Parenting with Scars + Becoming the Parent We Needed (A Conversation w/ A.J. Swoboda)

This week, Brook sits down with Tyler Staton — pastor of Bridgetown Church in Portland, author, husband, and father of three boys — for a profound, powerful conversation about mortality, margin, weakness, and prayer.Tyler shares his journey through an unexpected and grueling cancer diagnosis, offering a raw look into the spiritual refinement that comes when you’re suddenly faced with your own limitations and mortality. As he puts it, “You don’t know the prayers you’ll pray until someone says, ‘We don’t know whether you will live or die.’”Through that crucible, Tyler discovered that suffering can be an invitation — a call to live fully present, to reorder your life around what matters most, and to let go of the pressure to make everyone happy. He shares the practical steps he took to prioritize his family, build in margin, and live more intentionally on the other side of crisis.We also explore how his wife walked through the experience in her own way, and how childhood narratives around strength and weakness shaped his ability to be vulnerable. Tyler reflects on the beauty of being met in weakness — how vulnerability creates space for others to come close in love.Finally, we close with a rich conversation around prayer — specifically, how we can guide our children into a vibrant, Spirit-filled prayer life. Tyler offers a simple and powerful framework for praying with and for our kids, reminding us that they may be far more spiritually attuned than we often realize — and how we might inspire them to “carry the fire.”Books Mentioned: Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools + The Familiar StrangerTyler Staton: Website, Instagram, 24-7 Prayer + Bridgetown ChurchIntentional Fatherhood: Website, Instagram, Spotify, Apple Podcasts + YouTubeMotherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

This week, all four of us sit down for another Marriage Q+R, diving into your questions about navigating tension and other difficult dynamics in marriage.We talk through when it might be wise to extend forgiveness face-to-face versus process it privately, and explore the nuance between sin in thought and sin in action — while remembering that all sin must ultimately be brought before God.We share practical ways to re-prioritize your marriage in the midst of busy seasons, especially when kids, work, and other relationships start to crowd out your connection.We also tackle the challenge of navigating disagreements about your children’s commitments — from extracurriculars to therapies — and how to unify around your family’s core values.Finally, we close with a tender conversation about how to bring your children into the broken parts of your own family story — honoring the truth while walking in wisdom toward those still living and involved.Whether you're in a season of clarity or conflict within your marriage, we hope this episode gives you language, encouragement, and direction for the road ahead.Scripture Mentioned: Matthew 5:23-24, Ecclesiastes 1:9 + Proverbs 25:11Previous Episode Mentioned: Hopelessness, Bitterness, Simmering Resentment, Passive-Aggressiveness, and Everyday Forgiveness in Close Relationships (Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube)Submit Questions: [email protected] Fatherhood: Website, Instagram, Spotify, Apple Podcasts + YouTubeMotherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

Fresh off the Intentional Marriage Retreat, we sit down for a special Q+R episode — answering your thoughtful questions about marriage. In this conversation, we discuss a variety of topics with a special focus on one overarching theme: growing in spiritual connection with your spouse.We talk about how to nurture spiritual intimacy in your marriage by creating space for regular, meaningful conversations about your faith. We also tackle some of the more challenging dynamics: how to lovingly invite your spouse to reflect on unhealthy patterns even if there is resistance, how to encourage a reluctant husband to step into spiritual leadership, and how to navigate past wounds together with grace.This episode offers practical tools and biblical perspective for deepening spiritual connection, healing past pain, and becoming more of who God created you to be — together. Whether your marriage feels strong or strained, there’s wisdom here for every couple walking the journey of faith together.Scripture Mentioned: Proverbs 16:20-21, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, Ephesians 4:29, Psalm 139:23, Proverbs 16:24, 1 Peter 3:1-4 + Ephesians 5:33Intentional Fatherhood: Website, Instagram, Spotify, Apple Podcasts + YouTubeMotherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

Do you ever feel stuck in a reactive cycle as a parent — responding in ways you wish you wouldn't, again and again? Like Paul in Romans 7:15, you might find yourself saying, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”Here’s the good news: you’re not broken — you’re patterned. And patterns can be healed.In this episode, we unpack what it means to be shaped by behavioral patterns, where they come from, and how they show up in our parenting and marriage. We explore the early steps toward recognizing and healing these patterns, and how God’s redemptive work can bring real change.Through scripture, personal stories, and practical steps, we guide you toward deeper awareness — and point you to the healing that leads to freedom and greater connection in your home.We also make an exciting announcement on the podcast today: Intentional Fatherhood is officially launching on Friday, June 13! In the meantime, visit the website, follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on Instagram, and subscribe to the podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.Steps for Experiencing Healing From Patterns:1. Name the story2. Grieve the loss of what should have been but wasn’t3. Invite Jesus into that wound4. Practice new patternsReflection:Reflect on one pattern that shows up often in your marriage, parenting or friendshipQuestion:What is that pattern protecting you from and what is it trying to say?Prayer:Ask Jesus to help you be curious and kind about your story.Scripture Mentioned: Romans 7:15, 1 Corinthians 11:1, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Romans 7:14-18, Romans 7:22-25, James 1:19-20 + Isaiah 53:3Motherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

This week, we’re getting honest about our inadequacies as parents — when all we can say is, “I can’t.”Inspired by The Fellowship of the Withered Hand, a concept from John Ortberg’s Steps, we explore how embracing our weaknesses can actually be a gateway to deeper healing and growth. Rather than hiding our shortcomings, what if we brought them into the light — to both God and to trusted community — and found strength in surrender?Rooted in the story from Mark 3 where Jesus heals a man’s withered hand, we talk about the courage it takes to stretch out the broken parts of ourselves. As parents, that might mean owning our impatience, our fears, or the lies we tell ourselves about needing to have it all together.Because the truth is, we all have withered hands. The question isn’t if we’re broken — it’s whether we’re willing to hold out our hands for healing.Steps to Addressing Our Inadequacies:Admit: Acknowledge that you have “withered hands” and name what they are.Invite: Ask God for help in your weaknesses.Release: Let go of control over your shortcomings and the outcomes of them.Remember: You are not alone in this journey!Questions to Ask Yourself:Where in my parenting do I say, “God, I can’t?”What would it look like to make prayer my first parenting move — not my last?Prayers to Pray:God, what keeps me from admitting my weaknesses? What shame is hurting me and keeping me from admitting?God, point me to the books, podcasts, teachings and people you want to use to speak into my life.Books Mentioned: Steps: A Guide to Transforming Your Life When Willpower Isn’t Enough by John Ortberg + Soul Keeping: Caring For the Most Important Part of You by John OrtbergScripture Mentioned: Mark 3:1-6, Matthew 5:3, 1 Corinthians 10:12, Isaiah 66:1-2, Psalm 8:4, Mark 5:25-34, Matthew 8:23-27, Hebrews 4:14-16, 2 Corinthians 12:10, Matthew 7:7, 2 Corinthians 12:5, 2 Corinthians 12:9 + James 5:16Motherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting PDFFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

This week, all four of us sit down for a meaningful conversation about everyday forgiveness — small, often-overlooked moments of hurt that show up in our closest relationships and call for repair. Whether it's with a spouse, parent, friend, or coworker, these minor offenses can quietly accumulate and widen the distance between us — unless we learn to close the gap before it becomes a chasm.Diane shares a personal story of a generational pattern of unforgiveness in her family of origin and how it shapes the way she responds to hurt. We each reflect on how unforgiveness can quietly manifest in our lives — as self-pity, hopelessness, bitterness, simmering resentment, passive-aggressiveness, or even “scanning for rejection.”Turning to Scripture, we explore powerful examples of radical forgiveness — including some of Jesus’ final words on the cross — and what it means to forgive not just once, but “seventy times seven.”Drawing from our own relationships, we talk about why forgiveness becomes easier when we understand a loved one’s story and emotional triggers. We also offer three practical ways to express everyday forgiveness and return to a truth we’ve seen time and again: rupture and repair build resilience.Forgiveness isn’t a one-time act — it’s ongoing, relational, and essential. Tune in to discover how you can begin practicing this spiritual rhythm in your daily life.Scripture Mentioned: Ephesians 4:32, Psalm 23, Matthew 6:9-13, Philippians 4:6, Psalm 119:11, Hebrews 12:15, Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 23:34, Acts 7:54-60, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Romans 12:18Motherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

This week, we’re thrilled to welcome back our dear friend A.J. Swoboda — author, professor, theologian, lay pastor, and fellow podcaster — for an honest conversation about what it means to parent while carrying our own scars. Like physical ones, emotional scars tell the story of pain endured and healing found.We talk about the reality that many of us are giving our kids something we never received — emotional health, spiritual guidance, or intentional presence. While that’s a beautiful gift, it can also bring up unexpected feelings of shame or even jealousy as we confront the gaps in our own stories.We discuss some practical tools for parenting with scars, including Jon Tyson’s Primal Path, a discipleship program for fathers and sons. We also reflect on how our children often become the ones who draw our scars into the light, asking questions that push us to face painful parts of our past.Ultimately, we highlight the fact that healing is a slow, intentional process — and how parenting through our scars invites both challenge and redemption. We found our conversation with A.J. to be rich, emotional, and full of hope — and we think you will too.Book Mentioned: His Face like Mine: Finding God's Love in Our Wounds by Russell W. JoycePrevious Episode Mentioned: Procedural Memory: How God Redeems Reflexes, Rewrites Patterns and Renews the Mind (Spotify + Apple Podcasts)Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 2:24A.J. Swoboda: A Teachable SpiritSubversive Sabbath Other BooksWebsiteSlow Theology PodcastNewsletter InstagramMotherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

Do you ever catch yourself wishing away the ordinary, mundane days of parenting — those moments that feel repetitive, exhausting, or spiritually dry? Maybe you carry guilt for not “praying enough,” or wonder when you’ll ever have space for deep spiritual encounters again.In this week’s episode, Brook and Elizabeth invite you to reimagine what prayer looks like in the midst of diapers, dishes, and daily routines. They explore the idea of praying the ordinary — cultivating an inner posture of attentiveness, availability, and surrender in even the most mundane moments.Drawing from real-time personal experiences, they share how to incorporate breath prayers into your day, practical ways to invite God into the small things, common obstacles to practicing ordinary prayer — and how to overcome them.With honesty and hope, Brook and Elizabeth remind us that you are never too ordinary for the presence of God. He delights in showing up in the unnoticed spaces, and there is a heavenly reward for living in righteousness and rejoicing in the ordinary.Breath Prayers You Can Borrow:Inhale: “Lord, you’re my strength.” Exhale: “Help me love with patience.”Inhale: “You know my child.” Exhale: “Better than I do.”Inhale: “Father, shape my heart…” Exhale: “…to reflect yours”Inhale: “I surrender control.” Exhale: “I trust your care.”Inhale: “Come, Holy Spirit.” Exhale: “Guide my parenting today.”Scripture Mentioned: Colossians 3:17, Genesis 1:26-28, Revelation 3:19-20, Psalm 23 + Romans 12:1Books Mentioned: Prayer by Richard Foster, Domestic Monastery: Creating Spiritual Life at Home by Ronald Rolheiser, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence + Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life by Tish Harrison WarrenMotherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsJoin Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

This week, Brook sits down once again with author, professor, theologian, lay pastor, and podcaster A.J. Swoboda to talk about the importance of having a teachable spirit in today’s world. Centered around his latest book, A Teachable Spirit, this episode invites listeners to see teachability not just as a personality trait, but as a deeply spiritual discipline.We begin by naming a sobering truth: “We have become a culture that demands repentance but shames people who actually do it.” In response, A.J. points us to a better way — the way of Jesus — urging us to become teachable people rooted in humility and grace.Starting with the definition of a teachable spirit, we explore the role of humility, the difference between teachability and impressionability, how we remain teachable in marriage and parenting, the value of repair with our kids, and the gift of childlike faith — pointing out the countercultural idea that “things are better when kids are in the room.” A.J. also previews the groups in his book that we must learn how to learn from: experts, the dead, strangers, culture, children, and more — even when it's uncomfortable for us as Christians.Ultimately, we land on the “why” behind it all: why is this posture essential to the mission of the Church? A.J. ends with a moving picture of extreme humility and teachability — carried all the way to our last dying breath.Our conversation is full of humor, vulnerability, depth, insight, and, of course, humility. If you’re longing to grow — or simply wondering what it means to become a more teachable person — don’t miss this one.A.J. Swoboda: A Teachable Spirit, Subversive Sabbath Other Books,Website,Slow Theology Podcast,Newsletter InstagramScripture Mentioned: 2 Peter 3:16, Daniel 1, Genesis 2:20-24, Matthew 19:13-15, Luke 6, John 7 + Matthew 16Motherhood Retreat 2025Join Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series

Do you ever find yourself at a loss when it comes to disciplining your children as they move beyond the toddler years? Do you wish you could instantly curb the pushback, mood swings, and moments of disrespect?This week, we discuss our Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting resource, which reframes how we respond to our children’s behaviors by emphasizing both correction and connection.After all, God has hard-wired us all for connection — and this should dictate how we relate to our kids, no matter the circumstances. Looking to Jesus as the model for demonstrating both kindness and firmness, we emphasize not only the importance of each, but also the order in which we respond to outbursts or misbehavior.We explore the two extremes we often see in parenting: 1) the authoritarian, emotionless “because I said so” style focused solely on squashing the behavior and 2) the overemphasis on emotional validation without any sense of firm boundaries or consequences.So how do we strike that balance? Tune in to find out!Scripture Mentioned: Romans 11:22, Romans 2:4, Proverbs 3:11-12, Proverbs 22:6, John 1:14, Psalm 94:19, Proverbs 15:1 + 4, Proverbs 29:17 + Matthew 11:28Motherhood Retreat 2025: More Info + Purchase TicketsBottom-Up vs. Top-Down Parenting ResourceForest Home Family Camp: Week 6 (All four of us are speaking!)Join Our Legacy BuildersWatch on YouTubeFollow Us on Instagram: @intentional_parents @brook_mosser @emosserFREE Text Message Daily Devotional MerchGrab a Copy of Our Book:Raising Passionate Jesus Followers (Now available in audiobook!)BlogThe Intentional Film Series