That Patrick Bamford Episode

Making a return to the Samrat, Peter, Chris and Tom host the inaugural Shysters celebrating the best acts of ‘housery’ nominated by the listeners. There’s a very special guest to kick things off, Clive Tyldesley is your MC for the evening and Chris has pulled out all the stops when it comes to the entertainment. There’s ten awards, some chat from the toilet and the Laouts are flowing on what is a fitting end to the series.

Peter, Chris and Tom lay out their plans for the SHYSTERS awards ceremony and go through the best listener messages for the final time this series.Ryan Shawcross, anti-doping officials and David Blaine all feature and there’s an update on something that had gone quiet, until now.

West Ham legend Mark Noble joins Peter, Chris and Tom to discuss Eggy Boff, playing under David Moyes and the Premier League Captains’ WhatsApp group. The boys discuss West Ham’s ‘Parched’ and there’s an important statement regarding the end of series awards.

Peter, Chris and Tom get together to plan the inaugural SHAFTAs which will take them back to the Samrat and aims to celebrate ingenious acts of skulduggery in all walks of life. They name their categories, go through a few more nominations and lay out plans for the entertainment and ceremony itself.

Leeds' Patrick Bamford joins the pod as the first guest since Crouchy and the boys visited Kensington Palace. Chris and Tom try to work out how they’d cope working with Marcelo Bielsa and Patrick helps the boys to launch the big series finale.

After reaching uncharted territory this series it’s time to reset. Crouchy and the boys want to devote this episode to best contributions from the listeners. You’ll learn about footballers’ favourite game that nobody knew about, how Fridays become sacred for players and a strange 30 seconds in Pete’s living room.

Crouchy shines a light on the more unfashionable roles at a Premier League football club including the press officer, the physio and the assistant manager. Chris makes a huge pledge to Peter, and Tom suggests an old Stoke team-mate to take up a role that nobody knew needed filling until this podcast was recorded.

Crouchy tells us what really happens when an entire football team pitches up at a hotel. From issues with wi-fi, strict managers banning things from the kitchen and players who crash weddings, here’s your guide to staying in hotels as if you’re a professional footballer. Chris and Tom discuss more Dragons Den ideas and Peter thinks we’ve found ‘the one’.

Deemed by some as an ‘ugly’ way to score a goal, it’s our job to highlight the beauty of a set-piece. Crouchy describes how much work goes into them, the different roles everyone plays and how best to exploit them. Chris updates us on more Dragons debating the best player in the world and Tom has a plan for the ‘Crouch Olympics’

This is the episode where Crouchy hopes to persuade Tom, Chris and everyone listening that playing up front is the most difficult position to play.The long-awaited billboard is finally in position - though not without a few issues - plus the boys analyse more potential money-spinning ideas from listeners.