Why People Pleasers Fail With Women - SFTS 120

Co-Host Nicholas Velotta (https://www.mountaintoppodcast.com/arya) My first-time guest Nicholas Velotta is an intimacy researcher for a company called Arya. Arya curates sexual experiences for couples everywhere. Nicholas's IRB-approved study of over 600,000 people found about how guided erotic experiences actually affect long-term attraction and connection. What did the data from couples reveal about the specific communication gap men fall into around desire? Next, discover why attraction doesn't fade on its own, and what the data shows actually triggers or kills it in long-term relationships. What can men specifically do differently to become the partner who keeps attraction alive? Also, find out why structure and novelty (not spontaneity) sustain erotic connection, and what couples can do about it right away. Could it be true that many men have sexual desires or fantasies that they wouldn't tell their "macho" friends about? (You decide...) You'll also get a  breakdown of Arya's "Scenes" (Heat, Taste, Bound, and more), including what they are, how they work, and why couples who use them report deeper intimacy and sustained attraction. Get the free report Flip The Switch: 5 Things You Can Do Right Now To Be Better With Women, and also take the Reality Check Inventory quiz...both at https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT=== It's easy for us as men to say we'd really just like a normal, pretty average woman. After all, if you're who I call "Gen-Eric" you're wearing normal clothes, driving a normal car, working a normal job and living a normal life. So why wouldn't a woman like "Gen-Erica" who seems to match up well with you not want you? Well, that's not how it works, unfortunately. While it's definitely not about "average" women requiring some Chad to spoil them rotten, there is a certain part of your masculine nature that needs to be activated in order to get the result you want. And guess what? You're likely to transform that "normal, average woman" into her best self in the process. Take the Reality Check Inventory quiz for FREE at: https://mountaintoppodcast.com/realitycheck === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

Co-Host Dr. John DeMartini (https://mountainoppodcast.com/perceptions) It's easy to get kind of a warped perspective on our relationship with a certain woman--or women in general, really--especially if we've gone through a bit of a "dry spell" or haven't yet experienced the kind of success we'd really like. In those cases, we already know we need a whole new way of looking at things because what we're doing is openly sabotaging our chances with the very women we want. My first-time guest Dr. John DeMartini is a world-famous human behavior expert, and he has powerful ways of reframing and/or even resetting how we as men look at relationships with women. First off, how is it we as men put women on a pedestal at best, or completely dismiss them as "out of our league" at worst? And how do we repair that mindset? What does "The Miracle Of Selfhood" have to do with how our perceptions of women get so warped and unbalanced? What does John mean when he says, "envy is ignorance, imitation is suicide"? What's the difference between a caring and a careful relationship? Why is comparing our gifts and liabilities to those of our significant other often fatal to a relationship over time? How do different parts of our brain preside over different aspects of our relationships with women? Do we really "belong to each other"? What's the essential reframe there? And finally, what do we as men do that only proves we deserve the chaos and the drama that ensues in the relationship? Overall, this is one of those conversations that smart guys love, so enjoy. Take the new Reality Check Inventory quiz at: https://mountaintoppodcast.com/ === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT=== We all want to be our true selves in any situation, of course. But how do you head-check yourself to make sure you're presenting your real, natural self when approaching and meeting women? How about on first meetings, or those first few weeks when you're getting to know them? As it turns out, there's a sobering but potentially dead-accurate way to tell. All is revealed in this brief episode. Where do you stand? Take the Reality Check Inventory quiz for FREE at: https://mountaintoppodcast.com/realitycheck === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

Co-Host Lauren Salaun (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/essence) We talk about the masculine/feminine dance quite a bit around here, but what is the very essence of femininity? And especially, how would a woman define that herself? My first-time guest is Lauren Salaun, who is a transformational facilitator and somatic life coach. When she came to me with the idea for this show, at first it sounded a bit basic. But after 500 episodes, we've never talked about it the way she presents it. So what IS femininity, and what ISN'T it? And how do women sometimes exhibit "masculine energy" even as feminine women? What are feminine women actually looking for in a man, beyond those surface-level interview questions? How can a man bring out a woman's feminine energy, and what do men do to shut it down? Why can a woman be soft with one man and hard with another? What's the difference between a woman who wants you vs. one who just chooses you? What makes a woman feel safe enough to fully open up and surrender? Next, why attraction fades, and the subtle ways men lose it without realizing. What's the dynamic between masculine leadership and feminine trust? What does emotional safety actually look like to a woman? And by the way, what does it even mean to "regulate your nervous system"? Get your FREE copy of Flip The Switch: 5 Ways To Be Better With Women Immediately when you go to https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

==SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT=== For years there has been talk about "going direct" with women. Well, how can you directly approach and talk to women while being "indirect" at the same time? Unlock that secret and open up a whole new (and easier) way to tell what a woman's interest level is, whether she has a boyfriend or not, and more...all before you get her number and tell her you want to see her again. Get the BRAND NEW report on 5 ways to get better with women RIGHT NOW for FREE at: https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

Co-Host John Kim (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/johnkim) We've had a number of guests define "love" different ways on this show. My returning guest John Kim, author of the new book Love Hard On Purpose, thinks of it as a deliberate, daily practice. Well, isn't that the same thing as love being a decision, rather than simply a feeling? We jump right in by talking about whether couples should feel guilty for being happy. John isn't sure there's really such a thing as a happy couple. So what does love look and feel like to John? Do couples who love each other fight...or what's the better word for the healthy kind of expression there? John is from LA and his partner is from NYC. What happens when cultures collide in a relationship? What do most couples fail to do daily in demonstration of their deliberate love for each other? How should couples handle the inevitable evolution of their selves and their relationships over the course of their lives together? What are some of the subtle traps or pitfalls couple run into when trying to deliberately love each other daily? Does the daily act of loving someone require a break to do something else? For all I talk about taking ourselves less seriously, when should we take our partner particularly seriously? And how should couples handle criticism of each other? In the end, ah screw it...let's talk about surfing. Get your free copy of Flip The Switch: 5 Ways To Be Better With Women Immediately when you get in on my daily email newsletter at: https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT===Far too many men wait passively for a woman to come into the picture. And when she does, they expect her to make the first move...whether that's showing them some sort of flirtatious sign or downright approaching them first and saying "hello". In the real world, that rarely happens. As men, we lead. We make things happen. And it shouldn't feel as if we HAVE to, it should be more like we GET to. When we take the initiative, we WIN...and that goes for most every area of life, not just success with women. But how do we DO that? Expect real-world examples in this brief episode. Get the BRAND NEW report on 5 ways to get better with women RIGHT NOW for FREE at: https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

Co-Host Suzanne Noble (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/noble) My first-time guest Suzanne Noble is the host of Sex Advice For Seniors. Whatever you're thinking, forgettaboutit. She is candid, open and honest enough to make Dr. Ruth Westheimer blush. So what can a woman who's compiled over 10,000 hours of sexual activity (now Malcolm Gladwell's blushing as well) tell us about sex and relationships? Well, after bantering a bit about her being an American in London for over five decades, we jump right into how qualified she is to share with everyone what works, what doesn't, and what pisses her off. Adding up Suzanne's 10,000 hours, she was quick to mention that some of that was in five- or six-hour increments. How do you last six hours? Can you have snacks, or even take naps during sex? What is up with "performative sex", and how does maturity help us stop focusing on that? Sex is supposed to be fun, but is it also supposed to be silly? Are multiple orgasms really necessary...or even desired? Why do even younger men experience so much ED nowadays? How can we move from performance to connection during sexual experiences? Why do men resist talking about sex with women in detail, and especially talking during sex? What intricacies of good sex do we never see or understand by simply watching porn? Check out Suzanne's very cool Yes, No, Maybe Checklist when you visit her Substack. Also, get on my calendar for free to talk about what you have going on in your life with women nowadays. https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT===People pleasers have the bad habit of trying to seek approval from everyone. Typically, talk on this subject gravitates around how people pleasers attract narcissists, which is a bad thing for sure. But there's an even darker side to this mindset and its associated behavior pattern that almost guarantees perpetual failure with women. Worse, most people pleasers have a massive blind spot. How can you figure out what is actually happening, put a stop to it, and start going about things the right way? Here's a hint: When you do, you'll almost immediately get all the approval that's been somehow eluding you all this time. Get the BRAND NEW report on 5 ways to get better with women RIGHT NOW for FREE at: https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.