Modern Masculinity: Men’s Mental Health, Nice Guy Syndrome & Behind Closed Doors with Kelvin Davis

Delanie Fischer continues the “Subscriber Stories” series with subscriber Milo Jones, who shares her 10+ year experience managing the body-focused repetitive behavior, trichotillomania (hair pulling). They discuss how it began, misconceptions surrounding it, and the tools, coping strategies, and habit swaps that have supported her. BFRBs affect 1 in 20 people and include core disorders such as hair pulling and skin picking (excoriation disorder), as well as related compulsive body-focused behaviors such as nail biting (onychophagia), cheek chewing, teeth grinding, knuckle cracking, finger or foot tapping, nose picking, and mucus fishing syndrome, among others. Whether you personally experience BFRBs or love someone who does, this conversation is relatable, validating, and full of practical insights. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code HELPLESS at https://www.oneskin.co/HELPLESS Submit here to be considered for the "Subscriber Stories" series: https://www.delaniefischer.com/submissions Episode Highlights:  What to Do When There’s No Clear Treatment Plan CBT, SSRIs, Mindfulness, and Habit Reversal Training (HRT) Anxiety or Sensation: Which Comes First? How “Worst Case” Thinking Can Relieve Pressure 15 Tools, Tips & Swaps for Managing Symptoms When Others Start to Notice Your Behavior & Side Effects How Menstrual (and Energy) Cycles Can Affect Symptoms Watching TV, Sitting in Traffic, Overwhelm, and Other Triggers Try a Simple Self-Care & Reconnection Ritual Today More about Milo Jones: ⁠https://savehairfreespirit.com/ ____ A quick 5-star rating means a lot! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: Cracking The Code To Behavior Change: Troubleshooting Tiny Barriers That Destroy Big Goals with Molly Maxwell: ⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24e651e8/cracking-the-code-to-behavior-change-troubleshooting-tiny-barriers-that-destroy-big-goals-with-molly-maxwell It’s Not Just Anxiety, Stress, or Nerves: 7 Neurohacks for Managing Fear with Biopsychologist Dr. Mary Poffenroth: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/1c54022e/its-not-just-anxiety-stress-or-nerves-7-neurohacks-for-managing-fear-with-biopsychologist-dr-mary-poffenroth 10 Fascinating Tricks For More Wins And Improved Well-Being with Janice Kaplan: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23c60009/10-fascinating-tricks-for-more-wins-and-improved-well-being-with-janice-kaplan Is it Anxiety or Generalized Anxiety Disorder? with Dr. Luana Marquez: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/1c7d47b0/is-it-anxiety-or-generalized-anxiety-disorder-with-dr-luana-marquez Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with author, men’s body positivity advocate, and founder of Notoriously Dapper, Kelvin Davis, about the struggles facing modern men. They explore social conditioning, mental health challenges, and deep-rooted insecurities, as well as guidance for moving beyond the “nice guy” act and cultivating emotional maturity, authentic confidence, and healthy masculinity. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code HELPLESS at https://www.oneskin.co/HELPLESS Episode Highlights:  Cut The Crap: Nice Guy vs. Good Man How Men Feel About Not Being "Needed" for Survival Porn, the Rise of OnlyFans, and Fake Intimacy Cultural Differences: Vulnerability and Mental Health Support Let's Talk About It: Incels, the Manosphere, and Violence Why Women Feel "Done" with Dating Apps (and Dating in General) Love Is Blind: Toxic Masculinity on Display—and What Lies Underneath Why Men Might Dominate Conversation in Social Settings Transforming Entitlement and Fear into Genuine Connection More about Kelvin Davis: ⁠https://notoriouslydapper.com/⁠ This episode contains sensitive topics, listener discretion is advised. IF YOU NEED TO TALK, CRISIS LIFELINE: https://988lifeline.org/ ____ A quick 5-star rating means a lot! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: It’s Not a Mental Health Crisis: Human Reactions to a Loneliness Epidemic with Dr. Jody Carrington: ⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2d626d7b/its-not-a-mental-health-crisis-human-reactions-to-a-loneliness-epidemic-with-dr-jody-carrington⁠ Oversharing vs. Undersharing: How Revealing Too Much (or Too Little) Shapes Health, Relationships & Career with Leslie John: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2b851839/oversharing-vs-undersharing-how-revealing-too-much-or-too-little-shapes-health-relationships-and-career-with-leslie-john Keep Choosing Life with Sav Clements (Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal Ideation & Attempts, And Getting Support): https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23fec197/keep-choosing-life-with-sav-clements-depression-self-harm-suicidal-ideation-and-attempts-and-getting-support Exploring Masculinity with Pete Lee: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/bbdfac0b/exploring-masculinity-with-pete-lee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with activist and educator Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz about the core principles of Judaism, including Jewish mysticism (Kabbalah), and how to meaningfully integrate these 4,000-year-old teachings into everyday life—whether you’re Jewish or not. They explore traditional practices, interpretations of scripture, the evolution of faith, and the concept of repairing the world. Episode Highlights:  3 Egregious Misunderstandings About Judaism Netflix’s Nobody Wants This & the Impact of Media A Daily Practice for Existential Overwhelm Does Faith Waver as a Rabbi? A Recharging Ritual We Could All Learn From The Hardest Question About G-d 2 Interests You May Not Expect from a Rabbi! Rabbi Shmuly’s Favorite Message from Scripture Why “Go Big or Go Home” Advice Falls Short The Power of Action and Making the Invisible Seen More about Rabbi Dr. Shmuly Yanklowitz: https://www.rabbishmuly.com/ ____ A quick 5-star rating means a lot! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: The Science of Generosity: How Giving Rewires Your Brain and Impacts Health & Behavior (+ What We Get Wrong About Human Nature) with Cherian Koshy: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/22b303ba/the-science-of-generosity-how-giving-rewires-your-brain-and-impacts-health-and-behavior-what-we-get-wrong-about-human-nature-with-cherian-koshy Can Ambition Be Sustainable? How to Prioritize What Matters in Life and Work with Kathy Oneto: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/469eca67/can-ambition-be-sustainable-how-to-prioritize-what-matters-in-life-and-work-with-kathy-oneto How to Make Film and Art That Inspires Generations with Shaun Monson: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/1ee1219a/how-to-make-film-and-art-that-inspires-generations-with-shaun-monson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with cannabis, hemp, and psychedelic educator and consultant Adrienne Airhart to explore cannabis for harm reduction, recreation, and the future of healing—plus Adrienne’s personal experience with prescription medication, cannabis, and psychedelics. Episode Highlights:  Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome, Dependence & Other Risks CBD for Seizures: What the Research Says So Far Gummies, Tinctures, and Topicals—Oh My! Did You Know You Can Get a Cannabis DNA Test? How Cannabis Legalization Impacts Alcohol Consumption Kanna, Kava, Kratom, and Functional Mushrooms: A Breakdown Psychedelics for Healing: DMT, Psilocybin, and Ketamine Inside the Cannabis Industry: Regulations, Logistics & Rapid Change No Legal Cannabis in Your Area? 2 Alternatives to Consider Harm & Cue Reduction for Tobacco, Nicotine, and Alcohol More about Adrienne: https://www.craydrienne.com/ ____ A quick 5-star rating means a lot! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: The Future of Mental Health and Medicine: Psychedelic Therapy, Technology, and Ancient Healing with Dr. Dave Rabin: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/f08920eb/the-future-of-mental-health-and-medicine-psychedelic-therapy-technology-and-ancient-healing-with-dr-dave-rabin Rethinking Alcohol: Mommy Wine Culture, Daddy Beer Culture, and More with Suzanne Warye: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/1be0c2c8/rethinking-alcohol-mommy-wine-culture-daddy-beer-culture-and-more-with-suzanne-warye Keep Choosing Life with Sav Clements (Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal Ideation & Attempts, And Getting Support): https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23fec197/keep-choosing-life-with-sav-clements-depression-self-harm-suicidal-ideation-and-attempts-and-getting-support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with counseling psychologist and executive director of the International Cultic Studies Association, Michael D. Langone, about high-control groups and cultic dynamics. They explore key characteristics of cults (they’re more common than we think!), what can prompt people to question their involvement, recovery and healing from spiritual and psychological abuse, and how to lead groups responsibly and ethically. Episode Highlights:  3 Red Flags to Watch For When Joining Any Group What if Not Everyone Agrees Something's a Cult? Is All Religion a Cult? Why or Why Not? Creating Real Harmony: Unity vs. Uniformity Can a Family Dynamic be Considered a Cult? 2 Powerful Resources for Recovery Michael’s Diagram for Evaluating Groups How Does Someone Realize They're in a Cult? Who is Most Likely to Become a Cult Leader? What Most Cults Have in Common in the U.S. Michael's book, Recovery from Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/recovery-from-cults-michael-d-langone/1100879783 ____ A quick 5-star rating means a lot! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: The Psychological Impact of Gaslighting with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2a31527c/the-psychological-impact-of-gaslighting-with-dr-stephanie-sarkis Guilt Trips, Criticism, Lies, And Healing From The Narcissistic Family System with Psychotherapists Katie McKenna and Helen Villiers: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2219cf6e/guilt-trips-criticism-lies-and-healing-from-the-narcissistic-family-system-with-psychotherapists-katie-mckenna-and-helen-villiers Diagnosed Narcissist (Lee Hammock) and Clinical Psychologist (Dr. Ramani) Offer Insights Into Manipulation And Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/241deda3/diagnosed-narcissist-lee-hammock-and-clinical-psychologist-dr-ramani-offer-insights-into-manipulation-and-narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with activist and social reformer Robin Greenfield about his approach to living in harmony with the Earth. Known for powerful social experiments—like living with zero possessions, growing and foraging all of his own food for a year, and even wearing the trash he created to highlight consumer waste—Robin shares the philosophies that guide his life, practical ways to live more simply and sustainably, and how rethinking our relationship with money, consumption, and nature could transform the way we live. Episode Highlights:  Robin's Public Vows, Experiments, and Daily Routine The "100 Changes" List: Easiest vs. Hardest Robin's Hygiene Swaps: Sunscreen, Toilet Paper, Floss & More 8 Apps, Tools, and Resources for Conscious Living Why Robin Chooses to Earn Below the Federal Poverty Threshold 4 Books & Documentaries That First Inspired Him More about Robin: https://www.robingreenfield.org/ ____ A quick 5-star rating means a ton! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get a bunch of free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: How to Make Film and Art That Inspires Generations with Shaun Monson: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/1ee1219a/how-to-make-film-and-art-that-inspires-generations-with-shaun-monson Upcycling, Sustainability, and Getting Resourceful With What You Have with Yousuf Ahmed: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/288296f6/upcycling-sustainability-and-getting-resourceful-with-what-you-have-with-yousuf-ahmed The Science of Generosity: How Giving Rewires Your Brain and Impacts Health & Behavior (+ What We Get Wrong About Human Nature) with Cherian Koshy: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/22b303ba/the-science-of-generosity-how-giving-rewires-your-brain-and-impacts-health-and-behavior-what-we-get-wrong-about-human-nature-with-cherian-koshy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with Leslie John, Harvard professor and author of Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, about the nuanced risks and rewards of undersharing versus oversharing in our lives. They explore how the choices we make about what to reveal — and what to withhold — can profoundly shape our health, relationships, and even our careers. Leslie also shares practical, research-backed strategies for becoming a more effective and intentional sharer. Episode Highlights:  Impact of Secret-Keeping on Your IQ (+ How Undersharers Are Perceived) 3 Studies About the Pros & Cons of Undersharing vs. Oversharing Transparency in Job Interviews: What Kind of Shares Works Best Burned by Oversharing? 2 Questions to Ask Yourself Discernment & Balance: What to Share, When, and With Whom ____ A quick 5-star rating means a ton! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get a bunch of free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: How Judging Others (and Yourself) is Sabotaging You with Jessica Frew: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/3ea318d2/how-judging-others-and-yourself-is-sabotaging-you-with-jessica-frew Adult Friendships: How to Start, Nurture, and When to Let Go with Dr. Joy Berkheimer: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/368f37c7/adult-friendships-how-to-start-nurture-and-when-to-let-go-with-dr-joy-berkheimer How Confidence, Culture & Self-Worth Shape Success with Big Asian Energy’s John Wang: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/228fec8c/how-confidence-culture-and-self-worth-shape-success-with-big-asian-energys-john-wang Attention-Seeking Behaviors: Understanding Sympathy-Seeking, Root Causes, and Empathy-Based Approaches with Dr. Judy Ho: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/3a0c8810/attention-seeking-behaviors-understanding-sympathy-seeking-root-causes-and-empathy-based-approaches-with-dr-judy-ho Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with filmmaker and creator of Earthlings Shaun Monson about his creative process, evolving as an artist and activist, and balancing meaningful, niche storytelling with commercial work. He shares candid advice for filmmakers on staying true to your voice while building a sustainable creative career. Episode Highlights:  Rejection to Virality: Inspiration + Word of Mouth Shaun’s Favorite Tools & Inside His Creative Process Powerful Advice to Shaun from James Cameron Editing: How Much to Show in Non-Fiction Film 2 Genres That Support Small Budgets & Visibility Have You Tried the Opposite of Your Usual Approach? 4 Powerful Quotes for Artists and Activists Collaborating with Celebs Who Share Your Values Check out Shaun's Films: https://www.nationearth.com/ ____ A quick 5-star rating means a ton! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get a bunch of free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: Filmmaker Kit Williamson on the Highs and Lows of a Creative Career: Dead Projects, Taking Control & an Unconventional Path: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/1db83de7/filmmaker-kit-williamson-on-the-highs-and-lows-of-a-creative-career-dead-projects-taking-control-and-an-unconventional-path We Need Your Art! For Health, Community, and More with Amie McNee: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/25b6ee3e/we-need-your-art-for-health-community-and-more-with-amie-mcnee Can Ambition Be Sustainable? How to Prioritize What Matters in Life and Work with Kathy Oneto: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/469eca67/can-ambition-be-sustainable-how-to-prioritize-what-matters-in-life-and-work-with-kathy-oneto Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with neuroscientist and author of Smitten, Dr. Tom Bellamy, about limerence. They discuss the evolutionary roots of limerence, why only 50% of the population experiences it, guidance for those amidst infatuation (whether reciprocal or not), when it crosses the line into prolonged limerence, and practical tips for breaking the cycle of romantic obsession. Episode Highlights:  Why Romantic Partners May Not Understand Your Feelings Dopamine: The Common Misconception and How It Really Works When Limerence Should Wear Off (And What If It Doesn’t?) Prolonged Limerence: Why Eradicating Uncertainty is Key Limerence and Infatuation vs. Delusion and Stalking ____ A quick 5-star rating means a ton! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get a bunch of free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes (audio & video) now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: Cracking The Code To Behavior Change: Troubleshooting Tiny Barriers That Destroy Big Goals with Molly Maxwell: ⁠https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24e651e8/cracking-the-code-to-behavior-change-troubleshooting-tiny-barriers-that-destroy-big-goals-with-molly-maxwell 7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rain The Dark Side of Fetishization: Representation, Stereotypes, and Origins with Kaila Yu: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/3b8cfe65/the-dark-side-of-fetishization-representation-stereotypes-and-origins-with-kaila-yu Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delanie Fischer chats with Yousuf Ahmed, founder and CEO of B-SIDES, about upcycling, sustainability, and building an ethical CPG brand—from origin story to sourcing, manufacturing, and growth. Yousuf also shares the routines and mindset practices that keep him grounded through the highs and lows of entrepreneurship, offering practical takeaways for anyone building a conscious business or looking for inspiration to upcycle in daily life. Episode Highlights:  Inside the Evening Ritual That Keeps Yousuf Grounded Where You Start Isn't Likely Where You'll End Up 2 Mindsets Every Entrepreneur Can Use as Needed Releasing Perfectionism for the Sake of the Mission Inside Scoop: Production in the U.S. vs. Canada ____ A quick 5-star rating means a ton! ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-helpless/id1251196416⁠ Get a bunch of free Self-Helpless goodies: ⁠https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/⁠ Ad-free episodes (audio & video) now on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless⁠ Your Host, Delanie Fischer:⁠ https://www.delaniefischer.com⁠ ____ Related Episodes: We Need Your Art! For Health, Community, and More with Amie McNee: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/25b6ee3e/we-need-your-art-for-health-community-and-more-with-amie-mcnee Q&A: Publishing, Podcasting, and Creative Entrepreneurship with Literary Agent Lindsey Smith and Podcaster Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/23bfb9d7/qanda-publishing-podcasting-and-creative-entrepreneurship-with-literary-agent-lindsey-smith-and-podcaster-delanie-fischer The Shocking Ingredients in Menstrual Products: Toxic Truths, Safe Alternatives, and the Future of Period Care with Arielle Loupos: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2bd21fe3/the-shocking-ingredients-in-menstrual-products-toxic-truths-safe-alternatives-and-the-future-of-period-care-with-arielle-loupos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices