402. Why trauma bonding feels so much like love ...

We’ve all heard the phrase trauma bonding, often used in jest to talk about two people who became friends after meeting in difficult circumstances. But trauma bonding is actually a psychological phenomenon which defines a relationship characterised by an abuser and their target, and a cycle that can be very hard to break out of. In this episode, we unpack the characteristics of a trauma bond, how you can identify if you might be experiencing one, and steps you can take to break away from one. We explore: What a trauma bond looks like Why trauma bonds can happen What a trauma bond ISN’T Why trauma bonds can play out in a variety of relationships How to identify if you are experiencing a trauma bond Steps you can take to move away from a trauma bond A few resources to help you if you are struggling with a trauma bond:  The Attachment Project: HERE Choosing Therapy: HERE Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all want to feel that we fit into a social group. But how does this play out when it comes to trends? From ‘mob wife energy’ to ‘cottagecore’, rapidly-evolving microtrends put more aesthetic-driven content in front of us than ever before, and it can feel hard to keep up. In this episode, we explore the ways that social media, fast fashion and ‘dopamine culture’ can pressure us to buy, how microtrend fatigue is giving way to a new type of self-expression, and how we can healthily navigate our own consumption of microtrends. We explore: The 5 stages of a trend, and how microtrends are different How world events influence microtrends Why social contagion, social conformity, and individual expression influence our behaviour Why social media and fast fashion have led to an explosion in microtrends The role of ‘dopamine culture’ on our brains Microtrend fatigue, and how ‘vibes’ might be replacing them When to buy, and when to wait Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's our 400th episode! Today is a special episode. Feeling stuck, behind, or like you’re wasting your 20s is not a rare experience. But you might just be focusing on the wrong milestones... In this episode, we break down 15 unconventional things I think everyone should do in their 20s and the psychology behind why.  Some of the bucket list items we discuss:  The best money lessons you learn through experience  The importance of yearly challenges and quitting the things you depend on The plan you can make for your life, today Why we all need to do a social audit  Solitude, relationships and the love you should find in your 20s Happy listening! Watch on Netflix   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

  We all know exercise is ‘good for us’, but why is it that a walk can calm your brain, why a workout can feel like emotional release, or why movement can become either self-care or self-punishment. In this episode, we unpack the psychology of exercise – what’s happening to our brains over time, where the ‘exercise as antidepressants’ claim came from, and what happens when it crosses into obsession. We explore:•        The role of endorphins and endocannabinoids•        How movement can regulate our emotions•        Identity and motivation in exercise•        How exercise changes our brains•        The role of exercise in treating depression•        How to build a healthier relationship with exercise Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10813489/ https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/56/2/101.abstract https://insight.jci.org/articles/view/126190 The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Feeling stuck in your 20s is a rite of passage, but it's can also feel deeply hopeless when nothing in your life seems to be moving or changing in the way you want it to. In today's episode, we break down some of the reasons we feel stuck and the five things you can do in the next 6 months to change that, including:  The 10 minute mind map tool to get you out of a funk  Why you need to stop asking other people for advice The 6 month challenge project  Plus so much more Happy listening!  The episode I mentioned: How to feel like yourself again The book I mentioned: The Anatomy of a Breakthrough Watch on Netflix   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When we think about office politics, you might think gossip, favouritism, or power plays - the kind of behind-the-scenes drama that makes work feel draining. But office politics isn’t just about one-upmanship or ambition. At its core, it’s a very human process: how people build trust, navigate competition, and influence decisions in the workplace. In this episode, we break down the ‘unwritten’ dynamics of office politics - why they exist, how they affect your daily work life, and what you can do to navigate them without compromising your values. We explore:•        The types of influence and power at work that you can leverage for yourself•        Why office politics feels inevitable•        How to recognise unspoken rules and social dynamics•        Advice on office gossip•        The 5 things you should be doing at work to get ahead (ethically) If you want to go into the office with less dread and more clarity, this episode is for you. Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Homesickness is more than just “missing home", it's a deep sense of nostalgia, grief, longing and also, as psychology will tell us, a unique kind of stress response. In this episode, we break down the psychology of homesickness: why our brains react so strongly when we leave familiar places, how place attachment shapes our sense of identity, and why nostalgia can make the past feel more perfect than it really was. We explore: What happens to your body and mind when you're away from home The psychology of place attachment and why certain locations feel like part of us Why homesickness often is delayed When homesickness is something to listen to ... and when it’s not 7 practical strategies to help you feel more at home in a new place Whether you’ve just moved across the world, across the country, or you’re feeling unexpectedly nostalgic for a life chapter that’s ended, this episode is for you. Watch on Netflix   Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The idea that depression is caused by a “chemical imbalance” is one of the most widely accepted explanations in modern mental health ... but is it actually true? In this bonus episode, we unpack where the chemical imbalance theory came from, how it became the dominant narrative around depression, and why many researchers today believe the story is far more complicated. Including:  The academic and applied history of this theory  What research says about antidepressants vs placebo Why the “low serotonin” explanation may be too simple The psychological and social drivers of depression Why meaning, connection, and environment matter for mental health Why depression treatment often works best when it’s multi-layered Happy listening! Watch on Netflix Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When one person tries to get closer to someone else, and the other person pulls away in response, they might be experiencing a pursuer-distancer dynamic. This can create a very painful cycle, where communication breaks down, each side blames the other, and ultimately, nobody has their needs met. In this episode, we explore the stages of a pursuer-distancer cycle, unpack why we’re drawn to relationships like this, and learn how to break the cycle so we can enjoy more happy, fulfilled relationships. We explore:  What the pursuer-distancer dynamic looks like The psychology of why romantic opposites ‘attract’ What’s going on in the mind or a pursuer and distancer Pursuer-distancer burnout - and when the pursuer final quits... How we can heal a pursuer-distancer cycle Can pursuer-distancer dynamics work in our 20s? A note that this episode contains content about abusive relationships. Listen now! ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/copy-of-book  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbegFollow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcastFor business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you heard someone described as stoic, you would probably imagine they were unemotional and repressed, with a stiff upper lip. But stoicism has a PR problem. In fact, stoicism can teach us a lot about letting go of outcomes, being more tolerant of others, and how to live a more fulfilled life. In this episode, we unpack the core pillars of this ancient philosophy, recognise how it has influenced world leaders to chronic pain patients, and explore how we can apply it in our day-to-day lives.   We explore:• The ancient origins of stoicism • Why people are turning to stoicism today• The four cardinal virtues of stoicism - wisdom, justice, courage and temperance• Why stoic mindsets scientifically impact the treatment of pain, palliative care, and more• How stoicism can be one of the most empowering mindsets to adopt in our 20s Listen now or watch on Netflix! ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/copy-of-book  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbegFollow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcastFor business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.