Half Plant Half Chicken

Join me on a walk in the park where I ruminate about class A drugs, have a surprising encounter with a dog, and meet a duck called Nigel. Then it’s back home with Ellie for Listener updates, Le Creuset News, and a dramatic true crime story involving our ten-year-old nephew Jasper.

I’m not well. IN fairness, people have been telling me that for years. I have a sore throat and cold. Still, I soldier on, like the brave boy I am, to bring you a mini podcast, featuring an anecdote about a recent gig, some more school reports, and a creaky door update. Plus I gain a new famous follower.

More kangaroo testicle facts courtesy of James Fagan. Cassette Roulette features gladiators, monsters and an incontinent celebrity. And does this podcast have a very high-ranking listener from the world of politics?

Featuring the reveal of my new surely-soon-to-be viral dance hit, inspired by our seventeen-year-old niece Imogen, and her What’sapp message to us , reacting to the pilfering of her pain au chocolat. Former medical doctor turned folk musician James Fagan returns with another animal testicles fact. And there’s major Le Creuset News.

Featuring loud Christians, a mute delivery driver, and a perverted research student. Folk musician and former medical doctor James Fagan is back to chat about bollocks and bullocks, and I get excited and have a bit of an accident. 

Folk singer and former medical doctor James Fagan joins us to talk bollocks. Cassette Roulette takes us on a strange journey from the poetry of Arthur Seymour John Tessimond to Pat and Peggy of EastEnders. Our niece inspires a dance hit with her posh pain au chocolat panic, we check out British Gas’s sexually suggestive TV advert, and there are more mystery musical challenges, this time with an incendiary twist.

I’m talking taps in Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression. Join me in the kitchen for another exciting dish-washing special, providing listener Steve with one heck of a high-scoring round of Exclamation Cricket. The return of Cassette Roulette leads us down a rabbit hole involving Ross Noble and an alligator. There’s more vestibule-based chat, more mechanical music challenges, and Ellie turns roving reporter, conducting an exclusive interview for Le Creuset News.

It’s been a while, but this week I recount a harrowing journey that involves coming under attack on a deserted street in Sheffield. I also have an awkward incident in a bakery. To unwind, I take a bath—and fear not, I bring you in with me. There’s an update on my recent dalliance with the Daily Mail, plus more recordings of listeners’ washing machines and more mechanical musical challenges.

This week, Ellie gets a Google Alert for my name, linking to a Daily Mail article in which I am mentioned and quoted. We read you the article, then embark on some investigative journalism of our own to uncover the truth behind the story. And that’s not the only article we read on this week’s podcast: we also have the write-up of the very strange interview I did for a Yorkshire newspaper last week. Plus listeners’ Yorkshire jokes, more mechanical musical challenges and, I suppose at this point it probably goes without saying, more Le Creuset news.

It’s a very literature-heavy podcast this week, as we bring you spontaneous limericks, a poem from my ten-year-old self, and I recount the rather unusual newspaper interview that I did a few days back. Plus, finally, after months of waiting, I’m back in the kitchen for a dishwashing special. More mechanical musical challenges, more Le Creuset news, and the return of our catchily titled feature Technological Regression Masquerading As Technological Progression.