129: Work: What we parents can do to help our kids end up with a meaningful role in society.

Send us a textAnother day another newspaper headline that says young people aren't working.According to the Financial Times newspaper, 13.4 per cent of people in the United Kingdon in the 16 to 24 age group were not in employment education or training - “NEET” - at the end of last year.The ONS figures showed a higher rate of young men outside work or training, with 14.4 per cent of 16- to 24-year-olds classed as NEET compared with 12.3 per cent of young women. and mental health issues seem to be a rising factor. This podcast is all about helping parents see a way through the maze of problems, rather than dwelling in it, so in this episode I decided to put the figures in context and look at what we parents can do to ensure our kids a way to play a meaningful role in society.PWC Report:https://www.pwc.co.uk/economic-services/assets/youth-employment-index-2024.pdfThe World Economic Forum - Future of Jobs Report 2025What employers consider to be core skills for the workforce:1: Analytical thinking2: Resilience, flexibility and agility3: Leadership and social influence4: Creative thinking5: Motivation and self-awareness6: Technological literacy7: Empathy8: Active listeningSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textParenting is a hard enough, but doing it in a culture that is different from the one we grew up in creates an extra layer of challenges to navigate. When it's our kids who have the greatest connection to that new culture it can be their demands that make us grow the most in our role.It might seem strange, because I'm a white woman who always spoke English and had English parents, but arriving in the UK from the African continent aged 10 was a total shock to my system. There were very specific cultural cues that I had to deliberately learn, but obviously the differences were eased by the fact that my parents came from this culture. So when I met the podcaster, Amma, I was fascinated by how she and her family have had to navigate living in a country where the language and societal beliefs are so different both inside and outside the family unit, and how Amma was the person who ended up having to coax and cajole her parents to grow into their adopted country.  We parents can learn so much from her story about what is at the heart of good parenting, and having a relationship that will last into adulthood.AMMA BROWN GIRL:https://shows.acast.com/amma-brown-girl-1https://www.instagram.com/ammabrowngirl/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textMost teens go through a phase of being hyper-focused on looking good; whether it's clothes, bodybuilding, skin-care or makeup. What can seem like an obsession could be a normal part of the process, so when should we start to worry and how should we step up? When Clare wrote in worried about her daughter's skin-care regime she was hoping to get a teen perspective. Here's what she said.I would like you to advise on though and maybe your daughters can help?  My 13 year old has been heavily influenced in the last year or two by social media posts on skin care. She has now changed from being content with a simple cleanse and moisturise before bed to having a morning and evening skincare ritual lasting more than an hour.  She is getting up at 5.30 every morning to start the ritual!  The most concerning thing is the use of products and preparations that I would normally associate with more mature ladies ( things I would use!) and these often include hyaluronic acid,  retinol, collagen etc.  she spends all her pocket money, birthday and Xmas money on these products and is constantly asking for extra jobs to earn more money to support to this expensive obsession. I am hoping it’s just a short lived phase and thinking that I should treat it a bit like ‘bad fashion’ and keep cool and non judgemental about it, rather than expressing my concerns, which would probably make things worse!  Do you have any advice? In this episode I talk at length with my girls about the trend, how her daughter might be feeling, and what Clare can do to support her without shutting down communication and connection. PRODUCT MENTIONED (NO AFFILIATE OR SPONSORSHIP INVOLVED) Garnier Vitamin C Daily UV Brightening Fluid Sheer Glow, SPF50+,  For all skin types, Cruelty-Free, Vegan, 50mlSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textBefore I had kids I literally had no real idea of what I should expect. I think that's partly why I have spent the years as a mother panicking and reading everything; having learnt that I was wrong about how complicated the job is. Susie and I are in a similar stage with our kids but feel differently about it, so I thought it would be lovely to bring her in to have an open, honest conversation about how the stages unfold and what it really feels like for us. What do you think? Send me a message on [email protected] Galinsky's six stages of parenting:Nurturer - Birth to one yearYour baby learns that they are safe and the more they find their needs met the more confident they'll become as a youth. Boundaries - Ages one to fiveChildren start to test boundaries. They need to be clear and consistent. When you set a boundary it needs to be the same every time, and the consequences need to be applied consistently. Training the Heart -Ages six to twelveYou begin answering questions about boundaries and consequences, and putting them in context with the way society works. It's important to listen to your child, and respect their opinions.Coaching - Ages thirteen to eighteenGive advice but allow the child to make the ultimate decision. We also have to allow our children to suffer the consequences of bad decisions. Nagging, or constant correction, will just cause our kids to tune our voice out. Mentoring - Ages eighteen to job or marriageRefrain from telling them what they should do and from judging the decisions they make. Understand - and treat them - as if that they are capable of solving their own problems. Our job is to offer advice when asked and not to judge. Be curious. Friendship - Job or marriage and beyondNow our kids are established as adults it's time to tone down the parenting and allow them to be our equal. The one key thing to remember is that they will always  crave our unconditional love and acceptance, regardless of how old they become. Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textSponsored by JENZAPositively life changing is how I would sum up the time I spent working abroad during my gap year. I met people with a completely different world view, different language, and learnt to navigate many challenges alone. It gave me a positive, can-do attitude to life.Now my teens are 16 and 18, I want to make sure they have the confidence to meet whatever life throws at them head-on. Given my own experience, I'm convinced that a working holiday is an ideal way of giving them the skills they need with an added boost to their 'explorer' mindset.  I’ve already made an episode talking in general about gap years, but I'm still getting a lot of enquiries about specific opportunities, so when JENZA - the earn as you explore youth travel group - offered to sponsor an episode it was an obvious way to get lots of useful tips for us parents.In this discussion with JENZA’s head of Global Operations, Adam Janaway, he shares:The benefits of working abroad, emphasizing skills like responsibility, adaptability, and problem-solving. The career advantages of cultural exposure and work experience in foreign settings. Three types of work abroad experiences: short-term structured programs, longer-term flexible working holidays, and professional internships. His own experiences, including working at a US summer camp and in Canada, and stresses the importance of asking for help and building emotional intelligence. Advice for us parents to encourage independence and planning for our children's working holidays.JENZA: www.jenza.comGAP YEAR EPISODE: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/gap-years-what-is-a-gap-year-and-should-our-teens-take-one/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textIt's one thing to get advice on how to parent, it's another to have independent studies that give real evidence on how well one approach works rather than another. Faced with raising two young kids in a COVID lockdown, social scientist and skilled researcher Matilda Gosling looked for a book that gave her advice that was based on sound evidence. She discovered that such a book didn't exist, so set out to write it.Described by investigative journalist Hannah Barnes as 'A rare entity: a parenting book that is accessible, well evidenced, practical, gritty and not hectoring. In short, one that is genuinely helpful.' I knew we all needed to hear about what Matilda had found. THE BOOKTeenagers: The Evidence Base, weaves together insights from fields including social and experimental psychology, neuroscience, family systems and adolescent development. CONTACTING MATILDA:https://www.matildagosling.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/matilda-gosling-11a95521/?originalSubdomain=ukhttps://matildagosling.substack.com/In the interview we cover:Navigating the ups and downs of the teenage years - The book discusses how the teenage years are not just constant "storms and stress" but have complex weather patterns with both positive and negative aspects.Supporting teenagers' identity exploration - The book advises letting teenagers experiment with different identities and not labeling them, to allow them room to continue developing.Facilitating healthy friendships and relationships - The discussion covers how parents can support their teenager's friendships, even if they don't approve of all their friends, and have conversations about healthy romantic relationships.Talking to teens about sex and sexuality - The book emphasizes the importance of parents proactively discussing sex, sexuality, and porn with teenagers, rather than leaving it to schools or the media.Maintaining self-care as a parent - The book stresses that parents taking care of their own needs and well-being is crucial for supporting their teenager's well-being.Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textStress can be a major problem for parents who're constantly juggling tasks and responsibilities. The mental load can feel overwhelming at times and the list literally never ending. So when I discovered Sam Kelly has a brilliant way to: ✅Avoid burnout.✅Have a happier home life.✅Help our kids to be successful in life.✅Avoid nagging.✅Break the old stereotypes cycle.I had to get her on the show. A mother and feminist coach, Sam is teaching parents how to share the mental load with the whole family and increase our kid's chances of having a happy life at the same time.She summed up what I've been struggling with my entire adult life: the fact that if we don't learn household skills at home it's way harder to develop them as adults when we have busy lives, careers, and our own family.Some of Sam's key suggestions are:Teach kids the "big three" daily tasks to build cleaning skills.Guide kids on how to "notice" what needs to be done around the house.Have "cycle breaking conversations" with kids about gender equity and mental load.Try the "notice and grab" approach when grocery shopping with kids.You can find Sam on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/samkelly_world/And her own website at:https://hellosamkelly.com/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textWe parents are deluding ourselves about how much our kids enjoy school, according to research for the book The Disengaged Teen. In survey responses 65% of parents thought their 10th grade kid loved school, whilst only 26% of 10th graders actually said they did. A lot of educators admit that things go wrong in the teen years, and many fine minds are trying to work on ways to tackle the problem. In the meantime huge numbers of teens spend most of their time disengaged. Some take a lacklustre approach, doing the bare minimum, some work hard but never really think about the path they're on, others simply check out by disrupting the class or refusing to turn up. The result is a high boredom high stress environment, but in this amazing book Dr Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson explain that we parents have a immense power to influence our kids' engagement. Drawing on sciencific studies, and research with thousands of parents and educators, they have come up with an easy to understand framwork and language for us to use with our own kids both in and beyond the classroom. LEARNING MODES: Resister. When kids resist, they struggle silently with profound feelings of inadequacy or invisibility, which they communicate by ignoring homework, playing sick, skipping class, or acting out.Passenger. When kids coast along, consistently doing the bare minimum and complaining that classes are pointless. They need help connecting school to their skills, interests, or learning needs.Achiever. When kids show up, do the work, and get consistently high grades, their self-worth can become tied to high performance. Their disengagement is invisible, fueling a fear of failure and putting them at risk for mental health challenges.Explorer. When kids are driven by internal curiosity rather than just external expectations, they investigate the questions they care about and persist to achieve their goals.THE BOOK:The Disengaged Teen by Dr Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny AndersonDr Rebecca Winthrophttps://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-winthrop-b36b0617/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textThere are siblings who love spending time with each other as often as possible, some tolerate it once or twice a year, and there are others who would rather eat glass than have to speak to each other.Why? What happens to their relationship? Is there something we parents can be doing to set our kids to be the ones who love and support each other as we age and after we die.When one listener asked for a deep dive on siblings who don’t talk to each other later in life it came at the same time as another, Helen, who said she'd noticed lots of her female friends are struggling in their relationships with their sisters. In this episode I talk with Susie about the factors in our own family setups that affect sibling relationships long term and whether there's a secret to making sure your kids don’t hate each other some day. We also try to help Helen with some ideas about how she can ameliorate her own situation with her sister. BOOK:Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlishhttps://www.researchgate.net/publication/343433834_Sibling_Relationships_in_Adulthood_Research_Findings_and_New_Frontiershttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7399693/Findingshttps://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-04983-006Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Send us a textMAKING RESOLUTIONS: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/70-new-years-resolutions-love-them-or-loathe-them-the-question-is-how-can-we-make-them-work-for-u/ https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/Be-the-person-you-want-to-be-not-the-person-others-think-you-should-be/PARENTING STRESS: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/109-parenting-stress-is-now-a-major-health-issueTOO MANY CHOICES: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/concentration-and-the-troubling-effect-of-too-many-choices/NAGGING: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/nagging-reducing-the-friction-using-the-magic-of-routine/10-25: The Science of Motivating Young People by David Yeager https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids by Elaine Taylor-Klaushttps://www.teenagersuntangled.com/108-how-to-support-struggling-complex-kids/Sexism and Sensibility  by Jo Ann Finkelstein https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/116-girls-beauty-standards-entitlement-and-misogyny/When Girls Fall Out by Andrew Hampton https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/114-friendships-frenemies-and-boy-banter-parenting-our-teens-through-the-relationship-pitfalls/Hold on to Your Kids by Dr Gordon Neufeld and Gabor MateAnxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Failing our Future by Joshua Eyler https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/104-how-grades-harm-students-and-what-we-parents-can-do-about-it/Exam Nation by Sammy Wright https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/102-why-our-obsession-with-grades-fails-everyone-an-interview-with-exam-nation-author-sammy-wright/Of Boys and Men by Richard V ReevesBoys Adrift by Leonard Sax.MOST DOWNLOADED EPISODES OF 2024:80: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/79-taking-things-personally-coping-with-adversity-teen-love-and-changing-our-minds-when-we-get-ne/110: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/77: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/standards-setting-high-expectations-without-the-pressure/88: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/nagging-reducing-the-friction-using-the-magic-of-routine/93: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/screen-time-for-tweens-and-teens-the-latest-on-what-works-and-what-doesnt/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk