#296: It’s time to stop owning other people’s problems.

For the 300th episode, Ben tackles one of the most common challenges thoughtful leaders face: dealing with strong personalities at work. These colleagues may be direct, dominant, or results-focused - all traits that can feel intimidating or frustrating. Ben shares five practical tips, from avoiding direct confrontation to preparing well for interactions, so thoughtful leaders can hold their ground without trying to overcompensate or act like someone else. He reminds us that strong personalities aren’t bad, just different, and that with the right strategies, you can work alongside them effectively while staying true to your own leadership style. Resources mentioned in this episode: Article: Five Tips for Quiet Leaders. Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.  

AI tools like ChatGPT are everywhere, but what does that mean for thoughtful leaders? In this episode, Ben shares personal examples of using AI for marketing, podcasting, and even gardening - but he also issues a word of caution. Over-reliance on AI risks “deskilling” teams by removing valuable opportunities for learning and mentoring. Drawing on examples from law and medicine, he shows how bypassing junior staff development can have long-term consequences. Leaders can embrace AI, but must balance efficiency with the need to grow capable, confident teams. Resources mentioned in this episode: Book: The Skill Code by Matt Beane Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.  

Adapting your leadership style is essential but if you’re not careful, it can feel exhausting. In this episode, Ben explains how to shift your style to suit different situations - whether it’s being more direct in a crisis or more outgoing when networking, while keeping it sustainable. He draws on personality psychology research, including insights from Brian Little’s work on “personal projects,” to help leaders recognise when it’s worth stretching themselves and when to restore their energy. The goal: flexible, people-focused leadership that won’t compromise your wellbeing. Resources mentioned in this episode: Brian Little – Blog and information on Personal Projects. Brian Little – TED Talk - "who are you really?" Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values – online course Thoughtful Leader Coaching - work with Ben 1 on 1.  

In this episode, Ben explores why stability is such a powerful leadership trait. Drawing from his coaching and training experiences, he highlights how inconsistency erodes trust and creates uncertainty in teams. Ben shares his own routines, such as exercise, mindfulness, morning reading, and small rituals that help him maintain calm, dependable leadership, even under stress. He emphasises that your team needs to rely on you regardless of circumstances, and building stability through consistent habits is one of the best ways to lead with confidence. Resources mentioned in this episode: Thoughtful Leader Coaching: Work with Ben 1 on 1. The Useful Thinking Journal.  

In this episode, we look at a common challenge for thoughtful leaders – taking too much responsibility for other people’s problems. Reflection and self-awareness are powerful strengths. But when reflection turns into overthinking and self-criticism, leaders can start to “own” problems that aren’t really theirs to solve. I explore why thoughtful leaders are prone to this, how it increases stress and disempowers both you and your team, and what you can do to set healthy boundaries. You’ll also hear why accountability must stay with the person who owns the issue, not with you as the leader. Resources mentioned in this episode: The Useful Thinking Journal – a helpful tool for reflection without slipping into unhelpful self-blame. Episode 259 – Why Leaders Should Have a Reflective Practice Article: When Team Members Won’t Take Accountability Leadership Coaching with Ben.

What happens when poor behaviour or performance goes unchecked at work? In this episode, I cover the risks of working in a consequence-free environment, where team members face no real impact for their actions. I share why “trying everything” often fails without accountability, and why feedback, formal warnings, or performance improvement plans can all be necessary tools. Consequences aren’t about punishment – they’re about giving people a reason to change, and creating fairness for the whole team. Resources mentioned in this episode: Team Accountability Builder Course Article: 6 Steps to Deal With Behaviour Issues in Your Team Leadership Coaching with Ben    

A client once asked me a great question: “If my values are already part of who I am, why do I need to understand them better?” In this episode, I unpack the answer. Your values are always shaping your leadership, but when you understand them clearly, you can see what situations will help you thrive, and which will leave you drained or frustrated. With this awareness, you can prepare for challenges, choose the right environments, and stay true to what matters most. Resources mentioned in this episode: Lead With Confidence by Understanding and Using Your Values (Online Course) Leadership Coaching with Ben      

Leadership credibility isn’t built overnight, and there are no tricks that you can use to be respected in meetings or other forums at work. In this episode, I talk about the real groundwork which often happens before you need people to listen to you. That’s all about building trust and credibility with your key stakeholders. I share how to identify who your most important stakeholders are, how to map their influence and interest, and how to grow strong relationships over time. This groundwork makes it easier to be heard and respected, no matter your leadership style. Resources mentioned in this episode: Stakeholder Management Tips for the Everyday Leader (Article) Episode: Why Leaders Must Set Boundaries at Work Leadership Coaching with Ben

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too nice” to lead, this episode is for you. Being a people-pleaser doesn’t disqualify you from being an effective leader. It just means you need to develop a few key skills to protect your energy and set clear expectations. In this episode, I talk about: Why people-pleasing can feel like the easier option How it undermines your leadership (and what to do about it) Small steps to lead more assertively without losing your empathy. Leadership isn’t about being harsh or cold, it’s about leading with care and clarity. Resources: 1:1 Coaching: Work with me The Useful Thinking Journal

Mindfulness can feel like a buzzword, but it’s also a powerful tool for thoughtful leadership. In this episode, I explore how mindfulness helps leaders become more self-aware, less reactive, and better equipped to respond under pressure. I also share my story of mindfulness, including how and why I started using it and the benefits that came when I did. You’ll learn: What mindfulness really means in a leadership context Simple ways to bring more awareness into your day How mindfulness supports better decision-making You don’t need to meditate for hours to see the benefits, just a small shift in awareness can make a big difference. Resources: 1:1 Coaching: Work with me Waking Up App by Sam Harris Headspace Guided meditations on Spotify – Search "guided meditation" The Useful Thinking Journal