The Cryptid March Melee

Send us Fan MailIt's really not a Melee. It is a fierce one-on-one battle culminating in a take all championship of the greatest Cryptid. Melee just sounded cool. Will the Mothman, Bigfoot, El Chupa Cabra or the Yeti prevail? Eastern conference and Western conference match-ups. One Cryptid will be victorious. This is a fun podcast led by The Trailer Park Monster himself. The Beaveman introduces a new Cryptid he continues to encounter in the dream dimension. Now his sworn enemy. Swan finishes with dumb jokes, of course she does. Patreon is coming. Stay tuned!Check out the website, send us a message. https://www.slaptailnation.com/

Send us Fan MailWe all know sarcasm when we see it. The squad welcomes GD Fenderson, certified forensic humorist back on the show to promote his upcoming show, "Spotlight on Insanity," April 4, 2026 at the Wealthy Theatre in Grand Rapids, MI. GD, as a humorist, is a story-teller. The plan: tell really boring stories to see if GD pays attention, tells his own boring story, or catches on. Beaveman and Swan are up to the challenge. But first, the Beaveman talks about how hard it is to instruct Swan on any subject. This time, it is how to sight in an optic for her 9 mm pistol. They transition to discussing the evolution of grooming the bush throughout the decades of cast members. Content warning, GD and Steven are gross. Back to the mission. Beaveman tells an absolutely boring story about the time he got casts of his feet done for orthotic inserts. The Swan tells an equally boring story about doing a marathon. And Steven, Steven, well, he had nothing prepared because he believes his life is so interesting that he has no boring stories. This guy can't be successful at any mission the Beaveman gives him. GD does not catch on, instead he embraces story-telling and reveals how he learned cunnilingus. I could have done without that story. Finally the squad reveals their mission, but GD was unphased because he really did seem interested. The squad does provide entertainment with, "This weeks piece of sh1+." If you have not heard about this one, check it out. I think everyone may be covering it. This is the story of Dayton James Webber. Why is it weird. Well, this guy is a quadriplegic, professional corn-hole (that's a thing) player, and now a straight up murdered. Hey guess what, you can do anything, like fry in the electric chair. Good for you buddy. Check out the links for the "Spotlight on Insanity," show. You can also stream on Plauzzable.https://grcmc.vbotickets.com/event/Spotlight_on_Insanity_Comedy_Show/182843https://plauzzable.com/event/23c2b3ba-fa69-441e-8d9e-2ca5b90bdb06https://www.sogdfunny.com/upcoming-events.htmlhttps://www.slaptailnation.com/

Send us Fan MailSteven and the Beaveman want to get or stay sexy and Nolan doesn't get it. Remember, you are never going to learn anything from the Slaptail Squad, but it won't stop them from having fun. This week's piece of sh1+ is a real loser. The Swan brings us her crime report. Steven bores us all with an abduction story. It would be cool, but its Steven, sooo. Nolan wows us with some little known facts about Alexander the Great (we knew), and Beaveman brings the heat with stories about people fusing to their furniture, wounds, wound healing, and of course stages of pressure ulcers complete with pictures. It wouldn't be an episode without dumb jokes with Swan, so yup, she's got em. They are really bad. Thank you all for your support. Check our our socials, YouTube where we are trying to put out some videos, and of course our website for upcoming shows, the podcast, and bios. https://www.slaptailnation.com/

Send us Fan MailThe Squad welcomes certified forensic humorist GD Fenderson, pride of Maryland and the recipient of the most coveted of...awards. The Beaveman will be joining GD for his show, "Spotlight on Insanity," at the Wealthy Theatre in Grand Rapids Michigan on April 4, 2026. See the link below for tickets. You can also stream on Plauzzable.com.So they probably talk about the show this entire episode right? Right? Wrong. They talk about the dangers of, you guessed it, sanitation. Or in this case, poop. What a surprise. Join your favorite band of childish adults as they talk about the most useless of subjects. Take a break from the world around you. GD Fenderson's websitehttps://sogdfunny.com/youtube-videos.htmlTicket links for Spotlight on Insanity at the Wealthy Theatre in personhttps://grcmc.vbotickets.com/event/Spotlight_on_Insanity_Comedy_Show/182843Stream Spotlight on Insanity through Plauzzablehttps://plauzzable.com/event/23c2b3ba-fa69-441e-8d9e-2ca5b90bdb06https://www.slaptailnation.com/

Send us Fan MailThis week the squad gets right into it with a case out of Tecumseh Michigan. Swan summarizes the case of accused plaintiff, innocent until proven guilty, Dale Warner charged with the murder of his wife. News flash, he's this weeks POS. Think he did it? Beaveman is pretty convinced. Then Drippy Steve brings the heat with an interesting mystery of the missing House Majority leader Thomas Hale Boggs in October of 1972. Aliens, plane crash, or did these folks pop smoke and get out of dodge to protect their anonymity for some other reason? The mystery continues. The Beaveman doesn't disappoint. After being told last episode that he needed to ramp it up a bit, he presents the devastating medical condition known as Fournier Gangrene. Can Steven handle the description and images, or does he become a pasty, pale, panty-waste? What do you think? Finally, Swan disappoints us all with some of the jokes that were very common when Beaveman was a young lad. Get ready for some of the worst, tasteless jokes of modern times. It's what we do. We are The Slaptail Squad, join our nation. Upcoming Shows for the BeavemanSpotlight on Insanity “Spotlight on Insanity” is the best mix of Stand-up Comedy and Improv. Hosted by Half Hazard, they will also perform improv between comics based on some of that comedian’s material.Ticket link: https://grcmc.vbotickets.com/event/Spotlight_on_Insanity_Comedy_Show/182843

Send us Fan MailThis week the Swan presents two true crime stories featuring two colossal pieces of dooky. Friggin geniuses. Truly some interesting cases, we think, we can't be sure because we were interrupting her and joking around the whole time. The King of Kalamazoo County Comedy, Nolan Johncock, returns to wow the squad with a story about making phosphorous out of pee pee. Seems legit. Drippy Steve takes the stage and once again, takes a super interesting topic and makes it boring. WTF. Is this guy going to fill us in on this Alien/US President deal to snatch people from National Forests or what!In true Beaveman style, the Beaveman swoops in and presents a case of a wide spreading, (get it) sexually transmitted fungal infection known as Trichophyton Mentagrophytes VII. Don't worry, he provides the squad with pictures as well. Incidentally, Steven didn't think these images were too bad. Beaveman may have to ramp it up a bit. Swan brings the squad home with some classic jokes, that may be funny, if Swan wasn't the one telling them. Thanks to our listeners around the world. We know it all sucks. Hopefully, hopefully, we can give you an hour or so to forget all the garbage. 

Send us Fan MailIt's the trinity of power this week. You guessed it, Beaveman, Swan, and JD bring the idiocy and the fun this week. Swan starts us off with, "This Weeks POS," as the trial of extended family/family annihilator Paul Caneiro comes to an end. He definitely qualifies as a POS. Hope he gets fitted with a sundress. She then transitions to a story about a local Grand Rapids, Michigan man who also annihilated his family. WTF, another POS. The Dark Lord of Browntown introduces some interesting theories about time that completely fries the Beaveman's brain. Is it plausible? That's for you to contemplate. The Beaveman brings it on ,"Not so Grand Rounds," with a discussion about Nipah virus. Gotta love the fruit bat, just don't love it that way you weirdo. And of course, the Swan ends the show with, "Dumb Jokes with the Swan." Is she actually getting better? You gotta give her credit, she is telling jokes to Beaveman and JD who just have to make idiot comments the entire time. Thank you to all of our listeners throughout the world! We love you! We hope we help you forget about the day-to-day crap. https://www.slaptailnation.com/

Send us Fan MailBeaveman and Swan return from New Orleans with videos to share and knowledge to impart. Joined by that broad from the eastside of the state, (the claw queen) Kate Dore, they have a fun little chat about what New Orleans has to offer. Ever wonder how you get beads these days in NOLA?Are the Red Beans and rice epic? Are boobs abundant? Should you fear the Vampires? Do you have preconceived notions about Voodoo? Well, you probably won't get many correct answers from the Beaveman, but he's going to pretend like he knows what he is talking about anyway. Movies mentioned in this episodeThe Serpent and the RainbowAngel Heart Places to check out in New OrleansThe Old Absinthe Househttps://www.ruebourbon.com/old-absinthe-houseMambo's for amazing red beans and ricehttps://www.mambosnola.com/Kulture Vulture for horror and band merchhttps://kulturevulturenola.com/Road Kill for Cool clotheshttps://roadkill13.com/New Orleans Playing Card Company for unique decks of cards and arthttps://customgambler.com/Check out slaptailnation.com in the next few days for our silly videos

Send us Fan MailThis week the squad unites for a typical idiotic chat session. Right out the gate, the Swan aka energy vampire and destroyer of fun, bores the crap out of the squad with her very long crime report. You cannot expect the squad to listen intently. It's like 5th grade English class all over again. The Beaveman brings it hard with Not So Grand Rounds. This week, he covers that flesh eating New World Screwworm, complete with pictures. Then Drippy Steve blows it. Of course he does. His idea of telling us his plan to talk about something cool is even more boring than Swan. Leave it to Drippy to take a dope topic and make it lame. The Trailer Park Monster saves the day by telling us about the Rindocus, which let's face it, just looks like a really bad taxidermy job, but it's still a cool story. Oh, and dumb jokes with Swan. Don't worry, she is still really bad at it. At some point the Beaveman plays audio of a joke he is working on. He and Steven are working off the same premise to see who has the better joke. Enjoy!Check out the Slaptail Nation Website to See the images discussed on Not So Grand Rounds and to see an image of the Ringdocushttps://www.slaptailnation.com/podscan_MXYN3N5TpHk8KwA5KkN2be0hUrleVjAJ

Send us Fan MailOn this week's episode, we dive into Swan's Food Aggression Disorder.Swan brings us this week's crime report written by our crime reporter Angela Tripsalot.  The case of the Tik Tok Murders of James and Kristin Brock from Carrollton, Georgia on February, 20, 2025.  The Squad takes the Binge Eating Disorder Questionnaire together - giving their honest answers and the kind of self-realization you didn't ask for but probably needed. It's part comedy, part group therapy, and 100% typical Slaptail chaos.Play along at home and learn something about yourselves - Mainly, DON'T touch Swan's food!Thank you to all of our listeners from around the world for supporting The Slaptail Squad Podcast.