430 – Tell Me Lies

Huan wants to end the power of cats forever; Alan and Sara would settle for ending the power of internet trolls for a few years. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as Tevildo’s doorkeeper gets laid off the hard way as we continue reading The Tale of Tinúviel in Beren and Lúthien. Huan’s plan begins to bear furry fruit, Tinúviel spots his man and begins to tell some sweet little lies, and Tevildo finds himself up a tree. We spot even more threes, wonder what Tevildo’s severance package looks like (hint: it probably involves more severing), and decide that Miaulë might just be the best name for a cat - ever. Also, can we please stop talking about tongues and licking?? Make the HoME audiobooks happen by signing the petition here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tinwelint (Thingol to the rest of you) asks his daughter to “put this folly away from thee”; Sara’s been telling Alan to do the same for years now. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as Tinúviel makes good her escape from the mighty Hirilorn like a cat in the dark as we continue our reading of this early tale in Beren and Lúthien. Tinúviel knows better than to promise what she can’t deliver, Dairon gets lost in the woods and finds himself way off course, and the goodest dog ever gets his earliest introduction. We reach a disturbing conclusion, decide Tinúviel has the weirdest gap-year plans ever, and speculate about the blueprints for Tevildo’s giant cat condo. Also, three is a magic number, oh yes it is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Beren is so hungry that he picks his way through leftover scraps at an Orc camp; Alan and Sara are somehow no longer hungry at all. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we continue our look at The Tale of Tinúviel in Beren and Lúthien. Beren proves he can really think on his feet, Tevildo smells dog, and Dairon proves to be as petty as he was cowardly. We compare Tinwelint and Melko with surprising results, wonder about the torture of the balrogs (though not too much), and discover that flattery will get you… a really crappy job. Also, we’ve invented a new cat food flavor! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dairon is named among the three most magic players; Alan and Sara aren’t even named among the three most magic podcasters. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we begin our long look at the oldest version of the story of Beren and Lúthien, known as The Tale of Tinúviel. Tinúviel dances better than anyone this side of Valinor, Beren is an Elf from the wrong side of the tracks, and Tinwelint wants his daughter to listen carefully to the sound of her loneliness. We like Tinúviel’s sass, acknowledge that Beren is a hero too, and readily acknowledge that Verlyn Flieger is our hero. Also, why doesn’t she like The Beatles? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christopher Tolkien points out the ‘undercurrent of sardonic humor’ in Tolkien’s earliest version of this story; Alan and Sara’s sardonic humor is more like a whirlpool. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we finish our walk through of Christopher’s introduction to the story of Beren and Lúthien. Christopher tells us that the original story exists only in a mostly-erased pencil manuscript, sets up the frame narrative for The Tale of Tinúviel, and explains what his father meant by ‘Gnome’. We talk about Tolkien as a different kind of war poet, engage in some lovely Fëanor-bashing, and find out precisely what a palimpsest is. Also, that’s a rom-com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we join a few of our patrons in the PPP Common Room for our 36th Questions After Nightfall! Sara looks for the familiar bus tires, as we answer questions about Nienna and the hobbits, Dwarves and their retirement plans, and medieval murder bunnies. Also, we wonder what the winter is like in Gondolin. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christopher Tolkien believes that the book he was working on was “in no conceivable way publishable”. Alan and Sara sometimes think the same about the podcast. Join The Man of the West and The Shieldmaiden of Rohan as we begin Season 11 and our year-long journey through Beren and Lúthien. Christopher wants to avoid turning his father’s literary history into a nonsense, recognizes that The History of Middle-earth might have a deterrent effect, and uses a familiar voice to tell us about Beleriand. We hope you don’t mind that we find ‘simply inexxagerable’ to be a tremendous phrase. We also try not to cry at an emotional letter, and believe that’s not a book - it’s a weapon. Also, a ‘mere maiden’? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It turns out the Stones are more amenable to legitimate users; too bad all we have are Alan and Shawn. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as we conclude our reading of the chapter on The Palantíri, as well as our time in Unfinished Tales, as Season 10 of The Prancing Pony Podcast stumbles across the finish line. Denethor trusts in his own strength, the Stones don’t come with owner’s manuals, and shrouding remains a complete mystery. We observe that Tolkien is really committed to the bit, discuss the lore of the Stones (and the Stones), and agree that Sauron is a micromanager. Also, Shawn chats with Alan about the future of the PPP and calls him a nerd. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After the Kings, Gondor declined into a Middle Age of fading knowledge and simpler skills. Alan and Shawn find that surprisingly familiar. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as we begin our two-episode look at the final chapter of Unfinished Tales on The Palantíri. The Stewards know better than to use the Stones — for awhile, Saruman takes the concept of free agency a bit too far, and Tolkien lets us think through the problem with Gandalf. We lament the absence of Jack Black, agree that Calenardhon’s name change is nobody’s business but the Rohirrim, and come up with a most-disturbing Lionel Richie adaptation. Also, Carnac the Magnificent. For more on the Middle-earth Online Art Exhibition that Katie spoke about in the intro, please visit: https://sites.google.com/breecrossroadsartexhibitionevent.com/home/home Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some people believe that “Gandalf” was the last appearance of Manwë; Alan is convinced Shawn is the last appearance of Oromë. Join The Man of the West and The Lord of the Mark as they conclude their three-episode walk through the chapter on The Istari from Unfinished Tales. The lore of the wizards is given in alliterative verse; the “north” is defined very, very broadly; and where did Gandalf go, really? We find that a Philology Faire can get Shawn in trouble, wonder what Sindarin might be for ‘burning man’, and discover it’s 106 miles to Chicago. Also, silver badger?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices