#36 Parenting is Political

Remember when you couldn't keep your hands off each other? Now you're lucky if you make eye contact over the dinner dishes. You've gone from lovers to logistics managers, and frankly, you're both exhausted. So you do what everyone tells you to do: you talk about it. You go to therapy. You communicate your feelings. You hash out every grievance, every unmet need, every way he's disappointing you. And somehow... things get worse. Here's the brutal truth no one wants to admit: You're talking your marriage to death. While you're sitting in therapy sessions dissecting every problem, the real issue is dying a slow death. And it's not what your therapist thinks it is.  In this episode, I'm exposing the biggest lie about fixing marriages—and revealing what actually brings back the spark you're desperately missing. And this isn't about communication skills or conflict resolution. It's about something much more primal that creates the bond you're craving. Warning: This approach goes against everything you've been told about "working on your relationship." But if you're tired of analyzing your marriage to death and ready to feel something again, this changes everything.    🔥 Ready to stop talking and start feeling? Discover what really works: https://hifam.com/desirelab  🔥 Want the complete marriage transformation? Check out: https://married-u.com/university

Do you ever feel like your husband is like another child? He disappears into the bathroom for 45 minutes right as dinner starts. Heads off golfing without thinking who's watching the kids. Leaves dirty socks for you to pick up like you're his personal maid. You're constantly picking up after him, reminding him of basic responsibilities, and wondering how someone who functions perfectly fine at work can suddenly become helpless at home. The frustration is real. The exhaustion is real. That nagging feeling that you're more like his mother than his wife? Also real. But what if I told you there's something happening in this dynamic that no one talks about? Something that might completely change how you see this entire situation? In this episode, I'm diving into the psychology behind why so many capable women feel like they're raising their husbands instead of partnering with them. And trust me—the real story behind this epidemic is not what you think. If you've ever felt like you're the only adult in your marriage, this one's for you. But prepare yourself: what you discover might surprise you more than you expect. 🔥 Ready to understand what's really happening in your marriage? Start with the free Marriage by Design masterclass: https://married-u.com/marriagebydesign 🔥 Want to explore the deeper dynamics at play? Check out Desire Lab: https://hifam.com/desirelab

"Why do good women want to leave good men?" If you're married to someone who's loyal, faithful, and not abusive—but you sometimes find yourself thinking "maybe we're just not compatible" or "maybe it would be easier without him"—this question might hit closer to home than you'd like to admit.  You're not alone in these thoughts. There's a growing trend of women in their late 30s and early 40s walking away from perfectly good marriages, and the reasons aren't what you'd expect. Not infidelity. Not abuse. Not addiction. Something else entirely. But what if these feelings aren't actually about him at all? In this video, I'm diving into the psychology behind this phenomenon—why capable, loving women start questioning solid relationships, and what's really driving these thoughts. Because there's something happening that no one's talking about, and it's affecting more marriages than we realize. But there is good news! Once you understand what's really going on, everything can change. This isn't a problem without a solution—it's a pattern that can be broken. If you've ever felt this way about a good man, or if you're curious about what's behind this trend, this episode will give you answers you didn't know you were looking for. 🔥 Ready to understand what's really happening in your marriage? Start with the free Marriage by Design masterclass at: https://married-u.com 🔥 Want to explore deeper connection and attraction? Check out Desire Lab: https://hifam.com/desirelab

“I think my husband’s a narcissist…” If you’ve whispered those words to yourself — in the dark, after another disconnected conversation, or mid-scroll through TikTok — this video is for you. We live in a culture quick to diagnose, quick to label, and even quicker to tell women to walk away. But what if the truth is more complex… and more hopeful? In this episode, I gently unravel the difference between a truly narcissistic partner — and one who is imperfect, avoidant, or simply different from you. I share the hard-earned truths I learned in my own marriage, and the lessons that thousands of women around the world are now living by. This is not about blame. It’s about clarity. It’s about reclaiming intimacy, polarity, and respect — with the partner you already have. 💡 Inside this episode, you’ll discover:  • What real narcissism is — and why most husbands don’t have it • The subtle ways culture trains us to resent and reject our men • How emotional superiority can mask our own blind spots • The quiet power of feminine softness, desire, and accountability If you're longing for chemistry, attraction, and real partnership — without needing to fix or diagnose your husband — you’re in the right place.  🔥 Ready to go deeper into what's really affecting your marriage? Transform your relationship at: https://married-u.com/university 🔥 Want to rebuild genuine connection and attraction? Check out Desire Lab: https://hifam.com/desirelab  ⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This message is not for women in abusive or dangerous relationships. If your partner is manipulative, emotionally unsafe, or displays signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), please seek professional support. You deserve peace and safety, not pressure to stay.

"The mental load is crushing me." If you've ever felt this way—tracking every appointment, remembering every snack preference, carrying the invisible weight of running your household—you're not the only one! The internet is full of women sharing their exhaustion, their resentment, and their anger about shouldering this "unfair burden." But what if everything you've been told about the mental load is making your marriage worse, not better? In this video, I'm challenging the popular narrative that's turning normal adult responsibilities into a crisis. While TikTok coaches teach you to catalog every invisible task and demand your husband "open his eyes," I'll show you why this victim mindset is destroying the very thing you're trying to protect: your partnership. Discover why responsibility is actually a mental health protector (not a destroyer), how the "mental load crisis" dismisses the massive burdens men carry, and why reframing your perspective could transform your marriage from resentful roommates back into a loving team. The truth is, being needed isn't a burden—it's a privilege. And when you stop fighting against your strengths and start embracing them as gifts, everything changes. 🔥 Ready to transform your marriage from scorekeeping to true partnership? Join Married-U: https://married-u.com/university 🔥 Want to build a strong family culture that supports your marriage? Join the Studio: https://hifam.com/studio

What happens when parenting becomes a battlefield for something much bigger? You’ve probably felt it. Heard it. Maybe even argued about it. In this episode I explore what’s really going on beneath the surface — and why it matters more than ever. 👀 You might be surprised where the conversation leads. 🔥 Ready to stop parenting to political trends and start building the family culture you actually believe in? Join the Studio: https://hifam.com/studio 

"I Don't Like Playing With My Kids—And That Makes Me a Better Parent" Finally, someone's saying what you've been thinking. You love your children fiercely, but toy cars and dollhouses just aren't your thing. Before you spiral into parent guilt... this might actually be your secret weapon for deeper connection. The parenting world has convinced us that meaningful bonding requires endless hours of pretend play, but what if that advice is actually keeping you from the authentic relationship you're craving? What if your resistance to forced fun is your intuition telling you there's a better way? Here's what no one talks about: children can sense when we're going through the motions. When you're sitting on the floor feeling drained and resentful, pretending to enjoy something that bores you to tears, your child feels that energy. They know you're not really present—you're performing. But when you stop forcing behaviors that drain you and start connecting authentically, something magical happens. Your child gets the real you. The engaged you. The parent who shows up with genuine energy instead of forced enthusiasm. In this episode, I reveal 10 research-backed ways to build deeper bonds than forced play ever could. From the bonding behaviors that naturally release oxytocin, to the everyday moments that create unshakable security, these methods honor who you are while giving your child what they truly need. The parents who've embraced this approach report something surprising: their children seem not just more connected, but actually more independent and secure. Because when connection is authentic, children stop seeking constant validation and start thriving in their own play. Your child doesn't need another playmate—they need you at your best. And that happens when you connect from your strengths, not your weaknesses. ________________ 🔥 Ready to build authentic connection and a family culture that works for who you actually are? Join the Studio where we create meaningful family rhythms and raise confident kids without the performance: https://hifam.com/studio 📖 Want independent play so you have energy for real connection? Get the Reclaim Play course and free yourself from being the entertainment committee: https://reclaimplay.com 

Do you ever worry that your nurturing instincts might be holding your children back from true independence? Today I'm diving into the strange world of "son-bands" - when a mother attaches to her son in a way that's more appropriate for a partner. In this episode, I explore how modern parenting culture has blurred the boundaries between healthy attachment and unhealthy dependence. You'll discover: - The shocking social media trend normalizing mother-son enmeshment - Why the "devouring mother" phenomenon prevents children from launching - How gentle parenting can accidentally create codependence when boundaries disappear - Six practical strategies to foster healthy attachment without sacrificing independence - The surprising reason your partner should come before your child in your emotional hierarchy This isn't about making you feel guilty—it's about recognizing the subtle patterns that might be keeping both you and your children from thriving. However, with small adjustments to your approach, you can maintain deep connection while empowering your children to become truly independent. Ready to implement these strategies in your family? Join us in The Studio (https://hifam.com/studio) for ongoing support and implementation (and so much more!). And remember - a strong marriage is your child's best protection against unhealthy attachment patterns. Discover how to revitalize your relationship at Married U: https://married-u.com/university 

Ever feel like you're not measuring up as a parent? Like everyone else has it figured out while you're just trying to make it through the day? In this episode, I reveal the 7 different parenting superpowers that make families thrive - and help you identify which one is YOUR zone of genius! The truth is, none of us excel at everything in parenting (or in life). We each have unique strengths that are shaping our children in powerful ways - strengths that might come so naturally to you that you don't even recognize them as special. Stop comparing yourself to other parents and start recognizing your own gifts. Because incredible families aren't built by perfect parents—they're built by parents who leverage their natural strengths and build meaningful family cultures one habit at a time. Listen to discover your parenting superpower, learn to be confident in it, and see how you can use it to create the family life you dream of! Join the Studio waitlist: https://hifam.com/studio Reclaim Play book & course: https://reclaimplay.com  

Ever wonder what would happen if your family just unplugged completely? No phones, tablets, TV, or devices - even for just a few hours? While this might sound challenging in today's digital world, my family takes a complete technology break for 25 hours every weekend. What started as a religious practice has become the cornerstone of our family connection, creating space for what truly matters. In this glimpse into our screen-free time, I share: - What actually fills those hours when Netflix isn't an option - How kids naturally return to imaginative play without prompting - The simple activities that create deeper family bonds - Why meaningful conversations happen more easily without digital distractions This isn't about suggesting everyone needs a full day unplugged or imposing strict rules. It's about sharing practical ideas you might adapt for your own family - even if it's just a screen-free dinner or Sunday morning. The surprising truth is that when screens go away, something beautiful happens. Children play differently. Parents connect more deeply. And time somehow feels both slower and more valuable. Whether you're looking to implement a brief weekly tech break or simply curious about building stronger family bonds, these practical insights might inspire your own version of sacred family time. Want to reclaim your family time from screens? Join parents worldwide in the Studio at https://hifam.com/studio and discover simple ways to create tech boundaries that strengthen connection without daily battles.