819 Auto-Accommodating Is Costing You More Than You Think. Here's How to Stop.

Do you say yes before checking your calendar? Jump in to fix problems that aren't yours to solve? Adjust your plans without a second thought to keep the peace? If any of this sounds familiar, you might be an auto-accommodator. And trust me, it's costing you more than you realize. About two years ago, I shared a story about auto-accommodating that struck a nerve with so many of you. The response was immediate and overwhelming – it went viral because people finally had a name for this reflexive pattern they'd been living with for years. In this week's episode of The Terri Cole Show, I'm diving deeper into auto-accommodating – what it is, why we do it, and most importantly, how to stop. This isn't about breaking a bad habit. We're talking about shifting a deeply ingrained behavioral pattern that silently influences your relationships, stress levels, resentment, and sense of self. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/819

How does a 3-time Emmy winner create the most psychologically complex characters in TV history? Join me and the legendary Tom Fontana, showrunner of many series including "Oz" and "Homicide: Life on the Street" as we deconstruct the creative process, storytelling, and the human psyche. In this episode, we dive deep into the "Origin Story" of a master storyteller. Tom shares his unique 3-part framework for building three-dimensional characters and explains why everyone has a story they are dying to tell—if only someone would ask. If you've ever felt "stuck" in your creative journey or want to understand the moral complexity behind groundbreaking dramas like Netflix's Borgia or Saint Elsewhere, this conversation is for you. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/818

Someone from our community recently sent me an email. She didn't understand why she had low self-worth, and she wanted to know if it was something she could change as an adult. The answer is a resounding YES.  We're going to cover how low self-worth develops, what it looks like when it's running in the background of your life, and what you can do to build something more solid, because building more self-worth requires practice. Let's start with the premise that we are all born worthy. Simply by virtue of being alive. The work is figuring out what got in the way of that, and how to come back to it. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/817

Do you have a book in you, waiting to be written? Or are you just curious what a developmental editor actually does for an author? To answer those questions, I invited an extra-special guest on the Terri Cole Show: The editor I work with on my very own books, Joelle Hann.  We chat about how Joelle has become such a precious part of my book-writing team, how she got her start as a developmental editor, and the growth process authors go through as they face the daunting task of finishing their first books! If you're working on a book and are ready to make it happen, apply to Book Proposal Academy [https://brooklynbookdoctor.com/bpa-tc-show/]. Joelle will personally take a closer look at your book idea and discuss your next best steps! The next cohort starts on April 17th. Read the show notes at terricole.com/816

You've probably heard the terms emotional self-regulation and dysregulated nervous system. They're everywhere right now, and for good reason. But I want to make sure we're all on the same page about what dysregulation actually looks like when it's happening to you, in your body, on a Tuesday afternoon. That's what I'm getting into on this episode of The Terri Cole Show. How dysregulation presents in real life, and a few of my favorite ways to come back to yourself when you're stuck there. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/815

Are you your own worst critic? In this episode of The Terri Cole Show, Terri sits down with viral content creator and New York Times bestselling author Misha Brown (@YourBestieMisha) to discuss his new book, Be Your Own Bestie: A No-Nonsense Guide to Changing the Way You Treat Yourself. Misha shares his "Hero Origin Story"—moving from being bullied to becoming an empathic powerhouse for millions. You'll learn why waiting for confidence is a mistake and how his S.A.S.S. Method (Self-reflection, Affirmations, Standing your ground, and Sculpting your life) can help you reclaim your power. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/814

We have lots of social science about the benefits of having good friends. But I hear from a lot of you that you're not sure how to find or make friends in this season of life. That is what we will be exploring in this episode.  I just got back from Costa Rica with girlfriends that I've known since I was four. We're all turning 62 this year, which means we've been friends longer than most marriages last. But I also have friends I've made in adulthood who are just as important to me, and I'm absolutely committed to them. Vic knew he was going to have to be a good sharer. I said straight up at the beginning of our relationship, "I love a lot of people. If you're a possessive type of person, we will not be a good fit." He was not and has been sharing me since 1997, lol!  If you don't have close friends, I want you to know you can. It's a skill like anything else. On today's episode, I'll share some tips to help you take stock of your friendships, find new friends as an adult, and keep the ones you love. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/813

Whether you're navigating a high-conflict divorce or trying to prevent everyday burnout in your marriage, award-winning family lawyer and co-parenting expert Gabriella Pomari has advice for you. In this episode, we're sitting down to explore why so many successful women fall into the trap of over-functioning. Plus, how to reclaim your power through cleaner boundaries. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/812

Do you find yourself exhausted after interacting with certain people or in certain situations? With the state of the world, you might just be exhausted from listening to the news. But if you look at the patterns, you'll probably see there are certain situations and certain people that drain your energy more than others. I'm talking about empaths and highly sensitive people. I'm going to explain the difference between the two and give you a five-step plan for staying balanced. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/811

On today's episode, I'm sitting down with iconic journalist and former Good Morning America host Joan Lunden to discuss her brand-new memoir, Life Beyond the Script. She shares the accidentally radical moments that defined her career—from becoming Sacramento's first weather girl with zero experience to being the first woman to bring a baby on set and advocate for breastfeeding on national television. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/810