[Rebroadcast] How to Discipline Your Children While Deepening Your Bond with Them

#265: When a child does something wrong, your first instinct may be justice: to punish them. In this episode, we discuss “No-Drama Discipline,” by Daniel Siegal and Tina Bryson, exploring how to discipline children in a way that builds your bond with them and promotes their moral development. By connecting with your child, helping him or her gain insight into what went wrong, and look for ways to repair and reintegrate, discipline becomes a way of actually deepening your bond with them, rather than a source of friction.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#264: Difficult situations can feel intolerable. That intolerable feeling is produced by dynorphins and it makes us want to give up and abandon the difficulty we’re facing, whether it’s exercise, a difficult task, time in the sauna, or some small annoyance. But the more we embrace the dynorphin effect — the intolerable feeling — the more we develop a kind of inner strength. And, paradoxically, we end up unleashing a subsequent wave of endorphins, which cause feelings of wellbeing and improved mood. In this episode, we discuss how to harness this effect to grow in ideals and form deeper bonds.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#263: What do you do when you feel tired? Go back to sleep? Take a nap? Power through? In this episode, we discuss a number of approaches to overcoming tiredness, from tracking your levels of fatigue (not recommended) to changing up your diet. But the ultimate approach draws on all the principles of OptimalWork and will actually help you harness tiredness for increased energy! Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#262: Mindfulness lies at the heart of OptimalWork’s approach. Living your highest ideals means being fully present, fully engaged with reality. Cultivating this habit is the work of mindfulness. But mindfulness rests on a set of apparent contradictions. Foremost among them is this: while mindfulness involves accepting reality as it is, it is often used as a way of achieving personal or behavioral change. In this episode, we discuss this apparent paradox and others, shedding light on the true nature of mindfulness and how to practice it most effectively.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#261: The two fundamental ways you can relate to challenge are approach and avoidance. Typically, approach leads to a virtuous cycle: the challenge gets easier and more enjoyable over time as you grow in mastery. Avoidance, on the other hand, often leads to a vicious cycle of increasing difficulty and pain. In this episode we further break down approach into three levels — tolerating, accepting, and loving the challenge — to show how to speed up the virtuous cycle and maximize your growth in the process.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#260: With rising rates of anxiety and depression, some have suggested that managers be trained to provide “mental-health first aid” to employees in distress. In this episode, we discuss the best ways managers can help employees thrive at work, how to help them grow, and how to balance the need to get results from their teams with the ideal of supporting and mentoring them.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#259: What’s the best way to prevent distractions? Are prevention techniques — like website blockers — effective? In this episode, we discuss different strategies aimed at behavior change. We argue that the source of the most sustainable behavior change is to build self-mastery through right action. By doing this, you’ll be laying the foundations for new predictions by your brain. Over time, it will come along and be no longer a source of friction, but a great help in pursuing meaningful action.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#258: Reframing is a practice that developed from cognitive behavioral therapy. It means discovering the opportunity present within a challenge. If you face a challenge that causes anxiety, distraction, or burnout, reframing can help you approach it more effectively. But reframing can do more. It will also help you harmonize the different parts of your life so everything is working in the same direction: toward your highest ideals.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#257: At the heart of our approach is the practice of a Golden Hour: preparing your mind for a time of work, focusing on one thing, and setting a stop time in advance. Doing a Golden Hour brings the key practices of psychology into your hour of work, so you not only do your best work, but you also practice bringing your highest ideals into your actions, which is the entire goal of OptimalWork. In this episode, we discuss the genesis of the Golden Hour, how to do it well, and some common questions about how to tailor it do different situations.Find more at https://OptimalWork.com

#256: Shame is the emotion we feel when we fear that our failures or weaknesses will become known. This fear can lead us to pursue certain outcomes as defenses — money, success, prestige, etc. — or to shy away from challenges that will expose us. In this episode, we discuss how to experience and accept shame, and why doing so gives us a profound freedom and unlocks the most meaningful forms of growth. Find more at https://OptimalWork.com