Raising Daughters: Preparing Ourselves to Prepare Our Girls

This is a special, last-minute episode and an important one. In the wake of the Silver Rails shooting in our hometown of Bend, we sat down with our dear friend and therapist Sally Lemos, MS, LPC to talk about what to do when tragedy strikes close to home. Moments like this bring up our deepest fears as parents, and Sally shares biblical, therapeutic, and psychological wisdom for caring for ourselves and our kids. While this conversation was prompted by Silver Rails, it applies to any tragedy your family may face, big or small.We start with caring for yourself first, because we can’t offer comfort unless we’re in a place of comfort ourselves (2 Corinthians 1:3–7). Our kids don’t need parents who are never afraid or who shield them from all pain; they need parents who show them what to do when fear comes. From there, Sally walks through how to start the conversation without forcing it: leading with curiosity, listening more than explaining, and remembering that silence doesn’t mean an absence of emotion.We also talk about helping kids feel safe without dismissing their fears, looking to the story of Lazarus in John 11, and about practical tools like returning to family rhythms and watching for signs that a child may need outside support. Finally, we explore how grief and hope can be held together, which is the story of the whole Bible, and why becoming a safe space matters so much, especially since we’re all going to mess up. We close with Helen Mallicoat’s beautiful poem “I Am,” a reminder that He is with us in our present pain.Navigating Tragedy PDF: www.intentionalparents.org/resources#tragedyScripture Mentioned: 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, John 11:1-44 + John 16:33Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

What do we actually want our girls to know about being a woman? Join us for a conversation between Elizabeth and Diane, where we draw on our experience raising daughters to explore what God needs to form in us first so we can pass it on to them. We look at what Scripture says a woman is and share what we wish we’d done differently. We push back on the lie that there’s one right way to be a woman, and talk about coming alongside our daughters rather than telling them who to be. That begins with two foundations: becoming aware of our own woundedness, and listening to the Spirit, who knows our daughters better than any parenting book or Instagram reel ever could.From there, we begin walking through three things to teach our daughters. The first is her design. From Genesis 1–3, we unpack the idea of the “ezer” and the woman as a giver of life. Even if she never marries, she is an ezer, and even if she never becomes a mother, she is a giver of life. That identity in Christ doesn’t change. The second is to have a voice and use it with wisdom. Her voice matters, she doesn’t have to stay silent, and she can speak with graciousness.The third is a healthy theology of work. We add context to the Proverbs 31 woman, a passage often used to pressure women, and point out that women have always worked, though rarely without a village around them. We want to give our daughters the freedom to pursue hobbies, passions, and careers, and to be honest with them that work and motherhood collide in messy ways. God cares more about our formation than about labels like stay-at-home mom or successful career woman. This conversation was so rich and full that we’re saving the last two points for a part two, coming soon.Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 1–3, Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 21:9 + Proverbs 31Book Mentioned: Hearing God by Dallas WillardPrevious Podcast Episode Mentioned: Walking With Kids Through Grief, Good News in Sad Stories + Singleness in Church (Interview with Annie F. Downs) (Apple Podcasts, Spotify + YouTube)Diane’s Substack: A Quiet PlaceSowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

In an age of cancel culture, estrangement and relational strain are touching more families than ever. In this episode, we explore humility as the antidote, looking at six marks of a humble person and how they can transform every relationship in your life, from staying teachable when we're corrected to being willing to move toward repair when there's been hurt.Staying teachable is hard when we're busy protecting ourselves from being exposed. With teenagers especially, it's tempting to lead with facts, but listening to understand rather than to correct helps them feel heard and loved. When we take honest ownership of our part, we model responsibility for our kids, and something as simple as saying "you're not wrong" can open the door for humility on both sides. Because shame sits just beneath the surface, we need to respond with care, remembering that pride often masks insecurity and that our tone of voice reveals whether our strength feels like protection or pressure.Ultimately, it isn't our job to reach our children's hearts. That's God's work, and our role is simply to guide them to Him. Since real control isn't possible anyway, releasing the outcome and entrusting everything to God brings freedom, and when one person moves toward repair, the other often follows. Put simply, a humble person is teachable, curious, responsible, gentle, surrendered, and willing to repair. And if someone puts you on a pedestal, it's your job to get off it.The Antidote to Estrangement: Six Marks of a Humble PersonA humble person is teachable. Remaining teachable is a choice we have to keep making. When someone corrects you, do you become curious or defensive?A humble person listens with curiosity. In every relationship, whether marriage, young kids, or adult children, we listen to understand, not to correct. Do the people you love feel heard by you, or merely answered?A humble person takes responsibility. This isn't humiliation; it's honest ownership. Can I name what I did without first explaining why I did it?A humble person is gentle with their strength. Meekness is not weakness. Do the people in my home experience my strength as protection or pressure?A humble person does not need to control the outcome. Control isn’t possible anyway. Am I offering wisdom, or am I trying to secure the outcome I want? What am I afraid of?A humble person is willing to repair. An unwillingness to forgive or to receive forgiveness is a pride issue. When there has been hurt, do you move toward repair, or do you wait for the other person to make the first move?Scripture Mentioned: James 4:6, Isaiah 66:1–2, Philippians 2:8, Deuteronomy 6:4, Philippians 2:21, Proverbs 27:15–16, Luke 4:22, John 7:46 + Matthew 5:3Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

What if there's someone better out there? Why is marriage so hard? In this final episode of our Stay in Your Cell series, we name that forbidden thought for what it is: a lie. We start with our own story, including the struggles in our marriage, because we're still in process ourselves.Paul warns that anyone who marries will face trouble. Every marriage has it, from deep heartache and betrayal to the mundane difficulties of daily life. Marriage is also a mirror that reflects who we really are, and the pressure cooker of marriage and kids only makes that mirror bigger. The lie says life would be easier and happier with someone else. But what if, instead of running, you stayed in the pain long enough to find joy in the life you already have? The Desert Mothers and Fathers taught that if you stay in your cell, it will teach you everything you need to know. Staying means accepting the spouse you actually married, not the idealized version we can endlessly edit in our minds. If you feel broken right now, God is with you, and this is not the end of your story.Here are four practices for staying:Name the marriage you're comparing yours to. Then ask what you believe that marriage would give you that you're longing for.Own your side of the street. Each spouse can ask: What is mine to own? What is mine to do? What is mine to release?Practice turning toward one another. When you want to withdraw, make one move toward your spouse.Renew your yes. Tell each other that you still choose them.When we do our own healing, we bring healing to the next generation too. God gives grace to the humble, and since we can't control our spouse's formation, each of us has to humble ourselves and invite Jesus into the desperate places. Our first yes was said with hope; our later yes is said with knowledge. So maybe the better question is: what if you stay long enough to let God use your spouse to make you the kind of person He wants you to be?Scripture Mentioned: 1 Corinthians 7:28, Genesis 24, Colossians 3:13, John 15:4, James 4:6 + Matthew 5:3Book Mentioned: A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene PetersonSowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

As part of our “Stay In Your Cell” series, we pose the question: Why is it so hard to find community, and even harder to stay in it? When the family is growing and the calendar is full, it's easy to not send the text, not make the plan, and slowly drift away from the people in our lives. Plus, our culture hands us an easy exit whenever things get uncomfortable: we can unfollow, leave the group chat, or leave the church, and before long we become relationally aloof. And if you're a young family with no relatives nearby and you're struggling, it may be because you were never meant to do this life alone.We talk about how the early church in Acts wasn't built on everyone getting along perfectly or sharing the same life stage and preferences. It was built on being on mission together. Community is a mirror: it reveals our priorities and shows us whether we're hospitable, controlling, or somewhere in between, because we're letting people who aren't family see our weaknesses and our true selves. Inevitably, people will annoy us and church will bother us, but sometimes healing is on the other side of being known, and we can't be known without staying involved.We close with four ways to find and keep community: choose your people before you need your people, practice confession often, repair before replacing, and become the friend you keep wishing you had. Not everyone has to know everything, but some people have to know most things. You can't be deeply known if you're always starting over. And by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can stop critiquing the people around us, stay faithful, and choose to grow right where we've been planted.Scripture Mentioned: James 5:16, Acts 2:42, Colossians 3:13, Galatians 6:2 + Proverbs 18:24Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

We're kicking off a new series called "Stay in Your Cell," and it starts with a question we've both been sitting with: why can't we stay where we are, in the current life we actually have?Before we get there, we share an update on the last eight weeks: Elizabeth's ongoing chronic back pain, and how it's shaping the honesty we're bringing into this conversation. We're in this with you, frustrations and all.The series title comes from a saying attributed to the Desert Mothers and Fathers: “Stay in your cell, and it will teach you everything.” Your cell is your home, your job, your community, the actual life in front of you, not the one you're imagining somewhere else. We talk about the difference between being called away from a place and simply being unable to remain in one, and why our generation in particular struggles to stay: bigger houses, nicer cars, a different kid, a different spouse, or just the quiet pull of a screen that makes escape easier than it's ever been. We're honest that escaping doesn't require leaving. Sometimes it's just a phone in your hand while your actual life waits in the next room, and even if you did leave, the same root discontentment would follow you.We land on four practices for learning to stay: naming your escape fantasy (finishing the sentence "if ________ changed, things would be better"), practicing receiving your actual life, building a rule of life for the season you're really in, and refusing to make big decisions out of temporary restlessness. Grounded in Philippians 4 and Romans 5, this episode is an honest, hope-anchored conversation on contentment, perseverance, and the ordinary life you've been given to actually live.Scripture Mentioned: Philippians 4:11-13 + Romans 5:3-5Books Mentioned: What Grows in Weary Lands by Tish Harrison Warren + Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison WarrenPrevious Episode Mentioned: 20 Years From Now: What You'll Wish You Focused On As a Parent (w/ Sally Lemos, MS, LPC) (Spotify, Apple Podcasts + YouTube)Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

Healthy families keep getting to know each other. We tend to think we already know our family, but people change, and when we stop asking questions, we start assuming intentions instead. Jesus ran into this too: in John 14, he asks Philip, “Don’t you know me...even after I have been among you such a long time?” Even Paul kept pursuing "that I may know him" in Philippians 3, present tense, never finished. If our relationship with Jesus keeps evolving, so does every relationship we're in, and that includes the people at our own table.In this episode, we walk through five conversation starters, mostly for adult kids and their parents, though they work with siblings, friends, or your own teenager too. This is less about family trivia and more about what actually formed the people you love.5 Questions to Ask:Who were you before you were my parent?What happened to you that shaped you more than I realized?What was it actually like to be you in our family?Is there anything between us that makes it harder to be close?Who are you becoming, and how can I love you well now?When someone's answer is hard to hear, we talk about the one response that changes everything. Don't defend or explain. Simply say "tell me more." If you’re willing to ask brave questions, be prepared for brave answers. One piece of wisdom before you press play: don't ask all five at once. Pick one question, one person, and let it unfold over time, since getting to know each other isn't a one-time project, it's a lifelong rhythm. And as you go, ask the Holy Spirit to give you discernment for what to ask and when, and watch him do healing work in places you didn't even know needed it.Scripture Mentioned: John 14:9, Philippians 3:10, Matthew 13:1-23, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Proverbs 28:1 + Psalm 139:23-24Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

This week, we open up about Sowing a Hidden Seed: Daily Prayers for Your Marriage to Heal, Grow and Flourish, our new prayer devotional for marriage, and the honest, sometimes hard road that led us to write it. This isn't a book born from a picture-perfect marriage. It came from a real one: two people who have had to learn, over and over, that marriage is worth the fight even when it's hard.We walk through the heart of the devotional and where it came from, including a reflection from the Sermon on the Mount on what it looks like to be blessed and flourishing, even in the middle of struggle. We talk honestly about how neither of us can thrive in marriage on our own strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit. We also share how the writing process itself became a lesson in marriage: two people learning, again, what it means to become one.From there, we read from two of our favorite (and hardest won) days in the devotional: “Speaking Life” and “Tenderness,” days that speak directly to areas we've each had to grow in. We talk about the practice of praying borrowed prayers when you don't have your own words yet. And ultimately, we emphasize the comforting reality that if you and your spouse aren't currently praying together, that's okay. Give yourself permission to start where you are. It will feel awkward at first, and it gets easier as you build a joint practice of prayer.If you're not praying together as a couple, let this be your invitation to start, one small, imperfect prayer at a time.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition is currently available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community. Learn more at intentionalparents.org/devotional.Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 5:1-12Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

This week, Brook and Elizabeth answer your real questions on marriage, ministry life, and parenting without a blueprint. First, we tackle supporting a spouse through mental health challenges and healing work, while avoiding enabling and codependency. This often requires doing your own work, not hiding behind theirs. It's easy to excuse yourself because your spouse "has more to heal from," but compassion and personal growth have to go together.Next, we dive into staying yourself while honoring a spouse who values structure more than you do, starting with remembering your differences aren't a problem to fix. Sameness was never the goal. It's worth knowing which hills are actually worth dying on.From there, we talk about the myth of true balance between parenting and ministry. Some seasons ask more of your work, some ask more of your family, and they rarely line up neatly. What matters is stepping back to check the ratio over the long haul, so one area isn't quietly draining another.We also get into parenting without a healthy example growing up, and why it takes real intention. You need models, whether that's books, podcasts, or watching other families closely, because even a good childhood didn't prepare anyone for parenting in today's world. The real turning point is recognizing a pattern isn't working before you can choose something different.Finally, we land on what to do when you're too exhausted or brain dead to spend time with the Lord. We talk about how He isn't guilting you into showing up. He sees your exhaustion and still wants to connect inside of it, which is why ritual matters so much, so you do it regardless of how you feel that day. He's not asking you to try harder, just to come as you are.If any of this sounds familiar, we hope it's a reminder that you're not walking through any of this alone.Scripture Mentioned: James 1:2-5 + John 5:39-40Book Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald RolheiserPrevious Episode Mentioned: You're Not Broken: Finding Freedom and Clarity Through an Adult ADHD Diagnosis (YouTube, Spotify + Apple Podcasts)INTRODUCING… Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition, a 31-day prayer devotional for marriage, available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series

Are you disappointed? In your marriage, your kids, your job, your friendships, even your relationship with Jesus? Maybe there's a quiet voice saying "it could be better," and you're not sure what to do with that.This week, we sit with disappointment: what it actually is, what Scripture says about it, and how it can become a place of growth instead of just a place of hurt. We share honestly from our own lives, including the disappointment we've walked through around physical pain and suffering, and the very human instinct to protect ourselves from ever being let down again. Choosing to hope is a risk. It means choosing to be disappointed too, and we talk about what it looks like to take that risk anyway, and to ask a better question than "why did this happen": what will bring God glory in this?We look at what disappointment brings to the surface: hidden expectations, unhealthy attachments, the places where we've been grasping for control, and false assumptions about God and about other people. Scripture never treats disappointment as a failure of faith. It gives us lament instead of denial, a way to bring our full, honest selves to God rather than around Him.We also draw from the Desert Mothers and Fathers, who saw disappointment as part of spiritual formation itself, and from Elisabeth Elliot's reminder that the secret was never a different set of circumstances, but Christ in her. That's the destination we're aiming for: not the removal of disappointment, but a deeper trust inside of it.Four practical ways to move through disappointment:Name itExamine the expectation beneath itFeel it without numbing itSurrender what you cannot controlScripture Mentioned: Psalm 13:1, Psalm 22:1, Proverbs 13:12, Luke 22:39-44, 1 Samuel 1 and 2 + Psalm 6:6INTRODUCING… Sowing a Hidden Seed: Marriage Edition, a 31-day prayer devotional for marriage, available as our thank you gift to Legacy Builders, Intentional’s monthly giving community.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: October 15-17, 2026 in Portland, ORIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Sowing a Hidden Seed: Parenting EditionJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brookmosser@emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily DevotionalRaising Passionate Jesus FollowersThe Intentional Film Series