Episode 204: Crying, grief, and loving presence with Michael Rose

This is another episode of the reparenting and reculturing series, and is based on The Marion Method, NOT Aware Parenting. I talk about why many people find it hard to say yes to what they have a yes for and no to what they have a no for, having grown up in The Disconnected Domination Culture. I share why this is particularly the case at this time of year. And I offer tangible suggestions for experiencing more safety in expressing full-body yeses and full-body noes. As well as Loving Presence statements to support that. If you're wanting to listen to past festive season episodes, you can do that here: Episode 30: Festive challenges Episode 120: Christmas feelings Episode 163: The opposite of overwhelm this festive season If you want to learn more about The Marion Method, you can do so on my Psychospiritual Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-psychospiritual-podcast/id1344385341 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I love this episode with Caitlyn Jaspers, who has been doing mentoring with me for the last 4 months. This episode includes both her practice of Aware Parenting, and also The Marion Method and Nonviolent Communication. Caitlyn starts off sharing her journey with Aware Parenting, which started when her 4-month-old son was waking very frequently. Once she started practicing Aware Parenting, his sleep shifted. However, she then saw how much of an effect her own inner work, including her exploration of her control patterns, her willingness to have her needs met, and her having her feelings heard, affected her son's ability to freely express his emotions. I love how clearly Caitlyn shares the direct and tangible effects of doing her own de-conditioning so she has been more and more willing to have her own needs met. I'm so grateful to Caitlyn for sharing her experience of how powerful we are as mothers, and what a difference we can make to our children's experiences and willingness to express their healing-feelings to us. If you want to learn more about The Marion Method, you can do so on my Psychospiritual Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-psychospiritual-podcast/id1344385341 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

My latest book is a bestseller already! THANK YOU SO MUCH! It's available at an introductory price of AUD $13.95 (or equivalent, wherever you buy it from in the world!) HERE ARE THE LINKS: AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/1763807533 US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1763807533 UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1763807533 DE: https://www.amazon.de/dp/1763807533 FR: https://www.amazon.fr/dp/1763807533 ES: https://www.amazon.es/dp/1763807533 IT: https://www.amazon.it/dp/1763807533 NL: https://www.amazon.nl/dp/1763807533 PL: https://www.amazon.pl/dp/1763807533 SE: https://www.amazon.se/dp/1763807533 JP: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/1763807533 CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1763807533 If you want to learn more about The Marion Method, you can do so on my Psychospiritual Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-psychospiritual-podcast/id1344385341 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I absolutely LOVE this episode with Linde Lambrechts, who has a Masters in Clinical Psychology, and is a Psychotherapist and Aware Parenting instructor. You may recognise her from my trilogy of Aware Parenting books, where she shared her beautiful stories. Linde talks about all kinds of topics in this episode, including reclaiming the beauty of our needs as parents. However, it's the stories she tells half way through the episode that brought us both to tears. She shares about what happened for her after being a beta reader of my latest book, 'All of Your Feelings are Welcome', and the incredible but very subtle and nuanced shifts she made in her presence as a parent, which led to some deeply moving and transformational effects. The stories were in response to aggression, which can be the hardest place for us as parents to embody this quality of loving but powerful presence, when our child is lashing out at us, their sibling, or another child. Hearing her share about what happened is one of the most moving experiences I've ever had on the podcast! You can find out more about Linde and her work at: https://www.lindelambrechts.be/ and https://www.instagram.com/lovinglimits/ My book that we talk about in the podcast is coming out in the next 24 hours! You can find it on Amazon in all countries! It's called, "All of Your Feelings are Welcome!" If you want to learn more about The Marion Method, you can do so on my Psychospiritual Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-psychospiritual-podcast/id1344385341 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I talk about why our yeses and noes are so important, how we disconnect from them growing up in The Disconnected Domination Culture, and how we can reclaim their power and beauty, and the safety that they bring to our lives. I'd love to emphasise again that this is NOT Aware Parenting. This reparenting series is based on The Marion Method. Our yeses and noes are our slug wisdom. Our innate body wisdom The DDC disconnects us from our our slug wisdom. As children growing up in The DDC, we often experience being shamed or punished for wanting what we want - our YESES. Telling us there's something wrong with our joy, excitement, and the fulfilment and satisfaction we receive from having, doing or being what we really want. As a result, we may be disconnected from even knowing what we want, let alone being willing for it, and asking for what we want. This is very common in mothers and leads to resentment and burn out. We also experience shaming and punishment when we try to say no what we don't want - our NOES. Telling us that our frustration and outrage is wrong, when in fact it's the natural response of our noes not being heard, and is the will energy that gets silted up when our no is not heard. As a result, we may feel flat, depressed, powerless, helpless. We may often say yes when we feel a no. The DDC sets us up to feel scared to truly stand in the power of our yeses. But the yeses are the way in which life comes into the world. Our noes are what keep us truly safe. How can we reclaim them? With The Marion Method: Loving phrases from our Inner Loving Presences and Life itself, welcome and celebrating our yeses and noes. Inner Loving Presence Process work, going back to painful times when our yes or no wasn't welcomed, and our Inner Loving Presences listening lovingly to our painful feelings. Reparative experiences of our yeses and noes being welcomed and celebrated, and our increasing experiences of deep fulfiment. Our willingness work, where we increasingly live from willingness, what we are wanting and willing for, which is an embodied YES, and seeing the power of that reflected in our experiences. Our will work, where we increasingly feel safe and free to say no when we have a no, including the power of our Neo No. Our Outer and Inner Loving Presence work, where our feelings of both excitement/joy and frustration/outrage are welcomed and we become increasingly comfortable with them in our bodies. In fact, from a MM perspective, I see life as a continual experiment, where every experience we have, we can see whether and what we had a yes or no to, so we gradually refine our choices. In this way, our personality, relationships, work, and life become a clearer reflection of our Soul! You can find my Inner Loving Presence Process Course here: https://innerlovingpresenceprocess.com/ You can find my Wonder of Willingness Course here: https://www.thewonderofwillingness.com/ If you want to learn more about The Marion Method, you can do so on my Psychospiritual Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-psychospiritual-podcast/id1344385341 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

When I added up the listens this morning, there were 3,033,364! Woohooo! Thank you SO much to everyone who has listened, whether that was to 1 episode, or all of them! And a very big thank you to Lael, who was the co-host for the first 123 episodes. I'm also so grateful to Aletha Solter, PhD, the Founder and creator of Aware Parenting. In this episode, I talk about the past episodes, the different series, and what's coming in 2025! If you're wanting to listen to past festive season episodes, those are: Episode 30: Festive challenges Episode 120: Christmas feelings Episode 163: The opposite of overwhelm this festive season To celebrate the three million, I'll be announcing a sale! Big love and gratitude! Marion xoxox You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'd love to emphasise again that this is NOT Aware Parenting. This reparenting series is based on The Marion Method. I came up with the concept and practice of the three types of feelings by integrating two philosophies: Aware Parenting, which includes what I call needs-feelings and healing-feelings. Nonviolent Communication, which includes what I call needs-feelings and thoughts-feelings. I'll explain more about this! But first, why is this important? Well, if we think that there is only one type of feeling, and the most apt response is the same to any feeling, we may miss the most apt response. In the episode, explain the three types of feelings in more detail, what they are caused by, and how to most aptly respond in the reparenting process. You can find my Inner Loving Presence Process Course here: https://innerlovingpresenceprocess.com/ You can find my Wonder of Willingness Course here: https://www.thewonderofwillingness.com/ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

It really is possible to get free from guilt! I'd love to emphasise again that this is NOT Aware Parenting. This reparenting series is based on The Marion Method. I'm so grateful to Marshall Rosenberg, who created Nonviolent Communication. It was from him, back in 2002, when my daughter was 9 months old, that I learnt about the true origin of guilt, and how it is simply a form of cultural conditioning. It's not an innate feeling. I also borrowed the term 'Domination Culture' from him. He in turn borrowed it from Walter Wink. I added 'Disconnected' to it, i.e. 'Disconnected Domination Culture', to emphasise that disconnection needs to happen in order for domination to happen. In contrast, in The Marion Method, I see our true nature as Love and Will - in other words, we are LOVE: deeply interconnected with all that is, and WILL: deeply powerful and connected with the power of Life, particularly through our yeses and noes. So, back to guilt! In this episode, I talk about how guilt is related to both Love--Hurts and Will-Hurts. Guilt has two functions: to coerce us into doing things, and to lead to uncomfortable feelings if we don't act as we think we 'should'. The first is related to will. The second to love. In comparison, with The Marion Method, we can transform self-coercion into acting from willingness, or being unwilling to do something. And we can transform the pain of self-judgment to deep self-compassion. Getting free from guilt is so life-changing, in ways that I explain in more depth. You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ The Get Free From Guilt Course is in a Facebook group and is here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/get-free-from-guilt-for-good/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted to be starting the reparenting series. I'd love to make it very clear that this is NOT Aware Parenting. It's The Marion Method. However, it was profoundly influenced by Aware Parenting, and in some ways is like practicing Aware Parenting with ourselves. Aware Parenting of course includes the importance of honouring our own needs, having community, and listening to our own feelings, but does not include any particular processes – beyond prompts for inner reflection about our childhood and the importance of meeting our needs and expressing our feelings – about of how to do that. Just as the sleep series went alongside me editing my 'Sound Sleep and Secure Attachment with Aware Parenting' book, this series goes with my next book, 'All of Your Feelings are Welcome', which is a combination of The Marion Method and Aware Parenting, and is designed to support reparenting so that we can more easily practice Aware Parenting. This reparenting series also goes alongside the publishing of my oracle cards, which also include inner loving phrases, and a live round of my Inner Loving Presence Process Course, which is a part of The Marion Method. In this episode, I share about my journey as a researcher in infant development, and psychotherapist, and how I saw that practicing Aware Parenting was far more effective than waiting until adulthood and having therapy. However, in my own journey of mothering, and which I saw replicated when I became an Aware Parenting instructor nearly twenty years ago, I was seeing all the ways in which mothers were tending to their children in terms of the three aspects of Aware Parenting, but ignoring their own needs, judging themselves and their parenting, and being harsh with themselves when their own feelings from the past came up to be healed. So I developed the Inner Loving Presences and Inner Loving Presence Process work, which is the Love part of The Marion Method. There is also Will work and Conversations with Life in The Marion Method too. This work was not only Inspired by Aware Parenting. It was also influenced by Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg, Psychosynthesis by Roberto Assagioli (including the sub-personalities work) and The Field Project by Philip Golabuk. In the episode, I share about how the Inner Loving Presences and Inner Loving Presence Process work and the Will and Willingness work work with reparenting. You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted to have Michael Rose, the father of our children, back on the podcast. He was a guest on episode 49. Michael is an Aware Parenting instructor, Tai Chi teacher, and RiverKeeper. In this episode, we share about Aware Parenting, and also about The Marion Method for reparenting. Michael includes perspectives from Tai Chi and from counselling adults. Also in this episode, there is more than the usual background noise of birds singing and dogs snoring. I'm sending love to any feelings that you might feel when you hear those noises. (When I experimented with taking those sounds out, all the life energy in our voices also went, so I left them in!) I invite you to experiment with being present with the sounds while you listen to our voices. Michael shares about his experience of being a part of the Mythopoetic Mens Movement in London in the 90s, and how it helped him practice Aware Parenting. We talk about how grief, crying, and love are interconnected, and how our capacity to cry and to grieve deeply affect our capacity to feel and offer love. I share about The Marion Method perspective of the three types of feelings, and why this is particularly important for adults, and how crying as a result of ongoing harsh thoughts-feelings is not actually healing. We talk about the research process of Aware Parenting, and listening to, and trusting, ourselves as well as our babies or children. Michael shares about his most recent experience doing more counselling training, and how that deepened his understanding of presence, and what presence people need from others in order to experience being safe to feel and express their feelings. Michael talks about the experience of how some dads can believe that being with children is tedious and boring, and how those thoughts and experiences can be transformed. We discuss the shift that can happen from listening to our baby or child's feelings being exhausting, to the experience of us increasingly being able to be present, and the experience being fulfilling and energising. We talk about how Aware Parenting helps our children be more present than us, but also how the reparenting journey helps us become more present. Please note, as a content warning, that Michael shares about an experience of a dangerous experience he had with other men, starting at 1 minute and 8 seconds. Michael finishes the episode sharing about his dream and vision for fathers. You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/ You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD