#34 Seeing Candor Differently: Turning Toward People’s Bids for Connection

Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast! You can’t pour from an empty cup. This weekly show fills your cup with simple, practical strategies so you can live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify! As leaders, we often face unexpected and unpolished criticism and challenges. How do you respond to these small forms of feedback? What’s lying beneath the surface of that sly comment or unsolicited complaint? In this episode, we’ll dive into the concept of “bids” for connection―those small but meaningful moments when someone is trying to engage with you. We believe that understanding these bids can make all the difference in your relationships with your team (and at home!). Why is it so important that you key into these bids? Because how you respond will: Foster a culture where people feel safe to speak up, share thoughts, and challenge the status quo Build stronger, more genuine connections, creating trust that lasts Make you a better colleague, friend, spouse, and parent along the way Our goal is to shift your perspective on the bids that might otherwise cause you to put up walls or disengage. By decoding the deeper meaning behind these small interactions, over time, you will build a strong sense of trust, belonging, and safety, both at work and at home. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes.  #4 To Die at the Door #14 Ten Lessons in Developing Culture #22 How to Deal with Conflict Things Referenced in the Episode Introducing our Leadership University coming in early 2026! If you’re interested, you can learn more and sign up to be the first to know when it’s ready at our Leadership University page.  Research by Dr. John Gottman. Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time.  Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership today. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well! 

 Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast! You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, this weekly show fills your cup with simple, practical strategies so you can live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify! We talk a lot about feedback at 3x5 Leadership, but how can you be sure your feedback encourages development within your people, and translates into real progress for your team? How can we make the most of the feedback sessions we’re scheduling…or should they be feedback sessions at all? This episode is all about developmental experiences, which, over time and with deliberate action, become the day-to-day norm in a growth-minded organization. By separating the three elements of what we commonly call “feedback,” we can start building this culture for our team. We’ll help you see the differences between evaluation, coaching, and appreciation, and how those translate into the different types of developmental experiences you can create for your team. Then, we’ll show you how to start shaping those experiences by taking actions like: Determining whether you’re offering all three types of feedback Coming alongside your people as a coach Establishing the right balance based on the individual needs of your people Integrating feedback into your organization can be a daunting task. But we believe that by breaking it down into these three types and forming them into developmental experiences, feedback will become a core part of your culture, providing clarity and encouraging progress daily. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes.  #14 Ten Lessons in Developing Culture #25 What Happens When Leaders Act Like Coaches #31 Dispelling Six Myths About Feedback Things Referenced in the Episode Introducing our Leadership University, which is coming in early 2026! If you’re interested, you can learn more and sign up to be the first to know when it’s ready at our Leadership University page.  Book, An Everyone Culture, by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey Center for Creative Leadership’s Handbook of Leadership Development Book, Thanks for the Feedback, Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen Research by Dr. John Gottman Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time.  Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership today. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well!  

Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast! You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, this weekly show fills your cup with simple, practical strategies so you can live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify! Why is listening one of the simplest yet hardest skills for leaders to master? It turns out, it’s not just about hearing words; it’s about truly connecting. What if speaking less and listening more could transform not only your work but your personal relationships too? In this episode, we dive deep into why listening is a game-changer for leadership. You’ll learn how actively listening can build stronger relationships with your team and make you a more effective leader. First, we’ll discuss the vital importance of listening. Then, we’ll discuss some simple things you can do to show people you’re really listening to them, such as: Making eye contact and truly removing distractions Asking good questions and paraphrasing so they know you understood what was said Reading between the lines of their words–body language and tone Amongst all the things you have to offer your team–your ideas, feedback, coaching, and plans–we believe that listening is one of the most powerful tools you can give them. And we believe this episode will help you understand how to incorporate active listening into your leadership style–and into your life–creating stronger, more connected relationships. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes.  #4 To Die at the Door #13 You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup #30 From “I’m Not Important” to “I’m Contributing to Something Important” Things Referenced in the Episode Introducing our Leadership University coming in early 2026! If you’re interested, you can learn more and sign up to be the first to know when it’s ready at our Leadership University page.  Book, The Culture Code, by Daniel Coyle Book, Radical Candor, by Kim Scott Book, Herding Tigers, by Todd Henry Book, Leadership is Language, by L. David Marquet Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time.  Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well!  

Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast! You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, this weekly show fills your cup with simple, practical strategies so you can live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify! “Feedback” – we see and hear that word everywhere these days. But what actually constitutes feedback? And are you making the most of the feedback you give and receive? In this episode, we dispel six common myths about feedback, and how you can start getting more out of your conversations, your own productivity, and that of your team. We look at the who, what, where, when, and how of feedback, to include: Who owes you feedback? What does “good” feedback look like? (hint: all feedback is good) When is your job “done” when it comes to feedback? We’ll give you the answers to these questions and actions you can take to start taking immediately to improve the feedback you give and be more receptive to the feedback you receive. We believe that by improving the feedback loop within your life and team, you’ll see tremendous personal growth and better team performance. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes.  #11 Words Matter: 10 Ways to Be More Intentional with Your Words #22 How to Deal with Conflict #26 The 12 Things I Wish I Knew 12 Years Ago Things Referenced in the Episode Introducing our Leadership University coming in early 2026! If you’re interested, you can learn more and sign up to be the first to know when it’s ready at our Leadership University page.  Book, Insight, by Tasha Eurich.  Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time.  Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership today. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well!  

Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast! You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, this weekly show fills your cup with simple, practical strategies so you can live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify! Have you ever considered how the work of your team members affects their self-esteem and sense of value? If we help them through the progression from “I’m not important” to “I’m contributing to something important,” we can have a significant impact on how they feel about their work, and subsequently, their lives altogether. This episode helps you see how you can enable others to make the shift of those you lead from feeling unimportant to feeling like they play a critical role in something important. We break this progression down into simple steps with actions you can take now to lead this mindset shift, such as: Learn the story of your team members and show them that their story is important to you Show them where they fit into the bigger picture of your organization and mission Make sure everyone knows the organization’s purpose Model the energy and positive attitude you would want them all to feel Considering many of us spend the most energized parts of our days at work, it is important to build a culture that gives people meaning, motivation, and even happiness. We hope this episode helps you see how you can get every person you lead to realize their importance to the greater good of your team, organization, and the world. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes.  #7 Tapping into the Power of Intrinsic Motivation (Part 1 of the Motivation Series) #14 Ten Lessons in Developing Culture #20 How to Get People to Care References We Discuss Book, Think Again, by Adam Grant Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time.  Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership today. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well! 

Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast! You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, this weekly show fills your cup with simple, practical strategies so you can live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify! You gathered your team for a long-awaited skill-building session, backed by your past success stories. But the results fell flat, leaving everyone frustrated and feeling like it was a waste of time. What went wrong? In this episode, we explore a better approach to leader development starting with the “what” and the “why” of this incredibly important aspect of your leadership and their growth. Before you run off to plan your next team off-site or training session, consider these critical aspects of defining “what” and “why” first: Did you identify the skill, behavior, mindset, or capability you want to focus on? Can you clearly show the correlation to your team’s needs? Have you defined the purpose clearly for your team, so they know why this matters? Leadership development opportunities are all too rare, so it’s exciting when we get to create and lead one for our team. This episode will help you maximize those moments, making a lasting impact on both you and your people. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes.  #5 Four Strategies to Schedule Your Self-Development Better #9 Two Tools to Improve Team Motivation (Part 3 of the Motivation Series) #12 Developing Junior Leaders References We Discuss Book, Atomic Habits, by James Clear Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time.  Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership today. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well!  

  Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast! You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, this weekly show fills your cup with simple, practical strategies so you can live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify! Leading often overwhelms us with competing responsibilities. What if the things that matter most could be distilled into mastering just two enduring responsibilities? In this episode, we define and discuss those two things, which are: (1) doing routine things routinely and (2) continuously improving the organization. To know whether you’re already doing these things effectively, or how to return to these core responsibilities, we explore things like: Establishing your team’s routines regarding time, tasks, and meetings How to approach changes, big and small Prioritizing the things that are needed most to establish and keep a strong foundation We hope this episode brings perspective to the endless challenges and opportunities you face on a daily basis. By organizing your responsibilities into two core functions, we believe you’ll see more small wins and start reaching your big goals sooner and more effectively. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes.  #17 Stop Having Terrible Meetings #23 Incremental vs. Transformational Growth (Hint: We Need Both) #24 Six Common Failures We Make When Leading Change Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time.  Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership today. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well! 

Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast where we champion intentional leaders who create significant impacts. This show offers simple, practical strategies to help you live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify!  Every great team has something unique they “always do,” things that become traditions and, eventually, rituals. In this episode we explore the power of rituals and a few simple ways we can establish meaningful ones with our teams. Why establish rituals? Because rituals: Signal value to the team Create safety and belonging Cultivate connection Build engagement Establish continuity, predictability, and resilience You may recall rituals your family or friends had as a child, even if you didn’t call them “rituals.” In the same way that you remember those, your team will remember the rituals you establish with them now. We hope this episode will inspire you to explore something new that purposefully promotes connection and adds meaning to their weeks, months, and years. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes.  #2 The Power of Identity-Based Goals (vs. Outcome-Based Ones) #14 Ten Lessons in Developing Culture #16 How to Lead with Gratitude This Year Resources We Discuss in the Episode Radical Candor, by Kim Scott Competing in the New World of Work, by Keith Ferrazzi The Effective Manager, by Mark Horstman Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time.  Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership today. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well. 

  Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast where we champion intentional leaders who create significant impacts. This show offers simple, practical strategies to help you live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple and Spotify! Entering leadership roles early in one’s career can be full of uncertainty. In this episode, we walk through 12 hard-earned lessons that I wish I’d known when I first became a leader. Things like: Why there is no “right way,” only your way. How doing what your boss wants first actually creates freedom later. The importance of reflection. Why you’ve never “arrived,” because leadership is always a journey. These are not academic theories, they are real, lived experiences distilled into actionable perspective. Whether you’re a new leader, aspiring to lead, or mentoring others, We hope you’ll find at least one lesson that shifts your view or strengthens your resolve as a leader. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes. #13 You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup. #12 Developing Junior Leaders. #5 Four Strategies to Schedule Your Self-Development Better. Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time. Join Our Email List. When you do, you’ll get free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to help fill your cup as a leader. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well.  

Welcome to the 3x5 Leadership Podcast where we champion intentional leaders who create significant impacts. This show offers simple, practical strategies to help you live, lead, and learn more intentionally. You can listen to the episode on Apple, Google, or Spotify! What happens when leaders act less authoritarian and more coach-like? What does it look like for a leader to act like a coach? And why does it matter? Let’s address all these questions in this week’s episode. Coaching is an incredibly powerful developmental tool, and just one of our many available tools in our toolbox as a leader. But it is also one of the most nuanced and hardest leadership approaches to put into action. So, join us for this episode to explore what coaching leadership is, why it matters, and specific strategies we can put into action today to get started. We also share two example conversations between a boss and employee with the boss taking a coaching-style approach to help us better understand what it looks, sounds, and feels like. So, check out this episode to learn how to be more coach-like in how we lead. We know it will equip you to lead and develop others more intentionally. Related Episodes Interested in learning more? Check out these related 3x5 Leadership podcast episodes. #22 How to Deal with Conflict. #11 Words Matter: 10 Ways to Be More Intentional with Your Words. #8 Giving Autonomy (Part 2 of the Motivation Series). Things We Reference in the Episode Our article on Developmental Communication. Interested in reading more about coaching-style leadership? We encourage you to check out these two books by Michael Bungay Stanier: The Coaching Habit and The Advice Trap. Discover More Like and Review the Show! If you found this episode valuable, we invite you to give the show a like and review. It builds our credibility, helping others discover the show and know it’s worth their time. Subscribe to 3x5 Leadership. When you do, you’ll get our free, weekly insights sent straight to your inbox to make your inbox a bit more intentional with leader development resources. Subscribe and learn more at 3x5 Leadership. You will also get an immediate copy of our free guide, The 10 Habits of Intentional Leaders. Become a Patron. Consider joining our Patreon Community to get even more insight from the 3x5 Leadership team like weekly leadership tips that you can put into action immediately. Learn more about the Community and join at our Patreon page. Until next episode, friends, take care and lead well.