Episode Twenty Five: Should You Forgive Your Abuser?

This week Porsha and Chloe bring you the first in a series of episodes focused on going no contact. They chat about how they went no contact and what it means to cut all contact with someone. Support links are below.  NEW ZEALAND: Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP). Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). Healthline – 0800 611 116 Youthline – 0800 376 633 AUSTRALIA. USA. UK: Click here or here for UK based helplines and services. CANADA. WORLDWIDE. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

NEW ZEALAND: Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP). Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). Healthline – 0800 611 116 Youthline – 0800 376 633 AUSTRALIA. USA. UK: Click here or here for UK based helplines and services. CANADA. WORLDWIDE. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

This week, Chloe and Porsha bring you part two of their series on repercussions: the social repercussions of growing up with a narcissistic parent. Support links and references are below.  Want to shout us a coffee? http://www.ko-fi.com/thenocontactclub NEW ZEALAND: Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP). Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). Healthline – 0800 611 116 Youthline – 0800 376 633 AUSTRALIA. USA. UK: Click here or here for UK based helplines and services. CANADA. WORLDWIDE. References: https://forms.gle/zoeFY9LbDdo7bgyeA https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2016/07/09/how-being-raised-by-a-narcissist-damages-your-life-and-self-esteem/amp/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

This week, Chloe and Porsha bring you part one in a two-part series on the repercussions of growing up with a narcissistic parent. This week, they discuss the impact on mental health. Support links and references below. TW: Suicide NEW ZEALAND: Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP). Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). Healthline – 0800 611 116 Youthline – 0800 376 633 AUSTRALIA. USA. UK: Click here or here for UK based helplines and services. CANADA. WORLDWIDE. References: https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/women-narcissistic-parents https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/romance-redux/201609/8-common-long-lasting-effects-narcissistic-parenting https://narcissistfamilyfiles.com/2017/03/02/adult-children-of-narcissists-face-trauma-induced-health-risks/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2016/07/09/how-being-raised-by-a-narcissist-damages-your-life-and-self-esteem/#2715d9a42c67 https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/insight-is-2020/201405/narcissistic-parents-psychological-effect-their-children https://healthyfamilies.beyondblue.org.au/seeking-support/helping-yourself-and-others/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/parentified-child-of-a-narcissistic-mother- https://open.spotify.com/episode/7v7cQgckBaPDrwkqvudIxl?si=bwPXd9NFQpKl93pPUzniQw&dl_branch=1 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

This week Chloe and Porsha talk about motherhood and what to do when your child's grandmother is a narcissist. They speak to children's book author Amy Huber about her experience. Amy's book can be found here. https://www.amazon.com/Bear-Amy-Huber-ebook/dp/B08QRJV2T1/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+bear+amy+huber&qid=1623158588&sr=8-1 Survey: https://forms.gle/nFZZBJbZ91QisLGf7 Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/  NEW ZEALAND: Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP). Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). Healthline – 0800 611 116 Samaritans – 0800 726 666 Youthline – 0800 376 633 Click here for more NZ based helplines and services. AUSTRALIA: Click here for Australian based helplines and services. USA: Distress &  Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 Click here for more USA based helplines and services. UK: Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300 Click here or here for more UK based helplines and services. CANADA: Click here for Canadian based helplines and services. WORLDWIDE: Click here or here for international suicide lines. REFERENCES: https://toxicties.com/narcissistic-grandmother-children/ https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/narcissistic-grandmothers/ https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2019/01/how-to-deal-with-narcissistic-grandparents#1 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

This week, Porsha and Chloe talk about pseudomutuality and how the narcissist orchestrates the perfect family facade. We also have a survey for you to fill out if you want to! https://forms.gle/nFZZBJbZ91QisLGf7  Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ Books mentioned: Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison; Girl A by Abigail Dean; Codependents Guide to the 12 Steps by Melody Beattie. NEW ZEALAND: Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP). Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). Healthline – 0800 611 116 Samaritans – 0800 726 666 Youthline – 0800 376 633 Click here for more NZ based helplines and services. AUSTRALIA: Click here for Australian based helplines and services. USA: Distress &  Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 Click here for more USA based helplines and services. UK: Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300 Click here or here for more UK based helplines and services. CANADA: Click here for Canadian based helplines and services. WORLDWIDE: Click here or here for international suicide lines. REFERENCES: https://dictionary.apa.org/pseudomutuality https://lovefraud.com/pseudomutuality-in-the-narcissistic-family/ https://www.insider.com/sibling-dynamics-behaviors-narcissistic-families-2019-7 https://www.themadtherapy.com/single-post/2019/03/14/narcissistic-families-the-abuse-tactics https://anchoredabode.com/2019/08/06/the-narcissist-family-structure-scapegoat-golden-child-and-blacksheep/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

Welcome back! Oh, how we've missed you all. Thank you for listening to us and thank you for supporting us! AUSTRALIA: Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36 Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732 Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78 Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre USA: Distress &  Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word UK: Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300 CANADA: For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/ NEW ZEALAND: Lifeline: 0800 543354 Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected].  If you need support, please see the numbers below. Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ NEW ZEALAND:  Lifeline: 0800 543354 Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202) AUSTRALIA:  Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36 Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732 Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78 Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre. USA:   Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word UK:  Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300 CANADA:  For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

Welcome to the second episode of 2021. This week, Chloe and Porsha discuss parentification; what it is, and all the negative things that can result from it. If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected].  If you need support, please see the numbers below. Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ NEW ZEALAND:  Lifeline: 0800 543354 Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202) AUSTRALIA:  Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36 Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732 Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78 Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre. USA:   Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word UK:  Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300 CANADA:  For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/ References: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification#:~:text=Parentification%20is%20the%20process%20of,alienating%20parent's%20emotional%20life. https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/parentification/ https://theawarenesscentre.com/parentification/ https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/10/when-kids-have-to-parent-their-siblings-it-affects-them-for-life/543975/ https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/family-boundaries-and-the-parentified-child/ https://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/parentification/ https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-narcissist-parents-psychological-warfare-parentifying_b_59124c7de4b0e070cad709df?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAABFevPPUteVy1HfK_cEWMIeMiByu8L3K9Gxm3t9SNGu9y7Rz3nGMSGyuxENVdFwTI7lYbtylgRBO760P6RxgG6BHiyxuPQ4dMICW4BsNwKf0tcY6BCUbjag3JQFDxXLf7raE3mWsjyozkmBFNpFZzDNKJBl4eA82v_oVeTYZYe22 https://theawarenesscentre.com/narcissistic-parent/ https://recoveryhelpnow.com/breaking-the-cycle-of-parentification/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message

It's 2021 and TNCC is back! For the first episode of 2021, we are talking about forgiveness. Should you forgive your narcissistic mother? If you want to send some feedback or just say hi, email us at [email protected].  If you need support, please see the numbers below.  Black Lives Matter: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/  NEW ZEALAND:  Lifeline: 0800 543354 Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (Text 4202)  AUSTRALIA:  Lifeline Crisis Support: 13 11 14 Beyond Blue: Depression and anxiety support: 1300 22 46 36 Rape & Domestic Violence Services: 1800 737 732 Men's Line: 1300 78 99 78 Headspace: Youth Mental Health Foundation: see headspace.org.au for your local centre.  USA:   Distress & Lifeline: 1800 273 8255 Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741 741 Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 799 7233 Victim Connect: support for victims of crime: 855 484 2846 MTC program: maketheconnection.net/resources/spread-the-word  UK:  Mind: mental health support: 0300 123 3393 SANE: mental health support: 0300 304 7000 Samaritans support network: 116 123 National Stalking Helpline: 0808 802 0300  CANADA:  For a list of Canadian crisis centres: https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/  References:  https://medium.com/publishous/do-you-need-to-forgive-your-abuser-to-heal-faf20303be87  https://www.ashleyeaster.com/blog/forgiving-doesnt-mean  https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/why-i-dont-use-the-word-forgiveness-in-trauma-therapy-0120164  https://www.psychcentral.com/blog/good-daughter/2018/07/should-you-blame-or-forgive-your-narcissistic-difficult-mother https://ragingfemale.com/adult-child-of-a-narcissist/#:~:text=A%20narcissistic%20parent%20can%20twist,parents%20when%20you're%20young https://outofthefog.website/  https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/tncc/message