24. “Surrender” is a dirty word for most successful men, but it’s important in sex addiction recovery

Sex addiction seems to sneak up on people. But, what if you could stop it? What if you could feel it coming so early that you were able to prevent it from happening? Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a therapeutic approach that focuses on the nervous system's dysregulation and how it affects your life.  High-achievers and entrepreneurs tend to focus on progress rather than what is happening inside them. This can be effective if your goal is to make more money. But, what are you missing? When I tried SE, it helped accelerate my recovery. But, it also enhanced my ability to sense where I was in recovery and how sober I truly was. In this episode, I talk with Brian Klink, founder of Living Color Healing. Brian is a pilot and entrepreneur who has been affected personally by compulsive sexuality. He and I talk about our experience with SE and how he is using it to help men overcome their sex and porn addictions. You can visit Brian's website here: https://www.livingcolorhealing.com/ If you are a high-achiever seeking a recovery group and in-person intensives, visit my website here: www.successfuladdict.com

Your wife isn't enough to keep you sober… Your kids aren't enough… even God isn’t enough. If they were enough, many of my clients would have been sober a long time ago. For high-achieving men, there seems to be one thing that wakes them up and makes sobriety last.  In this episode, Donald Zaksek and I discuss the unique challenges that successful men face when recovering from sex and porn addiction.  This episode is pure gold! Don is a brilliant therapist who has the incredible ability to look deep into a problem and find a solution. If you’re committed to your sex addiction recovery, I know that you will find this episode very impactful. If you’re a high-achiever looking for a tribe of like-minded men to do recovery with, visit my website: www.successfuladdict.com Our recovery groups provide men with a deeply connected group of men who hold each other accountable and support them through recovery to avoid slips and relapse. If you think this might be a good group for you, go to our website and fill out an application.

From ages 12-25, young men are sucked into a sexual world. The belief is formed that sex and women are a scarce commodity. This “scarcity” often causes men to pursue sex and women before their time runs out. It’s really an insane thought process if you stop and think about it. What is sex really going to do for these young men? Is life really going to be that much better when you have all of these sexual experiences? Novel sexual experiences will not enhance your life. The moments come and go. Then, you need another one. And, another. For some men, this will turn into a sex or porn addiction. If you want to overcome your sex addiction, you need to look at the beliefs that were formed when you were growing up. These beliefs don’t go away on their own. You need to update them. Our sex addiction recovery groups focus on changing your mind and the beliefs that drive your compulsive sexual behavior. If you are a high-achiever, entrepreneur, executive, or business professional who is looking for a recovery group full of driven men, visit our website here: successfuladdict.com

Surrender... Every sex and porn addict has heard that word before. But, what does it mean? How do you do it? Why is it so important to surrender if you want to overcome sex addiction? This episode was fun to record as Debby has a refreshing take on sex addiction and sexual betrayal. Debby Wade is a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) who recently opened a retreat center in Montana for couples who are recovering from infidelity and sexual betrayal. Debby is a speaker and industry expert in the areas of sexual health & sex/porn addiction. As you will see in this video, Debby has a healing energy about her that makes her exceptionally good with couples and betrayed partners. As a high-achiever herself, Debby and I discuss why surrender is so hard for successful people. High-achievers like to control how others see them (image management). They also tend to be people pleasers and future planners. The combination of all of these elements makes surrendering very difficult. Thus, opening the door to addictive and compulsive sexual behaviors. Connect with Debby for more information about her couples retreats by sending her an email: [email protected] If you are a high-achiever looking for a sex addiction recovery group, visit my website at www.successfuladdict.com

Sex addicts are typically people pleasers. Successful men are usually successful because of their ability to please others. The problem is that they tend to prioritize pleasing others over pleasing themselves. This leads to coping, compensating, and striving. The good news is that you can have both... Sobriety AND success. High-achievers are resourceful, driven, and creative. Sex addiction becomes an efficient way of getting what the addict mind wants. In the beginning, it's easy to hide. Inevitably, the truth comes out and it often wrecks their marriage and the family unit. Recovery is different for high-achievers as their sex addiction is different than the average addict. This episode discusses the differences and what must be done to achieve long-term sobriety. Crystal Hollenbeck (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and I examine what high-achievers need to do if they are going to achieve a full recovery. While many successful men believe that they know who they are, their self-worth is often tied to the number of people who they perceive find them "impressive." If you are a high-achiever who is struggling with a sex and porn addiction, visit my website: successfuladdict.com If you live in Florida and want to connect with Crystal: https://crystalhollenbeck.com/ #sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexaddictiongroups #compulsivesexuality

Sex addiction is what is called a “process addiction,” meaning that the dopamine comes from thinking. If you want to beat this addiction, you need to change the way you think. Lara Dye (PhD and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and I discuss how to navigate a process addiction and what goes into changing how a sex addict thinks. High-achievers, business professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs have unique brain processes. We discuss where these thinking patterns come from and what successful men need to do to achieve sobriety and long-term recovery. If you’re a high-achiever looking for a sex addiction recovery group, visit our website: www.successfuladdict.com The Successful Addict is a program for professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs who struggle with sex addiction and want to save their marriage. We provide men with a deeply connected recovery group using in-person retreats, weekly coaching calls, and daily accountability check-ins. If you live in Texas and want to contact Lara about treatment options, go here: https://drlaradye.com/#sexaddiction #pornaddiction #sexaddictiongroups #compulsivesexuality

There’s an obsession with triggers in the sex addiction industry. But, it’s not that linear. Rarely is a trigger sexual. Yet, there’s this focus in the sex addiction industry on arousal templates and men being triggered by women/ sexual imagery. Sex addiction is classified as a process addiction. You should be looking for what triggers your process addiction rather than a sex or porn addiction. The triggers and the “why” behind your sex addiction are best resolved in a group setting. Here you can listen to other men describe their process addiction and it will help you get to the root cause of your own. If you are a high-achiever or entrepreneur and you are looking for a group of like-minded men to recover with, visit our website here: successfuladdict.com Our program is designed specifically for high-achievers and successful men. Sex addiction presents differently in driven men. They’re outgoing, charismatic, and refuse to settle for mediocrity. These qualities cause a very unique addiction that differs from the men in the general population. For these reasons, high-achievers require a unique approach to sex addiction recovery.  Our groups cater to these differences and provide men with a peer group of like-minded individuals who they can better connect with.

There is always a reason ‘why’ a sex addict becomes an addict. Understanding your ‘why’ makes sobriety easier to maintain. However, with sex addiction, there’s much more than just WHY you do it that makes sobriety challenging. In this video, Chris Groff (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and I talk about our experience working with business professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs who have developed sex addiction. Recovery is different for high-achievers. Chris and I break down what you can do to achieve long-term sobriety and a full recovery. If you’re a high-achiever with a sex or porn addiction and you are looking for a recovery group, click here to visit our website: www.successfuladdict.comHead here if you live in Texas and want to contact Chris about treatment: https://fwcai.com/

Sex and Porn Addiction is not about sex and pornography. It is all about the story attached to the behavior. Most sex addicts have no idea what these stories are. As a result, stopping these behaviors can be difficult as you are not aware of the root cause. In addition, your wife will likely want an explanation as to why you did the things you did. High-achievers have the drive to beat this addiction. The issue is that many of them are not equipped with the information necessary to get sober. Havi Kang, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and I discuss the most common reason why successful men develop a sex addiction and why it is difficult for them to stop. Are they getting their needs met? What is it that they are looking for when they act out sexually? Listen to this video to find out. If you are a high-achiever struggling with sex addiction and you are interested in diving deeper into your recovery, The Successful Addict may be the right program for you. We provide men with weekly calls, daily accountability check-ins, and a close group of other successful men to recover with. Your membership includes 2 in-person retreats in Sedona, AZ. For more information, visit our site: successfuladdict.com If you live in Pheonix and want to contact Havi about treatment, go here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/havi-kang-scottsdale-az/1114483

Carol Juergensen Sheets is considered by many to be the "grandmother" of sex addiction. Her book, "Help Her Heal," is used by thousands of couples all over the world. Sex and porn addicts have a lot they need to do in the first 6 months after their wife discovers their unwanted sexual behavior. Violating your wife's trust is one of the worst things you can do in a relationship. Hiding, lying, gaslighting. These things are hard to come back from. However, it is possible. In fact, many couples thrive after sexual betrayal. In this interview, Carol and I break down the steps required to save a marriage after infidelity. Her decades of experience show as she can speak to a wide variety of challenges couples face when in recovery. Carol is a pioneer in the sex addiction space and her wealth of knowledge is clearly evident in this episode. If you are looking for Carol's books or want to attend one of her workshops, visit her website here: https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com/ If you are a high-achiever or entrepreneur looking for a sex addiction recovery group designed specifically for successful men, visit our website: successfuladdict.com