Setting Screen Time Rules That Actually Work, with Jean Twenge

How can parents set limits that actually stick in a high-tech world? And what rules to set? In this episode, the prominent screen time researcher, Jean Twenge, PhD discusses her new book, 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World. Twenge explains the science behind how screens disrupt sleep, and shares ways to use parental controls effectively. The conversation also explores delaying smartphones and social media, enforcing meaningful consequences, and why changing community norms, not just household rules, can make all the difference.    Expert Jean Twenge, PhD   Book 10 Rules For Raising Kids In A High Tech World   Resources www.screenfreesleep.org  Screenagers Website Bring Screenagers to Your Community   Time Code 00:00 Introduction to Parenting in the Screen Age 00:19 Meet Jean Twenge: Expert on Generational Differences 00:52 Discussing '10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High Tech World' 02:00 The Importance of No Devices in the Bedroom 04:02 Parental Controls and Device Management 05:26 The Role of Lockboxes and Parental Controls 07:50 Challenges with Parental Control Software 13:11 Promoting Screen-Free Sleep and Community Efforts 14:02 The Impact of Disturbing Content on Kids 15:53 Balancing Busy Schedules and Sleep 18:04 Setting Rules and Consequences for Device Use 19:15 Delaying Smartphones and Social Media 21:35 Final Thoughts and Community Pledges 24:08 Conclusion and Resources

Frustrated with his obsession with video gaming, Cam Adair wrote a post about his struggles that went viral. This led to his starting a movement that has brought together thousands to work to create a balanced life at Gamequitters.com. Cam is an international speaker who shares his story about gaming addiction and offers well tested advice to youth and their parents.   Expert: Cam Adair   Episode Resources: Game Quitters Game Quitters Parent Support Group Afterschool Alliance    Additional Resources: How to bring the Screenagers movies to your community Screenagers Website   Time Code: 00:00 Introduction 00:38 Meet Cam Adair: From Gamer to Advocate 01:57 Cam's Personal Struggles with Gaming 06:42 Turning Point: Seeking Help and Recovery 09:48 Founding Game Quitters 11:11 Impact of COVID on Gaming Habits 13:37 Advice for Parents and Kids 22:15 Final Thoughts and Resources

Dr Ruston speaks with Amy Neville, mother of Alexander Neville who tragically died at age 14 after taking a fentanyl-laced pill he obtained through Snapchat. He thought he was buying an oxycontin but instead the pill was a pill laced with fentanyl.  Amy shares her journey from grief to activism, discussing her efforts to raise awareness about the dangers of social media-facilitated drug deals and her advocacy for stronger accountability from tech companies.  This episode offers insights into the vulnerabilities of teens in the digital world, the current drug crisis, and practical advice for parents on navigating these challenges with their children.   Episode Resources: Alexander Neville Foundation   Additional Resources: How to bring the Screenagers movies to your community Screenagers Website   Time Code: 00:00 Introduction 00:23 The Tragic Story of Alexander Neville 01:30 Alex's Final Days 05:00 Turning Grief into Activism 06:46 Conversations with Teens 10:05 The Role of Snapchat 18:34 Advice for Parents 21:55 Resources and Conclusion

Many parents feel hypocritical or guilty about their own phone or tech use when their kids or teens are around.  In this episode, Dr. Ruston checks in with three parents who shared those feelings and took on the One Small Change Challenge to make a change in their own tech use. Hear from them about their successes and challenges during their two-week experiment.  Even for listeners who missed the previous two episodes, this installment stands alone and offers insights on how adults can model for their children the reasons and approaches behind making positive changes to their tech time.   Additional Resources Boosting Bravery: Free Screenagers program for teens that includes DARTS.  How to bring the Screenagers movies to your community Screenagers Website   Time Code: 00:00 Introduction 00:19 Recap of Previous Episodes and DARTS Framework 01:59 Hillary's Journey: Breaking the Social Media Habit 10:41 Lisa's Challenge: Keeping the Phone Out of the Bedroom 15:35 Tori's Attempt: Creating Phone-Free Time with Her Daughter 25:00 Conclusion and Resources for Screen Time Management  

In our last episode, Dr. Delaney Ruston introduced the One Small Change Challenge and the DARTS model (Doable, Arrange for success, Reasons, Treats, Support) as she coached two moms on creating strategies to reach their phone-related small change targets. This week, she talks with another mom, a certified parent coach who wants to stop using her phone before bed and keep it in her room overnight. You'll hear the specific strategies Lisa commits to. In the next episode, you'll find out how it worked out for her and for the other moms from the previous episode. Listeners are encouraged to take on their own One Small Change Challenge and let their kids in on what they're aiming to do and the strategies they're using, and, most importantly, to ask their kids for support. Change is not easy. If you're participating in the challenge, email Dr. Ruston at [email protected] and let her know how it's going.     Additional Resources Boosting Bravery: Free Screenagers program for teens that includes DARTS.  How to bring the Screenagers movies to your community Screenagers Website   Time Code 00:00 Introduction to Parenting in the Screen Age 00:21 Recap of the One Small Change Challenge 00:39 Introducing Lisa and Her Phone Habit 01:59 Lisa's Struggle with Phone Use at Night 06:38 Implementing the DARTS Method 07:59 Setting Goals and Arranging for Success 11:39 Reinforcement and Support Strategies 17:56 Conclusion and Next Steps  

Do you ever catch yourself reaching for your phone when you don't really need or want to, and wonder what that shows your kids? In this episode, Screenagers creator Dr. Delaney Ruston talks with two moms who decide it's time to make a change. They talk about the habits they want to shift and take on the One Small Change Challenge using a model called DARTS: Doable, Arrange for success, Reasons, Treats, and Support. Follow along as Delaney walks Tory and Hillary through setting their own goals, and try using this model to set yours too. We'd love to hear if you do, so send a note to [email protected]. It's an honest look at what happens when parents face their own phone habits and try something new. In a future episode, we'll check in to see how their challenges went.   Additional Resources Bring Screenagers to your community Screenagers Website   Time Code 00:00 Introduction 01:25 The One Small Change Challenge 01:43 Introducing the DARTS Model 03:22 Meet Hillary: A Parent's Struggle with Phone Use 09:31 Setting Goals and Creating an Action Plan 16:58 Finding Support and Accountability 17:55 Engaging Family in the Journey 18:14 The Importance of Parental Vulnerability 21:07 Planning the Challenge 22:23 Tory's Struggle with Phone Use 26:24 Setting Goals with the DARTS Model 32:02 Creating a Support System 32:31 Conclusion and Call to Action  

What kind of partner do you want to be someday? Do you think privacy is important in a relationship? What do you think pornography leaves out about real relationships? These are just a few of the unusual yet important questions boys are rarely asked. In this episode, Dr. Delaney Ruston continues her conversation with educator Christopher Pepper and journalist Joanna Schroeder, co-authors of the new book Talk To Your Boys. Together, they discuss how to help boys navigate gaming, romantic relationships, and pornography. They explore online sports betting ("the house always wins"), share ways to bring up sensitive topics like pornography, and highlight the particular role dads can play in guiding these conversations.   Featured Experts Christopher Pepper Joanna Schroeder‍ ‍ Book Talk To Your Boys: 16 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow Into Confident, Caring Young Men, by Christopher Pepper and Joanna Schroeder   Additional Resources Stan Tatkin Screenagers Website Bring Screenagers to your community   Time Code 00:00 Breaking Stereotypes: The Importance of Talking to Boys 00:37 The Influence of Online Algorithms on Teenage Boys 01:22 The Allure and Risks of Sports Betting 04:16 Navigating Relationships and Sexuality 07:35 The Impact of Media on Perceptions of Sex 16:03 Addressing Pornography and Sexual Content 26:24 Encouraging Open Conversations and Emotional Awareness 28:06 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

How are today's boys absorbing messages about masculinity from violent media and games? How early does this begin, and what happens when gaming chats turn cruel or hostile? Dr. Ruston talks with author-educator Christopher Pepper and journalist Joanna Schroeder, co-authors of the recently released book, Talk To Your Boys.  They share practical "interrupter" tools and relatable stories that help parents support boys as they encounter conflict through gaming, navigate their online lives, and grow into confident, caring young men.   Featured Experts Christopher Pepper Joanna Schroeder   Book  Talk To Your Boys: 16 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow Into Confident, Caring Young Men, by Christopher Pepper and Joanna Schroeder   Time Code 00:00 Introduction to Parenting in the Screen Age 00:19 Meet the Authors: Christopher Pepper and Joanna Schroeder 00:49 Connecting with Sons Through Technology 02:02 The Importance of Conversations About Masculinity 05:17 Understanding Boys' Online Behavior 11:05 Addressing Social Cruelty and Bullying 23:26 Modeling Positive Behavior for Boys 26:23 Conclusion and Next Episode Preview

Host Dr. Ruston introduces Screenagers' recently launched Screen-Free Sleep campaign, focused on helping parents keep devices out of kids' bedrooms for sleep time.  Ruston explains the campaign's goals, the science behind it, and how you can participate in making screen-free sleep the norm in your child's school and community. This includes resources like iSleep Pro kits and a fun flash mob dance.  She also offers practical solutions to some of the common challenges parents face when creating tech-free sleep for their kids and tweens. It all wraps up with lively "Man on the Street" interviews with parents and kids, making it a perfect listen for adults to enjoy together with their children.   Resources www.screenfreesleep.org   Time Code 00:00 Introduction to Screen-Free Sleep 00:41 About the Screen-Free Sleep Campaign 06:28 Man on the Street Interviews 11:09 Common Pushbacks and Solutions 15:43 Student Sleep Health Week and Resources 17:01 Call to Action and Conclusion

Parenting kids has always had challenges, but now, in the tech revolution, conflicts are at a new level. The good news is that research shows that conflicts done well have all sorts of benefits for youth. But how do we ensure healthier conflicts? Dr. Ruston talks with Lisa Damour, Ph.D., psychologist and author of three New York Times best-selling books about adolescents, including "The Emotional Lives of Teenagers." The episode explores teen psychology, common screen time arguments, and several approaches to having healthier conflicts. The episode is intended for adult and youth audiences.   Featured Expert Lisa Damour   Research References The role of music in adolescents' mood regulation (Sage Journal) Extreme Metal Music and Anger Processing (Frontiers in Human Neuroscience) The appeal of sad music: A brief overview of current directions in research on motivations for listening to sad music (The Arts in Psychotherapy)   Additional Links  Lisa Damour's website  The Ask Lisa Podcast   Books by Lisa Damour Untangled Under Pressure  The Emotional Lives Of Teenagers