#76: Why You Keep Attracting the Same People, Jobs, and Problems

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University unpack a deceptively simple idea that has massive implications: never leave a place—only go to a place. What started as a personal insight turned into a powerful life rule that breaks the cycle of self-sabotage and repeating patterns.They explore how seeing patterns—not just events—gives you the power to change your life, why externalities and baggage follow you when you don't deal with them, and how turning hard-earned lessons into rules creates real wisdom. Whether it’s relationships, jobs, or cities, this episode will help you stop running and start transforming.

In this inspiring episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University reveal the 12 Gets—a simple, science-backed system that helped Derek shed 130 pounds, reverse pre-diabetes, and reclaim his life.Born from a sabbatical of deep systems thinking and personal transformation, the 12 Gets offer a blueprint for health, longevity, and mental fitness. From “Get Moving” to “Get Smart” to “Get Challenged,” each “Get” is both accessible and adaptable—no gimmicks, just real strategies that work.Whether you're starting from zero or leveling up your routine, this episode gives you the tools to build a life that’s strong, clear, and deeply lived.GET THE BOOK: https://www.stsi.pro/product-page/connect-the-dots-book-pre-order-now

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University unpack one of the most misunderstood (and underrated) skills: integrity. It’s not just about being a “good person”—it’s about alignment between what you say and what you do.They explore why integrity starts as a relationship with yourself, how overpromising wrecks trust, and how to build integrity through purposeful practice. If you've ever struggled to keep commitments (especially to yourself), this episode shows you how to train integrity like a muscle—and why it's the foundation for every healthy relationship, personal or professional.

Feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone. In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University take on the everyday challenge of self-management—breaking it down into 3 essential tools: structure, rules, and distributed intelligence.From taming your to-do list and calendar chaos to creating space for flow, they share how systems thinking helps high performers (and the rest of us) build mental fitness, stay focused, and stop spinning in circles. Whether you’re neurodivergent or just drowning in deadlines, this episode delivers actionable strategies, personal stories, and real tools to help you win the day—every day.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University unpack what they call the “arsenal”—a core set of mental moves that bridge the gap between your professional life and your personal growth.They explore how tools like the RDS Barbell, distinctions, and perspective-taking can radically improve your communication, emotional regulation, and self-awareness. You'll learn why everything is personal, how agency is the key to freedom, and why metacognition is the superpower that changes everything.Whether you’re trying to set better boundaries, parent with more empathy, or lead more effectively, this episode shows you how systems thinking isn’t just for strategy meetings—it’s for life.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University unpack how systems thinking helps you handle life’s toughest changes—before they happen. They share a 4-step process for adapting in real time: build mental fitness, love reality, test your mental model, and adapt fast.You’ll learn why we mistake stress and emotion for “overthinking,” how System 3 thinking gets it fast and right, and why practice—not panic—is what makes you truly ready. Whether you’re navigating a layoff, a life shift, or just everyday chaos, this episode shows you how to stay clear, grounded, and mentally sharp.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore the central thesis of their paper, The Grammar of Reality: that both nature and thought are governed by the same four structural patterns—Distinctions, Systems, Relationships, and Perspectives (DSRP).They explain why nothing in the universe is static, why your mental models shape your experience of reality, and how understanding the underlying “grammar” of both the mind and nature unlocks profound clarity, agency, and awe. From glaciers to firestorms, from Maggie the dog to quantum weirdness—this episode redefines what it means to think clearly and live well.

In this clear and beginner-friendly episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University break down the who, what, why, where, when, and how of systems thinking. Spoiler: the “who” is everyone—because if you’re human, you live and work in systems every day.They explain what systems thinking really is (hint: it’s simpler than you think), why it helps you adapt and thrive, and how to get started using tools like the TQ, the 6 thinking moves, and the powerful Love Reality Loop. Whether you’re a kindergartener, a CEO, or just someone trying to think more clearly, this episode is your on-ramp.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University break down one of the biggest misconceptions in both science and everyday life: the false divide between theory and practice. They explain what theory really means (hint: it’s not your opinion about your dog), how science differs from academia, and why a well-tested theory is the most practical tool you’ll ever use.They also explore why complex topics like systems thinking tend to attract more opinions than evidence, why academic writing often feels impenetrable, and how translational research bridges the gap between real-world problems and scientific truth. If you’ve ever said, “That’s just a theory,” this episode will change how you think.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore why so many of our arguments and misunderstandings come from mismatched mental models. They break down why we react emotionally to words, why assumptions fuel conflict, and how asking simple questions like “What do you mean?” can defuse tension.You’ll also hear why blame and credit are lazy shortcuts, how to rethink “being literal,” and why tuning into reality is one of the most liberating things you can do. If you’re ready to communicate with less drama and more clarity, this episode is your guide.