Episode 171: Blankets, bunnies and other control patterns

I love looking at how cultural beliefs and practices affect parenting, and in this episode I explore this in relation to sleep for babies and children. I talk about The Continuum Concept book about the Yequana people, by Jean Liedloff, and how reading it affected me back in 1992. I explore how Classical Attachment Parenting was deeply influenced by Indigenous cultures in hot climates, and how parenting beliefs and practices were often quite different in cold climates. I share about how Aware Parenting aims to differentiate between parenting practices that are based on cultural beliefs around and practices that are based on innate needs and body wisdom. If you'd like my free PDF to learn more about sleep, secure attachment, emotional release and Aware Parenting, you can sign up for it here: https://marion-rose.myflodesk.com/ssgsvngo66 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

Hello again! This is a very different episode, and it's for mothers, to mark Mothers Day in some parts of the world. Please note, that this is based on The Marion Method, rather than Aware Parenting. In the episode, I share three things: ~ An invitation to see what shows up for you on Mothers Day. ~ Me appreciating you as a mother. ~ Me standing in for Divine Mother / your Inner Loving Mother / the Soul version of your mother, and offering you loving phrases. I'm sending you love this Mothers Day and every day! If you want to learn more about my Inner Loving Presence Process Course, you can find it here: https://innerlovingpresenceprocess.com/ My Transformation Through Mothering Course is here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/transformation-through-mothering-twenty-twenty-one/ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted to be starting this second sleep series, in tandem with editing my book, Sound Sleep and Secure Attachment with Aware Parenting, as well as offering a live round of the course of the same name, and my first Aware Parenting children's book, on rambunctious play before bed. This episode is an introduction to what me and my guests will be talking about in this series. I include: The innate release and relaxation response all babies and children have. Differentiating cultural beliefs about sleep from innate biological wisdom. How sleep challenges are a reflection of needs and feelings. The three things babies, children and teens need to sleep peacefully. Why they're not fighting sleep but we're often fighting their release and relaxation response. How the relaxation response is the same as the intrinsic ability to heal from daily stresses and larger traumas. How we can have sound sleep and secure attachment with Aware Parenting. If you'd like me free PDF on sleep, you can access it by signing up for my newsletter here: http://eepurl.com/8ifhn The Sound Sleep and Secure Attachment with Aware Parenting Course is here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/sound-sleep-and-secure-attachment-with-aware-parenting-course/ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm grateful to one of my lovely mentees, who requested this episode, where I talk about some of the differences between Aware Parenting and Classical Attachment Parenting (a term created by me and adopted by Aletha Solter, the founder of Aware Parenting). Classical attachment parenting (CAP) refers to the original attachment parenting paradigm, which was first described by William and Martha Sears. The Aware Parenting (AwP) version of attachment parenting has several key differences from this original version. In this episode I talk about: Why people commonly make the change from CAP to AwP (frequent night waking being one of them). The three main differences between CAP and AwP. What people often notice the effects are of moving from CAP to AwP. These effects can include: Babies, toddlers and children sleep more restfully and calmly. If there are two parents, everyone can get their needs more. Clarity about understanding when to offer loving limits and why they're so important. They return to natural gentleness because of expressing healing-feelings. If you want to find out more, I recommend Aletha Solter's books including The Aware Baby and Tears and Tantrums. You can find information about her books at www.awareparenting.com My books, 'The Emotional Life of Babies' and 'I'm Here and I'm Listening" are also available on Amazon. I invite you to sign up for early bird information and my next book about Aware Parenting and sleep here: http://eepurl.com/8ifhn You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted that Kim Cousins is back on the podcast! Kim is an Aware Parenting instructor as well as a registered nurse who works on a perinatal mental health unit. She is also studying a graduate certificate in family therapy. She was also on episode 136 with her colleague, Erin. Please note that this episode talks about painful experiences in relation to food and feelings. As always, I invite you to listen in to yourself about whether you feel called to listen, and if you need to pause or stop at any time. I loved this episode! Kim shared about her process of learning to trust her children's innate body wisdom in relation to food, and how that has also invited her on her own journey too. Kim shared some powerful examples of how she trusts her children in relation to food, and the amazing effects that she's seen. We also discussed guilt and shame and food and suppressing feelings with food as adults. Kim highlights the cultural and societal effects that leads to so many people eating food to suppress feelings. Kim shares about a painful experience she had as a child and the effect that had on her and her relationship with food. Kim talks about the shift from shame and guilt to self compassion in relation to eating to suppress feelings. She also talks about a challenging experience she had with her daughter as a baby around breastfeeding, and yet, how her daughter now deeply trusts her body in relation with food. In addition, she highlights how much support mothers need in these challenging situations in relation to breastfeeding, and how much understanding about birth trauma and babies' crying can help in these situations. You can find out more about Kim and her work at: https://www.instagram.com/kimberley.cousins/ I invite you to sign up for early bird information and my next book about Aware Parenting and sleep here: http://eepurl.com/8ifhn You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

This is the last episode in the series related to my latest best-selling book, 'I'm Here and I'm Listening', before I return to finish the food series, so this episode is a kind of bridge back to that! Then I'll be starting the second sleep series! Today, I share a story from my book, again from a child's perspective. Before that, I talk about how in Aware Parenting, one of the core aims is to help our child/ren stay connected with, or return to, the innate wisdom of their body, including in relation to food. Doing our own inner work in relation to food, and getting clear about our own beliefs and choices, is so vital to this. There's a really in-depth chapter on all of this in 'I'm Here and I'm Listening'. You can buy 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' on Amazon by searching for 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' on the Amazon store in your country. Or send me a DM for the direct link! Big love xoxox You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I talk about why children aren't fighting sleep, and why we're often fighting their natural relaxation response. I share concisely about how we can trust children and follow their lead and can then cooperate with their natural relaxation response. I explain the power of play before bed, and why we can look at the "it'll all end in tears" phenomenon in a very different light. At the end, I share a story from a child's perspective that comes from my latest best-selling book, 'I'm Here and I'm Listening.' The book has a chapter on sleep. If you want to understand more about sleep and Aware Parenting, there is the first sleep series already recorded, and I will be starting a second series soon, to correspond with my next book, which is about sleep and Aware Parenting. You can find out more about my sleep and Aware Parenting course here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/sound-sleep-and-secure-attachment-with-aware-parenting-course/ You can buy 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' on Amazon by searching on the Amazon store in your country. Or send me a DM for the direct link! Big love xoxox You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I share about how we can stay connected with children in relation to screens, including with attachment play. I offer some information that I wish I'd had when my children were younger, about loving limits. I also share a touching story at the end from my new book, 'I'm Here and I'm Listening', from the perspective of a child. Putting ourselves in our child's shoes can really help transform our parenting experience with screens. I talk about one phrase that I found really helpful around screens. There's an in-depth chapter on screens in my latest best-selling book, 'I'm Here and I'm Listening.' You can buy the paperback or ebook on Amazon by searching for 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' on the Amazon store in your country! Or send me a DM for the direct link! Big love xoxox You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I share about what's going on when a child is hitting. I talk about them being in the fight or flight response, and how we can help them move out of that state of hyperarousal, through feeling physically and emotionally safe, to return to homeostasis through healing raging and crying (or laughing and playing) with our loving support. I mention ways we can prevent hitting from happening in the first place, what we can do if we don't get there in time to prevent it happening. I talk about the choice we have between loving limits and attachment play in response to hitting, and what exactly we might choose to say with loving limits. I finish with a story from my latest book, 'I'm Here and I'm Listening', which is through the eyes of a child who is hitting. You can buy the paperback or ebook on Amazon by searching for 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' on the Amazon store in your country! Or send me a DM for the direct link! You might also enjoy my Loving Limits Deep Dive! The link is here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/loving-limits-deep-dive/ Big love xoxox You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I talk about when children use have a soft toy, blanket or other object as a control pattern. This might be something they use to suppress their feelings when going to sleep or during the day when feelings bubble up. I explain about how they used to be known as 'transitional objects' in Winnicott's work, and how we see them differently in Aware Parenting. I also share my own experience of having a bunny as a control pattern for many years, and the touching experience I had in my early twenties. I offer ideas for how you can help your child if they have a control pattern like this. Then I read out the story from a child who has a bunny control pattern from my latest book, 'I'm Here and I'm Listening.' You can buy the paperback or ebook on Amazon by searching for 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' on the Amazon store in your country! Or send me a DM for the direct link! Big love xoxox You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD