246. why external validation keeps you stuck! (feat. dr. scott barry kaufman)

#247🍿 watch on ⁠spotify⁠ & ⁠youtube⁠💌 ⁠ask me a question⁠ or leave feedback on the podcast!if you’ve ever wondered if you need therapy, or are just “being dramatic”, this episode is for YOU! in this solo episode, i’m unpacking the two key signs that you should get help for your mental health. by the end of this episode, you’ll know how to spot the red flags that your mental health could use some professional care, and why acting sooner rather than later can change your life. i talk about:• what i’ve learned from researching people with depression• two ways to figure out if you need help for your mental health • if your emotions are “normal” or leading you to burnout• deciding what you can handle on your own with your mental health• the most obvious sign your mental health is struggling • how my journey with suicidal depression changed my opinion on asking for help• my advice for if you’re currently struggling in silence  • three questions to ask yourself if you’re wondering whether to get helpfree mental health resources:• crisis text line• 988 lifeline☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok tags!⁠@shepersistedpodcast⁠⁠shepersistedpodcast.com⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ © 2026 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

#246🍿 watch on spotify & youtube💌 ask me a question or leave feedback on the podcast!‘self-actualization’ isn’t just a tiktok buzzword– it’s how you can unlock your true potential using psychology. today’s guest is dr. scott barry kaufman— a psychologist, coach, professor, keynote speaker, and best-selling author who is passionate about helping all kinds of minds live a creative, fulfilling, and self-actualized life. he is a professor of psychology at columbia university and host of the psychology podcast, which has received over 30 million downloads worldwide. in this episode, we translate terms like self-actualization, agency, and mastery into actionable tools you can actually use. whether you’re a college student trying to raise your gpa or a postgrad working your way out of an existential crisis (real), this episode is your instruction manual for living your best life starting NOW!we talk about:• the self-growth metaphor you need to hear • why we delay our happiness + how to break this habit• self-actualization + what everyone gets wrong about it• if gen z has a victim mentality • the importance of gaining mastery • setting achievable goals that don’t cause burnout• comparison culture + how to step out of it• unlocking your potential as a student + learning to enjoy school • + so much more!!mentioned:• dr. kaufman’s instagram• dr. kaufman’s website• dr. kaufman’s newest book• the psychology podcast• center for human potential☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok [email protected]@shepersistedpodcast.com © 2026 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

#245🍿 watch on ⁠spotify⁠ & ⁠youtube⁠💌 ⁠ask me a question⁠ or leave feedback on the podcast!if you’re struggling with finding new friends as a postgrad, this episode is for YOU. in this solo episode, i’m sharing my favorite ways to make friends, stay connected, and avoid feeling lonely after graduating college! from making time to be social despite your new 9-to-5 to keeping in touch with long-distance friends, this episode covers every friendship topic for your post-college era. i talk about:• the mindset shift i made to avoid feeling lonely as a postgrad • how college social dynamics are so different from postgrad ones • catering your professional life to your social needs • finding motivation to be social even when you’re super busy • what everyone needs to know about loneliness • common habits we often overlook that are making you lonely  • why so many postgrads are more likely to feel lonely• my life hacks for preventing loneliness in the first place as a postgrad• creative ways to keep in touch with long distance friends + family• and so much more!mentioned:• last week's ep• grit lab recap• angela duckworth ep• marisa franco ep☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok tags!⁠@shepersistedpodcast⁠⁠shepersistedpodcast.com⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ © 2025 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

#244🍿 watch on ⁠spotify⁠ & ⁠youtube⁠💌 ⁠ask me a question⁠ or leave feedback on the podcast!this year, we’re NOT setting any more new year’s resolutions we can’t follow through on. in this solo episode, i’m breaking down how you can achieve all your personal, career, and wellness goals in 2026– and no, we’re not just manifesting, we’re using science. tune into this episode to find out the consistent, invisible habits you can use for reaching all your goals this year (without sacrificing on any much-needed self-care).i talk about:• the best way to set yourself up for success when setting new goals/habits• game-changing habits i tried out in college + my post-grad job this year• a mentality shift you can try to improve your quality of sleep • examples of how you can follow through with healthy habits in the new year• why you should be making your relationships a priority in 2026 • life hacks for finding time for friendships even when you’re busiest• how my habits helped me pick my post-grad job?! • and SO much more!mentioned:• grit lab recap • angela duckworth ep• psych major ep pt. 1• psych major ep pt. 2• previous new year’s ep☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok tags!⁠@shepersistedpodcast⁠⁠shepersistedpodcast.com⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ © 2025 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

#243 🍿 watch on spotify & youtube💌 ask me a question or leave feedback on the podcast!is it possible to be lonely even if you’re more social than ever?! today’s guest is dr. jeffrey hall— the department chair and professor of communication studies at the university of kansas, where he researches how to elevate positive online experiences through meaningful social interaction and relationships. his book relating through technology was featured in the wall street journal, the new york times, the washington post, and cnn.in this episode, we discuss why our generation can feel so lonely– especially after graduating college– and how we can actually start to improve our connections. by the end of this episode, you’ll know how to use psychology to be more connected than ever, even through the chaos of your 20s.  we talk about:• if gen z really is the loneliest generation • why your 20s can feel so lonely (even if you have lots of friends!)• how social media makes us feel more (and less!) connected to our friends• maintaining long distance relationships + friendships in your 20s• social media algorithms + how they affect our relationships • using social media to make your relationships better• negative stereotypes about gen z in friendships + relationships • the truth behind the male loneliness epidemic • what to do if your friend never initiates plans• advice for post-grads looking to make more friends• + so much more!mentioned:• dr. hall’s previous episode• dr. hall’s instagram• gen z loneliness study• behind their screens• dr. weinstein + i on nbc news• dr. weinstein’s episode• the social biome☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok [email protected]@shepersistedpodcast.com © 2020 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

#242🍿 watch on ⁠spotify⁠ & ⁠youtube⁠💌 ⁠ask me a question⁠ or leave feedback on the podcast!want to know why i started this podcast in the first place?! there’s a reason why i care so deeply about mental health, and why i believe so strongly that mental health recovery is possible.in this solo episode, i’m sharing my mental health journey with you, taking you through my recovery from severe depression and anxiety right from the start. i cover the highs and lows of my story, including how i went from being hospitalized for my mental health four times in one year to graduating as a psychology major and creating a new york times-recommended mental health podcast to help others who are struggling. my goal in sharing this is to let you know that if you’re struggling, you’re not alone. this episode is your personal reminder that if i can recover, then so can you.i talk about:• risk factors that led to me becoming severely depressed • how i realized i was depressed (key warning signs)• ways that my depression affected my quality of life • being hospitalized for my mental health + how that impacted me• aspects of depression we don’t talk about enough (burnout, validation, + more) • the biggest turning point in my mental health journey• a mental health belief that transformed my recovery for the better • going to a troubled teen industry program + that program’s effects on me• what inspired me to start this podcast!• mental health rules that i continue to live by todaymentioned:• ⁠mclean 3east• dbt wise mind skill• my troubled teen industry experience • dr. blaise aguirre episode☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok tags!⁠@shepersistedpodcast⁠⁠shepersistedpodcast.com⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ © 2025 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

#241🍿 watch on spotify & youtube💌 ask me a question or leave feedback on the podcast!here’s the truth: you cannot resent someone for a need you’ve never communicated. but most of our day-to-day frustration comes from exactly that — unspoken expectations, misunderstood triggers, and assumptions we never check.in this solo episode, i walk you through the exact rule, mindset shifts, and dbt skills i use to prevent resentment from silently wrecking relationships — with friends, partners, siblings, coworkers, anyone.by the end, you’ll know how to say what you need clearly, kindly, and confidently… without guilt, without drama, and without letting resentment build in the background.i talk about:• the “resentment rule” that completely shifts your relationships• why gen z is great at identifying triggers but avoids voicing needs• how resentment grows from assumptions — and how to stop it• how to actually use dbt’s dearman to make a clear request• why your ask must always have a yes/no answer• how to identify the real issue underneath irritation or hurt• the dbt check the facts skill and why it prevents so much unnecessary conflict• how to talk about needs without being passive-aggressive or avoidant• the fast skill for communicating boundaries without losing self-respect• how to stop people-pleasing while still protecting the relationship• exactly how to phrase a specific, doable change someone can make• when naming a trigger “tames it”… and when you actually need something to changementioned:• dbt interpersonal effectiveness worksheets☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok [email protected]@shepersistedpodcast.com © 2025 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

#240🍿 watch on spotify & youtube💌 ask me a question or leave feedback on the podcast!what’s really stopping you from finding love??! today’s guest is dr. molly burrets— a clinical psychologist and adjunct professor in the department of marriage and family Therapy at the university of southern california. her areas of expertise include couples therapy and women’s issues. in this episode, we discuss the unhealthy patterns that are holding you back from finding your soulmate and what you need to know to have a healthy, life-long relationship. we talk about:• how your life love can reflect the family dynamics you had growing up• self-biases and how those can impact your relationships • finding a life partner + common mistakes people make along the way• why people stay in unhealthy relationships (even when they know it’s unhealthy!) • figuring out what you’re looking for in a partner (do opposites really attract?!)• narcissism, gaslighting, and ‘therapy speak’ in romantic relationships • ‘pick me energy’ + how it can affect relationships long-term• stigma around being single as a woman in your late 20s and 30s • the ‘let them’ theory + if that actually works in relationships  • pros and cons to the ‘dating to marry’ approach • gen z’s dating patterns + if gen z is dating less than other generations • a piece of dating advice everyone in gen z should knowmentioned:• dr. burrets’ instagram• dr. burrets’ website• the let them theory☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok [email protected]@shepersistedpodcast.com © 2020 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

welcome to the mental health minis series! every other monday, we will feature a five-minute mini-episode with content from a past she persisted episode. this week’s guest is dr. angela duckworth– the rosa lee and egbert chang professor at the university of pennsylvania and faculty co-director of the penn-wharton behavior change for good initiative.in this mini-episode, we discuss how you can reverse engineer your life to set yourself up for success!to listen to the full episode, click ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠!⁠@shepersistedpodcast⁠⁠shepersistedpodcast.com⁠⁠[email protected]⁠ © 2020 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.

#239🍿 watch on spotify & youtube💌 ask me a question or leave feedback on the podcast!what sets dbt apart + is it actually effective?! today’s guest is dr. maddy ellberger— the founder of downtown behavioral wellness, a therapeutic practice that utilizes cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt), dialectical behavior therapy (dbt), and mindfulness-based stress reduction (mbsr). dr. ellberger previously appeared on she persisted to discuss using dbt to improve therapeutic outcomes. in this episode, we discuss what sets dbt apart from other therapies! we also answer your most-asked questions related to all things dbt!we talk about:• why dbt therapists are so different from other types of therapists• disagreeing or breaking up with your dbt therapist • how dbt got known for its distress tolerance skills + why that’s problematic• radical acceptance + what that actually looks like in dbt• willfulness + signs that you’re being willful in your life • what to do if your loved one needs therapy but won’t go• parents who don’t understand their child’s mental health struggles • how to make better friends + have closer relationships using dbt• + so much more!mentioned:• maddy’s instagram• maddy’s tiktok• downtown behavioral wellness• maddy’s previous she persisted ep• my therapist’s book• marsha linehan’s dbt textbook☕giveaway! want coffee on me? every month, i gift one listener a starbucks gift card to enter:1. leave a review on apple or spotify2. dm me a screenshot on instagram📲 bonus entries for story or tiktok [email protected]@shepersistedpodcast.com © 2025 SHE PERSISTED LLC. all rights reserved.