167 Why We Freeze at the Edge of What We Want | Barb Patterson

We’ve all had moments when a want feels clear, alive, and true, and yet, when it comes time to move toward it, something inside of us hesitates, tightens, or stalls.In today’s episode, we explore that mysterious place, the edge, where our heart’s desire meets old conditioning, protection, and the parts of us that don’t yet feel free.What if the pause, the freeze, or the resistance isn’t a sign of failure, self-sabotage, or “not wanting it enough”?What if nothing is wrong at all?Together, we look at why so many of us struggle to move toward the very things we care about, how our minds try to solve what doesn’t need fixing, and what becomes possible when we meet that edge with presence instead of pressure.Rather than forcing ourselves through fear, what's possible when we learn to stay with ourselves long enough for something new to reorganize inside?If you’re standing at the edge of a want, a longing, or a next chapter, this conversation is for you.Thank you for listening to the Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast. For more resources like this, visit Barb's website at Barbarapatterson.com.SHOW NOTES:[00:00] - Exploring the Nature of Wants[03:23] - Understanding Resistance to Our Desires[05:11] - The Complexity of Emotionally Loaded Wants[07:03] - Navigating the Edge of Desire and Protection[09:05] - The Role of Presence in Overcoming Resistance[10:32] - Transforming Wants into Action[12:37] - The Power of Direct Experience[14:44] - Embracing the Full Range of Human Experience[17:04] - The Journey of Self-Discovery and Presence[19:06] - Awakening to Our True Potential[21:37] - Inviting Transformation Through PresenceSHOW LINKS:Subscribe to the podcast on YouTube Follow Barb on LinkedinFollow Barb on Instagram

What happens when we stop trying to control our lives and begin listening to the quiet nudges within? What becomes possible when we’re willing to step into the space where the known ends and life begins?In this conversation, author and world traveler Kristy Halvorsen joins me from inside her Airstream, the home she’s lived in for the past eight years while following what she calls the “tickles of her soul.”Kristy’s book, Perfect Unfolding, chronicles not just a physical journey across North America but an inner journey of awakening, surrender, and discovering a deeper connection to life.We explore how aloneness began to fall away, what it means to trust the unknown, how to live from inner guidance rather than fear, and the quiet courage it takes to follow the path that calls to us, even when it makes no logical sense.If you’ve been feeling a tug toward something new, a shift, a desire, or a possibility you can’t quite explain, this episode is an invitation to listen more closely. To trust the nudges. To take the next step without knowing the whole map. And to discover, as Kristy has, that life often leads us somewhere far more beautiful than anything we could have planned.Here’s my conversation with Kristy Halvorsen.Thank you for listening to the Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast. For more resources like this, visit Barb's website at Barbarapatterson.com.SHOW NOTES:[00:00] - Introduction to Perfect Unfolding[05:52] - The Journey of Aloneness and Connection[08:50] - Embracing Surrender and Transformation[11:47] - The Power of Following Your Heart[14:34] - The Impact of Unexpected Connections[17:51] - Living by the Tickles of the Soul[25:46] - Embracing the Unknown[33:48] - The Power of Presence in Relationships[41:42] - Trusting the Journey of Life[50:45] - Thank you for listening to The Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast!SHOW LINKS:Visit Kristy's website.Read Kristy's book, Perfect UnfoldingFollow Kristy on Instagram

So many of us learn early in our careers to put on a kind of professionalism, a polished version of ourselves that keeps us safe, earns approval, and helps us fit into the rooms we enter. But over time, that same persona can become a quiet constraint. It creates distance. It limits our expression. And it costs us connection, with ourselves and with others.In this week’s episode, I'm joined by Ken De Loreto, Founder of Provoke Learning, long-time facilitator of leadership and learning, and co-host of the GenX at 60 podcast. Over his 38 years of working with organizations and leaders, Ken has taken a profound journey from performing and “earning the right” to reveal himself… to beginning from who he really is.Ken shares about the masks he used to rely on, the inner protector he learned to listen to, and the surprising freedom that opened up when he stopped trying to be who he thought others needed him to be. We explore the relationship between authenticity and professionalism, the longing we all have to belong, and the ways we quietly limit ourselves without even realizing it.This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt pressure to manage their image, prove their worth, or hold back the truer parts of themselves.This episode invites you to trust yourself a bit more and to let a little more of you into the room.Thank you for listening to the Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast. For more resources like this, visit Barb's website at Barbarapatterson.com.SHOW NOTES:[00:00] - The Journey of Transformation[04:44] - Unmasking Professionalism[07:51] - The Cost of the Mask[10:47] - Finding Safety in Authenticity[13:46] - The Courage to Be Real[16:32] - Shifting Perspectives on Professionalism[19:50] - The Dance of Authenticity and Professionalism[25:31] - The Balance of Professionalism and Authenticity[28:50] - Exploring Organizational Culture and Hidden Rules[31:46] - The Journey to Authentic Leadership[35:53] - Transformation Through Vulnerability[42:31] - The Power of Connection and Self-ExpressionSHOW LINKS:Provoke Learning WebsiteListen to the Gen X at 60 PodcastConnect with Ken on Linkedin

What if life’s detours and unmet expectations are part of the design?In this conversation with Jason Amoroso, Founder of Revelation Breathwork, holistic high-performance coach, and host of Living the Way of Mastery and The Sound of Healing, we explore what it really means to let go of expectations and learn to trust life.From leaving a career in professional sports to building a business rooted in spirit and service, Jason shares openly about success, surrender, and the inner journey that continues to reshape him.A conversation about the space between drive and allowing, and discovering what remains when we stop trying to make life match the picture in our minds.Thank you for listening to the Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast. For more resources like this, visit Barb's website at Barbarapatterson.com.SHOW NOTES[00:00] - Navigating Expectations and Reality[05:32] - The Hero's Journey and Personal Growth[08:36] - The Dance of Disappointment and Resilience[11:32] - Finding Purpose in the Struggle[14:25] - The Balance of Drive and Satisfaction[17:30] - Embracing Change and New Opportunities[20:35] - The Journey of Entrepreneurship and Self-Discovery[23:27] - The Role of Parenting in Business and Life[28:17] - The Balancing Act of Parenthood and Entrepreneurship[31:09] - Choosing Family Over Financial Gain[33:07] - The Importance of Mental Clarity and Awareness[35:26] - Navigating the Entrepreneurial Mindset[38:11] - The Role of Sleep in Personal Well-being[42:29] - Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery[45:04] - Creating Meaningful Connections Through Breathwork[54:44] - Thank you for listening!SHOW LINKSLearn more about Revelation BreathworkFollow Jason on Instagram

There are times when life looks fine on the outside - work is flowing, relationships are steady - yet something inside feels muted. A quiet flatness.That subtle hum of “blah.”In this solo episode, Barb explores how that feeling can often be a sign that we’ve drifted into our minds, narrating, managing, and interpreting life instead of living it directly.Drawing on a James Joyce quote, “Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body,” she reflects on how our mental protectors, once useful, can begin to constrict the very aliveness we long for.Through story and reflection, Barb invites you to notice where you might be living one step removed and to rediscover what happens when you let life in, not as something to fix or improve, but as an opening to more connection, richness, and felt presence.“Maybe the question isn’t how do I live more fully, but how much life am I willing to let in - even when it stirs me?”Thank you for listening to the Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast. For more resources like this, visit Barb's website at Barbarapatterson.com.SHOW NOTES[00:00] - Letting Life In: An Introduction[01:41] - The Distance from Our Bodies[04:23] - The Protection of Observation[06:02] - The Impact of Internal Guards[09:21] - The Call to Aliveness[12:34] - Exploring Direct ExperienceSHOW LINKSSubscribe to the podcast on YouTube Follow Barb on LinkedinFollow Barb on Instagram

We all carry invisible rules, the quiet assumptions that shape how we live, work, and measure success.In this episode, Barb shares a story from a recent leadership retreat that revealed three powerful but often unseen beliefs:• that speed equals excellence,• that output equals worth, and• that what worked before should still work now.These hidden rules can fuel stress and overdrive, even when everything looks “successful” on the surface.When we start to see them clearly, something shifts.We discover that true excellence lives in clarity, not velocity - in presence, not proving. Thank you for listening to the Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast. For more resources like this, visit Barb's website at Barbarapatterson.com. SHOW NOTES:[00:00] - Unveiling Invisible Rules[05:26] - The Cost of Excellence[07:53] - Exploring Assumptions[12:03] - The Velocity Trap[14:36] - Output Equals Worth[19:59] - The Rule of InertiaSHOW LINKS:Subscribe to the podcast on YouTube Follow Barb on LinkedinFollow Barb on Instagram

What happens when you spend six days in complete darkness, no phone, no light, no distractions, and finally stop trying to hold it all together?In this profound and intimate conversation, Barb Patterson sits down with Scott Kelly, a transformative coach whose experience in a dark retreat revealed what it truly means to let go and trust life.Scott shares how exhaustion, striving, and a lifetime of “it’s all up to me” slowly gave way to deep rest, surrender, and freedom.Together, Barb and Scott explore:The power of darkness to illuminate what’s trueHow nervous system healing opens the door to deeper trustWhy letting go isn’t collapse — it’s alignment with the intelligence of lifeWhat happens when we stop living from survival and start letting life leadA conversation about surrender, aliveness, and the light that finds us when we stop searching for it.Thank you for listening to The Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast! To learn more about Barb visit her website.SHOW NOTES[00:00] - Introduction and Personal Transformations[03:51] - The Dark Retreat Experience[13:06] - Insights from the Dark[22:13] - Integration and Returning to the World[34:20] - Letting Go of Identity[42:25] - Trusting the Process of Change[50:35] - Final Thoughts and ReflectionsSHOW LINKSVisit Scott’s WebsiteConnect with Scott on LinkedinFollow Scott on Instagram

What if your okayness was never at risk, no matter the circumstances?In this episode, I’m joined by Board Certified Coach and Educator Davida Arnold for a conversation about what it means to discover that you’re okay - no matter what’s happening around you.Davida shares personal stories from parenting, teaching, and her own journey that reveal how easily we can get caught in the illusion that our happiness depends on others or our circumstances. Through the lens of the inside-out nature of life, she shows how clarity, grace, and well-being are always available within us.We explore the freedom that comes when we stop trying to control life and instead begin to trust the deeper intelligence behind it. From moments with her kids to insights in the classroom, Davida points us toward a truth that is both simple and profound: our okayness is never at risk.SHOW NOTES:[00:00] - Introduction and Background[02:22] - The Inner and Outer Worlds[04:40] - Personal Insights and Transformations[11:05] - Understanding Happiness and Relationships[12:01] - Impact on Education and Teaching[20:31] - Trusting the Process of Life[27:12] - Navigating Challenges in Education[36:48] - The Power of Perspective[38:56] - Final Thoughts and ReflectionsSHOW LINKS:Visit Davida’s WebsiteThank you for listening to this episode! If you are interested in learning more about Barb and Innerverse Academy, you can visit our website at https://barbarapatterson.com/.

We’ve all been told to chase “work-life balance.” Get the calendar right. Set better boundaries. Manage your time better. But what if balance has nothing to do with rearranging the outside?In this episode, Barb Patterson explores why the traditional idea of work-life balance keeps us on a hamster wheel, and a fresh perspective on where to find what you’re looking for. She shares the simple but profound shift that allows you to meet deadlines, demands, and relationships with more clarity, presence, and ease.You’ll hear stories, insights, and practical moves for:• Seeing how your inner climate shapes every outer experience• Letting go of the myth that circumstances dictate your state of mind• Releasing the pressure of “equal time” and instead honoring the season you’re in• Remembering that your worth has nothing to do with productivityIf you’ve ever felt behind, stretched thin, or caught between competing demands, this episode offers a fresh perspective, one that reveals balance is already available to you, right here, in any moment.SHOW NOTES[00:00] – The Myth of Work-Life Balance[05:00] – Understanding Our Inner Climate[09:59] – The Power of Internal Balance[16:20] – Challenging Common Myths[28:41] – Practical Steps to Inner BalanceSHOW LINKSSubscribe to the podcast on YouTube Follow Barb on LinkedinFollow Barb on Instagram

What happens when the very lens shaping your world is invisible to you?In this intimate conversation, coach and author Melissa Ford shares her journey of uncovering the deep, unconscious belief that “I don’t matter”, and how that hidden story colored her relationships, her work, and her sense of self.Melissa and I explore the shift from concealing who we are, managing our image, protecting ourselves, controlling how others see us, to the profound freedom that comes when we reveal what’s really true. Along the way, Melissa describes the wake-up calls, messy moments, and liberating insights that transformed her marriage, her coaching practice, and her ability to fully engage with life.If you’ve ever found yourself second-guessing, over-controlling, or living under the weight of old conditioning, this conversation is an invitation to see the invisible lens shaping your reality, and to experience the deeper love, connection, and creativity that comes when you reveal rather than conceal.Thank you for listening to The Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast! Don't forget to follow for new episodes every Thursday and visit Barb's website for more resources.SHOW NOTES:[00:00] - Transformation Through Coaching[07:58] - The Journey of Self-Discovery[17:25] - Unraveling Core Beliefs[25:10] - Shifting Perspectives in Relationships[36:48] - The Power of Revealing vs. ConcealingSHOW LINKS:Connect with Melissa on LinkedInVisit Melissa’s website