitude shifts your energy and perspective. To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: The research-backed benefits of giving Jay’s 5 Step Giving Framework How small, consistent acts create big impact Links & Tools from This Episode: Give and Take by Adam Grant KW Cares & KW NextGen Follow Jay on Instagram Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA