[Rebroadcast] How to Stop Justifying Yourself

#255: When people experience cognitive dissonance — that is, a clash between one’s self-concept and reality — they will tend to favor their self-concept, and can rationalize this bias in a process of self-justification. This process can thwart meaningful personal growth. In this episode, we discuss self-justification, how to identify it and how to overcome it — and a clever way to use it to develop deeper bonds.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#254: It’s a widespread belief that when experiencing negative emotions like anger or frustration, it’s helpful to vent them. In fact, this practice is counterproductive. Studies indicate that when people express negative emotions in this way, far from letting them out, they in fact get more of them. This result is confirmed by a consideration of the neuroscience of perception and appraisal. In this episode, we discuss the origin of the theory of catharsis, why it’s wrong, and what to do instead — and what to do if someone is venting to you.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#253: In their 2019 book “The Power of Agency,” Paul Napper and Anthony Rao lay out their theory of growth and happiness, which centers on the concept of “agency.” In this episode, we compare their seven principles with OptimalWork’s approach, and show how ideals are essential to true agency.Find more at ⁠https://OptimalWork.com

#252: Procrastination is something of a mystery. Its costs — decreased quality of work, fraying of bonds with others, increased negative emotions like stress, even negative health effects — are universally acknowledged. Yet procrastination persists — or, put precisely, people persist in procrastinating. In this episode, we discuss the primary cause of procrastination (a reluctance to experience negative emotions like stress or reluctance), how it leads to a vicious cycle of procrastination, and how to overcome it.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#251: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Majeres continue their discussion of Optimal Parenting with another set of questions. They begin with the importance of connection during child meltdowns and the balance between emotional regulation and moral teaching. The final question sparks a long discussion of the importance of rituals in helping parents build family culture and pass on their beliefs and values. The conversation highlights that rituals, whether daily or weekly, provide a sense of safety and predictability, ultimately aiding in children's emotional regulation and moral development.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#250: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Kevin Majeres field questions about parenting based on the previous episodes in the series. They address common concerns from parents, including how to rectify past mistakes, manage anxiety in children, and foster connections in large families. The conversation emphasizes that it's never too late to improve parenting practices and that modeling change can positively influence children. They provide practical strategies for parents to enhance their relationships with their children, regardless of their age or past parenting styles.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#249: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Kevin Majeres focus on the essential role of discipline in effective parenting. They discuss the challenges parents face in setting and enforcing limits, and the importance of establishing clear expectations and consistent routines. The conversation highlights how discipline, when rooted in connection and guided by positive reinforcement, helps children develop self-control and responsibility. They also revisit the “1-2-3 Magic” method as a practical approach to managing misbehavior, emphasizing how consistent, calm discipline fosters long-term growth and character formation.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#248: In this episode, Sharif Younes and Dr. Majeres discuss the third quality of Optimal Parenting: consistency. Regular routines, standards, and ideals—applied consistently—foster children's intrinsic motivation and emotional stability. The conversation also highlights the benefits of challenges and discomfort in family life, the role of best practices, and the impact of nutrition, sleep, and screen time on child development. The episode concludes by showing how consistency strikes a balance between laxity and rigidity in parenting, ensuring that higher ideals—not just outcomes—guide parenting and family practices.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#247: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres delve into the second principle of Optimal Parenting: fostering and conveying confidence in your child’s ability to grow and thrive on challenge. They discuss the importance of skills and ideals, and practical strategies for parents, starting with real-life scenarios. The conversation highlights actionable takeaways for parents to implement in their daily interactions with their children, ultimately aiming to cultivate a love of learning and the ability to navigate challenges effectively.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#246: In this episode, Sharif and Dr. Kevin Majeres do a deep dive into the first principle of Optimal Parenting: the power of connection during challenging moments for children. They discuss the dynamics of dynorphin surges and how parents can help children navigate these emotional storms through bonding and validation. The conversation emphasizes the balance between being overly sensitive (enmeshed) and being too detached, advocating for a mindful middle ground approach to parenting that fosters resilience and growth in children.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com