RE 581: The BEST Way to Feel Better

Today we have Lidia. She is 41 years old from Seattle, WA and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 31st, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   [01:40] Thoughts from Paul:   Some of you may have seen the title of today's episode which is The Best Way to Feel Better. And that's why you're tuning in – to feel better. Maybe you're in early sobriety and you're not feeling good.   Paul shares with us how the best way of feeling better has taken place in his life. It comes when he may be having a bad day but has an interview with a new guest scheduled. There have been a few times where he was hoping that they wouldn't show but has discovered that within the first few minutes of talking with them – he feels better.   The best way to feel better is to talk to another human being. Talk to someone you trust, maybe make an unplanned visit to a friend's house. There is a reason they call it the 10,000-pound phone. Because the mind (or addiction) wants you alone. Just knowing this makes it easier to pick up the phone.   [06:09] Paul introduces Lidia:   Lidia is 41 years old, and lives outside of Seattle with her husband, their daughter and their dog. For fun, Lidia enjoys hiking, puppy yoga, her daughter's Girl Scouts and the local community theater.   Lidia was born in Warsaw, Poland to young parents and says alcohol was a big part of the culture. She recalls having her first drink to celebrate her second or third birthday. When she was six, she and her mom immigrated to the US. Her mother worked a lot, which left Lidia to fend for herself a good bit.   During her teen years, Lidia would attend summer camps where it was easy to find older kids to buy her alcohol. The closest relationship she had was with     Throughout the teen years and college, Lidia says she was good at drinking and wore it as a badge of honor. After reaching adulthood, the drinking was a daily occurrence finding any excuse to drink whether at home or out with friends. Alcohol was correlated with fun at this time in her life.   Lidia met her husband when she was 27. They were both members of a rock-climbing community and became climbing partners. It wasn't long after meeting that they ended up married and having their daughter. This was the first time that her relationship with alcohol was threatened because she felt they needed to be more responsible with a child.   Lidia used alcohol to cope with postpartum depression. The first red flag first showed when she realized she was drinking and driving with her daughter. Lidia didn't know much about recovery or how to support herself through it, so she was full of shame and guilt. Eventually she told her husband and ended up enrolling in an IOP, attending AA and got sober for four years.   Because Lidia had quit for her daughter and not herself, she began to have resentments and felt like she wasn't having any fun. Since she related fun with alcohol, she went back to drinking. It was then that others were watching her and she assured them she was fine. Lidia began trying to hide her drinking because she didn't want to feel the judgment.   Last summer, Lidia was told by her husband that she would lose her family if she continued drinking like she was. They chose a quit date of September 1st and for motivation, Lidia registered for an RE trip to Costa Rica which was five months away.   The first 30 days went well for Lidia. The pink cloud arrived and she started feeling better physically. Month two found her crashing a bit and she began learning how to slow down. Going forward, Lidia is looking forward to spending more time with her daughter and the Girl Scout troop, getting involved in the local community theater and celebrating all of her wins, big and small.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we've got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. I love you guys.     RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube Café RE    

Today we have Harvey. He is 71 years old, lives in Fort Myers, FL and took his last drink on January 18th, 2026.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – THE social app for sober people   Registration for our annual Bozeman retreat begins on Wednesday April 1st. This event takes place August 12th-16th. This retreat is all about fun, laughter, smiles and silent disco. We didn't quit drinking to not have fun!  Musical guest Uprise will be back and it's going to be another awesome year.   [03:54] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us and excerpt from Shannon Alder regarding sensitive people. See if this rings true for you:   "Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won't tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they will end the friendship. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing and the ones that often become activists for the broken-hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved."   Would you consider yourself a sensitive person? It isn't a bad thing at all, because you feel. And look out, it's the sober, sensitive person through their healing that heals others. That's the work we are doing here.   [08:01] Paul introduces Harvey:   Harvey is originally from Brooklyn but has lived many other places and currently spends his time between Virginia Beach and Fort Myers, FL. Harvey met his wife in 1980, and they have been married over 40 years. He works part time for CNN audio and just celebrated his 71st birthday.   Harvey took his first drink when he was 16 and says it wasn't the "a-ha" moment that many others have had. In college, weed was Harvey's drug of choice until it stopped working for him. He was able to quit easily but alcohol proved to be different.   In 1987 after a move to LA, Harvey and his wife got into the wine culture. It wasn't until two years later that he began to question his drinking and realizing he often woke up not feeling well. This began a tradition of Dry January where Harvey and his wife would quit drinking to let their bodies heal but never because they thought they were alcoholics.   In 2011 Harvey had his first turning point in his drinking. He was apparently hiding his drinking from his wife. When she confronted him with the empties he was hiding, he decided to go to an addiction counselor. They recommended AA and Harvey attended daily until he attempted to work the steps. The Higher Power aspect soured him.   Harvey went back out for more field research. Over time his wife was growing tired of his drinking and he eventually decided in 2024 to get back into recovery and discovered Recovery Elevator and Café RE when seeking alternatives to AA. He says he jumped right into the community and hasn't left.    Going forward Harvey is doing this for him and not just for his family. There have been a few difficult bouts of field research, but Harvey is committed to continuing his recovery. He acknowledges that he is coming to the acceptance phase of his grieving of alcohol. Harvey is exploring new hobbies, specifically music. He intends to continue going to Café RE chats, walking and being open to more opportunities to have fun.   Harvey's parting piece of guidance: don't put it off till next month or to Monday. If you've made the decision that you want to quit, do it immediately.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we've got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. I love you guys.     Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube      

Today we have Butch. He is 49 years old and is from Indianapolis, IN and took his last drink on November 1st, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   [02:33] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares and excerpt from an interview with Steve-O, who has 17 years of sobriety.   Steve-O said the worst thing would be to kinda have alcoholism. To kinda have a drinking problem. Because kinda is where people live for 20 years. Kinda is how you blow your 40s. Kinda is how you show up halfway to everything that matters. For your kids, your marriage, your job, your actual life. And then wonder why nothing ever feels real.   And while you're busy deciding whether it's really that bad, the years are passing by. The other side of what Steve-O is saying – he isn't just describing a trap, he's describing a clear escape plan. By being here, you have already made the call. Maybe it's still messy and maybe it's still early and maybe some days you're not sure what you're doing. But you are here fully.   We are done with "kinda". You've made a decision, now don't question that decision. The years that are left are yours, listeners. Now you can show up for them.   [07:31] Paul introduces Butch:   Butch is 49 and lives in Indianapolis with his wife and their cat named Ezra. For fun he is learning to play the bass guitar and recently started blogging.   Butch says he had his first drink in high school and found it helped him cut loose, relax, be funny and he really enjoyed it. His drinking was mostly off and on until he and his girlfriend were out on their own in his early 20s and nobody other than his wife knew he was drinking so much. He had responsibilities but struggled to hold down a job. After about a year and a half, Butch was able to reel it in to just binge drinking on weekends.   Over time Butch was spending more and more time drinking by himself in his basement and not having the energy to do much the next day. He would then try and tell himself it would only be one or two drinks, but that never happened. It wasn't until his early 40s that he started to question if he had a problem. His wife at the time wasn't very supportive of him when he asked for support with his attempt to take a break from alcohol, so he continued to drink.   Soon after this marriage ended, Butch got remarried in 2022. A few weeks later he quit drinking for seven months and says he felt great physically and mentally. It was a trip to Vegas on his birthday that he found himself drinking again. Butch says he moderated while on the trip, but after coming back he found himself slowly drinking more and more even though his wife wouldn't allow him to isolate like before. Eventually Butch started feeling the anxiety coming back and just wasn't feeling good about his drinking. He is approaching 50 years old, has anxiety and physical pain and was just ready to stop.   Around his recent sobriety date, Butch burned the ships with his family and friends. They have all been very supportive of him. He woke up the morning of November 1st and was ready to give it another try. Within the first few weeks he started exercising and eating better, he and his wife would go for walks and go to bed early. He was feeling great again.   Butch never spend much time at church before being married to his current wife so they have been going regularly. Prayer and AA has been helpful to Butch. He has no plans of drinking again but knows it's "one day at a time". Some of the resource and recovery tools that Butch uses are podcasts, books and has recently started blogging in the health and wellness space but there is a lot of crossovers with his recovery. Butch is off of anti-anxiety medications, looks forward to travelling more, learning to play his bass guitar and hopes to get a car to work on soon to keep himself busy.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you've got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.     Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube      

Today we have Jan. She is 75 years old from Winchester, VA and took her last drink on February 1st, 2021.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – THE social app for sober people   Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.   **TRIGGER WARNING** this episode references firearms and sexual assault   [02:48] Thoughts from Paul:   A common phrase in the recovery space is "protect your energy". Paul feels it is a solid idea and tries to practice it as well. His goal in life had always been to bring people together and it has been a major pain point for him to see the current administration purposely trying to separate or divide Americans.   Paul tries to focus on what he can control and turn everything else – especially the news. He shares a story about a recent visit to his parents' house where the news was on and he couldn't find the remote to turn it off.   Paull mentions all of this to remind us of what RE stands for, which is community, connection, inclusivity and love. Many of the things going on in our country go completely against our mission so we have to protect our energy and turn that stuff off, and you should too.   [07:49] Paul introduces Jan:   Jan currently lives in Winchester, VA, she is divorced, has one adult son named Sam and a 14-year-old Pekingese. For fun Jan enjoys walking, hiking, being outside and dancing.   Jan started drinking when she was 19 and attending school in Europe. She reflects that she spent time with the wildest group where they did a lot of drugs and drank. When she returned to the US, she attended the University of Arizona and did a lot of traveling back in forth to Mexico and eventually ended up in Puerto Vallarta. Jan says she always gravitated to the people she shouldn't have.   Bad things began happening to Jan due to her drug and alcohol use. She found herself in a lot of scary situations that eventually led to her depression and desire to move back to the US. Jan began to attend AA and was able to maintain four years of sobriety about fifteen years ago but started drinking again.   There was no rock-bottom moment leading up Jan's quit date in 2021, but she was tired of the mental obsession with alcohol. She tried naltrexone and The Sinclair Method, Antabuse and discovered Café RE after a friend of her son suggested it. She quit drinking right around the same time she joined.   Over the years prior to quitting drinking, Jan had been misdiagnosed with different mental health disorders. Since she has quit, she no longer needs the meds they believed she did. Jan says she sees things more clearly and enjoys photography now. Her love of nature has increased. The connection piece in recovery has also been very important to Jan, and she enjoys hosting some of the chats within Café RE. She stresses that we can't do this alone and having community is vital to recovery.   One of Jan's favorite recovery quotes is that it's a lot easier to stay sober than to get sober. Some of her advice for those new in recovery is to get involved with community, listen to podcasts, read quit lit and attend meetups.     Recovery Elevator Go big because eventually we'll all go home. Love thy neighbor. I love you guys.   RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube      

Today we have Kendra. She is 38 years old from Central Minnesota and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – THE social app for sober people   Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.   Recovery Elevator's first ever Sober Ukelele Retreat will be November 7th-14th, 2026. Registration opens May 1st.   [03:42] Thoughts from Paul:   Today Paul unwraps the reason that we drink. It isn't because alcohol is the most addictive drug on the planet or because you like the taste of wood, hops or earthy floral notes. For millions of years, humans evolved with the expectation of a loving and accepting community to be surrounding us at all times. In the modern world we are ripped away from this and are expected to be okay by ourselves.   The opposite of addiction is connection, and we've never been more disconnected as a species.   Be kind to yourself, this is not your fault. The pain that something was missing landed in your biology likely before you said your first word. This is why we all carry so much shame when something is missing or wrong we internalize it as if we are the problem and we are bad. Again, this is not your fault. But it is tasked to you, us, we to course correct – and we are.   [08:25] Paul introduces Kendra:   Kendra was previously interviewed on episode 501. She is 38 years old and has one 19-year-old daughter. She is a nephrology practice nurse and for fun she likes to cook, walk, bike, cycle and rollerblade.   Kendra never drank in high school and was an overachiever. She had great grades and played hockey. Kendra had her daughter when she was 19 so was unable to further her hockey career into college. Her daughter was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at six days old and Kendra says that forced her to grow up quickly.   Kendra had her first drink at age 21 and while she got very sick, she loved the relief that it gave her. Drinking helped her cope with the "what the hell am I doing in life" feelings and was an outlet for her stress of raising her daughter.   In 2008, Kendra got into a relationship and they drank regularly. He was able to moderate whereas Kendra was not. It was a balancing act keeping up with her party girl persona, raising her daughter and going to school to establish a career for herself.   After her divorce in 2018, she wasn't around alcohol as much but still struggled with the off switch. When the hangovers started affecting her day-to-day life, she realized she had an issue. Kendra says she was capable of managing her drinking for a time as she was building a successful life for herself but would still binge drink on weekends when she had the opportunity.   In 2023, while attempting moderation, Kendra concluded that alcohol wasn't fostering any positivity in her life. She knew she needed to quit. She had already been tracking her sobriety streaks and would get upset with herself when she broke them. She found the app I Am Sober helpful to keep track her streaks and feel like she was making progress.   Having already been reading quit lit and listening the RE podcast, she was priming herself to finally move on from alcohol. After her last drink, Kendra began focusing on rest, meditation, breathwork and doing a lot of walking and listening to podcasts about recovery, health and longevity. Since quitting, Kendra has found mental clarity, less anxiety and her meditation practice helps keep her centered.     Recovery Elevator This isn't a no to alcohol But a yes to a better life       RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube      

Today we have Tom. He is 40 years old from New Canaan, CT and took his last drink on July 12th, 2024.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Soberlink – sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   Happy March! The Café RE theme this month is Mindfulness and Awareness. This key topic helps us build awareness and space, which ultimately gives us the freedom to make different choices beyond drinking. Café RE will feature chats focused on mindfulness. It has been said that the most powerful medicine can't match the power of awareness.   Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.   [03:56] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us a quote from author Brianna Wiest.   "Your new life is going to cost you your old one. It's going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction. It's going to cost you relationships and friends. It's going to cost you being liked and understood. It doesn't matter. The people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. You're going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward. Instead of being liked, you're going to be loved. Instead of being understood, you're going to be seen. All you're going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are." [06:25] Paul introduces Tom:   Tom is 40 years old and lives in New Canaan, CT. He is a construction superintendent, is married and they have 5-year-old twins. For fun, Tom enjoys gold, skiing and spending time with his kids.   Tom first drank at age 14 and says he frequently blacked out when he drank going forward. There were multiple legal consequences throughout his late teens and early twenties as his binge drinking continued through college. Around age 21, Tom began using cocaine which enabled him to drink more with less blackouts.   After college, Tom and his friends mainly drank on the weekend. Fast forward a few years and he found himself drinking alone during the week while his friends did not. As time progressed, he would wake up daily and trash talk himself for not being able to stop at just one or two. He felt like Jekyll and Hyde and struggled with that throughout his 30's.   In 2020, Tom's twins were born. He struggled to juggle his drinking life and his family life. His wife was growing frustrated, and Tom wasn't the parent that he had hoped he would be. In spite of this, he never really thought about quitting drinking, but quickly realized moderation didn't work. He knew he would need to quit drinking for himself and not just for his family. His wife was growing frustrated, and Tom knew he would lose everything if he didn't quit.   On June 12th, 2024, Tom was going to start a new job and looked at it as a clean slate. He says quitting was awkward and he began to talk to an alcohol counselor that helped him a lot. Within the first few months Tom felt better physically and able to establish a workout routine which helped him start the day in a better headspace. He started listening to the RE podcast and relating to others' stories. Exercise has become a hobby for Tom. Woodworking is a hobby that has come back for Tom as well, he takes pride in the projects he completes now.   Tom's parting piece of guidance: If you can make it through the first couple of days, and start to see the benefit, it'll get better every day. There'll be bad moments and challenging moments, but don't give up.     Recovery Elevator Remember this is an inside job. It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.     RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube      

Today we have Greg. He is 57 years old and from Midlothian, VA. He took his last drink on December 8th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – the social app for sober people   Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, please submit your story. There is no sobriety time requirement. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.   If you have been thinking about joining Café RE, now is the time. The monthly price is increasing to $29 per month on March 1st. If you're already a member, your price will not increase, this is only for new membership.  Keep in mind that $29 per month is most likely a fraction of what you may have spent on alcohol per month.   [03:55] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us a beautifully written piece someone shared with him a few months ago.   In summary, they didn't quit drinking after a dramatic rock bottom, but after a quiet realization. Alcohol had become an automatic habit used to avoid feelings, slowly eroding sleep , mood, health, clarity, and self-respect. "Functioning" wasn't truly living. When they stopped lying to themselves about its cost and stopped romanticizing it, drinking felt pointless—and they simply chose honesty over pretending.   [10:12] Paul introduces Greg:   Greg is 57 years old from Midlothian, VA. For work, Greg is self-employed and does lawn, landscape and maintenance work. He has been married for 24 years, and he has four adult children, one grandchild, two dogs and a cat. For fun, Greg enjoys going to yard sales, is a big sports fan and enjoys music of all kinds.   Greg rarely drank in high school but began drinking regularly in college, which hurt his grades. After his GPA fell below 2.0, his father refused to keep paying for school unless he transferred to a Christian university. Greg initially moved out and continued partying while working a minimum-wage job but eventually accepted his father's offer. Despite strict no-drinking rules at the new school, he found ways to keep partying.   With his first child on the way after graduation, Greg got a position working in retail management. A few years later he shifted to working in the restaurant business, which found him drinking every evening after work and staying at the bar through all hours.   After his sister's sudden death, Greg's drinking intensified and shifted from social partying to drinking alone as a way to cope. He didn't see himself as an alcoholic - it just felt normal to him. When his relationship with the mother of his first two children ended, his drinking continued to worsen.   Within a few years, Greg and his current wife married and had two kids together. Greg continued to drink daily and over the years, his wife's tolerance decreased. She tried everything she could to help him stop, but eventually she began talking about divorce and separation, but he didn't believe she would do it.   In March 2025, his wife moved out. Greg had made a statement that this was just who he was, and he was done trying to quit drinking and he now believes that was the straw that broke the camel's back. He still had no interest in quitting drinking until August 2025 when he heard a voice telling him to start going back to church.   This was the catalyst Greg needed, and he surrendered control of his life to Jesus Christ and became active in his church community. He starts his mornings with reading the bible, journalling and reviewing his thoughts and feelings. He is currently starting a recovery group at his church. Greg and his wife are working on reconciliation. Now 45 days away from alcohol at the time of recording, Greg feels like a completely different person.     Recovery Elevator  This isn't a no to alcohol, But a hell yes to a better life I love you guys,     RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube      

Today we have Kerri. She is 51 years old from Maine and took her last drink on June 7th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Soberlink – sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   If you have been thinking about joining Café RE, now is the time. The monthly price is increasing to $29 per month on March 1st. If you're already a member, your price will not increase, this is only for new membership.  Keep in mind that $29 per month is most likely a fraction of what you may have spent on alcohol per month.   [04:09] Thoughts from Paul:   Last week we talked about patience and how preparation is sacred work. This week, we are talking about building your expedition team a.k.a., your sobriety team.   First, there is this podcast. Paul and the RE production team are part of your team. All interviewees are part of your team.   Then you need community. This can be in-person or online with other sober people. You need people who get it, who've been where you are, and who can remind you why you are doing this. There is also no shame in seeking professional help or a therapist.   And don't forget God, or a higher power, or the universe, or whatever you want to call that thing bigger than yourself. Because when you're in the wilderness and the map runs out.   This week, ask yourself: who's on my team? And if the answer is "nobody yet" then your mission is to find at least one person. Because you can't do this alone. You weren't meant to do this alone. Lean in.   [08:14] Paul introduces Kerri:   Kerri is 51 and lives in Maine. She is a registered nurse, divorced and has two older teenagers. For fun she loves live music, yoga, sauna, kayak, writing and spending time with her kids.   Kerri first tried alcohol when she was 12. She grew up in a townhouse community with lots of other kids and limited supervision. Kerri went to college in Boston where she says she partied like the guys did and was the girl that was let in. Her 20's were pretty healthy and she doesn't feel her drinking was a problem at that point.   Kerri has a sister in recovery. She says their alcoholism was more overt and people would comment on it, but Kerri kept drinking privately and faked control over it. When she got married, she and her husband were drinking partners and would drink daily. Over time she says she felt a switch flip and began to try and control her drinking with little luck.   When she got divorced, Kerri says she was undone. Alcohol became her coping mechanism, but she kept it concealed and remained functional. She tried to quit after her first DUI, but it lasted nine months and then she began to test the water again every few months afterwards. Kerri feels that moderation is a lie, from her experience.   Last June, Kerri lost her job as a school nurse and says she hit an emotional rock bottom. She no longer cared about herself, drank a box of wine and then drove leading to another DUI. Prior to this event, her drinking had been ramping up to the point her kids were noticing it. Her kids reaction to her DUI led Kerri to decide she needed to quit.   Utilizing her sister as a resource and attending AA, Kerri was determined to work on her recovery. Her life was crashing down around her, and her sister asked her what she was going to do differently. Kerri found herself on her knees surrendering and asking for help, which is something that has never been easy for her.   Podcasts have been a great tool for Kerri because she lives in a rural area and it's hard to get to meetings. Other tools she uses are journaling, sauna, yoga and she is committed to attending AA once a week.   Kerri's message to those that are still struggling: "your life will get better. It is so incredibly worth it. It could be the most challenging thing you're ever going to go through but imagine being clear and present for your own life".       Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down You've got to take the stairs back up We can do this       RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube      

Today we have Lewis. He is 39 years old from Burlington, VT and he took his last rink of alcohol on June 12th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   August 12th – 16th: Get ready to elevate your alcohol-free life in Big Sky Country. Join RE in Bozeman, Montana for our annual sober summer retreat. Registration opens April 1st. This isn't your typical retreat. We're talking adventure, laughter and deep bonds with people who get it. This retreat will remind you why choosing freedom over booze was the best decision you ever made.   [01:52] Thoughts from Paul:   This week, Paul talks about something that doesn't get discussed enough in recovery: patience and preparation.   Getting sober takes time. Preparing for your new life takes time. Some people are able to spontaneously quit drinking and never look back, but most have to slowly build momentum before trust falling into an alcohol-free life.   Some of you may have been listening to this podcast for years and feeling guilty for still drinking – DON'T. Maybe you think you are failing because you haven't quit yet. You're NOT. You are in preparation mode and intentional preparation is sacred work.   Every time you question whether alcohol is worth it, you're gathering intelligence. Every moment you imagine life without drinking; you're building the mental map you'll need for the actual journey.   This week, give yourself permission to be exactly where you are. If you're still drinking and listening, you're right where you need to be. It doesn't matter if you quit yesterday, last month or several years ago, you're right where you need to be.   [06:46] Paul introduces Lewis:   Lewis is 39 years old and grew up in Australia but now lives in Burlington, VT.  He runs a business. For fun, Lewis likes run and being outdoors snowboarding, surfing, eat good food and hang out with friends.   Lewis grew up with two brothers, who he is still close with, and says they had a great childhood living in a remote area in Western Australia. He tried alcohol for the first time when he was 14 and loved it immediately.   Lewis' drinking took off while attending university in Perth where the social life mainly revolved around alcohol. He didn't realize at the time that he was drinking more than others. He completed his studies in Canada where his drinking escalated because he was away from family and responsibilities. The drinking became a daily habit when he began his career as a bartender while in Greece.   Lewis moved back to Australia and began working in a brewery. He enjoyed that fact that there were less people there judging him. He knew his drinking was problematic when more and more negative things started happening, but he wasn't ready to confront it. There were many attempts to moderate, and he was able to take breaks, but never got it completely under control.   In 2020, Lewis realized he was powerless over alcohol but wasn't ready to accept it. Moderation attempts continued and Lewis moved to Vermont hoping the geographical cure would help him. He was a binge drinker, so daily drinking wasn't a concern for him, but he began having falls and missing work due to his binges.   On his last binge, it finally occurred to him that if he kept going, he was going to lose everything or die. He woke up last June and made the decision to finally stop drinking.   Lewis joined AA and found a great community within it. He started out going to at least five meetings a week and found a sponsor in a friend he had previously met at the gym while he was still drinking. Lewis is very open about his recovery and has found that most people have been very supportive.    Tools that are helpful to Lewis include podcasts, quit-lit, The Phoenix (sober workout community), his higher power and AA. Lewis is learning he can make plans, have goals and follow through with them.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down You gotta take the stairs back up. We can do this!       RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube Café RE      

Today we have Jack. He is 45 years old and from Los Angeles, CA. He took his last drink of alcohol on December 31st, 2024.   This episode is brought to you by:   Café RE – THE social app for sober people. Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   [02:47] Thoughts from Paul:   Last week Paul talked about the intentional phase of sobriety: choosing what you want to explore next and how you are going to fill the void left by alcohol.   Looking at Lewis and Clark, we know that no expedition goes according to plan. So this week we will talk about setbacks because they're part of life. Maybe it's relapse (or Field Research as we refer to it in RE). Maybe it's an injury that sidelines your new running routine or an illness that drains your energy for weeks. Or it may just be life being life.   The thing about setbacks – they don't erase your progress; they're just part of the terrain. If you drink again, you have not gone back to zero. You've gathered data. You know more now than you did before – about triggers, patterns, what works and what doesn't.   The goal here is not perfection, it's persistence. If you are facing a setback – big or small – ask yourself: what's the adjusted route? Not "should I give up?" but "how do I keep moving forward from here?"   [7:46] Paul introduces Jack:   Jack grew up in New Jersey but now lives in LA. He is a runner and currently training for a marathon. He loves movies and video games, and he is currently taking a fragrance development course and plans to build his own brand and launch his own fragrance in the future.   Growing up, Jack was always sensitive and shy kid. His parents drank and alcohol was just a regular part of life with wine at dinner and craft beer always around.   As a teenager, Jack drank to fit in at parties. Jack is gay and used alcohol to cancel out his anxiety and the awkwardness he felt socially. He says he didn't drink all the time and there were no real consequences, just teenage experimentation,   Jack drank on the weekends through college and enjoyed going out to gay clubs. After transferring from Savannah back to NYC, he finished school and got a job as a graphic designer. Drinking became a daily activity on his commutes and on weekends. Jack also began moonlighting as a DJ hosting parties in Manhattan and Brooklyn, something he always dreamed of doing when he was a teenager. This opened up a new world of nightlife for Jack.   Jack would drink all night while DJ'ing and go to work a few hours later. He had his first panic attack at work and while he knew that it was the hangover that triggered it but found that alcohol gave him instant relief. Blackouts began to happen regularly, and it dawned on Jack that he wasn't sure he was going to be able to stop drinking.   Jack became sober-curious in 2016. He started reading books and taking time off from drinking. Soon after this started his partner had an opportunity to go to grad school in Boston and Jack felt like this could be a clean slate.   After a few years alcohol-free, Jack felt like he could handle alcohol again. He planned to drink on his birthday. This opened the door for regression and within 6 months, the pandemic found Jack drinking just like he was before.   Jack's anxiety and panic attacks caused by his alcohol abuse were getting the best of him. After a rough weekend in Vegas, he drank through that holiday and knew that he couldn't continue to drink. He had heard about RE's Dry January course and burned the ships with his partner.   Jack said the course was exactly what he needed at the time and he knew within the first week that this is how he wants to live his life. He felt the pink cloud and euphoria from making the daily decision to be sober. He is an active member in Café RE, enjoys running, hiking, meditation and finding connections with community. Jack says he has gone from Passive Sobriety to Active Recovery.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down You got to take the stairs back up We can do this.   RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube