ICYMI: Holiday "Don't List" Inspo with Kathleen Donahoe

I have a great time talking with Kathleen Donahoe about the health realities that led her to be an expert don’t list creator, how she’s using her budget to drive her holiday Don’t List this year, and why letting go of traditions to make space for others is especially meaningful for her this year.ALSO: If you are looking for a great gift (what is better than the gift of community and connection!?) for a loved one or yourself, you can support this small business by getting 20% a yearly membership! Come on and join the fun! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

I had a blast talking to Virginia Sole-Smith about her “Friend Friday” tradition, and the insights she’s gathered from the Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith Community about making Deep Casual Hosting work!I also snuck in a question about Virginia’s move to Patreon!Feel free to check out Virginia’s work on deep casual hosting here.Here’s my landing page of all Deep Casual Hosting content! Also, only 2 more days to get a DEEP discount on a year long Double Shift Membership. $42 instead of $80. Get it quick! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

I had a blast talking about Amanda Litman’s weekly experiment of hosting friends at her Brooklyn apartment every Saturday night. My favorite parts of this conversation were discussing how NOT having a perfectly clean house can actually make guests feel more welcome, how to handle entertainment for kids, and how much this regular connection has bolstered Amanda’s mental health in these trying times. I hope you enjoy my “deep casual” beach hair look live from Central America! 😂 ICYMI, here are some of our writings on the topic. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

I felt an absolute zing of electricity when I opened a message a few weeks ago asking if Shannon Watts could interview ME for her Substack Live series. Along with being a longtime fan of the incredible national movement Shannon has built for common sense gun laws with Moms Demand Action, I love her Substack Playing with Fire. It’s all about prioritizing desires (especially around activism and social change) over social expectations. Her newest book, Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark Into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age is now available for preorder, out in June 2025, and I can’t wait to read it.This was the first extended interview I’ve given about what I’m learning about for my forthcoming book, HOW TO FIND YOUR PEOPLE. Give it listen and let me know how I did! (I thought of several additional things I could say after the interview was over.)Be sure you are subscribed to The Double Shift on Substack and you want in on the How to Find Your People Club, come join us! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

I’m back with an update on what I’ve been working on—The How to Find Your People Club, an IRL community-building project tackling loneliness and disconnection. Plus, exciting news: I’m writing a book!In this episode, I’ll share more about the club, why community matters, and then dive into my latest audio newsletter, How Busyness Stops Us from Meaningful Connection. If you’ve missed hearing from me, come join me on Substack.The written version of this newsletter is here. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

We are constantly surrounded by aspirational images of human connectedness but according to American Time Use Survey data, Americans' time socializing in person declined 20% from 2003 to 2023. The How to Find Your People Club exists to help you build meaningful relationships, and doing that within a community is an extremely meaningful and practical way to build strong connections. This audio newsletter will explain the difference between friendship and community. While both are very important, I’ll explain why I’m laser-focused on helping people cultivate the latter. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

I am very angry right now. In my community, I’m witnessing a fixable systemic childcare problem be cemented squarely on the shoulders of individual families, rather than those with power and resources collectively addressing a real need.My beleaguered public school district is waving the white flag of surrender to its working parents over our afterschool program. In this week’s audio newsletter, I’ll make a case for why we have to resist the dismantling of safety nets. This is the last free audio newsletter for everyone. If you’re a paid member, you still have access. If you’ve loved these audio newsletters and want to try out our membership program, go to thedoubleshift.substack.com/listeners for a free 30-day trial.Now I want to change gears from fire breathing to recommend a few Substacks to you:I love the Substack from Lindsey Stanberry called The Purse. She gets personal with the people she interviews and it’s so illuminating. My favorite one of her series is Home Economics where people share al the nitty gritty details about what they spend money on in a month. Also has a Division of Labor series about household responsibilities among couples I think Double Shifters will love.Also, definitely check out I’m Walking Here by Liz Gumbinner. She’s one of the original tastemakers in the mom space looong before momfluencers were a thing, and her newsletter is a great mix of common sense advice, analysis of current events, observations on parenting and parenting culture, pithy media commentary, unabashed feminism, GenX nostalgia, oddly persistent optimism, gift guides and recommendations.Members-only Hangout THIS FRIDAY! I can’t wait for our Members-only hangout on March 15th at 3pm EST! I’m thrilled that two long-time Double Shift members will join me in conversation about how creativity and caregiving intersect, overlap, conflict, and interplay. This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot as my “day job” requires "creativity.” But writing doesn’t always feel “creative” for me when it’s part of my “work.” I will be joined by musician Jaspar Lepak and visual artist Ilyse Iris Magy. Whether you are also a professional creative, someone who explores creativity through hobbies, someone who’s shelved creativity because of your caregiving duties, or someone who thinks they don’t have a creative bone in your body, this will be an enriching discussion for us all! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

After all of the intensity of being a business lady and switching platforms in the last few weeks, I thought I’d change gears with this occasional beloved series on a wide range of things that make my life better. None of these are a substitute or solution for a robust social safety net or a society that values care, but they are still fun. Nothing in this list is sponsored, and not all require purchases to experience.If you love audio newsletters and what to try out our membership program, go to thedoubleshift.substack.com/listeners for a free 30-day trial.Recommended Links:* Zuri Kenya Dresses* The DoubleTree Inn and Suites* Ukiyo Teacup* The Substack App* LocopopsIf you love the Double Shift, I think you’ll also love: * Matriarchy Report: Journalists Allison Lichter and Lane Anderson have a great weekly newsletter focusing on solutions to issues around care work and family life. Their formats include personal essays, Q&As with authors and experts of all kinds, as well as original reporting. I was honored that they recently featured my work at New America under the awesome titles 8 Great Gifts for Caregivers and Every Time Motherhood Radicalizes Someone, an Angel Gets Its Wings. Check out their great work and give ‘em a Subscribe.Making it Work: If you liked this edition of The Double Shift newsletter, you’ll love the thoughtful recommendations from Youngna Park ’s great newsletter. Her taste is impeccable (or just very similar to mine) and well-researched, especially in the books department for both kids and adults. Also, I love that she makes great recommendations without being overly consumerist, which feels like a fine line sometimes. I think you’ll love it as much as I do. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

In this week’s audio newsletter is an essay about Sophia Chitlik, who is running for NC state senate here in Durham, North Carolina. What excites me the most about Sophia is that she’s promoting a platform we need candidates from across the country to try out. She’s running on care. You can connect with Sophia and read more about her campaign at her website, https://sophiafornc.com. If you love audio newsletters and what to try out our membership program, go to thedoubleshift.substack.com/listeners for a free 30-day trial. If you love the Double Shift, I think you’ll also love: Therapy Takeaway: Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD(who’s also the author of the wonderful book, Real Self Care) has a newsletter that tackles fascinating systemic issues moms in particular face but brings her unique perspective as a reproductive physiatrist to offer concrete and insightful solutions. I loved her recent post, How to Make Hanging Out Happen, which gives helpful framing on how and why we feel like we never have time for unstructured connection with people. She also offers great ideas for creating more “hangout space” in your life. Platonic Love Letter: I recently discovered the work of Aliza Sir Sir and Aja Frost and their wonderful newsletter devoted to friendship. I’m particularly taken with their 8-week Training Program for Friendship, which they describe as a “running club meets support group for friendship.” with prompts, action items, and robust discussions in the comment threads. Based on conversations I’ve had with Double Shifters over the years, building meaningful friendships is top-of-mind for many of you, so definitely check out and subscribe to Platonic Love Letter.  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to the audio version of The Double Shift newsletter, read by yours truly, Katherine Goldstein.Today’s edition is about my big financial decision to switch newsletter platforms, and what it means to “start over.” I’m ready (with my face scrunched and my fingers crossed) to take the risk of asking my existing members to stick with me by taking a few extra steps to sign up again with their credit cards on Substack. I believe what I do is valuable. I want it to reach more people. I want to earn more money for it. If you are new to The Double Shift newsletter, some recent posts you may enjoy are my two-part series: The “Every Family for Themselves” Fight for Summer Camp & How to Make Summer Better for Everyone. Or check out Millennial Dads and The Caregiving Praise Conundrum, Your Working Conditions as A Parent Are Unacceptable, or How to Make Friends as An Adult. If you want more audio newsletters and want to be a part of our community, subscribe now and become a member of the Double Shift. If you have questions or need help with your podcast feed or membership, reach out to us at [email protected]. You can get a one month free trial of The Double Shift newsletter on Substack by going to thedoubleshift.substack.com/listeners or click the button below. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thedoubleshift.substack.com/subscribe