307. The perfect partner (Part I)

This week’s episode is part one of a deep dive into romantic relationships – the interest in them, the fear of them, and the frustrations of having them. In this first half of the two-part series, a participant speaks to the belief that men will not be interested in her romantically. When Tom asks what her mind is using as proof for that concept, she identifies the thought that men only look at the surface of a person, never deeper. This is one of those concepts that, from a certain perspective, seems pretty fair. But how does it affect us when we are actively seeking a romantic relationship while simultaneously believing this kind of thought? This inquirer notices how it undercuts the whole process of meeting people, infusing it with a sense of defensiveness. As Tom sometimes points out, we are free to continue believing whatever stories we like. And the invitation in this episode is to question the ones that bring stress into our lives.

This week on Love Is The Power, Tom invites participants to notice the habit of trying to control things in life. Money, love, security, health… You name it, the ego will attempt to control it. It can be so liberating to look at this pattern and notice what it actually does to our lives. Does it empower us? Does it relax us? Or does it cause stress and fear? As Tom points out, living is like surfing. And this habit can cause us to attempt to control the wave instead of riding it. It could be that as soon as we let go of the need for control, life becomes light again and we remember our freedom to live playfully and joyfully. If you want to find out for yourself, enjoy this week’s episode on learning to respond to the wave of life.

This week’s episode brings you one of Tom’s favourite questions to pose: What, if it were true, would give you a big fat ‘YES’ to life? In a popcorn-style meditation, the group explores this question and comes out with some profound answers to what the nature of creation would have to be in order for it to feel good. For example, it would have to be true that no one can actually be permanently harmed. Or, life would have to not be serious. Could it be that these desires we have for reality are actually reality itself, and only our internalized beliefs stand in the way of us and the life we’d like to be living? Could it be that the answer to, “What’s it all about,” is whatever we want it to be about? What would give you a ‘yes’ to life? 

This week’s episode explores the popular concept of having a fair share. As humans, we can get pretty touchy if we believe someone is getting more than their ‘fair share’ of something, and pretty stressed if we believe that we have more than our fair share (whether of money, time, privilege, luck, etc.) One of the great things about self-inquiry is that we get to really get into these commonly held concepts and take a good, long look at them. Is there actually such a thing as a fair share? Is that how this Universe is set up? How do we react when we think that’s how it is? How does it affect us? Does it allow us to show up the way we’d really like to? Or does it end up contributing to more miserliness in the world? Who might you be without this story?

Welcome back from summer vacation, Love Is The Power listeners! We’re easing into September this week with a meditation and group style inquiry led by Tom on noticing some of our favourite ways to stop ourselves from living in harmony with life, and questioning those root beliefs. The inquiry goes from looking at the simple belief that it isn’t possible to live in harmony with life given specific sets of circumstances to studying a pattern of feeling hurt by other people. As Tom points out, the mind will often minimize the positive effects of peace. But could it be true that taking care of our own inner world and questioning the thoughts that disrupt our ability to live in harmony with everything around us is one of the best ways to serve the world?

This week’s episode is an exploration of the search for freedom. For those of us who find ourselves on some kind of spiritual path, practicing techniques that allow us to expand into truer, fuller expressions of what we really are, it can be tempting to identify as ‘seekers.’ Usually what we’re seeking is a sense of freedom. One such seeker poses the question in this episode, “Is there such a thing as freedom?” All the mystics – ancient and modern – say there is. But why is it so hard to find it? And how does it connect to the idea of free will? Are we actually controlling the events of our life? Could it be that real freedom comes from releasing the “I” that thinks it needs to manage everything? Join in the group inquiry, get still, and notice what arises within in response to these questions.

This week’s episode explores subconscious beliefs and how to empty the reservoir of the unconscious mind. Using self inquiry, we’re continuing last week’s exploration of the mind’s tendency to divide things under the labels of ‘me’ and ‘not me.’ How do we live when our life experience is ruled by those concepts? What if what we’ve been believing ourselves to be is nothing but a fictitious character? And who might we be if we opened our minds enough to experience ourselves without these stories? Could it be that who we are is much broader, much more expensive, than we’ve allowed ourselves to imagine?

This week’s episode is the 300th episode of Love Is The Power! So we thought we’d tackle a big question: What is real? At Tom’s invitation, we are looking at our own direct experience in this moment to see if we can actually find a border between ourselves and anything – or anyone – else. The tendency to refer to things outside the body as “Not me” is a long, long habit of humanity. But what if it’s true that separation is just a belief? What if it’s not a fact of life? And what amazing avenues of existing might we discover beyond this illusory thought?

This week Tom invites participants to share some of their favourite stories to tell that make them miserable. One share uncovers the thought “I could lose something” which becomes a group popcorn-style inquiry. If you know what it’s like to live from the fear of losing something, or out of fear in general, this contemplation is for you. How do you react when you believe you could lose something vital (like your job, house, partner, child, parent, health)? Does the thought bring peace or stress into your life? Who might you be without it?

In this week’s episode of Love Is the Power, Tom invites participants to contemplate this question: Is it true that what you’re living right now – whatever it is, exactly as it is – is not the best thing for you? Can you absolutely know that? This profound group inquiry delves deeply into the question, all the way to the worst imaginable realities one might live. One of these situations is one Tom lived through himself, and he elaborates on how it ended up being the best thing for him and his family to experience. Could it be that the things we’re most afraid of are nothing but portals into an unconditionally loving existence?