How to Ditch Power Struggles #63

In this episode, Jon tackles one of the most anxiety-provoking parenting topics: kids and secrets—and why secrecy can feel so loaded for both children and parents. Centered on the idea that the most powerful word in a child’s world isn’t rule or consequence, but promise, he explains how secrecy hooks into loyalty, safety, and attachment long before kids have the brain development to navigate those tensions.Parents will walk away with clarity on the difference between privacy, surprises, and secrets, insight into why “just tell me” often backfires, and a calmer, more protective framework for becoming the kind of adult their child wants to tell when something really matters.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

This episode is a departure from Jon’s usual Q&A format—a reflective, narrative-style episode that zooms out to explore how words quietly shape who our kids believe they are. Beginning with the now-famous classroom experiment by Jane Elliott, Jon traces how labels don’t just describe behavior—they produce it, often long after the moment has passed.Parents will walk away with a deeper awareness of how subtle cues, implied expectations, and everyday language shape a child’s nervous system, identity, and sense of possibility—and a gentler, more curious lens for noticing which versions of their kids (and themselves) are being invited to exist. Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode, Jon unpacks the moment every parent dreads—when a child looks at you and says, “You can’t make me.” Rather than framing it as defiance or disrespect, he explores what’s actually happening in a child’s nervous system when power struggles show up. Parents will walk away with a calmer lens, a clearer understanding of why control battles escalate, and practical ways to lead with confidence, reduce friction, and protect connection—without giving up boundaries. Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

Find out YOUR Parenting Type CLICK HEREIn this episode, Jon introduces the Seeker parent: the caregiver driven by curiosity, depth, and a longing for what feels real and alive. Centered on the tension between freedom and responsibility, he explores how authenticity can become both a gift and a hiding place, especially when big feelings or obligations feel suffocating. Parents will walk away feeling deeply seen, with language for their restlessness, insight into how emotional intensity shows up in parenting, and reassurance that their unfinishedness is not a flaw, but a source of connection, creativity, and trust. Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

Find out YOUR Parenting Type CLICK HERE'In this episode, Jon introduces the Driver parent: the caregiver who leads with momentum, decisiveness, and an instinct to move things forward. Grounded in the belief that safety comes from action, he explores how strength can quietly turn into control when vulnerability feels risky. Parents will walk away with language for their leadership instincts, insight into how power and connection can coexist, and reassurance that slowing down doesn’t diminish their strength—it makes it usable.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

Find out YOUR Parenting Type CLICK HEREIn this episode, Jon introduces the Nurturer parent—the caregiver who leads with empathy, emotional attunement, and an instinct to make everyone feel okay. Centered on the tension between care and self-erasure, he names how deep connection can quietly slide into over-responsibility, especially when worth gets tied to being needed. Parents will walk away feeling deeply understood, with language for their strengths, clarity around their blind spots, and reassurance that their value was never meant to be earned through endless giving.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

Find our YOUR Parenting Type CLICK HEREIn this episode, Jon introduces the Guardian parent, the first of four parenting types, describing caregivers who lead with responsibility, structure, and a deep commitment to safety. Grounded in the idea that “control produces order, but trust produces rest,” he explores how early experiences shape a Guardian’s instinct to hold everything together. Parents will walk away feeling deeply seen, with language for their patterns, compassion for their nervous system, and clarity about how to loosen their grip without losing what matters most.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode we explore why parenting resolutions usually fail and show how timing, identity, and community make change stick. We share concrete scripts, fresh start tactics, and small habits that turn calm, respectful parenting into a daily identity.• why routines and status quo bias keep us stuck• habit loops that trade short-term relief for long-term regret• fresh start effect and the power of specific plans• identity statements that reshape daily choices• practical if-then scripts for hot moments with kids• how environment design lowers friction• the role of community and accountability• listener resolutions as social proof and motivationSend us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode, Jon slows the conversation down to sit with one parent’s deeply human question: what do our kids actually remember when we’re struggling? Responding to a mom navigating her first Christmas after separation, he unpacks why toddlers don’t store memories the way we fear—and why repair matters more than perfection. Parents will leave with relief, neuroscience-backed reassurance, and a clearer understanding of how safety, emotional honesty, and returning to connection shape a child far more than a tense moment ever could. Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode, Jon reflects on the ROUGH moments at family gatherings where love, history, and boundaries collide.... especially when you’re parenting in front of the people who raised you. Anchored in the reminder that “love does not require you to violate your boundaries,” he walks through real parent questions about food comments, gift overload, and forced affection. Parents will leave feeling less alone, more grounded in their authority, and clearer about how to protect their kids without carrying everyone else’s feelings.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube