#34 - ...Or Your Girlfriend: Alex's Coming Out Journey with a Life Shaped Through Bob Jones University

Today, we have a Modesty Files first as we welcome mother and daughter duo, Kathy and Christine to the show. Kathy and Christine journeyed through IBLP together throughout her daughter, Christine’s, formative years. Through their time at IBLP, both Kathy and Christine interacted with Bill Gothard, and in this episode, they detail the strange way Gothard interacted differently with mothers and their teen daughters. Kathy and Christine have an honest conversation about their differing perspectives on the situation at the time.Topics in this episode include mature adult themes, so listener discretion is advised.So it’s time to strip that modesty cover, put on some comfy pants, and let’s catch up with Kathy and Christine on this week’s episode of the modesty files!Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

On today’s “Where are They Now” special episode we’re speaking with April, one of our Season 2 guests. While her episode was released in 2021, we recorded with her in 2020. Since chatting, April has quit her job for good at a white evangelical church and is finally ready to share an additional piece of her story that she wasn’t ready to speak about at the time.We recommend relistening to Episode #20 - Girl, You're a Missionary: April's Divine Calling to Study at the Masters Commission so you can jump straight into the new one!Content Warning: This episode includes the use of strong language, so listener discretion is advised.So it’s time to strip that modesty cover, put on some comfy pants, and let’s catch up with April on this week’s episode of the modesty files!Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

Today we’re speaking with Sarah, who left the Church of Christ about a decade ago. After having an abortion at age 19, she felt so guilty that she vowed that the next person she would date she would marry. However, she ended up trapped in an abusive marriage. Their relationship started with love-bombing and eventually turned into heavy verbal abuse and manipulation. Her pastors encouraged her to remain married because, “you can’t divorce your husband just because he’s mean to you.” Sarah remained inside the cycle of abuse until she finally escaped a year and a half later.A brief content warning, we will be discussing physical and emotional abuse and other mature themes, which may be upsetting, so listener discretion is advised.Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

Content Warning: We spend a fair amount of time in this episode discussing suicide and abuse, which may be upsetting, so listener discretion is advised.We have a very special show for you today. In Season 2, we released an episode featuring Julie and the Pentecostal Community she grew up in. Julie’s congregation was run by a female pastor who members referred to as “Granny.” She encouraged adult men to get vasectomies and forced teenagers to clean offices at night. Well, today we are continuing this story. Our guest, Billy, is a close friend of Julie’s and was also a member of Granny’s toxic church environment. He’s going to share with us his experience inside the church and how he eventually left this high control groupWe highly recommend going back to listen to episode #15 to learn more about the church’s practices and beliefs, but if you want to jump right in, you should be good to follow along. If you, or someone you know, is struggling with suicide ideation, please use the following resources:Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255Crisis Text Hotline: Text "HOME" to 741741Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

Today, we are speaking with Anne Jisca, a Canadian woman and former evangelical missionary. She participated in short-term mission trips as a teenager, and after getting married at 22, she and her husband, Josiah, pursued full-time missionary work all over the world. During that time, Anne Jisca gave birth to five children, and the pressure of being the perfect missionary started to build up. Her mental and physical health suffered, and in 2019, Anne Jisca and Josiah decided to leave missionary work for good.Topics in this episode include suicide ideation and other mature adult themes, so listener discretion is advised.After leaving the church in March 2020, She and Josiah began a podcast of their own called Seeking Health, where they aim to bring fun and informative discussions about deconstruction, reconstruction, health, and hope in a post-evangelical world. You can listen to Anne Jisca's podcast "Seeking Health" here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/seeking-health-with-josiah-anne-jisca-meyer/id668410493Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

In this episode we discuss physical child abuse, sexual assault, suicide ideation, and other topics that may be upsetting, so listener discretion is advised.Today we’re speaking with Clarissa, who is here to share with us the fundamentalist teachings that were enforced in her home. Her parents were primarily influenced by Michael and Debi Pearl, writers of the 1994 book “To Train Up a Child.” This book encourages parents to use corporal punishment and has sold hundreds of thousands of copies to evangelical Christians since its release. Clarissa’s parents inflicted these abusive practices on her younger siblings and justified the actions with their religious beliefs. Clarissa is now sharing her story to shed light on this abusive parenting ideology.Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

On today's episode, we're speaking with Allie, who is here to share with us her experience growing up influenced by the Advanced Training Institute. She spent most of her childhood focused on perfection, like following her parents' rules or protecting her purity. Her interactions with the organization’s leader, Bill Gothard, left her feeling uneasy and confused about her relationship with faith. But as she grew older, she started to question why following human made rules supposedly led to rewards from God. Ultimately, Allie decided to walk away from the Gothard teachings and break from the regulations that once defined her. Topics in this episode include mature adult themes, so listener discretion is advised.Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

Today, we are speaking with AnnaMarie, a woman who has recently left the Mormon church. The Mormon church is one of the newest Christian denominations and also has one of the most unique origin stories. AnnaMarie was born into and grew up in the Mormon Church and accepted its customs as ordinary until she went off to college. She was committed to her role and the expectations of her church, but when she tried to leave quietly she was stalked by missionaries in the group. She’ll get into the details on her involvement and more in today’s episode.Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

On today’s show, we’re speaking with Alex, a woman who was raised in United Pentecostal Church International. She attended an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist school whose practices were heavily influenced by its neighbor, Bob Jones University. She frequently visited the campus for sports and music recitals, and had to follow all of the required rules. Alex is going to share with us what religious practices she followed growing up and how breaking away from the church allowed her to embrace her sexuality as a queer woman.Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.

Today we’re continuing our conversation with Lindsey. Last week, she shared with us was it was like growing in ATI culture and working with Bill Gothard at Headquarters for the Advanced Training Institute. If you haven’t listened to Part One, we highly recommend going back to hear Lindsey's story from the beginning. Lindsey is going to share with us how she ultimately left ATI, fell in love, and started a new life for herself outside of the church.Topics in this episode include mature adult themes, so listener discretion is advised.Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfilesFollow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.